My sister is a Sister.

Today I dropped my sister off at the Missionary Training Center (MTC) in Provo, UT. She will be serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Las Vegas, NV area for the next 18 months (To learn more about what missionaries do, go here). During her service as a female missionary, she will be referred to as "Sister Robinson," rather than "Lindsey."  

All six.

I've talked about them lots of times. We've lived together, celebrated birthdays and holidays, gone to basketball and football games, talked a lot, traveled together, celebrated love, spent time in the sun and snow, and made oodles of memories. 

It was weird when Stefanie bought a house, but it was okay because it was still in Utah. It was weird when Kasidy left for Argentina, but it was okay because we knew she'd be back. Now Kylie is moving to Las Vegas, which is weird to think about, but also exciting. Way to go on being a grown-up and stretching your wings! 

Cory put together a little surprise party for Kylie on Sunday and invited all of her friends. So glad all six of us could be there!! Love when that happens :)

Sushi and football.

On Friday night, we watched the BYU game at home with our friends Brad and Abby. They love sushi like JD does, so we pulled our table into the living room and rolled our own during the game (JD helped me make chicken, carrot, and cabbage wontons because I'm not such a big sushi fan). Luckily, BYU came up with the win due to an exciting fourth quarter finish. Gosh, I love me some college football!

Spontaneous.

Last Friday night, JD and I decided about half an hour before the BYU game started that we wanted to see the cougars play in person. We didn't have tickets to the game and we didn't know anyone with extras. We searched KSL and called a few people with listings, but all the tickets were sold. Despite our lack of tickets, I grabbed our BYU blue apparel and told JD to meet me out by the scooter. We hopped on and zipped over to Provo, hoping we'd find someone to buy tickets from. We circled the stadium, confident we'd find scalpers. After no such luck, we waited awkwardly outside the gate to the stadium. About twenty minutes into the game, we were pretty discouraged and I felt really stupid for encouraging such a spontaneous trip. Then, a security guard walked up to us and asked if we were waiting for tickets. We told her we didn't actually have any and were just hoping someone would come by wanting to sell them. She then pulled two tickets out of her front pocket and offered them to us for free. Wahoo! We made it into the stadium by the start of the second quarter.

It was an absolutely perfect night for football! The weather was wonderful, the company was better, and the cougars came out on top.

I think I like spontaneity.

Family visit: in numbers.

We ate at Cafe Rio twice,

slept three to a bed,

and then squeezed one extra boy in for breakfast,

had adventures with our two families,

(Love you, Skousens!)

stopped six, seven ... maybe eight? times to catch our breath on the way up Y mountain,

spent time with all four siblings at once,

rented two double-tubes at Seven Peaks,

squished five bums on one side of the picnic table,

 and celebrated the Fourth.

Oh man, Texas is twenty-two hours too far away.

 I miss you guys!

Back at BYU.

I'm back at BYU tonight. JD's busy throwing Jeff's bachelor party (he gets married Friday!) and I needed to study for my big test in two days. I've been cramming so much the past few hours and my brain is starting to hurt from thinking too much. I feel so strange being in this library- on this campus really. I still have to pinch myself every few days. . . am I really a college graduate? Where did the time go? I must've missed my life. It feels like only a few weeks ago that I made my dad pull over at the "Welcome to Utah" sign for a picture on our way up to Provo with all my stuff for college.  Just weeks ago, I swear, I was dressing up for dance parties, seeing a counselor about what to do with my life, flirting with boys I didn't like to try and get over ones I really did, carving pumpkins, taking aerobics, spying on the guitar-playing neighbor boys across the street, and dreaming of being an EFY counselor and serving an LDS mission. And then, oh! The glorious summer. Wasn't it just weeks ago? I was serving queso with my favorite girls, staying up late to watch the stars, jumping on the trampoline, receiving flowers, letting my heart learn to love again, soaking in the sun with my sisters, and sharing my faith with someone new. Weeks ago, really, I was moving in with 5 new girls, having roommate basketball wars, discovering a profession that totally intrigued me, fighting my head for what I knew in my heart, going country dancing, dressing up in themes for Halloween, inviting a boy home for Christmas, and accepting a marriage proposal. My life plans changed. I was pushing my emotional and physical limits working with a hard population, planning a wedding, fighting my fears, living with my future in-laws, and preparing to go to the temple. Weeks ago, I was making a promise, using a passport for the first time, painting furniture, seeing a boy in the nude, managing bills, adjusting to having a new family, and cooking meals for two. Oh! how the time has flown! I am back at BYU tonight and my thoughts are skipping and dancing in and out of old memories. The test I take the day after tomorrow is the capstone of my academic growth and learning at this university. I'll get a degree in the mail in the next few days. Hopefully, I'll get a license to practice what I've learned. But more than anything, what I'll take from BYU is a deeper, more powerful understanding of my Savior, a stronger faith in Him, a handful of friends who mean more to me than words can express, a collection of experiences and life lessons to buoy me up in hard times, a strong work ethic, and a profound appreciation for God's hand in my life. My BYU experience didn't turn out exactly how I imagined it, but it was beautiful and wonderful nevertheless. And, tonight, my heart is full.

I've been a little busy.

Sorry I've been a little busy... packing, selling a contract, moving, visiting with my mom, studying for my big test, training for my new job, unpacking. . . oh yeah, and graduating!

See you more next week after I'm finally done with my certification test and can call myself an official recreation therapist!

Word of honor.

I was disappointed to hear the news earlier this week about Brandon Davies being dismissed from the BYU basketball team for an Honor Code violation. I was disappointed as I watched the game against New Mexico

alone in my apartment last night. I am disappointed BYU probably won't end up playing as far as I thought they would in the college tournament this year. Of course, there is a feeling of disappointment among all BYU students and fans right now.

(I love this picture from the AP!)

But there are a few things I'm not disappointed about: I'm not disappointed Davies had the integrity to admit his mistake. I'm not disappointed BYU officials dismissed him from the team. And I'm not disappointed I signed the Honor Code as a freshman and every year after that. That is why I chose BYU. There is a higher standard. It is hard to live a moral life sometimes. But being clean and pure and wholesome feels so good,

even when losing doesn't. At the end of life, it won't matter what games we won, tests we passed,

job opportunities we were given, or titles we received. What will matter is how we lived what we believe. Every time I read these words hanging in the testing center at BYU, I get chills:

"I have been asked what I mean by word of honor. I will tell you.

Place me behind prison walls- walls of stone ever so high, ever so thick,

reaching ever so far into the ground- there is a possibility

that in some way or another I may be able to escape;

but stand me on the floor and draw a chalk line around me

and have me give my word of honor never to cross it.

Can I get out of that circle?

No, never! I'd die first!"

-Karl G. Maeser

Girlfriends.

Even though it stinks JD works on Saturdays til midnight, I'm grateful for the chance to spend time with girlfriends. Last weekend, Cory, Jenessa, and I went to the BYU bball game and I helped them get ready for their Valentine's party.

I like them. They're party people. And I'm glad they're my friends.

ONE.

Thank you sweet girls for learning with me, laughing with me, praying with me, studying with me, researching with me, processing with me, and being my friends. It was such a good last semester :)

Now. . . onto our internships!

Starting in ONE week. EEKS!

Yesterday.

Yesterday I went to my last class as an undergrad at BYU. The very idea of this statement being real gives me goosebumps. I hear classmates all around me hoop-ing and ha-ing about finally being done, or hooray-ing about being so close, or making statements like: "You're so lucky you don't have any semesters left," "I wish I was in your place," and "I'd give anything to be done."

I don't get this. I can't relate.

In the moments over the past week or two when I've been overwhelmed with preparation for finals and finishing the research project I've stressed about all semester, I've just tried to take it all in. I remember a certain day last week... one of those I-can't-stop-to-talk-or-say-hi-to-anyone-because-I-have-so-many-things-on-my-to-do-list-today-that-if-I-get-behind-5minutes-everything-might-fall-to-pieces days...when I was rushing across campus from jazz dance to religion, sweating and panting because I have to change super fast in that 10 minute break and climb the beastly set of stairs up from the lower end of campus, and I just stopped to breathe slowly and specifically thought to myself, "You're going to miss this."

And literally, I'm not joking,

I already do.

Purple nailpolish.

Cory always paints her nails pretty colors. I miss lots of things about living with her, but I particularly miss nail-painting parties. JD just doesn't get it. . . but he did let me buy some pretty purple-y, eh, more lavender-ish nail polish last week at Smith's. My collection now includes 4 shades of pink and. . .purple. Monochromatic, no? The point is my nails have been polished purple for a whole week now and they still make me smile. I'm not too hard to please.

I spent this last weekend training to be a ropes course facilitator and learning how to lead and process group treatments. I was up at CLAS Ropes all day Friday and Saturday, conquering fears, strategizing in group games, building my repertoire of initiative activities, tying knots, belaying classmates up rock walls, eating pizza, enjoying the weather, and loving my life. At a PALS retreat to a ropes course in high school, I remember thinking: "How does one go about doing this for a living? This has got to be the coolest job." Little did I know, a few years down the road, I'd stumble upon a major so perfectly matched for me I'd sometimes have to pinch myself.

Honestly? I have the best teachers- they are men of God who give selflessly to serve others and bring joy to the people they meet. They believe in the power of wholesome recreation and have taught me through their words and actions what it means to live fully and help others find meaning and satisfaction in their existence. The purpose of therapeutic recreation is to improve quality of life. Even if I never get to work as a certified TR specialist, I will be better for the time I've spent at BYU, learning at the feet of inspiring men.

During the closing session of Saturday training, the leader suggested a simple way to find happiness. He told us to note good things that have happened to us, for us, and because of us. Just wanted to jot a few of those things down.

To me: My work schedule got re-arranged and now I get to sleep in on Tuesdays and Thursdays! Yay!

For me: My cute friends from church came over to visit and brought me some yummy sugar cookies last night.

Because of me: I thought it might be helpful to some of my classmates to share our religion notes over a GoogleDoc. I typed up my notes and sent a link, inviting others to add and discuss as they pleased. A few days after I opened the Doc, I overheard a girl in the library chatting with her friend about how overwhelming things were for her and how grateful she was someone had opened a GoogleDoc in her religion class because it was a huge help. Later in the week, I recognized her in the back of the room. Made me feel good :)

Today was a stressful day, but then I looked down and my purple nails were a sweet reminder what a magnificent blessing it is just to be alive.

Sinking in.

I should be researching the correlation between family leisure time and parent-child relationships. I should be defining terms, determining delimitations, and writing an introduction for the research and evaluation project that is going to eat me up this semester. But I'm not... because I can't focus and I'm not in the mood. Instead, I am pondering my life.

When I was a senior in high school, I remember feeling old and mature compared to the freshman students (even though it'd only been a short time since I was one myself!) When I came to college, I remember feeling much more sophisticated than any high school senior. And now? I feel incredibly more developed- emotionally, socially, intellectually, spiritually- than the college freshmen. Today, where I am right now, always seemed so far away.

When I was 11 or 12ish , I was intimidated by older girls at church. They seemed so cool. Drivers. Daters. Make-up wearers. And I thought to myself, "Seventeen will never come." Then high school came and I met more girls whose lives seemed interesting and exciting, girls who were months away from college. Football game goers. Socializers. Dorm-room livers. And I thought to myself, "College will never come." I was accepted to BYU, the only school I really wanted to go to. I moved far away and met girls who became my best friends. I saw a lot of people grow up really quickly. Temple worshippers. Research assistants. Wives. And I thought to myself, "Life came too fast."

For so long, all I wanted was what came next. It's sinking in that my future is here and I better stop long enough to enjoy it. Really enjoy it.

Ps. Lindsey, live your life. Love today. College will come and go before you know it!

Pps. Can the end really be this close?

TR Phase-out.

I am super bummed today because I discovered the Therapeutic Recreation major at BYU is being phased out. By spring 2012, the program won't exist because of "administrative decisions and parameters related to them." I will still be able to graduate in TR, but I am so disappointed that future students won't have the option to pursue this degree. The professors I have are remarkable. They have inspired me to want to be a good therapist, teacher, and facilitator; but more importantly, I have left their classes a better person than when I first enrolled. I'm not sure why this decision was made. I'm sad.

And now I have a husband.

I have finished three years of college. I am turning 21 this summer. I'm thinking about the past few years and remembering the feelings and emotions of my heart. Two years ago, at this time, I was a bright-eyed freshman. I had one year at BYU under my belt, and not a clue what I wanted to do in the future. I wasn't in a relationship, but I had a lingering attraction for my high school boytoy. I wasn't sure what I wanted, and had no idea I would meet the man I'd marry in just a few weeks time. I had plans to return home to Texas and find a job. I didn't know I would work with all my closest friends and that we would spend most of our summer nights with a gang of cute boys from. . . who would've guessed?. . .Utah. I didn't know he'd take my hand and my heart would race, or that he'd kiss me and my inhibitions would disappear. I didn't know I would have to make big decisions, probably the hardest of my life. I didn't know I would have to break someone's heart to make anothers' smile. And to think. . . now I have a husband.

A husband: one who is nice to me even when I'm cranky. . .who doesn't get jealous of high school boy friends who want to catch up. . .who helps me calm down when I'm overwhelmed. A husband: one whose smile still makes me melt and who I still want to see at the end (and beginning, and middle!) of every day. I love you, hubby. I was just thinking about two years ago..

(Ps. Readers, I'm sorry this was a little bit of a sappy married post. I was just blogging about what's on my mind...)

I cried.

Last Tuesday, I went to play flag football with some people in my major. We had a ton of fun. Yesterday, they all got together for a barbecue to meet each other's significant others and to have a last final hurrah before graduating. JD and I had a stupid work training all day, and I wasn't able to go. As we were getting ready to leave from flag football, everyone was saying "See you Saturday!" It suddenly hit me I wouldn't be there on Saturday and that it would probably be the last time I saw these girls. . .ever. I cried. I couldn't keep back the tears.

We hugged and shared our love for each other and for the friendships we've formed over the past few years. I am so grateful for the chance I've had to meet them and to work with them and to play with them. It is overwhelming to me that they are all leaving, but I am so excited for their internships and for the places they are going. Life is supposed to move forward and change, but sometimes it's a little hard for me to handle. I cried, definitely.

Scholarship!

I have great news! I applied for a scholarship from the recreation department and was really honored when they informed me I'm going to be a recipient for the 2010-2011 school year! It's really exciting because they only select a few students and I really didn't think I was more qualified than all of the others that applied. I am so grateful for the award and know that Heavenly Father had a hand in the selection process :) Last week there was a scholarship banquet at the Hinckley Alumni Center, a totally gorgeous building on campus. I had never been inside, but it was really so beautiful.

They had a yummy dinner and then some of our professors presented the different scholarships. Also, the department honored an outstanding recreational professional in Utah. He gave a really motivating speech that helped me remember the power of recreation to bring families and communities together.

This is some of the students who've been in my "TR cohort" that also received awards. I've seen these people like everyday for the past year and a half-in classes, working on projects, and recreating together :) I am grateful for these teachers, who have inspired me to want to work with people, implement programs with power to change, and monitor progress in the lives of real individuals. As Dr. Zabriskie always says, "We're people people." I really do feel like I am going to find a lot of happiness in the work I can do with the degree I am getting. I still don't know what population I want to work with, but I am looking forward to internship and volunteer opportunities in lots of different settings. Hopefully, I'll find something that clicks! Nonetheless, I feel very blessed to get to study therapeutic recreation at BYU, one of the few colleges in the country that has an accredited program. What an opportunity!

Never.

It should never snow on April 5(what the?!) or any springtime day after that. I never want to be done with school. It's a really happening time on BYU campus right now because there's only a week of school left and then a good chunk of the student body will be graduating (at least a good chunk of the student body I know!). . . It makes me a little sad because a lot of my classmates that I've come to know and love through my TR classes are going on to bigger and better things and I still have to tackle the research and evaluation class by myself in the fall. So weird. There are so many classes I still want to take, things I want to learn, experiences I want to have here. I feel like there are so many people around me who just can't wait to be done; I can never relate. My husband never waits long enough for the dough to rise when he makes homemade bread. He's a little too impatient. It always turns out thicker than he wants. I'm not complaining! It's awesome he wants to bake things. It would be better if he could wait a little longer (or I guess if I ever started it before he got home.. eeks.) My bangs never work the way I want them to. They always do the stupid twisty-turny-callicky-split-down-the-middle thing. It drives me nuts. The only day I can really remembering loving my bangs was on my wedding day. . .which is lucky, right! I never want to wash the big dishes. I like doing the little stuff and leaving the pots and pans for JD. He's okay with that, so it works for us. I never fall asleep at night without turning the fan on. There has never been been a day of marriage that JD hasn't told me he loved me. I've never liked seafood. I don't think I ever will. Speaking of seafood, I don't like fish and I keep reading or hearing about how eating fish one night a week is supposed to be healthy for you. You aren't supposed to eat meat every day. PROBLEM. We eat meat alot. I don't know how I could live without it. I never want to be a vegetarian. Although, I have thought about trying it for a month or something just to see what it's like and because JD's brother and his girlfriend don't eat meat and seem to be really skinny. I can never find the motivation to give up icecream, potatoes, or white pasta sauce. I'm never pleased when I weigh myself. I never buy the cute things in the BYU bookstore that I would buy if I had a bigger spending fund. I never think returned missionaries who still live at home are attractive (I know that's so judgmental. Sorry.) I never get sick of looking at engagement or wedding pictures. I love seeing people around me in love.

(I tend to say, "Don't ever say always or never," because it's hardly ever true. Things don't always happen or never happen. I still hold to that statement. I've used never in this blogpost for emphasis, mostly.)

Hey Brain.

Hey brain, Where are you? Remember that leisure intervention protocol that's due in 6 days? Remember how you are supposed to be researching contact theory? And the effects of inclusion on people's attitudes towards individuals with disabilities? Remember you are supposed to have a clear understanding of autism and the intervention of modern dance? Remember how you have to compile a comprehensive risk management plan for a school who needs one really badly? Remember how you are supposed to evaluate those risks and prioritize them in a risk matrix? Remember how you are supposed to put together a professional presentation? Remember how some of your group isn't doing squat. . .and you need to pick up the slack? Remember how you have to find a court case in Utah that describes a breach in someone's constitutional rights concerning recreation? Remember how you have to describe the side of the plaintiff and the defendant and say what side you agree with? Remember how you have no idea what's going on in your finance class? And you need to review stocks, bonds, and mutual funds? Remember how you have to do that take-home test on planning, and management styles, and the APIE process? Remember how you need to read that chapter in bio? And catch up on the homework assignments? And get a better understanding of how global warming is really affecting the earth you live on? Remember how general conference is this weekend. . .and you really wanted to have all of this done before it starts. . .so you can peacefully listen to a prophet's voice? Remember how you were supposed to do a lot of this last weekend. . .and you got really distracted. I let you go then, but I can't now. Please come back to me.

And stop wandering off here...

(I realize if you aren't a therapeutic recreation major... you probably won't understand the extent of the work outlined in this post. And that's okay. All you need to know is that being a certified tr specialist isn't always fun and games... and my classes are a little bit kicking my butt right now).

Loyal, strong, and true.

Did you know BYU is the most popular national university in the US? I didn't. But it's a pretty awesome trivia fact of the day, if you ask me. I am grateful for my opportunity to study and learn here. I wish my husband went to BYU, too. I think we would get to see eachother a lot more than we do now. Often times I think about how different my life would be if I had chosen to go to UT, which is really the only other college I ever considered. I would have to try a lot harder to make the right decisions. I would have to explain my lifestyle a lot more. I would probably get in more political arguments. Also, I would be a lot closer to my family. I would be able to see my grandparents. I would play with these people.

I miss them. We skyped the other day and it made me really happy! I realize what a terrible friend I've been over the last few years in terms of keeping up with their lives. I think I would have a lot of fun if I lived in Austin. I think my heart would be content in Texas. In fact, I feel the pull home quite frequently. I really hope we move back sometime in the next few years...

But for now, I am trying to finish strong at BYU. In the next few weeks, I will register for my last semester of college classes. I'll do an internship next winter, and then I'll graduate. FROM COLLEGE. Someone pinch me, please. This is so unreal.