Being Open

If I say "that poem by Larkin" you know the one I mean right? It's called This Be The Verse, and I think most people know the first couple of lines.

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.

They may not mean to, but they do.

Well, my parents truly did a number on me.

Waist Not Want Not

Part of the reason that I wanted to be more serious about my health was that I wanted my children to be more active and more aware of their own health.

Top Ender will be 18 just after Christmas, and it was about then that I started putting on weight because I stopped doing PE at school, I stopped walking a couple of miles to the train station each day and I don't want Tops to follow in my footsteps.

Dan Jon of course already has his own health issues, being a type 1 Diabetic, and I want to make sure that he takes as much care of his health as is possible, so that he lives a long and healthy life. Again, I don't want him following in my footsteps.

This is why I was thrilled that Top Ender started taking an interest in the exercise that I was doing and when she mentioned that she'd seen something on Tiktok that people were using to increase their fitness I was able to surprise her as I'd ordered a Smart Hula Hoop which is what she was talking about!

Tops and I have been using the hoop each day and enjoying the giggles that come from using it too. I'm not sure it is my favourite exercise, but it is something that is bringing me closer to my daughter and I'm all for that!

Is She A Legacy?

On Saturday, Flyfour and I took Top Ender to look at a University.

We've been to a few over the last few months, some online and some in person, but this one was going to be different. This one was the University I went to, one that I have such fond memories of and one that I would love if Top Ender went to.

I didn't tell Top Ender to look at my University, in fact I haven't had anything to do with the list of universities that we are being shown around and neither has Flyfour.

Top Ender has been so sensible about it, she has looked at what universities in the UK offer the two courses she is after (Creative Writing and Film Studies as a joint BA) or courses that offer similar modules and worked out what she believes she would enjoy.

Tops has looked at rankings regarding student happiness, employability and the results of people taking the courses she is interested in. Tops has looked at her grade predictions, at the grade requirements, at course modules, at the areas she'd live in, at the distance from us here at home...

It just happened that St Mary's University was on the list.

Originally it was going to be her "safe" choice but when she spoke to the lecturers in charge of the two courses she wanted to take, I could see her change her mind.

As we walked around the campus I could see her picturing herself as a student, walking to lectures, sitting in the piazza, studying in the library, eating at the refectory and just as I used to love, sitting in the grounds looking at the beautiful gothic castle and loving that I lived in a place called Strawberry Hill.

Tops is now working towards making sure that St Mary's accepts her by getting the best grades she can. I'm so excited!!!

Free Hot Dinners

I'm not against this idea. Honestly I'm not, but I have reservations about it. It's taken me this long to actually get round to posting about it because, I've needed to think it through, I needed to make sure that what I was saying wasn't a knee jerk reaction, but more a well thought out response. So, the Government says that it wants to give children in the lower years of Primary Schools a free hot meal at lunchtime. Well, free as in the parents won't have to hand money over to the School to get them but as I understand it (and I really should make it my business to know stuff like this), I pay various different taxes which will ultimately fund the lunches.

Right, my first reservation about this plan isn't about the funding of the lunches (although where is the money coming from? Aren't we in debt as a country and shouldn't we be funding things like Policemen, Fireman, Nurses, people fixing potholes, getting the Armed Forces equipment that they need etc) but where exactly are the children going to be eating these hot lunches? At the School where Top Ender and Big Boy go to, they used to eat their lunches in their classrooms if they had a packed lunch and in the hall if they had a hot meal. They changed it so that everyone now eats in the hall. Basically my point comes down to this; Where are the extra Children going to go?

Does the School your children go to have a Canteen that has the space for EVERY child, teacher, teaching assistant and dinner lady in the School? Are they going to need to eat in time slots? Does it mean that children like Big Boy who need to eat at a specific time because of medical needs are going to go first and then other children second? Is there going to be a timer letting the children know there slot is almost up, because another 50 children or so need to get into eat their lunch? Are the older years going to eat later in the lunch period?

Talking of medical needs, Big Boy needs to have the exact amount of carbs worked out for what he is eating, this way we can give him the right amount of insulin. At home, I do this by weighing out all of his food. I have to do this, I can't be gungho and just slap a portion that looks the right amount on his plate because we've learnt the hard way that controlling his blood sugars is a lot easier when we know exactly what he is eating. Can you see a School Caterer using a scale to weigh his meal, to ensure that it is exactly 35g of Mashed Potato he is being given? Are they going to have time to be doing this day after day, when they need to serve 100+ other children at the same time?

What about Children that follow specific diets? What about families who keep Kosher? What about Celiacs that need to ensure that they don't eat wheat or gluten? The current school meal supplier at Tops and BB's School provides a great menu for meat eaters and a second equally great one for vegetarians. Are they going to provide a different menu for each different allergy and specific diet requirement or are they going to adapt the menus to ensure that they are suitable for a wide cross section of diets? The costs for something like this isn't going to be small, and take it from experience catering for several restrictive diets at the same time isn't easy and the end results aren't always tasty.

All the recent data that I've seen has said that it is older School Children needing a hot meal. The children taking exams are the ones that need the meal so that they can concentrate and yet, they are being excluded from this plan. Apparently eating one hot meal at School a day will teach the younger children a lot too because according to Nick Clegg;

"teaching healthy habits young, and boosting attainment early, will bring the biggest benefits"

Really? One meal a day is going to teach healthy habits? How exactly? Surely teaching the children how to cook (like I and probably you were at School and our Mother's skirts) and teaching them a more healthy relationship with food would be better? And whilst we are at it, teaching parents the things they actually need to know about food would be better too? Or is that too much of a Nanny State?

The other problem I have with this, and a lot of parents will have is that I have more than one child. Tops won't be given a free hot meal, but surely she'd need one too? So if I start paying for Top Ender to have a hot meal at School, do my children now get two hot meals a day? One at lunch and one at home with me? Surely two meals like this would mean that the rates of obesity in our children would increase?

Then again if the children have a snack or a sandwich in the evening at home and no longer eat with their parents is this the end of family meals? It wouldn't be practical for me to eat a hot meal at home at lunchtime as it's just me. With Flyfour being at work, I'm sure he'd be able to get something from the canteen but only if they cater for his dietary needs...

As I said, I am not against the idea, I just don't see how it's going to work or benefit families and children and there is a lot more that people need to think about how it is going to change their lives at home.

I have an addiction

And it's not Dr Pepper. You all know that I love Dr Pepper, but I realised recently that I can drink one glass and not a whole bottle so I've solved that addiction.

No, this addiction is slightly more worrying because until this week I didn't realise that I even had it.

This is my kitchen cupboard where I store things for the Children's lunch boxes, you know stickers, cocktail umbrellas, cocktail sticks, cupcake boxes, special boxes and bags and napkins. Lots and lots of napkins.

There's even more fabric ones in the dining table drawer, and there are some very nice Christmas ones in the cupboard under the stairs and some Easter ones in my bedroom and I've just started sewing a birthday set too...

So, make me feel better. Do you have a secret addiction too?

Are Mother in laws evil or is it the daughters in law?

When I was growing up there were a lot of comedians, who liked to joke that Mother in Laws were evil. I never really got it, because as far as I could see my parents both got on with their respective Mother in laws. So I knew that it was a joke, that it wasn't something that really happened and then I found the man I wanted to spend my life with, and we dated and we got engaged and we got married.

My understanding of the mother in law relationship changed. I was now part of the relationship between mother and son, I was one third of the relationship.

I got on with my Father in law almost from the first second that we met, (and his Second wife), but my soon to be Mother in law seemed to be a little more distant. I was sure at first that she was disapproving because Flyfour and I were engaged and practically married before we met (as in my MIL and I not Flyfor and I) and then maybe because Flyfour and she were close, then maybe because I wasn't C.O.E. like she was...

I'm still not sure why she seemed not to like me. Maybe she really didn't like me, although I always thought and have been told that I am likeable. I'm still not close enough to my MIL to ask her and I certainly won't ask Flyfour to ask her so one of you is going to have to.

I could tell you hundreds of stories about my MIL, and I'm sure that she could tell you hundreds about me. And that's the point isn't it?

I chose Flyfour to be my husband, I knew that I wanted to spend my life with him but I didn't do the same "vetting" on my future in laws. These people are going to be in my life FOREVER (especially being LDS as I am as I believe that Family is eternal and not just death till we part) and yet the only connection I have to them really is their son.

Then when I had Big Boy, I understood that I was going to be the worst Mother in law in the world. This little boy means so much to me, because he's my son. Yes, I'm teaching him everything I can so that he is respectful, kind, loving, giving so that he is going to be one of the best darn husbands of all time and his wife will love me for it BUT I'm still going to want him in my life.

I'm going to want to come and see their babies, I'm going to want to have them round my house regularly for dinner and I'll want them to have me round to their home too. I'm going to want to be as involved in their life as I know that I will be involved in Top Ender's.

My poor daughter in law is going to hate me for being so involved.

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My name is Dan Jon Jr

Over on A Mothers Rambling's I call the children by nicknames. To start with, it was because I wanted a level of security, if a stranger didn't know my Children's real name then they couldn't convince them that they knew them. And knowing that if I google myself I get some really dodgy stories, I wanted the children to have some protection of a future boss googling them and finding out about the time that they ran naked through the garden (actually that was childhood me) or snogged a boy in the cloakroom at School (again me).

Gradually the nicknames became used more often. If I was in a crowded place and I quickly needed my children's attention then their blog names get their attention quicker than shouting their quite common, given name.

Their nicknames became their second names, used almost as often as their real names.

I didn't think that it really effected them to be honest and then Big Boy started making videos of himself playing Minecraft. And at the start of every video he introduced himself to his viewing public;

"Hi! This is Dan Jon Jr. here..."

Who the heck is Dan Jon Jr? Who is Dan Jon Sr for that matter! We don't know anyone with those names, we don't even know a junior! And yet that is how he introduces himself.

Whilst I would quite like to know where the inspiration for this name came from, I'm not that worried about this alternative identity. He's introducing himself with a secret identity, because that is what he thinks you do on the internet. Why he chose these names, I don't really know but they are his. They are his identity, his chosen way to present himself to the world and I'm glad that at nearly five he's sure enough in himself to decide that he knows who he is.

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Happy birthday me

So, it's my birthday.

For the last couple of years I've pretended that I'm bothered that I'm growing older. I've joked about being younger than I am and even friends who were in the same School year as me, joined in with the joke.

But it doesn't bother me.

I'm not worried that I've got a few grey hairs (apparently as I can't see any) or that I'm closer to my death than I am my birth.

I have a brilliant life. I have a wonderful family. I have faith. I have (for the most part) my health. I have friends and later on today I will have cake.

And yet I still pretend.

So if you see me on Facebook or Twitter today telling you that I'm 28 or there about, then tell me I don't look a day over twenty. Tell me Happy Birthday. Just join me with the joke.

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Parenting Today

Watching the Children play together this past half term has made me think about how I would cope as a Stay at Home Mum in previous decades. How would I cope if I had been bringing up my Children in the 90's? The 80's? The 70's? The 60's?

I'm sure that I would have been a much more different person to the one I am now. The slight and subtle cultural changes that mould us all in ways we can't possibly imagine, would have made me a different me. I don't think I would swear as much as I do, I doubt I would be as overweight  I wouldn't have as many friends from different cultures as I do and I wouldn't class men as some of my best and closest friends. Would I have a different religion? Would I have friends who were different religions? Would any of my friends not go to Church?

I guess that these are questions that I will never really know the answer to.

My Mum was always there, but I'm not sure what she did exactly. I mean I know she did the household chores and cooked the meals, but did she turn off between 9am and 3pm whilst I was at School? Did she sit and watch daytime TV? Did she have friends that she would go and see? Did she go back to bed or was there something else other than me that filled her days?

My childhood was so different to my own Children's.

I was allowed to play on the back field without my Mum watching my every move. I was allowed to ride my bike around the alleyways of the estate on a Sunday morning before my parents woke up. I was allowed to walk to the local park alone, even though it meant crossing a road.

It wasn't that my parents didn't care, just the norm back then was for Children to have more freedom than they do now. I was taught stranger danger of course, but not as fanatically as I teach my own children now.

I don't think my parents had to worry about how much time I spent watching cartoons on TV, as back then Children's TV wasn't on all day every day. They didn't have to worry about me using electronic devices, as those that I did have weren't like the ones of today.

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This isn't to go on Facebook

When you have a blog and your friends and family know about it, there is always a caveat when they tell you something.

"This isn't to go on Facebook or your blog, okay?".

Yeah, because that's what I do. I take your personal life and immediately tell the rest of the world. I'm that callous and immature that I'm going to use your personal life to make my status updates seem more... yeah, I don't know what your personal life is going to do for my status updates.

If I wanted to post real life on my Status updates then I'd post updates about my own life. Oh wait a minute, amongst all the chat about cheese and the other random things I post, I do post about my own life. Sure, I might not post anything as salacious as the news you just told me but that's because I understand what is personal and what isn't.

I understand what I have the right to share and what I don't.

And as for posting it on my blog. I don't know if you've read my blogs, but none of them are about *you*. They are about the things my family get up to, the films we watch, the walks we go on, the food we eat and the randomness that I call my inner thoughts.

Posting the car wreck that is your life story wouldn't do me or my blog any good. I might however take inspiration for the book I'm trying to write.

That's okay right? I mean you didn't tell me I couldn't write a book about it.


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Family, Facebook and Death

I have a large extended family. There are Cousins and Aunts and Uncles and Second Cousins ten times removed and everything in between, most of them I know and can tell you stories about them. You know like that's Sarah, she once played on the beach with me in a green swimsuit. Or that's my cousins husbands mothers niece who I met at the wedding and she used to run marathons.

Thanks to modern technology I was able to keep up with most of them. I could read Facebook updates, see pictures of their family, celebrate new jobs, births of babies, marriages and in some cases divorces!

Today though this modern tech that I take for granted gave me bad news. I found out through Facebook that there had been a death. A death of a beautiful young woman, just on the cusp of adulthood. A death I wouldn't have found out about for many months, if at all, if my cousin, this beautiful young woman's father, hadn't posted an update on Facebook.

So what's my point? I'm honestly not sure.

I'm thankful that my cousin has a place to tell all his friends and family what is happening in his life, that we are able to support him through this horrid time. I'm thankful that I was able to speak with him and tell him how sorry I was and then was able to reach out to my friends and family and was able to get people to pray for him and his family.

I'm not thankful for the same thing though. I'm not expecting my cousin to be thinking of phoning extended family to tell them the news when he must be reeling from the news himself but it's not how you expect to find out about a death though is it? Reading a status update amongst updates from people talking about how they have run out of toilet roll or how they have new hair cuts or how they have decided that they will have a bar of chocolate this afternoon.

I don't know the solution to this (I have some ideas) but I knew I wanted to share. Do you think there is an answer to this or even what the question is?

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Grandma Likes Gin

Last week I got to go to Big Boy's school for the morning. The activities were themed around Little Red Riding Hood and we were asked what we'd take our Grandma if she was sick. I decided to make a basket for my Nan.

Do you think she'll like it?

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One of *those* moments

You know when the universe tries to teach you a lesson and you can see what the lesson is but you refuse to acknowledge it? This past week the Universe (well actually it's God, but you know Universe is cool too) was really trying to teach me something and I was being very stubborn and not letting go.

The Relief Society Lesson this past weekend was aimed at me.

A conversation I had with a friend brought up a couple of points I knew I should be looking at.

Talking with my sister I had another prompt to make changes and take action.

Then today I had one of *those* moments.

A moment where you suddenly realise that in this world there are only a few things that matter.

So tonight, whilst I am sitting in the den and Flyfour is sitting at the PC I'm going to write to all those who mean something to me and tell them so.

I'm going to ask for forgiveness to all those who I've had negative feelings towards.

I'm going to forgive myself for mistakes I've made.

I'm going to pray for those I love. I'm going to pray for my friends, my family, for you dear reader and for everyone who has ever come into my life.

And I'm going to pray for me.

And tomorrow, hopefully, I will remember this lesson I've learnt and be able to move on to the next stage in my life.

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A 14 Mile Bike Ride

With Flyfour having been out on his bike almost every day since we brought it (14th July) there didn't seem to be an evening that went past that I didn't feel he was implying that going out on a bike was a much harder workout than what I was doing at the gym. Eventually we decided that what we needed to do was go on a bike ride together.

We decided on part of Cycle Route 51 as you can join the route about 1 mile from our house and we could cycle down to Winslow, a nearby Town about six miles away. Flyfour told me that it was a straight route after the first big hill and so once my bike had been given the once over and my helmet found we left my mum in charge of the children and set off.

I'm not going to lie, the first mile killed me. It's all uphill and Flyfour was taking it slow for me but I still lost my temper with him at one point (when he was trying to explain about using different gears because he knows all about different gears now he is such an active cyclist) and I realised I had to stop beating myself up about having to stop a couple of times and start enjoying this time alone with Flyfour.

We carried on and the ride got easier, (a lot easier considering that Flyfour's definition of straight after one big hill isn't my idea of straight after one big hill) and a few miles later Flyfour asked if I wanted to turn around and go back. I didn't I was going to cycle the whole route even if it killed me! After an hour we got to our destination/half way point. I was so proud of myself for having made it that I didn't care that Flyfour had taken pity on me and had gone at half his normal speed.

Flyfour said he was proud of me too, I had just done my first "proper" bike ride and ridden just short of seven miles and was about to do the same back (but with a slightly bigger loop round our road to make it up to 14 miles) and as he said that was nothing to sneeze at. The return journey was a lot easier as it was mostly down hill and I knew the route having just cycled it, but I think the biggest part of making it easier was the psychological aspect as I knew now that I was heading for home.

With the weather turning, I'm not sure how much longer I'll manage to go out on my bike as I'm not one for cycling in the rain/snow/sleet/hail/cold/British winter and I don't think that Flyfour and I are going to get a chance to go out together again until Spring is well and truly established.

What I do know though is that cycling outdoors is a hard work out. I wouldn't say it was harder than going to the gym (there I get an all body work out but would have to cycle up a lot of hills to get the same effect on a bike), and I wouldn't say it was easier either (the ride really tested my stamina) but I am sure that Flyfour and I could agree that it is a different sort of workout and one that I'm sure I will try to keep up.

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Knock On Fitness

Flyfour keeps trying to tell me that he is proud of me, for the steps that I have taken to get more active and to become fitter and healthier and to be the right weight for me. Every time he says it, he has said to me that he feels that it is coming out wrong, that he is actually insulting me but I know what he means. I'm proud of me too, I've made changes and I'm sticking to them.

What I am more proud of though is that I'm inspiring other people to do it too. There are a few people on Twitter and Facebook who are giving me support (and I'm giving them support on their journeys too) but the one person I'm most pleased to have inspired is closer to home. Flyfour has decided that he needs to start doing regular exercise again too. 

When A Mothers Ramblings won The Best MAD Blog for Family Fun last year part of the prize was some vouchers for spending in Evans Cycles. We debated a few times on what we would do with the vouchers, but when Flyfour had decided that he wanted to do some regular exercise I suggested that he should buy a new bike with the vouchers we had won.

Flyfour decided on this bike.

And the chap who served us was fantastic, he talked over all the benefits of different bikes, about different routes that Flyfour could cycle in the local area and even encouraged Flyfour to ride his bike home that afternoon... which Flyfour did!

Flyfour has been going out everyday either when I get back from the gym or before I go out depending on timing and he is loving it. I introduced him to Endomondo and he has been tracking his routes, planning new ones and getting ready for cycling to work once or twice a week in a few weeks time.

There is a long journey ahead of us both to get us to a fitness level that we are happy with and to get to a weight that both we and the Doctors are happy with, but we are prepared for this journey and we are supporting each other through it. We know that together we will achieve our goals.

Don't forget to check out what I'm doing over at A Mothers Ramblings too!

The Twunt At The Gym

I was in a bad mood before I got to the gym this morning. I was tired, I had overslept and wasn't in the mood for working out. I knew though if I didn't go to the gym and work out that I would regret it later in the day even if I had promised myself I would go in the evening. I decided to start on the treadmill, something nice and easy to ease me into the morning and chose a machine away from other gym members already working out. Another gym member was on a machine two to my left and another two to my right, but I was okay where I was.

It was good until another gym member got on the empty machine to my right, because he vaguely knew the chap on the machine that had been the other side of the empty treadmill. They started chatting and loudly; I had headphones on and could still clearly here them. The conversation they had was about why they had both joined the gym. Apparently they had both been advised by their Doctor that they needed to improve their health as they had both been diagnosed with diabetes. The chap who had been on the treadmill to start with seemed to be quite serious about his diagnosis and it was clear to me that he wanted to talk about it as it had had an impact on his life. I sympathised with him as Big Boys recent Type One diagnosis has had a huge impact on us. The second chap however started going on about how his diabetes has been cured now that he has started exercising and how who knew you could cure diabetes with exercise.

I wanted to punch this guy. He hasn't cured diabetes, he has simply discovered that the diabetes that he has (I'm guessing he is a type two) is managed better when he is taking part in regular physical exercise and I'm guessing again that it is better managed now that he has made some changes in his diet too. I've been told I should have told him what an idiot he was, that I should have told him that there is more than one type of diabetes, that he should be careful about what he discusses in public because he could offend other people with his I know everything attitude.

I didn't though. He didn't know that the conversation he was having loudly was going to affect anyone else in the gym the way if affected me, he didn't know that right now I would give up anything, do anything, say anything for diabetes to be something that can be cured. For my baby to not have to be injected and pricked and make wishes at night that he would only have to take the medicine one more time before he never needed it again.


I hope that one day the announcement is made that a cure for diabetes has been found and that maybe like the twunt at the gym suggested that it is something simple like doing some extra exercise that turns out to be the cure, but until that day every time I see the twunt at the gym I'll make sure that I turn my headphones up a bit more.

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Becoming Fit and Healthy

Part of the reason that I want to get fit and healthy is because I want my family to get fit and healthy. I want Top Ender and Big Boy to learn that keeping fit is fun and is something that you have to make time for in life. Something which whilst I know, I kind of forgot to put into practice since leaving School. This is why my challenge that I've set with Coca-Cola to win Olympic Tickets (You can still enter go take a look) is so important to me, it's close to home.

For us we are doing small things together like going for our weekly walks to local woods where we can spend time in the outdoors getting some fresh air, looking at the different plant and animal life and we've found that the Children love spotting the different changes in the seasons up close. Daddy and I get a chance to catch up on all our news, and stories that we've forgotten to tell each other from the past week and we finish our walk feeling more energised and closer as a family.

Then there are the weekly swimming date nights which have turned into Family Swimming nights. Whilst one of us adults looks after our two little not quite yet swimmers and has fun treading water and playing a few games (normally chase to encourage swimming around the pool) the other adult goes and swims a few lengths before swapping. Of course we still spend time together in the pool having a laugh together and that is what makes this weekly exercise so perfect. We don't realise that what we are doing is exercise, for us it is just family time.

When I think about it the children are always active, they are normally running around and jumping up and down and they don't see what they are doing as exercise for them it is just part of their everyday life. I guess that it's me that has to learn really that exercise is something that is part of my everyday life and it is something that we will continue to do as a family.

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Possibly The Best Wife In The World

There are lots of reasons why I am possibly the best wife in the world, but for the last two weeks I have been the best wife in the world because I have given up my Sunday lay in. My lovely long luxurious, only me in the bed lay in.

We split the weekend lay in's in this house, with Flyfour getting the Saturday and me getting the Sunday. It works for us and means that we each get some quality one on one time with the children and a good long lay in, but of course on special days that fall on a Sunday it does mean I get cheated out of my lay in.

Last week was of course Fathers Day and so as well as getting up on the Saturday, I got up with the children on the Sunday. We don't need to go into detail of how I didn't feed the children anything other than fruit and managed to convince Flyfour that we should go for a McDonalds breakfast for us all and we don't need to explain that I sat in the den playing a computer game with the children for a large part of the morning, the point is I gave up my lay in without a qualm.

I'm very giving me.

Then yesterday, Flyfour decided that he would give BB and I a lift to the train station so that we could spend the day with Dairylea and AMR Blog friends. This meant that his lay in was tragically cut short and so in a moment of guilt I decided that I should give up my Sunday lay in to make up for this. Like I said, I'm very giving.

We of course will extend the courtesy offered to me about my silence over what I did last Sunday morning and won't say anything about how Flyfour spent the vast majority of yesterday on the PC, with Tops playing in the den on the PC and watching a film after all he did do a couple of loads of washing to make up for that. We won't say anything about how he went out and brought some special treats for himself and Tops for lunch as I did get a rather lovely buffet out with Dairylea and we won't say anything about him buying Top Ender a new mobile phone (It's a Samsung Galaxy Europa) because he did let me join a gym this week.

Let's just not forget that I am possibly the best wife in the world as I gave up my lay in for the second week in a row.

She just doesn't want to come to dinner does she?

My sister had such an eventful week last week, it was almost like if something was going to go wrong it would go wrong. So when she called me in the middle of the day last Thursday I joked as I answered the phone "What disaster has happened now?!" she said that my Mum was being rushed to hospital with a suspected Stroke. There is a family joke that when I ask my Mum to come for dinner and plan something special that she becomes ill and so I thought at first my sister was winding me up, but I realised that she wasn't.

I was in the middle of making Top Enders Friday Lunch, a Star Quiche, when I got the phone call. I posted a tweet about what was happening (because that is my support system), phoned my husband and then went back to making my quiche. I didn't know what else to do, I couldn't go to the hospital as I didn't know what hospital it was that my Mum was going to and if it was the one I thought she was going to I needed to know what I was facing as the last time I was at this particular hospital, was when I went to say Goodbye to my Gran. I agreed with my sister that if she went with my Mum to the hospital I would go the next day, what would have been my Gran's birthday what is my Niece's birthday.

I had texts and DM's from friends checking I was okay and asking if there was anything they could do and letting me know that they were thinking of and praying for my Mum and my family. They meant so much to me, as did the little pep talk that Vic gave me via text message the next day when I was at the hospital having made a fool of myself and not thought about visiting times and so having turned up before visiting hours had started. I did eventually get to see my Mum and it's been confirmed now that it wasn't a stroke but she has Bells Palsy.

Today my Mum should be coming home and I'll be picking her up before bringing her straight back to my house to have dinner. If for some reason she isn't discharged I might just have to kidnap her from the hospital. She isn't getting out of coming to dinner again!

To leave on a happier note though, my Mum was going to be babysitting for my sister on the Friday night, so I bravely agreed to step in for her. As many of you know my sister has four children under the age of five and I've only ever babysat for two of them at the same time (admittedly with my two so I was looking after four under five too) and so I was worried but I wasn't going to tell my sister that! Luckily though my nieces were all complete darlings as this beautiful picture shows;

Here's to this week being a better week.

Celebration or Sadness?

Today is the anniversary of my Gran's death. It is also Top Ender's birthday. I know I have talked about this before but I feel that it was just so unfair for Top Ender's day to always be shadowed by the death of a beloved relative.

I told Top Ender that my Gran chose this day so that she would always be linked to her. That she wouldn't of wanted us to be sad, but to be glad for her life, for the love that she had shared and that of course now she is with her own parents and husband in heaven and that is why she died after Top Ender had gone to bed and her birthday was "over".

I can't help but feel that is a load of crap though.

If my Gran wasn't dead I could kill her for dying today. I mean I know it wasn't her choice, I know that her body just gave up and I understand that I do. It's just wrong and unfair.

Someone made a comment about a year after her death on a blog post of mine about how I hadn't stopped talking about her in the year since she had died. It made me upset, I didn't want to be filling AMR with mentions of death because I didn't want my children to look back and think that is all I was talking about but it was a HUGE event in my life. I wish now I had handled it better and told the person who left the comment to shut up but it's too late for that now.

So today after Top Ender has gone to bed and enjoyed her Eighth birthday I'm going to go to bed and have a cry in to my pillow about a wonderful woman who left us behind on a special day.