Patterings: Authentically Me

Showing posts with label Authentically Me. Show all posts

It's Not Just Saving

"You can have it if you'll use it."

That's a phrase I find myself saying sometimes--probably because it's been said to me several times. It's a phrase that is relevant to my life.

What's the good in having something if you don't use it?

Exactly. It's not much good at all.

When I was a kid in Ecuador, American candy was an extreme treat. Any time I had some, I kept it in a cute tin my older sister gave me (which I still have--does that tell you anything about me?). I loved it when the tin was full. I would open it, poke through the candy then close it and hide it away again. Rarely did I eat any of the yummies.

I didn't just keep the candy, I hoarded it.

After a long time I decided to eat the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup that was hidden in there, along with a candy cane and several other tasty tidbits.

The peanut butter cup was awful. It was dry and had a funny taste to it. Hoarding it had ruined it. If I had just nibbled away at it--a little bite here and a little bite there, I would've been able to enjoy it, and enjoy it for a long time. But I didn't and it was ruined.

That's a lesson I've had to relearn many times in my life--including just recently.

Over the years I've come to love snapping pictures, and I've taken lots of them. But all too often they sit on my computer or phone, doing nothing but taking up space. In the past couple of months I've gotten involved on Instagram and I have to admit to loving it. It's a place to do something with some of my pictures. A place to share them for no other reason than that they make me smile or I found them interesting.

But Instagram is all about the insta. I still have all the pictures I take with my camera which, in my experience, are not insta. I can't click and post while exploring the creek or standing in line at the grocery store--both of which I tend to do.

So, I've decided to apply what I've learned.

No more hoarding pictures. That means if I have a picture I want to share just because it makes me smile, then I'm gonna post it. Here. On my blog. Even if it's not a real good picture. Even if I have no words to go with it because after all, a picture is worth a thousand words.

So tell me, are you hoarding something in your life?

Choosing 2014

I have to admit, it doesn’t bother me at all that 2013 has finally come to an end. It’s actually a bit of a relief. In my forty-some years (I don't mind you knowing how old I am, but I don’t feel like doing the math to figure it out!), 2013 has been my hardest year in almost every area of my life.

Yes, I’m glad 2013 is done and gone.
But I’ve not been ready for 2014 either. I mean, I’m a little older and a little wiser now and look at all the potential for hard work and heartbreak it holds! This is the first time I’m not excited about the new year. And I don’t like it. Not one little bit. Normally, I’m excited and dying to get going, but not this year.

I spent the better part of two or three days trying to figure out why. It’s just not like me. Thankfully, I discovered what’s going on.

Worry.
And I’m not usually a worrier. At least not when it comes to this stuff. I love looking forward. I love dreaming. I love planning. I love seeing the potential.

But this time I was focused on the wrong stuff. I was tuned in to all that could go wrong.

I know better.

Focusing on the wrong thing will land you (ME!) in the wrong place. And it did.

I’m in the wrong place. Proof that my focus has been all wrong.

Usually by now I’ve looked back at the previous year, sorted and sifted through things, and have looked forward and set some goals for the upcoming year. I haven’t this year and it’s time to get my butt in gear.

It’s time to make a choice. Stay in this mud hole I’ve gotten comfy in, or drag myself out of it and move forward.

I choose to move forward.
I choose to turn my focus away from the stinking black hole I’ve been staring at.
I choose to focus on God.
I choose to obey and take the steps God has for me.
I choose to leave the outcome to God—regardless of how difficult that outcome may be.

This year will be another year of change for us. Last year brought huge, unexpected changes. Some of the changes are cool and are a natural extension of things already going on. Other changes, though, I still wrestle with at times. But throughout the changes to come, I’m resolved to choose to keep my focus on God, trusting Him to work all things together for good.

This I know, God is faithful. He will keep His promises. He will never, ever leave me.

The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I have hope in Him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him. Lamentaions 3:22-25

God’s compassion is new every morning, and every year.
Let’s choose to move forward in 2014, trusting the outcome to God, knowing He is faithful.

Moving Forward

This is a truth I've been living this week. It's not over yet but the end is in sight.

For months I've been ready and wanting to fold and walk. I didn't understand it. I saw no reason for it and it made me feel foolish and very ungrateful for all God has done for me. A friend asked me a simple question and that led to all kinds of emotions, the least of which were wanting to walk away from it all.

It made me realize what might possibly be at the root of those feelings.

I'm so tired of it all. Just this last weekend, before all this...erupted... I told my near-and-dears that I was sick of all this, of being a chicken. So when I saw what might be the root cause, after almost throwing up (seriously) I turned and went back the way I came.

Peace trickled in after I took action and applied an axe to those roots.

It's good to be moving forward again, even if going back the way I came was painful and is...unpleasant. It's comforting and encouraging to know I have an anchor that holds when the storms kick up.

I have a Friend Who holds my hand.

So tell me, are you moving forward or do you need to turn and go back the way you came?

Me, Aligned and Available

Having a persona has made it so I could align my internal life and my online person (which are a close fit) with who people see in person—IF I’ve stepped into character.

A while back my husband and I were out on a date and we stopped by the dance hall where our two oldest were working. Are you gasping yet? I still do! LoL. But it’s an alcohol-free, smokeless, family environment country ballroom dance hall where grandparents often bring their grandkids—but I’m a missionary kid and dancing was taboo, and dance halls weren’t even mentioned. It all added up to massive overload and it caught me unprepared.

Shortly after arriving at the dance hall we were pulled out of the kitchen, where the kids were, to the corner of the dance floor by our outgoing hosts (who love my kids) so they could teach us a simple dance. Everyone there decided to watch, much to my horror. I made it through the dance steps, moved to the side and TOTALLY shut down emotionally. If someone had touched me I would’ve shattered.

It was bad.

Afterward, on the way home I fell apart, but as I thought and cried, I knew exactly what happened and how to fix it. Any time I find myself in a similar situation, I need to step into character and let Peejers handle things.

I’ve used my persona to teach a children's class at church, lead a womens’ Bible study, reach out to people, and teach at a small writing conference. All things I couldn’t do before because I didn’t have a persona readily available. I couldn't even join in the Sunday School discussion without almost passing out due to the thundering my heart was doing. It’s still a struggle for me and sometimes leaves me exhausted, but I know I CAN do this and I no longer have to be trapped inside, wishing for a keyboard to communicate.

Yes, I’m a certified wall flower, but at least now I can step into character when I need to. It’s been like I was given a pass to an amusement park I had only peeked through the fence at, wishing I could enter. A place I can go now when I want, or need, to.

Photo courtesy of FanPop

Remember

people want you to do well.
We are not called to success. We are called to obedience. God's job is to take care of the rest.
"If God is in it, God will do it." This takes the pressure off me and frees me to be me and present what I believe God is doing, with my emphasis on Him and not myself. ~Jen Slattery
Have smile, will travel.
Smile and wave, girls, smile and wave.
It's not about me but others and helping them.

On a Gaither program, someone asked Linda Randle. "How did you get with the Gaithers? How did you get established in gospel music?"

She said, "You get with God and God will hook you up where He wants you to be." She said she doesn't care if she is considered the best southern gospel singer but now she just cares if she things she is centered in God's will, whatever that is.

I believe it was Terry Burns who said...
It's not that we're pretending to be something we aren't. We're projecting what it would look like if we bring out the more outgoing side of our nature.

So tell me, what does the more outgoing side of you look like?

Stepping In to Me

Once you have your persona and have your appearance supporting your behavior, then it's time to figure out how to step into this persona so you can utilize it.

Here's a few things I do...

Posture-- Now that I've practiced a lot, sometimes it's as simple as straightening my back. Good posture is something that I've incorporated into my persona so when I need to tap into that personal resource (my persona) I can stand up straight or even sit up straight and lean forward a bit. Even if I'm sitting Indian style in a big chair, teaching Bible study (LoL, my preferred way to teach in that particular setting), I've found I do better if I'm sitting up straight.
Clothes--I dress in the outfits I've carefully chosen for when I'm in my persona. Outfits that I feel confident in and that I know look good on me. Terry Burns is well known for his cowboy hat. It's part of his persona and very effective.
My hands--it used to be I never knew what to do with them. They just kinda hung around making me self-conscience of them. Now I know I can loosely fold them in front of me and it's become a trigger, helping me step into the persona I created. You did notice the term loosely, right? I'm not talking about white knuckling it, just a comfortable, calming, folding of the hands--and yes, it is very calming. Try it sometime when your nerves are acting like Mexican Jumping Beans.

But here's my personal biggest secret...

Power Accessories
Seriously.
These are things that help put you in persona or are confidence boosters. They'll be different things for different people, some visible to others, some not visible.

For me, I have a special rock that is a physical reminder of all God has done for me. It's in my pocket almost all the time, and has been for years. (Yes, Jo, I found my rock!) God's got me this far and won't leave me now. I have His promise on that.

Another power accessory for me is a bracelet. I have a couple favorites that I choose from, and then I have the "big guns" of bracelets. It's one that belonged to my great-aunt that my sister gave me. I wear that one when I'm really nervous and need the extra boost.

So what about you?
Do you have a persona for when you need one?

Here's a crucial point you MUST remember:

If we genuinely believe we can do something, it takes us a long way toward accomplishing it.

And the reverse of that is also true. If you believe you can't, then you won't.

Fully believe you CAN do this.

Envision your persona teaching or speaking in public or working a crowd.

How will she smile? What will her hands be doing? How will she emphasize a point?
Mentally work through situations, repeatedly.
Act them out alone.
Try them out on small groups or friends.

Here's a wonderful piece of wisdom from one of my blog students, Kate Hinke. A quote from Christopher Robin while speaking to Winnie the Pooh...

For more posts in the Authentically Me series about persona...

Faux Pa-tty
Stepping up to Me
Where Did She Come From?
A Blueprint for Me
Building Me

Next week... Me, Aligned & Available.

Building Me

Click for more posts in this series

After I pulled Peej out of hiding and meshed her with Patty and mixed in a healthy blend of other character traits I wanted to develop, I examined the external me.

Some people don't have to worry about the external because they don't have trouble with fashion or have kept up with it for their job, but that wasn't the case for me. I was making big changes in how I presented myself and that meant big changes in the clothes I wore when I would be in front of people, or even possibly in front of people.

Now, I'm not into fashion and never have been. I'm a certified jeans and sweatshirt girl, but those aren't suitable for all situations. So I needed to regroup and recalibrate.

Years ago, when I was a freshman at Moody Bible Institute, Mom invited a lady over to do a color analysis on the four of us girls. Thankfully, through the years I had been true to my colors, giving me a base to start with. Keeping what I already had in mind, I went shopping.

Oh, don't tune out if you're on a shoe-string budget. I was and still am. My stores of choice: Salvation Army and Goodwill. Really. Several months of regular visits netted me a few tops that were just right for me and a couple skirts that broadened my closet basics, all for $20. Two dollars here, three there...making it doable on our tight budget.

As my collection grew, I removed pieces that weren't good--things that didn't fit right or look good or just made me feel frumpy (after having five children, fit and frumpy were the biggest offenders).

I now have a small collection of tops and outfits that look good on me and make me feel good, too. Any time I know I'll need the extra confidence, I pull out one of those.

Why did I go through all that when I'm not into fashion?

What you wear changes how others look at you, which in turns bolsters how you view yourself. It builds your confidence and can even become part of your brand.

For those of us not into fashion...

Wardrobe – outfits

There is info out there to help, based on body type and coloring.
Ask a sharp dresser or fashion savvy lady.
What colors, styles or outfits garner compliments when you wear them?

Hair and make-up

When it's time for your haircut, ask what might look good on you. Often those ladies have some good ideas, especially if it's someone you've been going to for awhile.
Need make up help? Try a make-up counter at one of the nicer stores in the mall. Some offer make-overs as promos to sell their merchandise. (Plan on buying something from them if you do.)
Ask an older teen. In my church there are several girls who are good with make up, and chances are there are some in your church too. Often they would love a chance to play with make up like that.

Accessories

A couple nice pieces work wonders.
Keep it simple! Otherwise it might distract you.
Earrings Tip: Find a couple pair that you can wear with almost everything. For me, that means a pearl studs, gold hoops and silver hoops. With at least those three I'm good to go for almost everything.
Bracelet Trick: I've talked with women both fashion savvy and...not, and most agree that a bracelet seems to put the finishing touch on an outfit and helps you feel classy. I agree with them.

You want your external appearance

supporting your persona.

Careful attention to both internal and external detail will help you present a persona that is comfortable for you and that helps you accomplish your purpose.

So tell me, of all the fashion secrets out there, what has helped you the most?

More posts in this series:
Faux Pa-tty
Stepping up to Me
Where Did She Come From?
A Blueprint for Me

A Blueprint for Me

Click here for more posts in the Persona series.

Just like you don't want to build a house without plans or a blueprint, you don't want to just create a persona without thoroughly thinking it through. You want a persona that is you and that you're comfortable in.

So, how to create a persona that is authentically you?
Let's do some brainstorming first...

Look for character attributes that you like in other people--people you know personally, acquaintances, or even public personalities. Watch to see how they present those attributes, what they do that lets you see those attributes.

Want an example? Joanne Sher is an encourager. You cannot rub shoulders with her without being encouraged. That's a character trait I like and one I want to include in the persona I step into. So, for years I've been watching Joanne and then I apply that to my life.

Another example is a lady in my church who has a genuine interest in others. When she asks you a question, she listens for the answer and there is no doubt she cares about what you're saying. So I've been watching her. She's a woman who loves to chat, but has mastered the art of listening and I'm trying to apply what I observe in her to my own life.

So, look around yourself for people with character traits you like. Notice how they exhibit these traits.

What do they look like when they're doing the things we admire?
What mannerisms do they use?
What are their facial expressions?
What about their body language?

You want to use role models to help you understand how they do what they do so you can apply it to your life.

By watching others closely and taking note of how they express and demonstrate certain character traits, you are able to 'try it on' yourself and tweak it so it's you.

Now, think about yourself...

Everyone has different sides of themselves. I do not act the same in a formal setting as I do when I'm home with my family, but I'm still the me in both situations.

So, think about who you are at:

work or church (There I'm Patty, a more formal, reserved side of me.)
with close friends (Definitely Peejers with close friends. They see the goofy side of me.)
with family (yikes. Bratty Jo sometimes, but hey, they're used to me after all these years.)
with online friends (Depending on the setting, a combination of Patty and Peejers.)

Mix the two parts together...
By combining these sides of me with what I've observed and learned from careful study of others, I found my persona--one I am totally comfortable in, that is 100% me.

My persona has totally changed my life. I'm still Patty and reserved and I'm still goofy Peejers and Bratty Jo (just ask my sister), but now I'm able to combine them, bring out their strengths and utilize things about me that I didn't have access to before.

So tell me, do you have a blueprint for you?

More posts in this series:
Faux Pa-tty
Stepping up to Me
Where Did She Come From?

Where Did She Come From?

It's true. I'm a bona fide, certified wall-flower. Enough so that many times at church people think I'm aloof or stuck-up. That always makes me cringe because I'm not. I'm usually scared silly, rarely know what to say to people and have been known to make some embarrassing tongue-tangles.

Thankfully, I've not been sentenced to aloofdom. Over the course of time I've learned a few tricks that have changed my life and how people perceive me. This journey started when I finally surrenedered to God and started writing. I found my way to Faithwriters and discovered I needed a screen name to get on the forum boards. Since I was clueless, I looked around. One name I saw several times was itsjoanne. I liked that her screen name was still part of her so I played with my name. That got me to thinking about who I really was. Throughout my life I've been three different people, at least...

3rd grade, wearing my favorite shirt.

Bratty Jo is what close family friends called me when I was just a little girl. For some reason they thought it fit me, but I'm still lost as to why. Hehe.

Peej is who I was as a teen in Ecuador because there was another Patty in the dorm I lived in and it was confusing to have two Pattys. Patty Jo quickly became PJ which, when slurred is Peej. Most of my friends called me Peej and in my mind was synonymous with the more outgoing side of my nature.

High School graduation.

Patty is who I grew up to be. Leaving Peej behind, I settled into Patty, the very quiet, shy woman with five homeschooled kids. It's the only side of me people around here had ever seen, but it wasn't who I was, not really. I knew Peej was still in there, constantly yacking in my ear.

Since that's who I am, I chose impeej (I'm Peej) as my Faithwriter screen name, never guessing the life it would trigger. And it's good I didn't know because the knowledge would have been too much for me. The more comfortable I became on the boards, the more Peej stepped forward and assumed control of my online presence. Once again I became more outgoing, more confident, and less restricted within myself. It was truly freeing.

About then I went to a big convention with my two oldest children. They attended sessions while I was volunteer help and was assigned to work in the “Diamond Lounge”. The place was well named. Everyone wore not just one diamond, but a whole impressive collection of diamonds. There I was, a homeschool mom, in the midst of America's upper crust and I was lost. Some of the other volunteers noticed how lost I was and with their help I made it through that long weekend.

One key thing I learned to do was to pull Peej off the Faithwriter forums and hide behind her. I noticed that as Peej presented herself with a friendly smile and confidence, others responded accordingly and treated me like a helpful peer, despite my lack diamonds. They had no idea I was smiling out of amazement at how well Peej was working for me. As Peej I was able to relax some and interact with people whereas Patty had been in lock-down mode.

Not only did I pull Peej into service, but as I wished my older sister were with me, I realized I could borrow from her. I knew how she acted in these situations. I knew the smile she used and her mannerisms, and because we're so alike I was able to try Cheryl on. From past experience I knew I could pull off acting like Cheryl, after all, I had once convinced our mom I was her, so I set to work and between Peej and Cheryl I was even able to feel somewhat comfortable.

Choosing to try my sister's techniques and to let the Peej side of me take over was a lifesaver and a lesson I've not forgotten.

Stepping Up to Me

Last August, after coming home from the Faithwriters conference where I taught a session on platform and persona, I posted Faux Pa-tty, answering the question "Am I a fake if I step into a persona?". I intended to do a mini series called Authentically Me on the topic, but got distracted. What a surprise. (not) But now I think it's time to pull this idea from the closet.

Two years ago, after taking Terry Burns' class 'Too Shy to Pitch or Promote',

I began building and using my persona and the Authentically Me mini series will cover what I did, how I did it, and the results I've seen.

The Set Up
Shortly after taking Terry's class, I decided that if I wanted a ladies' Bible study to attend I was going to have to speak up and see if there were others interested. There were but no one wanted to teach (hey, we're all busy people and teaching takes far more time than simply attending and participating, so I totally understood). I saw that if I was going to have a study to attend I would need to teach it, so I pulled on my big girl panties and stepped to the plate, armed with what I had learned in Terry's class.

Now you have to understand, contributing a thought to our Sunday School lesson was enough to give me heart palpitations. It wasn't just speaking in front of people I struggled with, it was also being the center of attention. After 15+ years of trying to be invisible, the thought of teaching was enough to make me sick to my stomach. It wasn't knowing the material, it was communicating it. Thankfully, there were only 5 or 6 us and those ladies helped me and taught me sooo much. LoL. Those same ladies are still helping and teaching me things!

I had two choices:

I could continue to hide and miss out on many opportunities and fun things, and grow stagnant
OR, I could face my fear in a safe environment, with ladies I knew who would laugh with me and help me over the rough spots. Ladies who wanted me to succeed and grow and were willing to invest in me as I learned and grew.

Even though it looks like a no-brainer from here, it was a difficult, life changing choice for me because of the fear factor. I chose to teach and dealt with the weekly sick stomach, the fear and nervousness, and the constant feeling of inadequacy. It was the right choice and a choice I'd make again if I needed to.

Authentically Transparent

Authentic is a word that I've run across many times in the last month. It's surprised me how often I've opened my inbox and found it there. People are looking for authenticity. They want the genuine article, not a reproduction. Not a facade. And that seems to be counter-cultural at times.

A way to be authentic is to be transparent—and to be honest, transparency is scarier to me. Maybe because I can visualize transparency so easily. All I need to do is look out my front window and I see transparency in the sheers that cover my window, allowing light to come in and allowing me to see out without the world seeing in. Usually. At night, when the lights are on here in the house, those sheers are transparent. They offer very little protection from people looking in. If I weren't surrounded by cornfields, if I had neighbors, I would have more than sheers on my front windows because

I don't like living in a fish bowl. In fact, I have a huge aversion to life in the fish bowl.

But, greater than my aversion to living in a fish bowl, is my desire to follow hard after God. God has called me to authenticity and transparency, and that path has put me in the fish bowl. Or so it feels. Often I feel like Namaan. You want me to do what, Lord?? Or like Gideon. How can I?

So what am I to do? Paint on a smile and act like everything is always fantastic? No. That wouldn't be obedience.

Monday evening, after an emotionally hard day wrestling the nonsense and naysaying voices in my head, I knew I had to come up with a blog post for the letter N for the a 2 z meme we're doing. It's a responsibility I committed to and skipping a week wasn't an option. I scanned through my picture collection and saw nothing. I brainstormed words that start with N and could only come up with Nothing. I've had some pretty lame a 2 z posts in the 14 weeks we've been doing this, and I really, really wanted a fun, quirky N post. But I honestly had nothing, which only served to add to the naysaying voices in my head.

In my flipping through things, (desperately) looking for ideas, I came across the word 'authentic'. Again.

Authenticity isn't always fun. It isn't always quirky. Sometimes being authentic is admitting you have nothing but nonsense and that you're so busy wrestling, and even overwhelmed by the nonsense that you need help.

It's not the upbeat portrait I wanted to paint to people who stop by. That's when God reminded me of my fish bowl. He also pointed to the sheers across the window of my life, allowing people to see in without seeing all the vivid details.

By allowing God to turn on the light—His light—on Monday night, I allowed others to look through my windows and see my struggle with the nonsense and naysayers in my head. Did they see the cause of the struggle? No. The real issue wasn't what someone said to me that kick-started the wrestling match. The real issue was that it was happening and how I was dealing with it.

It meant admitting I wasn't all I wanted to be. It meant letting people see me when I was down. It meant letting people see me wrestle. Things I'd rather not do.

In being transparent, I found friends who were struggling with similar things. We shared the verses that were helping us, and in that joining of hands, the nonsense was stilled within me and the naysayers quieted.

Namaan's leprosy was healed when he did what God told him to. Gideon's strength against the enemy was God's presence. Guess what? On this side of the struggle, and on this side of the transparency, I still feel like Namaan and Gideon. Healed and strengthened with God's presence.

Thank you, my friends.
As we live transparently and authentically, Christ shines through us.

So tell me, do you think we can live authentically without transparency?

Faux Pa-tty?

Last weekend was the Faithwriters conference and when I say that it was the best one yet for me, I mean it. In years past I was trapped so firmly in my shell that I couldn't enjoy it as much as I wanted to, but this year was different. This year I let the other side of myself out of the cave and I enjoyed being with people—something that is very unusual for me. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love people, it's interacting with people I don't know well that's difficult. In past years, I quickly reached my limit and went into people-overload, turning me into a jittery mass of nerves. This year was different, and I'm so very thankful.

What I learned at conference this year was not about writing, it was about myself and what I can do. I'm still amazed at how God's worked in my life—because it's God in me that's making the difference and helping me grow beyond the limits I set on myself.

Teaching at the conference, in spite of extreme nervousness.

This year I was able to teach two classes at the conference, Clearing the Blog Fog, about the benefits and basics of blogging, and Let it Shine, about platform and persona. The blog class was a re-run from last year and a class I teach online a few times a year (you can find more info about that class here) but the Let it Shine class was all new and was a challenge for me. That class encapsulated much of what I've learned in the past year-and-a-half, and am still learning, about pulling on my persona—much as an actor would on stage.

After that class, Di asked a great question, something that was really bothering her, and I know it bothers other people too. If I have a persona I step into at times, then who is the real Patty? Am I putting on a front and deceiving people? Am I being a fake, a fraud?

No, I'm not. Here's why...
After spending years being a wall-flower I realized that often (but not always) it was fear that was holding me back. I wanted to be involved, I wanted the freedom to talk with people, I wanted the freedom to goof around, but fear kept me in lock-down mode. Other times I just truly loved watching what was going on. I'm a people-watcher at heart and gladly spend hours watching them, so fear was not the only reason for staying on the fringe of things, watching.

Me and Di as we talked about my two sides.

But there's another side to me. An outrageous, goofy, bratty side. Family friends called me Bratty Jo (instead of Patty Jo) when I was younger. In fact, a couple years ago they reminded me that I'm still very much Bratty Jo with my family, and they're right. That side of me is often the peanut gallery and running commentary inside my head as I watch people. That side is more who I was in high school—Peej (which is PJ, slurred into one syllable). So when I needed help stepping out of the fearful, too-quiet Patty I had become, I drew Peej out of the cave and let her step forward.

Just as Peej helps Patty be able to teach (which would be terrifying for Patty) and talk with people, Patty helps Peej by refining her, softening the stupidity Peej often spouts.

The two sides both reside in me—the highly introverted Patty and slightly extroverted Peejers. Combined, they are the real me who lives inside my head and heart. So it's not that I'm being a fraud and that I'm not being true to myself when I step into my persona, it's simply pulling out the more outgoing side of me.

In the upcoming months I'll be posting occasionally about how I built this persona that has helped me become the person I feel God wants me to be—the person who is able to do the things it seems He is calling me to do—things far outside my comfort zone. My reason for these posts is that too many of us are kept from doing what God has for us to do because we feel we could never do those things. From experience I know we can, but often it means a lot of work on our part learning tricks and skills that will help us and free us to be and do what God has called us to do. My goal is to show you what has helped me and worked for me. If you'd like to join me for these posts, won't you follow my feed or better yet, sign up to receive them by email.

So tell me, what are the two sides to your nature?

*Pictures of me taken by Lynda Schab. Thank you, Lynda. LoL, I think.