Decision Time

We have a year left in the UK. It is now decision time. Do we want to stay longer or do we want to go back to the USA? I am pretty much firmly in the camp of I want to stay. I know this might be hard for my family back in the USA to understand, but I love it here. I honestly love the UK. I love my friends here. I love my life here. I love my children's school. I love my children's friends. I love the culture. I love being able to see things I would never ever have the chance to see if we lived anywhere else.

When I think about leaving I get choked up and a bit teary. I just can't even force myself to imagine not living here. This is in complete contrast to when I was leaving the USA for Britain. When we found out that we were moving here I was excited. I couldn't wait for the adventure. Yes, the adventure has had it's ups and downs, but I am not ready for the adventure to end. I couldn't wait to get out of the USA, not because I don't love my country, but because I wanted my kids to experience the world.

So, now, with my husband on the fence about staying, I am trying to pull out all the stops to convince him that we need to stay. Yes, this hasn't been the best assignment for him personally; he has been away from the UK more than he has actually been here. However, he has seen places that he wouldn't have otherwise. There aren't many Americans who can say that they have been to Romania, Sweden, Italy, Germany, Belgium, France, Afghanistan and Korea in the last three years (unless they are military members). He don't have many friends here and less ties to the community. He misses his family back in the USA, which I do too, but I guess I always think "We could be stationed in California and still be half the world away."

I want to stay, but the decision is ultimately up to him. And I hate that.

Fleeting Moments

What does a mother feel when she realizes that her children are maturing right before her eyes? Is it a sense of pride? I just know that in the last couple of days I have witnessed my girls growing right before my eyes and it feels wonderful.

On Sunday, LaLa came down with a rash from head to toe. Normally this would be cause in her mind to send her into fits of crying. She would rage against being sick and turn her inner frustration into outward frustration causing everyone around her to be as miserable as she feels. This time it was different. She took it in stride. She sat in the waiting room of the emergency room patiently, even though she was so itchy she could barely stand to be in her own skin. She didn't complain much. She kept her self preoccupied by reading books and coloring in order to avoid being consumed by the uncomfortableness of the situation. I was proud. I was so incredibly proud of her.

Then today, KiKi relayed a story about how LaLa's best friend had asked where LaLa was because obviously she wasn't in school. Apparently, KiKi has grown up to the point where she can relay a story clearly enough to her peers that they know exactly what she is talking about. It was so clear that LaLa's mate's mother sent me a message via facebook to check to see how she was getting on. I was impressed. We parents know that getting a story straight out of a four year old sometimes can be like pulling crocodile teeth. I am proud of her.

Sometimes I think that I get so caught up in everyday activities that I miss little moments like these to be proud of. Sometimes I don't take the time to see my little ones growing up before my eyes. I have always had people tell me with wistfulness in their eyes recalling their own children growing up "It goes by so quickly" and guess what? It does. I really does go by so quickly.

Talking to Children About Health and Weight

At LaLa's last doctors visit it was mentioned that she was below average in weight. KiKi is also slightly below average in weight. I am overweight and their dad according to Air Force standards is overweight (even though to normal people he is a healthy weight). LaLa's doctor mentioned to me that I need to pack on the calories in her diet. He recommended peanut butter, nutella, cheesy sauces, creamy sauces, basically anything that has a shed load of calories packed into not much food since she is a child and has a child sized appetite. I of course agreed with him while in my head I groaned because being a heavier person myself I have a hard time resisting things such as peanut butter, nutella, cheesy sauces and creamy sauces (and chips, and cakes, and chocolate, and bread, and french fries, and cheese burgers...).

LaLa the whole time was listening with intent and when we got back into the car had loads of questions for me.

La- Mom, what does it mean that I am under weight?
Me- It means that you are really thin.
La- What are calories?
Me- They are the energy in food that give your body what it needs to run. If you eat more calories than your activity burns off then you gain a bit of weight. That is what the doctor is asking me to do, give you more calories.
La- So I need to get fatter?
Me- I wouldn't say fatter, but you could stand to gain a few pounds in order to be more healthy.
La- Do veggies have calories?
Me- Yes.
La- Do I need to eat veggies? I don't like them.
Me- You need to try to eat more veggies.
La- *sigh* So, also because I exercise so much I need to eat more calories?
Me- Yep, because your body keeps burning all those calories that are in your food off.

About a week ago I started WeightWatchers. LaLa, being the ever observant seven year old that she is, noticed that I was paying a lot of attention to the food labels and plugging them into a special calculator before I would eat this week. She finally started asking questions a couple of days ago.

La- Mom, are you trying to eat a lot of calories?
Me- No, I don't need to gain weight like you do. For my age and height I am overweight and it is kind of like you being underweight. It isn't very healthy and I need to be healthy so that I can be able to play more with you and your sister.
La- So you are trying to eat less calories?
Me- Yep.
La- You need to exercise too!
Me- I certainly do.
La- OK. That sounds good.

It sure does little perceptive one, it sure does.

I don't think that children should be held in the dark about health and how weight can affect health. I do think that children should know that self worth should not be tied to weight. I think that children should know that maintaining a healthy weight is about health and not appearance. I also think that teaching children how their bodies work is good! This important knowledge that they can carry on into their adult lives. Maybe if us parents stop dancing around the issue and start teaching our children about healthy living and healthy eating we wouldn't have an epidemic of overweight children.

Defining Backtalk

After months of unacceptable behavior from LaLa, culminating with her acting like a heathen at the Yultide Bazaar on Saturday, I had a massive blow up. Then I had a moment of clarity. I remembered I had this unused star chart sitting on the side of the refrigerator. When I say completely unused I mean completely unused, well except for when LaLa went and put one of her stars up next to a chore, exclaimed loudly she did it and then expected me to bend over backwards to give her allowance (nice try, kiddo, by the way).

So, I sat down Saturday night after I had already confiscated her Wii (to her sheer horror) and redefined each chore with her and added "good attitude" and "no backtalk" to the list to try to tackle her behavior problems. It worked like a charm Sunday. She did all her chores- cleaning her room, removing her toys from the living room, bringing her clothes to the dirty clothes bin, brushed her teeth, made her bed and even did well with not back talking and having a good attitude. I was seriously impressed by her effort.

Then tonight at dinner the conversation ensued.

LaLa- "Mom what exactly is back talk?"
Me- "Well, it is when I ask you to do something and you tell me "no" or "I don't wanna" or are disrespectful back to me"
La- "So if I tell you no that I am not going to do something I don't get my star?"
Me- "Right."
La- "But, if I say yes and do it I get my star?"
Me- "Yep"
La- "But if I say Ok and then later say no and don't do it, then I don't get one, right?"
Me- "Yeah"
La- "But if I say no and then do it I get it?"
Me- "ummm"
La- "cause I did it"
Me- "I guess"
La- "ok..."

I can see it now, she is finding loopholes. It is kind of like Bill Clinton defining the word sex.

Realities of Living Abroad in the Military

When Uncle Sam asked us to live abroad in the UK, we knew it came with a time limit. Four years. We are allowed to enjoy England for four years, and then we will be shipped off to another location. When we got the assignment, we were so excited. Now, it is bittersweet. We have moved here, made friends, have our children in school here and have settled in.

The way the primary school in this area works, all the kids in the same class move up together. This means, she will always have the same classmates. The bonds will be closely formed. The thought of uprooting her in a couple of years makes me sick to my stomach. She already has made close friends. Actually, close isn't even the word for her and her best friend, they are more like sisters. Splitting them up, the thought of it, brings tears to my eyes.

I have already talked to the mother of La's best friend. We are trying to think of a way to get ahead of this speeding train. We are trying to head the pain off at the pass and prepare the girls for the eventuality of LaLa returning to the states. Two and a half years sounds like a long time, but in this case, it is not long enough.