It Was An Accident I Swear!

The first thing you all need to know is that I have a major fear of authority.  I am seriously scared of pissing off "The Man"(not as in my husband.  I am perfectly good at doing that on a regular basis) or any sort of person with even the slightest bit of authority over my life.  So when it came time to renew my visa to stay in the UK, I made sure that I started it early so that I wouldn't accidentally overstay. 

So my husband got the forms from the passport/visa office on base and sent them to me and I filled them out and went into the office and they told me that the forms were out of date and that the UK Home Office had changed the forms.  So I filled out the new 23 pages of forms.  While I was filling out the new forms I took a look at the old visa inside my passport only to have one of those moments where my stomach literally shot into my throat and I thought I was going to heave up my dinner onto my ugly kitchen carpet. 

My visa had expired.  In NOVEMBER.  I am here illegally. 

So at this point I did what any sane person would do.  I started panicking.  First I told my husband, who wasn't amused.  He gave me the stern "how the hell did this happen?" face.  Then I called my best friend who tried to reassure me that everything would be fine surely.  Then I called Liz who told me that "We never throw anyone out".  Skyped with Nickie who kinda helped me not panic so much by making me laugh and distracting me by making rude cucumber jokes while she was cooking.  And then internally freaked out until this morning when the realization that I had to go into the passport office and admit that my paperwork and my children's paperwork was immensely screwed up.  The whole time thinking "They're gonna deport me!" 

So I Facebook messaged Liz and jokingly asked if she knew anyone who sold Xanex on the down low.  To which she replied "We're British, we just drink gin." And I told her that I couldn't drink gin because I was going to have to drive to base and didn't need to get nicked for a drink driving offense on the way down to sort out my visa issues because I didn't want to end up as a story plastered across the front page of the Daily Mail.  Which she acknowledged was a fair point.  To be fair though, I bet I could have sold my story for a good bit of money and taken some properly trashy photographs of me with my boobs hanging out and a cigarette in my hand for the front page. 

So I headed down to the passport office still feeling like I was going to be sick on my nice semi new black flats.  I filled out my information on the computer queuing system and when the lady called me to be seen I walked up and said "I have a big big big problem.  My visa has expired and I didn't realize it til I was filling out my visa extension paperwork because..." and then she interrupted me and said "because your orders said you were here for four years and your visa was only issued for three years.  Don't worry you won't be deported."  And that is when the whole situation became kinda funny for me and I didn't feel sick anymore.

Apparently the consulate in New York doesn't know how to read American military orders very well and this has happened a number of times.  Now I don't feel so special. 

But since I am still scared of "The Man" I am going to distract them with cute pictures of our new kitten, Mr Tibbs, until I am legal in about 12 weeks give or take depending on the bureaucracy involved.  The paperwork is in the mail so to speak.

The British Eccentric

When I moved to England, I thought the term "British eccentric" had to be a falsehood.  Let me tell you, it isn't.  I thought I had seen eccentrics when I was living in South Carolina. The southern United States has a long tradition of eccentrics. We had a man who we thought was an American Civil War reenactor. It turns out he was just a guy with a really long beard who wore a confederate war hat and carried a brief case (containing God knows what), who sat at the local barbers shop to shoot the crap and trade fishing stories with the local folks...cause he could.  Believe me, we're loaded with eccentrics.  Here though, I can't throw a stone without hitting a colorful person.  For the record, by colorful I mean off their rockers and don't give a flying crap.  

When I first moved here we had a neighbor who would mow his lawn while wearing loafers and a tweed jacket...in the middle of July.  Then we had builders of a certain age (above 40 years old) who would blast loud techno music while they were laying bricks at the neighbors house.  There was also the man at the market who had shorts so short that I nearly saw "the twins".  This past week however took the cake.  The entire chocolate cake.

While I was doing my weekly errands in the local town, I saw two older people walking down the sidewalk.  They were the cutest elderly couple ever in the history of ever.  There was a dear old lady and a sweet old man. As they approached I could hear a jingle bell.  Odd.  Then I noticed there was a bell around the older gent's ankle.  Yes, a bell on a rope around his ankle.  He was jingling and jangling as he walked.  No, he wasn't a Morris dancer.  Well, at least he wasn't dressed as one and by my estimation he probably would have broken a hip if he tried to Morris dance.  There was a BELL AROUND HIS ANKLE!!  

At this point I couldn't help but kind of laugh to myself and wonder if it worked like a cat collar with a bell....

"Hush Mabel, Henry is coming.  I can hear his bell."

It's Official

The official email has landed in The Man's inbox. We are staying in the UK until 2015. Ok- don't get all excited at once now! Please hold your applause. OK, never mind, applaud away! I am so completely excited. Firstly, I get to stay near my crew. And by crew I don't mean some sort of middle aged street gang, I mean my local girls who have become like family. Secondly, I don't have to uproot my kids. This is such a bonus. My kids have thrived in their small village school. I really can not tell you how much this school means to me. (A bit sappy?) Thirdly? Thrice? Yeah, number three, we get to stay abroad! Exploring. Learning. Experiencing. How cool is that?

Also? LaLa just sweet talked her dad into a new kitten. (I think I am almost as excited about that as I am about staying here in the UK!)

The Thankful List

Since it is Thanksgiving in America (and I am American for all of those who have lost track of this fact) I think I should probably do the obligatory "List of Things I am Thankful For". We don't have the tradition of reciting what you are thankful for at Thanksgiving dinner at my house. I always think maybe I should instate it at my house, but I'm a bit lazy and people hate being put on the spot when it comes to these things, so I always let it slide. Anyway, here is my list.

1. I am thankful that I have a husband who despite my faults adores me.

2. I am thankful that I have two beautiful little girls who are smart, funny and challenge me daily...whether I am up for the challenge or not that day.

3. I am thankful for the amazing friends I have. I am thankful that our friendships are two way streets and not one sided. I am thankful that I can depend on them and that I know they will always be my family away from family.

4. I am thankful for my family back in the USA. I know that they are always behind me 100% even if they don't always agree with my decisions.

5. I am thankful for my mom, who is amazingly funny and has always been the first person to put herself in my corner.

6. I am thankful for my dad who has always encouraged me to challenge myself.

7. I am thankful for my granny. She and I can talk for hours about anything and even though we may not always agree, I know she won't judge me.

8. I am thankful for living abroad in England. This experience has challenged me and made me grow up and find myself.

9. I am thankful that life isn't always easy. As much as I would love to sail through life without a care or worry, I have come to realize that you don't know how good life is until you have adversity to deal with.

10. I am thankful for chocolate and wine. Do I really need to explain this?

Instead of asking my guests around the Thanksgiving table what they are thankful for, I'm gonna ask you, my readers, what are you thankful for?

The Holiday Rush

I have outdone myself this time. I am having roughly 19 people (a mix of Americans and Brits) at my house tomorrow for Thanksgiving (assuming everyone shows up) and have I got anything prepared. Nope. My house is a slight bomb site. I have the food, but none is prepped. Thankfully I am not doing the turkey or the ham (yes we are doing a ham too) so there is that small reprieve. So today is all about cleaning and prepping.

Ahhhh the holidays. This is my favorite time of the year but I have found that they aren't nearly as fun as when I was a kid. It seems like they just sneak up on me and the amount of stress they generate is astronomical. Not to mention that I am in the UK, which I love, but since Thanksgiving isn't a British holiday there are already Christmas ads on the TV. So, it is a weird mix of Thanksgiving and Christmas at the same time at my house. I already have pulled out some of my Christmas decorations but the weather and my calendar are shouting Thanksgiving. I should come up with a word for this time of the year.

Thanksmas?

Happy Thanksmas Everyone!!

Brace Yourselves...

Now that I have told all my family, I can let the genie out of the bottle. The Man has put in the paperwork to stay in the UK for three more years on top of the year left that we have here. That means that if the paperwork gets approved, we will have four more years here in the UK.

I am so incredibly excited. Of course I am still a bit nervous because it could all be dashed by a man with a pencil in an office and the word denied, but I am trying not to dwell on this. The Man seems to think that it would be highly unlikely that the extension request would be denied. He's usually right, so I am taking his word for it.

Now, it is time to make plans. I have informed my landlady that we are likely to stay, so the house is sorted. We will have to get new visas at some point. I can finally hang some of the pictures that I had neglected to hang because "well, we're leaving in a year anyway". I can get really excited about things at the kid's school because they will actually have a long lasting effect on my kids. I can retool the list of places we need to see before we leave because we are going to have more time. So much to do, plenty of time to do it.

It feels so odd to know we have time. You can start your happy dances now.

Decision Time

We have a year left in the UK. It is now decision time. Do we want to stay longer or do we want to go back to the USA? I am pretty much firmly in the camp of I want to stay. I know this might be hard for my family back in the USA to understand, but I love it here. I honestly love the UK. I love my friends here. I love my life here. I love my children's school. I love my children's friends. I love the culture. I love being able to see things I would never ever have the chance to see if we lived anywhere else.

When I think about leaving I get choked up and a bit teary. I just can't even force myself to imagine not living here. This is in complete contrast to when I was leaving the USA for Britain. When we found out that we were moving here I was excited. I couldn't wait for the adventure. Yes, the adventure has had it's ups and downs, but I am not ready for the adventure to end. I couldn't wait to get out of the USA, not because I don't love my country, but because I wanted my kids to experience the world.

So, now, with my husband on the fence about staying, I am trying to pull out all the stops to convince him that we need to stay. Yes, this hasn't been the best assignment for him personally; he has been away from the UK more than he has actually been here. However, he has seen places that he wouldn't have otherwise. There aren't many Americans who can say that they have been to Romania, Sweden, Italy, Germany, Belgium, France, Afghanistan and Korea in the last three years (unless they are military members). He don't have many friends here and less ties to the community. He misses his family back in the USA, which I do too, but I guess I always think "We could be stationed in California and still be half the world away."

I want to stay, but the decision is ultimately up to him. And I hate that.

Houston, We Have A Ginormous Problem

You guys do realize that I can't do anything the easy way and something always goes wrong, right? There is never any sort of smooth and easy sailing in the world of Kat. We always have to do something the hard way, and since it was so easy for me to catch the Space A flight to the USA, Murphy's Law decided to kick me in the butt HARD at the end of my holiday.

I got an email from my husband this morning that he was returning to the UK early because he has a hernia and needs surgery. Yay he's coming home! Wait, I am in the USA!!! CRAP. So, I called him and found out the details, which are there are no details yet. He doesn't even know when he is flying home yet, but he knows it will be really soon. So basically I need to get home as soon as possible.

I am working on getting a flight out of Charleston to Germany, because they don't fly into the UK very often from here. I am just afraid that I am going to get stuck in Germany. I have started looking into Ryanair flights and Easy Jet flights just in case the Space A flights from Germany don't pan out. I have a really good support system in the UK just in case he beats me home. I am just trying to trouble shoot and put out the fires as they spring up. I am also trying to get all the laundry done, souvenirs packed and children entertained; whilst simultaneously repeatedly checking the Air Force Base flight schedule and trying not to freak the freak out. Right now though, I really just want to run screaming down the street pulling my hair out.

I knew this holiday was going entirely too smoothly, well other than that pesky tetanus shot...

That was totally worth it though.

The Royal Wedding

I wasn't planning on doing a post about the royal wedding. Yes, I will probably watch it, from home. I have a couple of friends who are going to brave their way down to central London for the event. Can you tell that they are some of my American friends? My English friends wouldn't be caught dead schlepping down to London for the Royal Wedding. I have even heard some of my English friends comment that they won't be watching it on TV. Four day weekend. They will probably be stuck in a queue on the motorway instead. This seems to be the time honored way to spend any holiday in England.

I decided that yes, I will watch the wedding. I will probably also encourage my kids to watch. It isn't because I am a royalist. I am just an American who never in a million years thought that she would be living in England for an event like this. It is kind of cool to me. Though, it isn't cool enough to go down to London.

Is It Really Worth It?

My country, the USA, is founded on the principle of freedom. However, with freedom comes responsibility. You have freedom of speech. You can't falsely shout fire in a crowded theater for example (isn't that always the example!). To me, this "pastor" of this "church" down in Florida is doing exactly that by burning the Quran. How is that you ask?

Think of it like this. Afghanistan is the theater. The aflame Quran is the alleged fire. The people attacking our Soldiers, Airman, Marines is the aftermath. It will be a chain reaction, mark my words.

The people of Afghanistan, or the entire Islamic world, will not see this as an act by one wackadoodle pastor in Florida. They will see this as an act done by the entire United States against their religion. The people of these countries, more often than not, do not have access to the Internet. They cannot see the descent from the everyday Americans who think that this act is a horrible idea. They only hear from others, as gossip, that an American burned their holiest book. An act in their eyes that is worthy of waging war against Americans and American allies.

While I am just one voice, I am one voice saying "Stop this! Do not let this person do this to our troops! Do not let him corrupt Christianity! Do not let him corrupt America! Do not let him speak for America with his idiotic actions!" Freedom of speech has it's limits, this should be one of them. Killing troops knowingly by your actions is not covered in my book.

To you, Terry Jones, "pastor" of Dove World Outreach Center,

How dare you! How dare you put our troops at even more risk with your quest to sell more books. How dare you! Please, feel free to go to the front lines so that my friends who defend your freedom to "preach" this bull shit can come home.