Will Miss #424 - language school advertisements

Shane? He's a little on the quiet side, and he keeps a big knife under his pillow, but I'm sure he's really a stand-up guy. 

All advertising is misleading and an attempt to use your psychological tendencies against you. If you're an insider at a business or have a lot of experience with it, the ways in which ads attempt to manipulate potential customers is far more transparent. Language school ads always pique my interest and often tickle my fancy (no pervy conclusions, please) because I've worked in this game long enough to know what's what. For one thing, they always show professionally dressed, young, attractive foreign people who look fresh and happy. Real English teachers tend to look bedraggled from spending long hours attempting to draw a few bloody words from conversational stones. The men wear their ties askew and rarely wear suit jackets because most Japanese office ladies freeze at temperatures below boiling. The teachers in the ads never resemble the real workers and I know from experience that the "students" in most ads are the most attractive office workers the company can locate. If the school is particularly wealthy, they may be actual models, but they are never real students. Finally, there are the goofy English slogans that ads sometimes come up with in order to distinguish themselves or create a hook. It's always something that makes me feel a Japanese person came up with it and insisted that it fly despite the protestations of any foreigners who had input into the ad planning process (in the rare case of a foreigner having input).

I'll miss seeing ads for English schools, their silly slogans, and their fictitious presentation of the teachers and students. 

Will Miss #258 - language schools (the good)

A Geos poster, implying that you'll be in one big happy family with foreigners and Japanese alike if you attend their school. Of course, it's too late now since Geos folded.

While there are problems with working at language schools (related mainly to cultural differences and working expectations), the experience carries some unique benefits. The main one is that it is often an ideal environment for newcomers to Japan. You work with a variety of other foreigners with varying levels of experience in Japan. They not only share their knowledge and strategies for getting things done here in a way that fast forwards you through the process of settling in to life in Japan (with all of the complex rules and logistical differences), but they form an instant support network and social group for weathering culture shock. My early days in Japan were spent working at the now defunct Nova conversation school. I made some friends, some very good ones, who helped me cope with the plethora of things I needed to learn. I remember those people well despite the relatively brief time I spent at Nova.

I'll miss the social atmosphere and learning experience of working at language schools.

Won't Miss #258 - language schools (the bad)

An ad for "Geos" language school (eikaiwa) using Disney's "Shrek". Even though the school went out of business, these posters are still up all over Tokyo. Given the cash they must have invested to use these images, it's no wonder the company went down the drain.

One of the things that foreigners learn rather quickly after being engaged at a language school is that the experience is not what they might expect. More often than not, the teaching materials are lacking, training is inadequate to prepare you for the job ahead, and you are lied to about the conditions of your employment. The bulk of the lies relate to working hours. You're often expected to prep on your own time, for example, or teach on your day off without extra pay. If you insist on following the terms of your contract by, oh, say, leaving on time at the end of the day, you are looked at askance by the Japanese employees and seen as a lazy worker. If you continue to insist on keeping the hours as they were outlined to you, you may find yourself treated coldly.

I won't miss the way in which language schools bait and switch the working conditions on employees and therefore can never be trusted.