When Hipster Irony Gets Carried Too Far

This is utterly indefensible, even by the low standards of misnomered "irony."

Worst Lyrics Ever?

I think we have a new winner.

Least Essential Albums

As they do every year, the A.V. Club has spoken, and it is good. Or rather, the list is good; the music?.....well, Creed has a new album out. 'Nuff said.

The Day the Music Died

The Rock Hall of Fame was a joke years ago. But this? ABBA is awful enough (words cannot express the hatred I have for them), but knowing Phil Collins will be inducted in any capacity at the same time? If there is a just god, the rock hall will spontaneously combust and fall into Lake Erie, never to be revived in any capacity.

And Iggy, to answer your question "Am I still cool? Or is that over now?", the answer is, You're getting inducted with ABBA and Phil Collins. That's over now.

(And the fact that some new scrolling message board on google had numerous people declaring ABBA the "best rock group ever" without tongue planted firmly in cheek is just one more bit of evidence that parody is dead.)

The Worse Article to Ever Hit the Intertubes

That Creed is a great band.

Published in Slate no less.

If people can publish this shit at major websites, how can I not make my living on the internet? Are my ideas actually worse than this?!

Via Lemieux.

Behold - More Evidence of America's Cultural Death

I didn't see the Super Bowl this year, so I missed this little abomination of crass commercialism until it re-aired during the All-Star game last night.

All I can say is, congratulations, Rod Stewart - now you only have the second worst ripoff of the original version ever. (And seriously - I will always be amazed that he talked his way out of a plagiarism suit on this, given the similarities between this and this. It's not like Stewart had never plagiarized before - you just have to compare the chorus of this to this to hear it.)

(And in one last parenthetical, if anybody is unfamiliar with Jorge Ben, I can't recommend his material from the 1960s and 1970s strongly enough. Some of it has been re-released in the U.S. recently, and is outstanding, as is his 1975 accoustic-jam improv session w/Gilberto Gil.)

Damn You, Simon Cowell....

This sounds like quite possibly some of the worst music to come out in the not-too-distant future, even by American Idol standards: “I want to go rock — David Bowie and Queen, but make it more easy for people to get."

*Sigh*....I'll grant that, to this day, it's mind boggling how anybody could let a song like "Bicycle" enter into the public domain, but beyond that...

A) David Bowie was fine the way he was back in the 1970s and 1980s
B) There's a word for the kind of music you're describing - I believe the technical term is "a porta-potty's worth of absolute lowest common-denominator shit."
C) I gleefully know very little about current "pop" music, but I'm fairly certain, without even having heard Lady Gaga, that her producer will not be giving you that "David Bowie/Queen" sound.
D) Do you even know anything about David Bowie? Quick hint: there is no one David Bowie "sound".
E) It's "easier," not "more easy."

Well, This Should Be of Great Use to Self-Loathing Sadomasochistic Insomniacs (and Yankee Fans Who Also Hate Good Music)

In the summer of 2004, when I was working in retail-hell, I was subjected to Bernie Williams' CD for about a week. It was agony - I mean, absolute death-by-boredom. It magically made one hour feel like 17, and made the work day interminable. Mercifully, even the GM of the store, who had the absolute worst taste, thought it was too boring and awful to listen to beyond 7 days, and so I was able to close the door on a brief-but-dark period of my life.

But now, there's a new Bernie Williams CD? With guest appearances from Jon Secada and smooth jazz "great" Dave Koz? And a cliched cover of one of the more overrated Bruce Springsteen songs?

How can I resist?

Obama a Deadhead?

Of all of the questionable decisions Obama has made prior to his inauguration, few have disturbed me quite as much as this. Even if they don't have time to jam, that is a terrible waste of an hour of live music.

Well, It's a Start

Now if he'll just apologize for each and every one of his other albums...

Where's the Dinosaur Jr.?

Somehow (I think it was in a petition asking for Gonzales's resignation a few months ago), I got on Hillary Clinton's e-mailing list, and I'm too lazy and apathetic (to this point, at least) to have removed myself from it. So today, I get an e-mail asking me to help her pick her campaign song. My choices range from the somewhat logical (The Temptations, "Get Ready", U2, "Beautiful Day) to the crappy covers (Smash Mouth, "I'm a Believer") to the "I want the red states so I'll pick country music" (Shania Twain, "Rock this Country!" and Dixie Chicks, "Ready to Run") to the illogical (U2, "City of Blinding Lights"). Overall, it's basically at-best mediocre music. Part of me hopes someday in my lifetime, somebody just goes nuts, and picks something that is out of the mainstream. "Teenage Riot" by Sonic Youth is my secret desire, but even if it's just something with a politically awkward title and not that well-known (Dinosaur Jr.'s "Sludgefeast" springs to mind) would be nice. Instead, we get vanilla music for vanilla politicians.

Worst. List. EVER.

Shania Twain at TWENTY-ONE (before Who's Next!!!!!)???? Santana at THIRTEEN????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dave Matthews???? NORA F*CKING JONES????

I know lists are subjective, but....this one...i mean.....i can't.....but how.....i don't.......jeez.......