Oh Sugar Honey Ice Tea!

The day has finally arrived.

The day that I get up, get ready and go on an adventure.

At the moment, it doesn't feel quite real. It's almost as if it's happening to someone else, maybe I'm watching a movie or reading a book and REALLY identify with the main character, or maybe this is just a very vivid dream and I'll wake up shortly thinking wow that was terrifying.

I was speaking with Flyfour about it, and asked if he thought I would snap into it before I got lost in Paris. I'm not sure if he was joking or not, but he said he thought I'd realised once I got back what I had done. Friends at work have been reminding me to enjoy and to be safe, and Cara, gave me some very important advice;

Being Open

If I say "that poem by Larkin" you know the one I mean right? It's called This Be The Verse, and I think most people know the first couple of lines.

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.

They may not mean to, but they do.

Well, my parents truly did a number on me.

A Midlife Crisis

A few weeks ago I started joking that I was having a midlife crisis and wanted to go backpacking around Europe this Summer.

It really was a joke, the last thing I wanted to do was stay in a load of Hostels on my own, wearing last week's knickers and trying to converse in a language that I was unfamiliar with, whilst trying to pretend that I wasn't a 43-year-old woman having a midlife crisis.

Only the more I joked about it, the more I started wanting to go and realising that actually, this want for an adventure, teamed with the loss of my Mum earlier this year probably is a midlife crisis and if I treated it as a period of growth, that maybe I could come out the other side a better person.

There were two things that swung my decision to go.

The Biggest Change

Six weeks ago when I started on this transformation programme I had a plan.

I was going to exercise.

I was going to eat healthily.

I was going to do everything I could to make sure that I was changing my life.

This time the changes were going to stick because I understood that I don't feel accountable to myself, but I do feel accountable to other people. I had to remember that this wasn't just for me. The changes I were making were not just for me, I was going to be changing for my family, for my friends and for the various communities that I am a part of.

I wanted to make it clear to the people in my communities that I had changed.

Hopefully, they would be able to see the weight loss.

Hopefully, they would be able to see the increased fitness.

Hopefully, they would be able to see the change in my body shape.

Hopefully, they would be able to see that I had made changes and celebrate with me.

Just in case they didn't notice though, I figured I'd better do something to highlight the changes that had happened.

I took inspiration from all the weight loss shows that I love to watch and booked myself into the hairdressers...

When I weigh *THIS* much

Sometimes I think about things I'm going to do when I'm a healthy weight.

When I weigh *THIS* much, I'm going to buy new clothes.

When I weigh *THIS* much, I'm going to start running daily.

When I weigh *THIS* much, I'm going to go horse riding.

When I weigh *THIS* much, I'm going to go swimming more.

When I weigh *THIS* much, I'm going to cycle more.

When I weigh *THIS* much, I'm going to be happier.

What a load of tosh!

I don't need to be a certain weight to go swimming or running.

I don't need to be a certain weight to get out on my bike or go horse riding (although I'm poor so that latter one I can't do no matter what my weight!)

I don't need to be a certain weight to be happier. What I needed to realise, and I think I am getting there is, that being happy is about making the right choices.

Every time I get up and drive to my Fitness Tribe session, I feel happy.

Every time I feel stiffness or I am sore after a workout, I feel happy.

Every time I go for a walk with my husband, I feel happy.

Every time I make a healthy food choice, I feel happy.

Every time I exercise at home, I feel happy.

This isn't about what my weight is, this is about changing my lifestyle and my life and doing all the things I want.

The Hike

Every year the Youth of our Stake go on a hike. I have managed to avoid it by a combination of luck and ingenuity when really it is because I can't think of anything worse than hiking for four or five hours in the sun with a bunch of fit 11-18-year-olds.

This isn't because I don't love being with the youth, it's just that I know by the end of the hike I'll be bright red, sweaty as anything and wishing for death. So, instead of doing something about it I decide to miss out.

Until this year.

Flyfour and I have always loved hiking. To me the "walks" that we go on don't really count as hiking but when we went hiking in the Lake District I realised that we hike quite a lot and I could count it as a hobby. With this in mind, I was prepared for the Hike with the Stake youth this year. I wasn't fitter nor did I weigh any less but mentally I wanted to be with the youth and walk.

I was acting as one of two of the designated First Aiders and decided with the other Youth Leader that I would walk at the back of the group and he would take the front. A couple of the young women from another stake that I get on with really well decided they were going to walk with me, and of course we scooped up all those who were falling behind for one reason or another... mainly the hike was 8-10 miles long and it was a long walk for a lot of the youth.

After the first mile or two everyone was starting to flag. I was very tempted to walk back the way I'd come but put on my happy face and just kept pushing forward.

And I did it.

I was so proud of myself (and the youth) for having stuck with it, for having completed the entire hike and for me burning enough calories that I should have lost a whole lb just from the one walk!

Will I be going for another 8.8 mile walk anytime soon?

Probably not... but I'm not ruling it out!

Waist Not Want Not

Part of the reason that I wanted to be more serious about my health was that I wanted my children to be more active and more aware of their own health.

Top Ender will be 18 just after Christmas, and it was about then that I started putting on weight because I stopped doing PE at school, I stopped walking a couple of miles to the train station each day and I don't want Tops to follow in my footsteps.

Dan Jon of course already has his own health issues, being a type 1 Diabetic, and I want to make sure that he takes as much care of his health as is possible, so that he lives a long and healthy life. Again, I don't want him following in my footsteps.

This is why I was thrilled that Top Ender started taking an interest in the exercise that I was doing and when she mentioned that she'd seen something on Tiktok that people were using to increase their fitness I was able to surprise her as I'd ordered a Smart Hula Hoop which is what she was talking about!

Tops and I have been using the hoop each day and enjoying the giggles that come from using it too. I'm not sure it is my favourite exercise, but it is something that is bringing me closer to my daughter and I'm all for that!