About Myself
Juz someone who wants to lead an ordinary life. =)

tjc 07/04
rvhs 2j'01
rvhs 4d'03
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right. its finally the end of JCT! woo hoo! and i accomplished a feat of not sleeping for around 36 hours until now due to over-intake of caffine so basically i just anyhow did my papers today. =)

wouldn't comment much about the papers. what's done is already done. no point complaining about it and whining about how badly i did. to say that i do not care about my results is a lie as i have to meet up with the expectations of my parents and personally i will feel that results change how people perceive you as a person. especially in school now. if you have great results, you will most likely be regarded more highly. add on the leadership positions which is held. how practical the world is now to judge on the surface of the person and not the innate ability in them and their character. if you have oratorical abilities even make the situation better for you. you can 'smoke' your way through and try to influence other people about how well you can carry yourself and your management of interpersonal relationships.

back to papers. basically being able to photocopy everything from the notes and reproduce them on the scripts seems like the best method to score the high marks. sadly i belong to those category of people who can't memorise stuff but actually understand the stuff and trying to rephrase the sentences to fit the questions. though this is actually not a good way to capture the marks but that's how i think the examinations should test on. it should be more on the concepts and understanding and not how well you can photocopying everything from the notes. so basically those people who study for the sake of studying without understanding the main concepts are considered as the true typical muggers and the fake high scorers to me. this may sound harsh but that's how i basically feel.

anyway thanks for the tags everyone. =) yup. its hard to let go as i do not really know what i want. but once i figured that out, guess i will still take some time to get over it. =) maybe its just how hard i have fallen over my first true crush. but i will try and think of the future and move on. =) its not the right time for such thinkings also with the hectic schedule and the high stress level that we are experiencing as a year2 student. let fate decides when the right person will come. =)

and its 5 days of post JCT holiday from now! wee~ guess its the right timing to rest and recharge and prepare for the battle of our main enemy of the year: the A levels. and i shall start counting down to the official ending of guitar for the 04/05 batch which is 6 days from now right after our last performance together as an ensemble and let the remaining 2 guitar practices pass by peacefully and happily. =)

6:54 PM //

okie last week of holidays is here. its mugging week but yet i have no motivation. die. not even finished any subject. pengs. more mugging to do. i shall stay out of my house and start mugging outside.

feeling so sick and tired of life. its like a routine. sleep mug sleep mug. when is life not a routine. even out of school you start going to work its another routine again. i hate routines. perhaps should find some entertainment during those hated routines to spice up my life. =)

looking forward to the beach outing after JCT with guitar peeps yeah! havent inform them yet but i am so excited about it. and most probably going on my birthday yeah! =) ( since heard fri and sat got guitar prac =X ) woo hoo~ what's got over me when JCT is not over yet lol. at least something to spur me on. =)

i missed my 1st 3 mths. i missed the time when we had fun. i missed the time when i am myself and is so high always. i missed laming with you. i missed talking to you freely. i missed i missed. how i hope time remains at that phrase where i am so happy. what about now? i seemed to become the quiet and unprovokable person in class. i seem to miss out a lot during those class discussions. where is the real me where i can be happy everyday and talk around without any restrictions? i guess its hard to find back the real me with so many things going on and studies being the emphasis of every JC student and keeping so many things to myself.

i am only myself in guitar where i can talk whatever i want and click with everyone. i enjoyed myself so much i relied too much on guitar to give my pillar of support where i can forget my worries and sadness. i found close friends who are willing to lend me their shoulders, listen to my complains and my feelings without feeling uncomfortable. now that guitar is ending, guess life's getting hard on me with everyone so focused on their studies and no one i feel comfortable to talk with and feel high with. its kinda true that i put so much into guitar that i become distant with my classmates. but guitar is a place we share happiness joy sadness anger and understanding each other best without much conferencing. i am only my true self in guitar and that's why i dread the day of the performance on the 6th july which is the last day that we are together as one before we move on with each other's life. though its part and parcel of life and everything has an ending, i guess it will be ages later before i feel so happy once again with such big group of people with my strange character.

you can that i am 2-faced. i do agree with that. its like putting up a mask to step into the classroom every morning trying to act happy and all those but not thoroughly enjoying the company of my classmates. though its not as bad as back to sec4, i am still sick and tired of this. being 'outcasted' and so on. sick of it! though my classmates are all nice people, its just hard to find a correct topic to talk on and frankly, i dun really know them deep enough. guess i need to understand myself first before i get to understand my classmates further.

i do not know what i want. and i realised i havent totally gotten over that incident. its hard to concentrate at times during studies. i noe its just an infactuation and i will get nothing out of it but my heart refuses to understand. its been a long 1.5 yr. i hate it. i hate myself for not able to reason logically about such things but davina i promise you i will think about what you told me and get over this soon. =)

hai i am just sick and tired of life. or perhaps its just a phrase when i feel low and sad and stressed up. hope everything will turn out fine. and i wish everyone good luck for their jct. =)

3:50 PM //

07/04 Class Photo Mosaic

yeah just something that i had just done. those who wish to have the real copy which is the size for your wallpaper ( 1024 X 768 ) pls get it from me from msn. =)

9:49 PM //

woo hoo! its finally over~ and the new committee is out also! =D didn't do much as the DM since i can't do push-ups ( because of my knee cap ) and i didn't really scold and pump them much la ( though i heard the juniors say i am loud and fierce boohoo ). seems like i am the nicest DM there haha. =P ohps.

first day. all the PT and games. for morning PT did circuit training like mass PE. but i ran at the back and take care of those with some problems and walk with them. wasn't leading much. the spirit, attitude and sense of urgency of the juniors this year wasn't as well as my batch and we were rather disappointed by it la. was in charge of the low wall game ( climb over the low wall and run to the gallery and pour water into the pail under the gallery. ). was too bored that i climbed up the gallery twice using the dents in the wall ( from the back of the gallery and not the steps. side nearer to the toilets. ) whoa i finally managed to overcome my height phobia for that part. =D sounded as if i am a monkey LOL. ohps. and i slept at the gallery for some time while waiting too. =P

then the wet games. i was totally wet. it was the passing of the water bomb using garage bags. after each group they can play some water here and obviously the worst victim is yuting haha. i only got wetter near the end of the game. so fun. =D we who are in charge of the 2 stations keep going to each station and start splashin each other ohps. and it was fun! =D then the PT again. they looked extremely tired after that. sandra the medic is busy the whole day. =D

concert. rather short. our year one was nicer. night game. was acting and they took 1 hour to find me at the canteen only through the help of other year2s. haha. was sitting alone at the path to the rockwall in between zap and fruit stall. was rather dark la ahha. =P they can't find me! ohps. didn't really scare them since i am too tired from waiting.

second day. HIKE FOR 26 KM! my group anchor only has 3 gals present and we took the shortest time of 7h40min to complete the whole route woo hoo~ so proud of them. before that i forced the comm to drink some ENOS and they got too high from drinking them ( while i drank a lot more than them haix. ) walked from sch to expo to bedok to siglap to marine parade to kallang to chijmes to istana park. woo hoo~ =D all on my feet. my feet hurts a lot due to my flat foot but must set example for the juniors. thanks puisze for accompanying me and distracted me from the extreme pain! =D ( i was partnered with keemeng to go with the group ) we are the fastest group man! whoa! =D 1st group to set off and 1st group to reach there. we took photos there and waited for around an hour plus for all other groups to reach. =) walked from 8.58 am to 4.38 pm. yeah~ it was much longer than last year. and i am so happy that only 1 group out of 4 manage to solve my clue CFEPL after much hints. hehx. =D try guessing where's that place.

last day. hustings. very little people turned up. wasn't very happy with the interview for treasurer and its kinda obvious that i was pissed off la. but at least i got someone whom i can trust to take over the post. =D congrats to the new comm! =D went changi airport swensens for dinner. had so much fun there. =D esp with the earthquake ohps. played truth and truth at viewing gallery. but i didn't managed to hear a lot since i left early boo hoo since my mum asked me to go home immediately and i am very unhappy with her. ignored my parents for the whole night. maybe later i go ask on what i missed out. =D yeah.

finally enough rest. i am happy with my tanning from the 7h40min under the sun. =D mine is considered the better one among the other gals since they got sunburnt while i do not have haha. ohps. =P even my bro said i am darker yeah~ =D

bought new shoes at queensway just now. finally something to make me happier which i talked with my parents after that. its blue la. an all conditioned gear shoe. looks rather cool and boyish but i like it a lot yeah! =D no more shoelaces to tie! ( shows how lazy i am. ) its only 85 bucks ( though i found another stall selling 83 but who cares. i wasn't the one paying hahaha. )

time to start mugging next week. no more playing around. 2 weeks to finish learning all the stuff. must at least pass my gp and get AACE! time to mug! everyone jiayoux!

6:13 PM //

whoa the holidays are going too fast that i cant believe it. not with the frequent meetings that we have in school for the camp. boo. i didn't manage to get the group that i wanted due to some special reasons, and not much accompaniment for the hike either. hope they can entertain me for the hike. =)

meetings and meetings. night games. i am supposed to act. HELLO I CAN'T ACT FOR NUTS. oh man. i do not know how am i suppose to stay alone for 2 hours in the night and act hysterically as well. think most probably i will be laughing at myself ohps. oh well. must force myself to get into the mood after the torturous PTs that i have to do with them though my knees are giving me the signal not to. strangely my knees have been giving me some troubles nowadays. blehx. never mind davina is helping me out! =D

yeah been playing too much computer games. i can't get myself off the comp either. oh no. think i shall camp outside my house and start mugging somewhere else other than my home. a strange dude here who can't study at home and need perfect peace to study. heard my classmates are all working hard. where am i then. =(

daddy'y birthday yesterday! woo hoo~ happy birthday daddy! didn't have much special things yesterday, but me and roofy spent a hysterical day together haha. we went to each other house and take some lame photos. and she can't believe i wore pink. LOL. but that's the only one i have due to a dare haha and its nice to wear though i detest the color LOL. i dislike pink. ohps.

yeah hope this wk will pass by quickly to end my meetings and my camp etc. =P

p.s. anyone who hopes to catcha TJ guitar performing for SYF closing pls purchase the tickets from sistic. its on the 6th july, at Singapore Conference Hall, tickets i rmb its only 2 bucks. =D tickets are also available for other performing group.

2:11 PM //