About Myself
Juz someone who wants to lead an ordinary life. =)

tjc 07/04
rvhs 2j'01
rvhs 4d'03
tjc guitar ensemble
nus science

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yup. i finally read finish the book 'man called dave' within like a few days and surprising pick up a book by nicholas sparks ( since sy has been praising this author for a long time ) called the rescue. what a bookworm i have became instead of touching my tutorials.

been slacking a lot these days. even though i feel the stress sometimes i can't seem to push myself to work harder and do my revision. though my econs tutor has threatened me to drop econs, i still haven't started revising for the test. i don't have the self-discipline to keep myself working. or is it due to my self-perfectionist character that once i do not understand anything i will stop doing the questions? i will never leave a question blank like that since my school days. but that has been holding me back from moving on with tutorials. no matter how hard i tried, its rare that i can solve any problems which i do not understand. seems to be a barrier for me to stay focus to whatever i do. whats wrong with me. where did my motivation go?

i really wondered if i should be holding to so many stuff after i received my 1st O for my results.. and O and E together. i will confirmed be 'killed' by my parents after they received my march progress report and tutors writing down that i do not prepare tutorials. then i will be locked in.

not been a great kid recently though i stayed at home completely without meeting any friends. watched tv, sleep, slacked. probability driving me mad. lost some interest in chem too. i am such a problematic kid. syf. chem s. 4 sub. hectic life. sad life. boo. still trying to help my section mates to stay in syf after kent told me about their slim chance of participating in syf. though i am not a great player, even if i got kicked out, at least the 2 of them are still in after their hard work unlike me who played horrendously which will make me happy for them. =)

5:33 PM //

whoa a week is nearly gone and i am almost freshened up for another term despite the long practices and yes! i survived through them! so proud of myself.

didn't touch my tutorials though. been going out this whole week except for sunday. what a waste of chance to catch up with my work especially for econs. arghs.

syf set on the 25th april. seems so near. its only a month away and i am still having some problems with the pieces. oh well. time to work on it and i finishing my concert piece already within 2/3 days. =) getting more sick and sick of seeing my instrument which i had hope to learn. its like the competitions dashing my passion for the instrument and i am not learning the pieces out of my own accord. its been like so-called a torture to me. but at least i am building up on my foundation to learn on my own after the A level to learn how to play solo instead of keep doing ensemble pieces.

caught 2 movies this week. one is series of unfortunate events, which shows how evil can a man turn into by greed, and the other is hitch, which shows that for any relationships to start, one must be given an opportunity to catch another's attention or to know the person better. but we must also give ourselves a chance and have the courage to create our own opportunity instead of relying on others. =)

finally sports on sat! yeah! met jeff and ron for table tennis and swimming at jurong east sports complex, then we went for dry swim! yeah! long time never catch up with them. its a nice feeling though i injured my leg again. arghs. tripped over a step and dropped my phone. limped all the way till ron's house but its getting better. =) its the fun that matters and its nice to go out with guy friends sometimes. =) at least u can tell them anything you want and they will pay for most stuff haha. =P they also increases the fun factor when going out. =) don't be mistaken. they are my ex-cca friends who are very close to me. =)

school re-starting. boo. anyway good luck to those having block tests! =) jiayoux! especially to vick n jeff. =)

5:12 PM //

read this book called 'a child called it' by dave pertez when i went to borders just now. was recommanded by my upper secondary english teacher ms chia. finised reading it within like 2 hours there. felt saddened by the storyline.

story is about a boy called david who used to have a nice and caring mother whom he loved very much. however, his mum changed and become violent and treated him like a slave, starving him and making him doing all the chores in the house while his brothers are still well-treated by her. his father left them afterwards since he can't stand staying at home being controlled by her. a family no more to him. david was too scared to speak up and suffered many bruises and even a stab from his mum. only till his teachers noticed that he is a problem kid ( he stole food from others to keep alive and was outcasted by all the other kids, wearing the same old stinky shirt and having many bruises on him ) reported to the police and saved him from her mother.

a very touching and saddening story. how could a parent bear to hurt and torture her own child. an innocent life maybe gone or even hurt a child deeply to why he is treated like that. does parents who really hate her child has to vent all her anger on him and treat him as an IT and not for who is he. its unfair for the child to go through this ordeal and do not understand the reason behind it other than being brainwashed that he misbehaved and he is a bad boy. how many children is actually undergoing child abuse now with such temperant parents and casting a shadow in their growing up process.

for parents. what could have caused the extreme change in attitute towards a child. for david's case, it is due to his mother indulging in alcohol and some unknown reasons. thinking realistically, there may be an obvious reason why child abuse takes place even in the world today: stress. being stressful at work may make a parent being frustrated and vent their unhappiness on their child by beating their child up when they make small minor mistakes or just being cruel to them in order to make themselves happy and relax. but is this fair to the child? the poor and innocent child? definitely not.

for other lucky ones like us, we should be grateful with what we have now and stop complaining about our parents having high expectations on us and their continuous naggings. for me, i think its time that i stop defying them and saying bad stuff about them stressing me to get good grades like my brother as they actually hope that i have a bright future and can fulfil my own wishes and become what i want. they showed support, concern and respect, disapproving me from doing certain things which is to protect me from harm. many teenagers do not realise this point. they disobeyed their parents and went ahead with what they wanted to do. though parents may sometimes be wrong in their judgement, all they wanted is for us to be good and safe. that is why i have decided to postpone my dream of learning scuba diving till a later age when they feel that i am independent enough to take care of myself and be able to fulful my own dreams though i really wanted to dive underwater and know more about the marine life. anything related to water is always what i wanted to do. but for my own good and parents' dispproval, it is sometimes good to put off dreams for a while and wait till time is ripe instead of making your parents worried. and at least they did not mentally or physically torture us till the stage of not able to forgive them since what they are doing is actually for a good cause.

a very nice and inspiring story. emotionally overwhelmed after reading this. think going to complete reading the sequels if i have the time to do so and if you are interested the sequels are "the lost boy" and "the man called dave". so from now, lets just be grateful with what we have now and be more understanding of parents. =)

7:11 PM //

yeah! finally holidays are here! time for a break! ( not including those horrendously long guitar practices but at least i can look forward to one where i can catcha movie and go kbox with them =) )

not a bad week this week. been feeling better in class nowadays. perhaps just my mood swings and feeling too stressed up these days bahx. thanks sy n ps for your concern. =)everything will turn out fine after the concert and the syf. i have less to perform for concert anyway. lol. finally catching up with my tutorials also. yeah~ *phew* getting into my sec4 momentum of being a mugger. =)

happy birthday mingxiu and pat! today celebrated their birthday before my comm meeting. i went specially down to parkway to grab his present. on the way back to sch saw my sec4 classmate who is in vj. looks so diff now and he's with a nygh gal. whoa. hmmm. but i not too nosey to ask him for more details la and i was running late by the way.

so proud of my ogms!~ 8 of them is ogl and 4 in exco and more in sub commm for 2nd O! whoa! i am very very very proud and happy for them yeah! go hinote! woo hoo~ yeah~ =)

*treat failures as the stepping stones to next phase of LIFE. =)

8:53 PM //

yawnz. half day doesn't seem to have much impact on me because sch ends the same time that i does and the most i missed my chem s lesson. tomorrow having chem spa. yawnz. wish me luck.

keep hearing the tutors commenting on our seniors' A lvl results. kind of keep stressing us on how well the previous batch did blah blah blah. like 1 in 2 scored an A for physics? whoa. better start mugging. i must at least get 3As ( u guys should know which subject i am not taking into account to ) to catch up with my idiotic brother so that my parents wouldn't complain much and show them that staying in tj is the correct choice since they kind of look down on the sch or hope for me to go to a better school. i shall prove to them. time to think again whether to hold on to so many things. still far from being a full time mugger and my online presence everytime shows it. dear me.

blahx been dragging myself to practices. still wondering why on earth did i get into syf when more time could have been put into my tutorials. its kind of like a mental torture to go for practices and playing the same pieces over and over and over and over again till sometimes my fingers are giving up on me. when i heard of more practice sessions, i over-reacted to it. going mad these days. its going to be thrice a week, monday wednesday friday. what the. quantity does not equals to quality if many are in the same state of mentality like me. boo. but can't complain much. suffering till may then june before i'm fully relieved from all my duties. basically i am going for the sake of going. its like an induced north pole going towards a north pole. repulsion.

hmm wondering how my parents are gonna react to my march progress report when i failed like 2 subjects overall. hmm. better get ear muffs. maybe i shall join irma and challenge her for tests and do push up for every mark i lose to her. oh wells.

life sux as a yr2.

3:52 PM //

You are Form 3, Unicorn: The Innocent.
"And The Unicorn knew she wasn't meant to
go into the Dark Wood. Disregarding the advice
given to her by the spirits, Unicorn went
inside and bled silver blood.. For her
misdeed, the world knew evil."
Some examples of the Unicorn Form are Eve
(Christian) and Pandora (Greek).The Unicorn is associated with the concept of
innocence, the number 3, and the element of
water.Her sign is the twilight sun.
As a member of Form 3, you are a curious
individual. You are drawn to new things and
become fascinated with ideas you've never come
in contact with before. Some people may say
you are too nosey, but it's only because you
like getting to the bottom of things and
solving them. Unicorns are the best friends to
have because they are inquisitive.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

1:44 PM //

yeah! today released the A level results results. seniors did quite well. half of the seniors in guitar comm got 3As. yeah! so happy for them. then we got half day off. =)

so inspired by the release of A level today. so it spurs me on to start mugging hard and hope to be those scoring 3As or 4As. i must start mugging hard! at least i am doing my tutorials on time and passing my tests recently. woke up from my lalaland already. thanks irma! wouldn't try to give up econs! will try to hold on to the end unless school forced me to drop. hope they wouldn't force me drop my dear chem S. at least it makes me use my brain harder and its interesting. =)

practice today made me feel better. at least i have been playing better today except the same parts. but it kinda cheered me up already. =) liauw din say anything about me today and i tremblo-ed the loudest today. ohps.

then today celebrated minjoo's and huilin's bday! didn't go for the house function. i walked past but it doesn't seem to be in the high mood at all so we left and went somewhere else.

hmm. been feeling left out nowadays in class. perhaps should try to speak up more when there's a common topic. seems like no common topic then i cant talk much. all about those entertainment news and so on. and i am more of a listener then a speaker ( not those electric ones ). seems like the same situation is happening like in sec3 n 4 but at least i am in a better position now. =) time to speak up more and stop day-dreaming. but at least much happier in guitar. =) laming around horrendously and everyone calls me a fridge. wonders if i am being too serious in class when trying to study. hmm.

yeah. time to do some self-reflection! time to mug! no more procrastination!

11:47 PM //