About Myself
Juz someone who wants to lead an ordinary life. =)

tjc 07/04
rvhs 2j'01
rvhs 4d'03
tjc guitar ensemble
nus science

Previous Posts

march..

jan...

dec...

sep...

aug II...

aug...

july...

june...

june...

jan...

Archives

January 2005

February 2005

March 2005

April 2005

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005

August 2005

September 2005

October 2005

November 2005

December 2005

January 2006

February 2006

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

October 2006

November 2006

December 2006

January 2007

February 2007

March 2007

May 2007

June 2007

July 2007

August 2007

September 2007

October 2007

November 2007

December 2007

January 2008

February 2008

March 2008

April 2008

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

August 2008

January 2009

February 2009

March 2009

April 2009

May 2009

June 2009

August 2009

October 2009

November 2009

February 2010

April 2010

May 2010

June 2010

July 2010

October 2010

November 2010

January 2011

May 2011

June 2011

July 2011

August 2011

September 2011

December 2011

January 2012

March 2012

Links

Tan Ching

Kayejaye

Jing Ting

Hui Shan

Pui Sze

CHyork

Chancy

Sandra

Huimin

Pinting

Xiu Hui

Davina

Jeffery

Liyang

Siying

Yuting

Wendi

Hanni

Suwen

Eejun

Tuan

Irma

rvhs2j2001

TJC Homepage

NUS Homepage

Students' Sketchpad

view taken at batam =)

finally end of august, and i'm seeing the end of my admin duties. just sent out one of my few final emails. and a check reviewed that i've actually sent out almost 450 emails within this 3-4 months period. work out the math, average 3 to 4 emails a day including weekends. would say this was a tough period on my workload, and was glad it was over. at least boss was nicer to me towards the end after i let out in an email that i was tired and unhappy from covering the admin stuff and that affected my lab work badly. its good to be trusted by boss, but yet the amount of things that come non-stop from him its too much to handle at times. but at least i've learnt / seen the art of procurement and handling suppliers / sales people, and some finance skill involved as well on grant management. another plus point was this job made me spoke to some of my lab mates whom i normally don't speak to more, and hence somehow improve the communication channel as well (especially from the other side of the office). nevertheless glad the end is here, though i know i wouldnt be totally relieved from this now that i knew too much confidential stuff and still some dangling matters to settle. at least more free i guess.

lectures had been okay, just once per week and its pretty boring but its the last module already! and finally received confirmation that i've passed the written QE taken in june, which is a relief as no one will want to go through the long preparation process again. jap lessons are going to end in 1 month's time where i have to take my E2 test. given my circumstances i wouldnt be able to continue my intermediate course which needs full commitment of 36 lessons. but still had been nice learning some other languages though i am very slow at learning non-science stuff (its true and especially languages), and hopefully it will be useful when i go japan in december, and the travelling after that =) had heard about how workaholic is it over at IMS, not looking forward to it at all but would be good training and experience. imagine 9.30am to 10pm everyday, non-stop from monday to saturday, and no personal PCs in the lab and the provided computers are only for academic purposes. furthermore they don't communicate at all in the lab. only work work and more work, plus group meeting twice a week where progress report are required weekly, this is madness. i shouldnt complain about my biweekly report then..

and PE are finally over, with my first chance of voting! quick and rapid process i was back home within 5 mins (including my walking time to the school downstairs). wouldn't comment on the results or whom i've voted, but hopefully the divide will heal and the sour sentiments will eventually decrease over time.

and batam trip had been very nice and relaxing. cable ski was tiring and after 1 whole day me and val still couldnt stand up on the board (sigh). but its a nice experience. at least we went on the kneeboard for few rounds. and we came back with all total aches everywhere and anywhere which took almost a week to recover. but having to soak in the nice resort and jacuzzi after that was a very nice experience, cum the very nice hotel room! much more relaxing than tioman, given we were really just there to relax like watching dvd in the room at night and having fun in the pool. cant wait for the next one again =)

gotta start on new sets of readings for a totally new topic for my work, which i'll need to work even harder to churn out stuff for QE next year as well as for my attachment. at least let me move on from here and hopefully i'll start afresh new on a clean slate, leaving my old self of lack of confidence and motivation behind.

and did runnus last week which was my first offical proper full run. the 11km of slopes was tough but glad i managed to finish, despite the rather slow timing. had a bad start and the run after that didn't go so well. but at least its a good experience. hopefully i'll take a shorter time to finish the bay run next sunday and have a better run! =)

till next time then! =)

4:33 PM //

its the month of august again. would say time flies. exactly a year ago i've began on my long journey of graduate studies, where it have been very bumpy but i'm glad to have support from everyone around me. its still nevertheless bumpy with many hurdles to cross (as what val says) but at least i'm content, just getting pass day to day.

everyone asked me why i would do my phd, and what i'll do after that. initially, the idea was that i'm just too tired or not bothered to find a job outside and if i get stipends from studying, its as if i'm being paid to study so why not. furthermore, my parents' idea was for both of us to get the highest possible educational qualification, as there are indeed many bachelors and masters degree around and hence they supported my idea of doing a phd, despite the risk of overqualification in many jobs. my retreat route was to downgrade to masters, in the case i cannot cope with this life anymore. but looking at it, the retreat route is rather bleak, as looking at it, my parents are now trying to get my bro to do his phd, so its inevitable i'll be on this path once again. furthermore, i've chosen this route, and hence its necessary that i'll fulfil it, to the best that i can. hopefully the tears of suffering will eventually convert to tears of joy, upon wearing of the green robe and the cute fluffy hat, after crossing the many hurdles of oral QE, attachment, long lab hours and finally oral defense.

frankly speaking, i've never been feeling much sense of joy and satisfaction ever since i've completed my degree. from the stint of a part-time RA to conversion to a phd student, i'm feeling exhausted and lost everyday. furthermore with the covering of lab admin duties, i feel that im being split into many parts, unable to really focus on any of the single things. thats why jacks of all trades will never thrive. with all the minor little things that im in charge and what boss throw to me, i had enough. can you imagine every min every hour i'm just so tied down by thoughts of work, even when i'm suppose to be resting on weekends and on leave, when the emails just come in as and when they want. even on saturdays, i've have to make urgent arrangements, and waiting for his 'wonderful' replies. i'm not an LO, and why i'm being arrowed to do all these rubbish when others just have to concentrate on rushing lab work.

furthermore with the introduction of biweekly report, its not a good news for me, as i'll need to churn out what, 4 to 5 experiments per 2 weeks just to fill up the 5 slides? the inertia and the reluctance is so high to just get me in looking at my own stuff, which im currently being stuck totally. no sense of satisfaction, no sense of joy, no sense of feeling that i myself have some worth. dropping out is a very tempting path to take, to relieve me of all these crap. to add on i still have that freaking manuscript to edit with tight schedule, i wonder how am i going to come out of these alive, and to really enjoy my trips with all this things bogging my mind. thats the sad life of a phd student huh. just that im probably unlucky with so many arrows coming my way, with the new batch of students coming in and boss throwing me into every single matter ever possible. grrr.. cant wait for SW to be back soon, to at least clear half of my current burden. im getting breathless of all these things, totally.

but at least, the tioman trip was pretty fun with the lab people. 3 singaporeans, 3 chinese and 1 japanese, a very diverse group i would say. but its quite fun minus off the long bus and ferry journey cum all the jams that we had. get to see the fun side of everyone, from playing of volleyball, walking along the beaches and going snorkelling! furthermore we were trapped in the middle of the sea in the middle of the night in the middle of the storm, that we cant forget in the long while, when the taxi ferry just ran out out of petrol and a storm is approaching. plus its a good excuse to escape from the poster competition and the inspection haha (it wasnt meant to but it all happened on the same day), but at least the beach was nice to just stare and relax for a while. =) being close to mother nature is just so relaxing, and we can see its wonderful creation when you get to see the fishes swimming past through quickly (minus the seasick that i had =( ) and the beautiful corals at the seabed! sadly should have gotten an underwater camera, but the memories of it suffices. check out the photos on my fb then =)

glad to enjoy the 07 korean bbq on sat with 10 people squeezing 1 pit, and wavehouse at sentosa on sunday was fun! minus the severe aching that i'm having now. looking forward to cable ski at batam this coming weekend. and of course, meeting the guitar peeps as well =)

okay gotta get back to work, my sad life. till next time then! happy national day! =)

1:17 PM //