Hope Rocks Deep Inside Me

I'm getting closer to the fearless girl I used to be!

Hi Everyone~

I'm still on the mend from the surgery. I can already tell the difference it's made on my body. The right side and mid section of my abdomen already feels freer. I had no idea how bound up the adhesions had made me feel.

I see the surgery as a metaphor to my overall healing; physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. The pictures the doc took while exploring my abdomen are icky and uber cool at the same time. All I can say is that the adhesions looked like ropes, or tendons, large rubber bands, spider webs or tentacles that connected parts of my body together that should not be connected.

I'm surprised I'd be this sore and exhausted...major exhaustion. But having this down time has made me realize the surgery to remove these tentacles will set me free. Free from the ropes that bound me to the past, my fears, my trauma that started the PTSD, and every link that's held me to the past is gone. I'm free to make a new future. Write a new story. Go on with my life. Make life better than before the accident. I am FREE!

The doc told Superman and Dylan, my BFF, there was not as many adhesions as he'd expected. He said I had a good looking liver. I don't know whether to blush or throw up.... lol But seriously it means so much to know my liver looks good. What a weight lifted off my mind. Plus, he left my inner squirrel untouched. That squirrel helps my child heart come out and play. I need it as much as I need my heart.

Hope Rocks (click link highlighted) will officially start next Thursday instead of today. I need an extra week to rest and heal. I'll post more details as I feel up to it. I'm hoping for a speedy recovery but I don't want to take on too much, too soon, and relapse. Go ahead and start painting your rocks if you haven't already.

I'd love to hear from you in my comment section while I'm healing. It would be like getting get well cards in my mailbox.

Much love and thanks for all for your prayers!!

Mind Games That Count

Every Christmas has its own set of memories. This year's Christmas, our first together as Mr and Mrs. Man (Superman) was beautiful in every way. It was peaceful, and I needed a heaping bunch of peaceful before my surgery this coming Wednesday. (BTW many of you've been asking the surgery time so you can pray, it's at 9:00 am. I have to be at the hospital at 7:30 am) Thank you in advance for this gift of prayer. You can read in the previous post about the surgery if you need details.

Here are some of the things I'll be thinking about before they knock me out for the surgery or in the next few days if I start thinking about things too much. I do that sometimes. I'm working on being here now. And yes, it's work. As a creative, I tend to be all over the map. Most times that's a good thing but in times like this when the 'what if's' pop in, I have to remember to tell them I'm receiving company.

So here's my happy thought list...

How much I love my family.

Good music.
My son, Jake, played a mini concert
for us on Christmas night.
I'll be hearing those notes
when the nurse asks me to count backward from 100.

Opie Taylor's silly faces. He is my feline Spirit guide.
Cats may actually have wings.
Four-legged angels with whiskers
Living right here on earth.
This is a watercolor and pen painting by Audrey Smart,
a talented artist, and personal friend, you can find here.
I cried when I opened the package
and saw how she captured Opie's goof ball essence perfectly.

Puppy Dog Balls
Yes, I will be giggling and recalling how
this 15 year old dog
can still jump higher than a gazelle,
hides from thunder storms
but wants to eat the mailman...whole.

Then there's the Bad Santa and Mrs. that surely
pinched Jackson... then smiled sweetly for the camera.
Just look at the positions of their pincher hands...

Little boys named Devin that are artists
and gingerbread train makers...

and of course double as Super Heroes.

And other blue eyed, red headed boys about to turn 2...
Could this little Super Hero clown be Emery??
Yes, this will make me smile
and be grateful every time I think about him.

Superman's joyful spirit and strong heart.
He loves me deeply.
See how he's smiling looking at me through his phone camera lens?
That's the iPhone cover I got him for Christmas on the back of it.
~He loved it~
~I love him~

And friends, so dear, I couldn't have made it
through life without...

My view right now...
is heavenly.
I am filled with gratitude,
over flowing
from my big red cup
that I hold like my heart
beating inside my own hands.
My life is full of family and friends'
the kind you want to tell Oprah about
because they're that incredible.

And now we are onto a brand new year. I'm ready. How about you? I'm not making any New Year's resolutions. How about you?

Have a listen to a perfect melody written by Jake. Happy New Year everyone.

Radioactive Girl

Tomorrow morning is my Cat Scan to see what lies beneath......

I'm just grateful it's not my head they're scanning! But all this has me thinking.... I wonder if there's sugar in Milk of Magnesia... I'm having sugahhhhhhhhhhh withdrawals. LOL

Keep me in your thoughts tomorrow. It's not everyday a girl has a certain "glow" about her....