Not to Be

I've started this post a couple times but then thought better of it. But, as this is my blog, what the hell.

I'll start by saying that God has an interesting sense of humor. The Boy has been praying during his evening prayers for a brother or sister for months. We've told him that it wasn't happening. Then we went on vacation to Belize.
Well, you all know that we had a wonderful time in Belize. It was the first vacation my husband and I have been on together in 7 years. Add to that the fact that we don't see much of eachother. So, all together we had 7 days of together time. That 7 days was wonderful. And it must have been wonderful as I ended up pregnant!

Yep. I brought home a passenger from Belize. Only a few people have known as I began to experience problems right away. I've been in and out of doctor's offices for the past three weeks. I gave blood on 7 occassions and I had two ultrasounds. Talk about feeling violated.

On Friday, I began to miscarry. I'm told I will continue to have symptoms into the week.

To be honest, I am not that upset. I'm a little disappointed as I'd really gotten into the idea once the shock wore off. But I'm not emotionally distraught or upset. I don't even think I cried. I've been hormonal, as my body readjusts, but I'm not upset. Much of that is because it was so early (no heartbeat even) and some of that is that I'm just not an emotionally fragile gal. I have empathy when it comes to my friends and family, but not a whole lot of emotion when it comes to myself. Plus, and this is a big plus, I have the benefit of having a couple wonderful and beautiful women in my corner who help take the sting out and they know who they are.

I was worried my hubby would be more disappointed than I as he was truely excited. He was ok too. He was worried about me but ok. And, once he physically could see that I was ok, he said, with that broad smile only he can muster - "Think of the fun we'll have trying again." I laughed as he swaggered off.

Trying again. I hadn't thought of that either. See, the Boy is 5. We really didn't anticipate any more kids. But the thought of it was so much fun. So, we may indeed try again. The dilemma is picking which exotic locale to - um - visit. *snicker*

So, excuse me while I go do some vacation research . . . *skips away merrily*

Happy Birthday Grandma!

Today is my Grandma's 83rd birthday. She is my only granny. My staunchest supporter.

She is a very healthy 83 and we have plans to tour Scotland and Ireland together next year. The Caucasian half of me is 1/4 Scots-Irish and 1/4 Polish.

This summer we are going on a couple train trips and many luncheons and shopping trips!

Everyone loves Grandma. Especially my little guy. So, we thought of what great thing we could do for her today. Grandma loves trout - so the boys went fishing yesterday morning and caught four fresh trout. Those trout will be stuffed with crab and grilled and served with fresh grilled veggies and an angel food cake covered in whipped creme and fresh berries. I can't think of a better way to say I love you than a good meal.

Speaking of good meals, this morning for breakfast or "breakdist" as my baby says - we had fried potatoes, eggs and bacon in a tortilla. Yum! My son loves "breakdist burritos!"

So, I'm off to finish a brief and then to begin cooking for Grandma. it isn't everyone who has the good fortune of living to 83 and healthy.

Here's to Grandma - Happy Birthday and I love you!

Etiquette

So, I have some pretty good friends who have a 19 year old daughter who is getting married in a few weeks. We were invited to the shower. She registered for some interesting things - including camping gear - you know - oh so practical if you are getting married. I got her kitchen stuff and a cookbook. I spent about $50.00.

Now, yesterday, we received our invite to the wedding - except - we aren't. That is to say, we are not invited to the wedding. We are invited to the reception (consisting of hot dogs, hamburgers and some side salads - ala graduation party), but not the wedding. Now, my question for you much more cultured folks is this: Do I have to buy another gift? I mean seriously, hot dogs and hamburgers and we aren't even invited to the wedding?

I've spent $50.00 and she barely glanced at my gift while opening it. She sorta shunted it to a lackey, read the card - visibly checked for money or a gift card and off my gift went to another room. Do I need to buy another gift?

Here is the kicker, I feel really terrible, but I don't think this marriage is going to last long for a few reasons:

1. She is 19.
2. She has never been away from home and is moving 4 hours away.
3. She has never cooked anything for herself - ever.
4. She has never been in a relationship that lasted more than 6 months - except this one which will reach 6 months about the time of the marriage.

I hope I'm wrong, but it doesn't bode well. But seriously, am I obligated to get another gift when the return is a hot dog at a reception where she will have already changed from her gown into jeans? What would you do?

Hey Obama

Remember me? I'm one of those small town Pennsylvanians - you know - the bitter ones?

I live in a Pa town of about 497 people. Small enough for you? The surrounding Township has another 500 or so people. Most of us, me included, have carry permits and mini-arsenals at home. Many of us attend church services weekly or at least as often as we are able. A lot of us are anti-illegal immigration, but not for the reasons you suggest.

We don't cling to guns or religion or anti-illegal immigration because we are bitter about job losses. Sure, some are bitter about the dearth of jobs in Western PA, but that bitterness isn't what causes us to cling to guns or religion or anything else. No, if bitterness comes into the equation at all it is because the government, people like Clinton, Obama, Pelosi, and their ilk are constantly suggesting that our guns are bad or religion doesn't have its place in a free society or that we should turn a blind eye to illegal immigration because they have.

Small town Pennsylvanians like many Americans are bitter that the government, and Dems in particular, are continuously chipping away at our freedoms. "No you can't have that handgun because you could get hurt" or "You don't have a say because you are Christian and Christians are bad" or "Your law abiding, self sufficient relative can't come live here in the U.S. lawfully because so many live here unlawfully." Here is my bitterness.

My bitterness is aimed at Dems and at the government who thinks it is ok to tell me how to raise my child, how to discipline my child, how to hunt, fish, work, drive, when to see a doctor, who I can sell my property to, how many guns I can buy, when I can buy guns or to whom I can sell them, to which school I should send my kid - or that is ok to tell me that once I do send my kid to school, I don't have a say in who teaches him, that teachers here making 70,000 a year can go on strike so they don't have to spend 10 a month for insurance. I can go on. Oh, and there is more. I'm bitter because my aunt who wanted to live here lawfully, was told it would take 10-12 years - she is 63. She doesn't have 10-12 years to wait. But my taxes pay for illegals seeking medical treatment and going to public schools.

I'm bitter because I don't have a say. I'm bitter because the choice for President is two communists and a communist disguised as an idiot. I'm bitter because I hear asshats telling me we are fighting a war for oil but I just paid $3.40/gallon for my gas. I'm bitter because my religion is constantly excoriated while I have to pay lip service to muslims because it is PC.

I'm bitter because no matter how hard I work, how long I work, how much I make, nearly 40% of my pay goes to some government in taxes. Yep! 40%. I did the math. Local taxes, State taxes, property taxes, school taxes, Federal Taxes, medicare, social security and that doesn't include the sales taxes I pay, which likely bring the percentage up even more. I'm bitter because I am the so called rich that the Dems are always bitching about. Yet this weekend I couldn't afford to buy a gallon of milk except on a credit card.

I'm bitter because I'm looking at the prospect of universal healthcare. You know, the kind in Europe? The kind where if you have an elective surgery scheduled, you will never get it done. The kind where if you have a history of mental illness or depression in your background the government can take your child from you? The kind where you stand in line for any doctor because the good doctors have left for better opportunities.

I'm bitter because jack-off Messiah wannabes are telling me that I am bitter. Do you know why there are no jobs in Western PA? Because we sold them to the chinese, or the mexicans. It is cheaper to make the same goods elsewhere so the plants left. Steel mills throughout Western PA shut down because the unions wouldn't bend and it was cheaper to do it elsewhere. It wasn't the government it was the unions. It wasn't the government, it was American's willingness to buy a cheaper product made in another country.

I am bitter because Obama can spout racist and bigotted statements or can disassociate himself from his racist and bigotted pastor without anyone calling him to the carpet. I am bitter because I am a forgotten minority. The Hapa, the half and half. I'm supposed to be thrilled that half and half is running for president, instead I'm sickened.

I am bitter.

But listen to this B. Hussein Obama - I will go from bitter to enraged if you take my right to my gun from me. I will go from bitter to enraged if you strike out at my religion. I will go from bitter to enraged if you force an illegal immigrant upon me.

I won't vote for you because you pointed out that indeed I am bitter. I won't vote for you because you are a communist. You are a bigot. You are a wolf in sheeps clothing. I won't vote for you - not in spite of being bitter - but because I am!

Golf

I have been taking golf lessons - gratis - as in on my firm.

I am enjoying myself and it is quite the exercise for the rather sedentary person that I am.

But, yesterday? I think I over did the exercise. I hurt, everywhere. It has caused another issue too but nothing serious.

But who knew? Golf is strenuous!

The Outrage!

Let me just say that the outrage over the protests leading up to China hosting the Olympics is appalling.

How dare any citizen of a free society think that it is out of place for protests in the name of freedom for Tibet or Burma to lead the charge to the upcoming Olympics. We accept protests against or for the war. We accept protests against the Global summit, we accept protests against Americans in foreign countries. We don't like it, but we don't have hired thugs beating down the protesters either. - wait, I think that is great idea for anti-war protesters . . . Sorry, got off track . . .

Growing up the Olympics have always represented something good, almost pure in competition and in unity. Sure there are always issues, but the games are a good thing.

What is not a good thing is that these pure and good games are being hosted in a communist country who violently oppresses Tibetans, Burmese and any dissidents. By choosing China to host the Olympics, the Olympic committee and any of its supporters have turned a blind eye to blatant human rights violations by China.

Now, that said, all of you know I am not a radical, liberal or touchy feely hippie. But my family has felt the wrath of human rights violations at the hands of communists.

So, I support Tibet. I support Burma. I support free speech. I support the need and desire to live in a free country. I will not watch a second of the "pre-taped" edited so that they comply with Chinese dictate, communist games. Sorry to all those wonderful athletes. Good luck.

Phishing

My personal email address got phished!

You know where some other company takes your email over and sends a spam to everyone on your contacts? Well, that happened to me.

Weird too. I usually don't have any issues with that except with my work email - go figure.

I'm pissed.

The List

When I was a teen I created a list, well, it was a living list that changed as I got older - Things to Do Before I Die or more appropriately, things to do before I'm too old to do them.

As the years have gone by I have had the good fortune to tick certain things off my list:

Visit South Korea
Yellowstone
Mt. Rushmore
Niagra Falls
Paradise

Climb a glacier
Swim in a river
Hike the Tetons
snorkle the Carribean
Visit ancient ruins

See a grisley bear, moose, elk, mountain sheep in the wild - see a moutain lion (a dead one) in the wild

Dance in the moonlight with the man I love
Have a baby
Train a horse
Chase a tornado
Pass the Bar
Sing in a rock band (one gig - I sucked)
Become a firefighter
Dance on Broadway (everytime I visit New York)
Play football with pros (Philadelphia Eagles Charity touch football game)

Go to a Nascar Race
Meet my Korean family
Meet Edward James Olmos (don't ask)
Make some lifelong friends - You know who you are ladies!
Go to an Ivy League University

I've been fortunate. These are but a few things from my list that have been attempted and completed. There are others. So, this year I've made it my mission to tick off at least two or three more from the following list:

visit Alaska
visit California
visit Disney World
visit Australia
visit Oregon
visit South America
visit Finland

Fish for Walleye in Lake Erie
Go White Water rafting
Kill a big buck
Learn to golf

Have another child
buy a boat
build a spa
climb another mountain

Tap and boil maple syrup in Vermont (next year for sure)
Take my son surfing and dogsledding
Build a wooden canoe

Build a tree house
Fish for Salmon
Watch a shuttle launch
Compete on Jeopardy or Cash Cab
Learn to fly a plane
Skydive
First chair and win a Jury Trial
Get a hobby

Anyway, this isn't the whole list, the whole list would make many of you laugh, both those things I have ticked off and those yet to complete. Can you guess which two I've decided to do this year from the above list? Do you have any suggestions for what I should do?

P.S. no cheating!

Conversations with Mom

Last night I called my mom to chat. She is an American Idol fan and i thought I would ask her which contestent she liked. Here was the conversation:

Me: Hi Mom! How have you been?
Her: Everything's peach.
Me: You mean peachy?
Her: That's what I said! Everything's peach.

Me: Oh. Good to hear!
Her: Damn fly!
Me: What?
Her: I hang up now, must kill fly! *click*

And that, my friend, is a conversation with mom.

Yum

The hubby must have been channeling Belize last night. I arrived home from work at the standard 7:20 p.m. and he had made dinner.

On the menu?

Jerk Chicken and Shrimp
Red Beans and Rice
Coleslaw (with a hint of citrus)
Pinapple sponge cake with toasted coconut and fresh pinapple and mango.

Can you say yum? Can you say thank heavens the man's a chef?

He loves me, what can I say?