thoughts about growing into 40

I'm 8 days from turning 40 y'all.  

The big 40!  

I'm so excited about it.  I'll never get tired of birthdays.  I love birthdays and will always love birthdays and my hope is that I pass my love of celebrating life on to the kiddos.  It's a big deal no matter what age we are turning.

I'm not sad or upset about turning 40.  I feel like I've grown into myself, finally.  I'm so thankful for all the years I've had and for how much I have grown up even more since adulthood.  I still feel like a kid half the time, and in the past 5 or so years I've learned to act more like an adult.  I've learned how to cope with the way I am treated by other people.  I've learned that when people are mean it is all about them, not about me.  That is a huge development for me because I am the worlds biggest peace- maker and after trying to make peace for years and years and years I have realized I can't make everyone happy.  I know I know, even though I've known I still try.  Insanity right??!?!

I can't make everyone happy and the only person I can make happy is myself.  I'm putting on my big girl pants to say, this is the lesson I wish to pass on to my kids. 

We can't control they way people treat us, but we can control how they make us feel.  If we don't like the way we feel then take a leap away.   We all wanna feel good about ourselves!

The kids have had lots of 'feels' making friends in various schools the last few years.  They have both had random encounters with all sorts of kids.  Kids that say mean things.  Kids that have sad home lives and it runs over into school life.  (in those cases i teach the kids about grace)  Kids that show off and make bad choices.  And I'll be the first to say my kids aren't perfect.  I'm trying to teach the babies about how to deal with all types of people and BAM...I need to do the same thing in adult life.   Adults say mean things too and sometimes those words sting 90 times worse than kid words.  Sadly, adults should know better.

We all want to belong and feel part of a group. Even as adults it is an awesome feeling to make friends and feel part of something. We want to be included and accepted.  Is it possible to feel included yet talked down to and belittled?  Can you suddenly find yourself part of the wrong goup?  Being included at the cost of feeling down on yourself isn't worth it and that goes for kids and adults.    

How about an example or two...

Layla is great at nicely distancing herself from 'mean' girls.  She makes friends easily and in our moving adventures she thought she had some besties, and then slowly learned they were not who she once thought.  She can pick up on the meanies and skeedaddle!   I have learned so much from helping and watching her and we are growing together.  As a 5th grader she is great at standing back and watching and trying to decide which group to hang with, and I think her home life helps with that.  She knows she is always safe here.  This is a place in which she can pour out her feelings. She can get advice and I pray she will always feel comfortable coming to Gary and I and talking.  Gary and I want to be that example for her.

Hayden is a guy in 2nd grade and thankfully he hasn't had too many issues.   He once had little guy push him down a few times, serveral days in a row on the playground on purpose.  He came home and asked what he should do.  He also encountered a boy on the bus who didn't understand personal space.  He responded "personal space dude!" and the boy completely got it and left him alone.  Mostly with guys it's all about kicking the soccer ball, throwing a ball and/or running fast.  Hayden has had a few sandpaper people to deal with, but he just wears his 'fast' running shoes and they leave him alone.  ;-) 

The year of 40 is going to be huge for me.  I've been training for this my whole life and I am ready to hung up my peace-maker hat.  I'm living and loving and growing for me.  I'm ready to surround myself with all the positive people in my life that lift me up.    Parenting and aging has made me wiser and MUCH happier.  I hear adults say all the time how hard it is to make friends as an adult.  I think maybe it isn't hard.  I think we are too picky yet not picky enough.  I think we should try harder and be more accepting of each other.  I think we just be ourselves and attract like people.  Dig deep inside and use the filter God gave us.   Treat people the way we want to be treated.  Listen and learn and realize friends can be a friends without pressure.  We can learn something from every single person we come in contact with, soft or sandpaper.

I have a built in best friend

I've met so many people in the last 4 years traveling from Texas to Ohio to Georgia and back to Texas.  I have also 'met' people via this blog and other forms of social media. God Bless social media and the way people vent publicly about marriage. Ouchie.  I sometimes feel extremely shocked by the way people treat their spouses.  The lack of respect, the insecurities, and putting the kids first.  You may disagree and that is fine, but in my opinion the marriage should come first and then the children.

Let me start by saying my marriage is not perfect. We have had bumps in the road, um hello we have moved more times in 4 years than I can stand to admit. Packing and moving will strengthen a marriage y'all!  I am not perfect and Gary is not perfect.  There IS no perfect person in this universe.  The way we are together is perfect for us and our situation.  He is a reflection of the way I treat him and I am a reflection of the way he treats me.  I believe that people see us together and think we come together quite nicely.  Our kids see this too because we act the same way at home as we do when we are out with friends and family.

We were friends first and we still are friends.  I would do anything for him and I know he would do anything for me.  It takes work.  It's hard and from what I've noticed some people don't want to put in that kind of work.  It is crazy to me how hard people work at their job and bettering their career, but they don't take the time to get to know their spouse as their best friend.  Mommas work so hard trying to become the perfect mom, but don't take the time to be the perfect wife.  Sadly, the kids leave and then that momma is stuck at home with a man she doesn't know at age 52.  A friend once told me she'd hang in there until the kids graduated from high school and then she'd be gone.  Well, that is another 10 years.  Imagine how wonderful her marriage would be if she started working now and then in 10 years she wouldn't have to leave to find another man to find out he isn't perfect either.

I love that I have a built in best friend.  We don't always see eye to eye.  We have different views on lots of things.  We get into heated discussions.  Our kids hear us sometimes and we let them listen in to some of our conversations.  They know we disagree at times and by listening to us they understand that marriage isn't perfect but we all learn how to communicate.  We learn to compromise.  We learn to be respectful and gracious.

I try to keep Just Shy of a Y a happy place.  It is a place for family fun, food and memories.  That being said, I don't want my kids to think life is all roses and rainbows, but I want them to know that their mom and dad work to build a solid foundation.  We work to be a good example of what marriage should look like. In every area of life our kids watch us.  They mimic us.  I want our babies to know what marriage is about and how it should work.  Mostly I want Layla to know how she should be treated and I want Hayden to know how to treat his future wife.  As parents we want them to have a best friend to grow old with some day.  

"Always strive to give your spouse the very best of yourself; not whats left over after you have given your best to everyone else."  found on pint-er-est.

Why Waco?

As you know our family just moved back to Texas after living in Ohio for 2 years, and then Georgia for 1.5 years.  Before our state to state adventure we made our home in a north Fort Worth suburb. We bought our first home in Haslet.  Layla and Hayden were both born in Fort Worth just like their daddy.  I am the only non Fort Worth baby.  I was born in a little town in Texas near Waco.  I attended Clifton schools my entire school career.  Go Cubs!!

Since our recent move I've had several people ask why we decided to move to Waco.

Waco is home for us.  Waco is where our story began.  Gary moved to Waco in 4th grade and he graduated from high school at Midway.  I grew up in Clifton which is located about 30 minutes from Waco.  

I remember as a kid we traveled to Waco for everything.  Groceries, clothes and restaurants were all better in Waco, so essentially I grew up in Waco too.  I remember sitting under the shopping cart when I was a little girl.  I would ride around HEB (the best grocery store ever!) while my mom tossed groceries into the top part before checking out and loading the car to drive back to Clifton.  All the coolest clothes were in Waco.  Clifton had stores, but nothing as cool as Waco.

Gary and I met while he was attending Baylor and I was attending McLennan Community College and working at a local optical shop.  We dated for 4 years and all those years were here in Waco.   We loved Waco, but I have to say it is much cooler today than it was back when we first met.  There are tons of stores and attractions that just weren't here back in 2000.  Waco has blossomed and grown into a beautiful city with so much to offer.  

Now you know ... 

That is why Gary and I picked Waco.  We met and fell in love in Waco.  We got married on a Texas beach, but we made our first home in Waco before we decided to chase the money and move to the DFW area in 2001.  

When we found our rental home (built in the 50's and could totally be a Fixer Upper.) in Waco a few months ago we realized we have been gone from Waco for almost 16 years.  We are so excited to see this town now.  It is amazing!  We have plans to buy a 'forever' home in a year or two.  We are excited to plant roots and the kids are excited to stay in the same schools from now on.

Just so you know, since I am a foodie, my plan is to try every single fun restaurant and maybe open my own. ;)  I'll be able to give you the scoop when you plan your trip to visit our fun booming town!  

I love talking, talking is the best!

It's no secret, I'm a talker.

I'll talk to anyone.  I'll overshare sometimes.  I'll talk when I shouldn't be talking.  I'm a talker.  I love to talk and once upon a time I had an apron made by my mother that said, "Help I'm talking and I can't shut up!"  That's a true story.

I don't think talking is a bad thing.  

Gary has to be married to me and he has to put up with my talking.  He always knows how I feel unless I'm throwing a temper fit in which I promise nothing is wrong.  Then an agrument starts.  "I know you Angie, clearly the look on your face shows something is wrong."  We all know how those fights go, and for me it's just for effect.  It only happens when I get really fired up!  I'm gonna tell him what is wrong by golly.  I just need to make a production of it.

I've been talking to Layla since she was born.  That poor girl has had to listen to me for years.  At the grocery store when she was a chubby little toot in the cart seat I'd talk to her about which milk to buy.  In the produce section I'd pick up an apple and show her what it was while describing it.  I'd talk to her while driving down the road about where we were heading next.  I think she gets her talking habit from me and I do indeed hope so.  Talking matters y'all.

Hayden wasn't much of a talker as a baby, but Layla talked for him.  We always knew exactly what he wanted because big sissy took care of his every need.  "Mom, he wants out of his crib.  Mom he has stinky pants!"  Once Hayden turned 3 we couldn't keep him quiet.  He still isn't as big a talker as Layla, but I think it's a guy thing.  He gets his point across when he needs to and that boy is down right hilarious!

Thankfully we are all talkers, even the silly dogs find a way to communicate in their own way.  

As the kids get older I want the talking to continue.  I pray it continues. Communication in ANY relationship is the key.  That means communication with friends, bosses, spouses and teachers. Talk, talk, talk,

Layla is 10 and 10 gets hard y'all.  I have my own opinions of the age 10, but right now I see Layla wanting to stay little so bad, but starting to want to be more mature all at the same time.  Her opinions are very important to us and we listen and try to understand her angle while keeping in mind that she is 10.  Sometimes she can have very imaginative ideas, but I want to know what is going on if she will share.  No matter what it is I will listen and try to be objective.  I just hope she keeps talking because so far that is what keeps our family in sync. 

All this to say, if you are or have a dog, baby, child, teenager, adult or senior citizen, communication is the key to everything.  Why don't people talk?  Why can't we all just be open and honest and try to talk through anything and everything that's going on.  Most the drama on half the shows I watch are about the characters not talking and sharing their feelings.  I know, I know, that is TV and that makes for great drama.  But that is just a reference. Sometimes I just roll my eyes and scream at the characters making their lives harder than they should be.

Real life...let's talk about it, but let me have my coffee if it's early in the morning!

one day in our life

I instagrammed an entire day and it was a lot of work.  I enjoy browsing instagram, but actually posting all day is time consuming.  It will be fun to look back at our day a year from now though, so I'm glad I took the time to do it.  I wanted to share it here too!

My alarm goes off at 6:10 every morning.  I don't get up until about 6:20 though!

We get breakfast served and lunches packed and then we sit with the kids until it's time to go to school.

The kiddos get dropped off at 7:20 and then we head home to grab a cup of coffee before Gary heads to work.

The pups settle down for their morning naps.

I had to write a quick note to a friend I'm sharing oils with, so I took the time to write this while Gary showered.

I made him an egg sandwich and packed his lunch and off he went to work.

I grabbed a protein drink and sat down for some devotional time while reading.

Then it's off to the basement to workout.

Once my workout was all done I showered and did my hair and face.

I have an oil station, if you will, in my bathroom and I made up the oils I'm sharing.

Before I headed out to lunch I put a load of laundry in the wash and folded a load,

I ate a yummy Greek salad at Panera and had some girl time!

Then it was off to Kroger to grab a few items and head home to wait for the kiddos to get off the school bus.

It's been raining here for DAYS, so I snapped a picture of the sky at a stop sign!

I walked in the door and let the pups outside and someone had barfed on the couch, so I got to clean that up!  yuck!

I put dinner in the slow cooker!

And then it was 2:30 and the kids ran home from the bus stop!

We did all their homework and read for 20 minutes.

I was hungry again and while the snacked I also snacked.  I had sliced chicken and celery with hot sauce and  leftover sweet potato.

I have decided that I need to up my calories because I am not losing fat the way I'd like to since I've been lifting weights.  I upped the calories and protein and I'll start eating more tomorrow.  Hopefully this will feed my muscles more and help banish the flap!  It's worth a try and I like food! ha!

We all just laid around for a bit waiting for Gary to get home from work.

We had cream cheese chicken with saffron rice, cauliflower and baked beans.

Lily Jack wanted some food.

After dinner we all just sat around and solved the worlds problems until Hayden had to get into bed.

Layla stays up a tad bit later than Hayden.

Then we rubbed her feet with Thieves oil and tucked her into bed by 8:30.

Daisy Mae fell fast asleep while we were picking out a TV show to watch.

We settled in for our shows and I got myself a handful of candy corn!

We finally decided to hit the hay around 11:00 so we can get up and do it all over again tomorrow!

my latest job performance review

Parenting these two kiddos is my full time job.  For now it is my number one job.  I think someday I will have a work outside the home job again, but for now I am thankful I get to focus on these kiddos.  I get to be here when they get off the bus after school.  I get to be here all summer long.  

With all jobs my job can be hard.  Sometimes I feel like a glorified maid.  Sometimes I feel like a short order cook.  On those weird emotional days the mom guilt creeps into my brain and I just feel awful for moving these two kiddos from Texas to Ohio to Georgia all within a few years.  I know people move all the time, but as a kid I didn't.  I went to the same school my whole grade school career.  Our family lived in several different houses, but all in the same town.   I know I don't have to raise my kids the way I was raised.  BUT I've still felt like we could break our kids by moving them. Guess what...

They are not broken.  They may be better than I was as a kid.  

They are doing wonderful and they are loving it here in Georgia.  

How do I know this?  

Because earlier today Layla stood gazing out the window and she said, "Mom, I love it here.  I love our house and my school and my friends.  I can't wait to help you and dad get our backyard cleaned up and looking better."

She said she liked it here!!!!!

  I can't blame her.  The weather is amazing.  We live in a fun part of town near stores and fun restaurants.  We have huge trees and lakes all around us.  We have a perfect house for our family right now at this stage of our lives.  I think I'm doing ok at my job, with Gary's help of course, and we are guiding these children down the right path.

 I feel a sense of relief that us moving and starting over twice in a few years hasn't broken the children.  It's made them stronger and you know what? It's made me stronger and seeing them grow and learn and face the moving fears has helped me.  I'm learning so much about my adult self through all this.  God knows what he's doing and he knew what he was doing giving me this job of being a mom.  I think I've learned more about myself since having kids.  I'm growing up myself!

little baby pine cone

I have a short walk to school with the kids every morning.  We are lucky to live very close to the school.  Every morning on the walk back home I take in the every single bit of the scenery. 

 Mornings are crazy in our house. Kids are getting ready, eating, brushing teeth, scrambling for book bags and putting on our winter gear.  Putting on the gear adds five extra minutes to the morning routine.  Heck, sometimes ten extra minutes.  

Sooooo when I walk home kid free I enjoy the quiet walk home before I beging my day of chores.

 Today I saw this cute little baby pine cone.  I can't wait to watch it grow every few weeks.  I feel like we are so busy and sometimes I don't stop to enjoy the little things.  I have a goal to be more present in the weeks to come, even with the chaos that the holidays bring.  

This little pine cone is going to keep me grounded.  Every day I see it will be my reminder!

My two cents for today

Do you ever get sucked into pinterest?

I love pinterest quotes.  They make me happy.  When I find myself in a stressful situation I turn to reading, even if that reading is as silly as pinterest.  It makes me feel refreshed and revived.  
I won't post a ton about my personal feelings for now, but I will say moving from a big city to a small town is very different socially, as you can imagine.  It is exactly the town in which I want to raise my kids, but it is most certainly different than Fort Worth in the drama department ... if you know what I mean.  
All the experiences we encounter make us stronger.  They also make my children stronger because we all learn how to deal with personalities different from ours.  In closing, even if we as individuals feel scared or week or bullied at school, we come home to our safe place and bond as a family.  Our family unit is all that matters in the end.  
{All that being said, we are fine, just learning and growing and that is the best and most important part of life!  My job as a parent is to give my children "Roots and Wings."  They will see how I choose to deal with social situations and they will grow and learn by example.}

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

first world problems and one year

I am so irritated with my laptop right now.  

I usually use iCloud and have all my photos from my phone uploaded to Picasa and then to private web albums for storage.  I then post blog posts from my laptop.  I can't get my pictures to upload to iCloud and I can't find my memory card for my Canon camera.  I lost it.  In all my years of having a camera I've never lost the card.  I'm so sad because the fall leaves look amazing right now.   I think Lily ate the card, and I'm not following her around for a week to retrieve a memory card.  

Why the whining?  

To me it looks like all my pictures are blurry when I post from my phone.  I don't get it.  It's a real bummer.  I have deleted iCloud and reinstalled it.  I have reinstalled Picasa.  I'm so over this tech business.  

I got a new phone and ended up losing all my contacts because I accidentally deleted iCloud.  SCREAMMMMMM!  Whatever you do, don't get comfortable with something, because before you know it, it will change.  

I WILL get my blogging system back down.  I love my laptop and I don't want to journal from my phone anymore.  I want to edit the pics and make them fun.

I can't take the time to get my computer figured out because every waking moment I am not trying to raise two kids and two dogs I am scanning, email and/or faxing things to Texas for the closing of our house there.  The gosh darn house had substantial water damage and so we've been dealing with the insurance company to get that repaired.  Construction is underway.  Seriously, were talking all new walls, tile, carpet and even kitchen cabinets.  Big time issues going on down there in Tejas.   We are trying to close and be done with it all in November and now the HOA is being all weird about HOA dues.  I am so over this two household business.  It's a pain in my butt.  Once it's all over I am throwing a party, but I'll be to tired to actually follow through do it.   I could write a book about how crappy the whole situation has been.  It's ridiculous.

I've been dealing with this for over a year.  Yes!  We have lived here one year on November 1st!!  It's so exciting.  I look back and think about what an amazing year it has been.  We've met some awesome people and I am so thankful for every single person I have met.  It's been a blast!

Also I am thankful to not be complaining about our first house here anymore.  If you didn't know I hated that house with a purple passion.  It was all in the plan and it made me super thankful for what I have now.  I am finally in a place where I want to stay for awhile.  We don't own this house, but we are making it home and making some pretty fun memories here.  The thought of buying a home right now makes me want to vomit.  I'll just do fun decorative things to make this place OUR home.  I'm so thrilled to decorate for Christmas!

And now I am off to try to figure out my laptop. :-) 

Us lately. A random update.

Fall is setting in here in Ohio and I couldn't be happier.  

I seriously don't know if I can be talked into EVER moving back to Texas.  It's just so hot there and I am spoiled by these AMAZING temperatures.  This to me is the perfect weather.  High of 72 and low of 50 at night.  I'm in my happy place with these fall temps.

Every now and then a huge group of leaves will fall from the trees in our yard.  I just assumed they would all fall off all at once, but they randomly fall and the kids giggle as the leaves hit their faces. 

Speaking of random....it's been awhile since I've written a random post.  

I'm pretty good at posting our day to day lives, but the random posts take a few extra minutes.  I've been so busy since the start of school and sadly I've put posting to our blog on the back burner.

Monday nights Layla has soccer practice, Tuesday night she takes a tumbling and hip hop class.  Wednesday nights are our free night to relax and catch up.  Thursday night Hayden has soccer practice and Layla practices with the girls traveling soccer team.  Friday nights we usually hang with friends and then the weekend is just whatever. This Sunday we begin fall soccer games.  It seems like we never stop, but we are all happy and loving our schedule.  

Gary is keeping super busy with work.  His travel schedule is about to slow down, but he's been going non-stop.  He is loving his job and it seems to be going great.  He found a position that fits him perfectly and although it is stressful at times he loves it.  I'm so happy he loves what he does.

Hayden is loving kindergarten.  He's learning lots of stuff, including ABC's and 123's.  He is learning how to treat others and hopefully one day he will be able to tell me is friends names.  He can't remember names just like his daddy.  His imagination is certainly growing, as he loves to tell 'tall-tales.'  He can make up some pretty far fetched stories and sometimes I have to wonder what is true and what is imaginary.  His soccer skills are progressing very well.  All summer he practiced his golf swing, and now as often as he can he is outside kicking the soccer ball.

Layla is doing great in Third grade.  She isn't digging math, but loves science, social studies and really loves reading and writing stories. Her spelling skills are awesome.  She takes after Gary when it comes to spelling.  I'm a terrible speller.  She loves dance and I'm shocked by her drive for soccer.  As I mentioned earlier, she was asked to practice with the girls travel team.  I think she was blown away by how good some of the girls are.  I thought she'd be intimidated by them, heck, I was.  She wants to get better and she loves to learn.  After just one practice we could tell a difference in her skills.  I hope she decides to stick with it, but I'm not forcing her to do anything she doesn't want to.  We might gently nudge her, but I want her to be happy and do soccer because she really wants to.

I am adjusting to having both kids in school.  I felt like I'd have so much time to just sit around and eat bon-bons, but I don't.  I'm busier than ever.  If my people would just stop wearing clothes my job would be 50 times easier.  I'm drowning in laundry 85 percent of the time.  I'm trying to go to Zumba/Boot Camp three mornings a week.  It puts me in a great mood and I'm so happy to be able to go.  Also this fall I've finally gotten things done for me, doctor, dentist and hair appointments...you know just stuff us moms sometimes put off in the summertime.  

Daisy and Lily are loving this weather.  They run and play and wrestle in the backyard.  The cooler weather makes them frisky.  Lily has escaped from our yard many times lately.  She is letting the PetSafe in-ground fence shock her and then she busts through it to chase squirrels.  She's run away too many times lately.  She is literally in the dog house.  She ran into a wooded area behind our house on Monday and scraped her paw pretty badly.  That slowed her down for a day or two, but now she is ready to explore again.  I went to Lowe's and got the 'stubborn dog' collar and now she is a little easier to keep around.  I hate to make her wear it, but seriously, we live right beside a road.  She will get hurt really bad if she gets too far away from home.

After living here almost a year, I think we are all over the initial shock of living in a new town.  We are all thriving and loving small town life.  We defiantly like the house we are living in much better than our house downtown.  Sometimes I miss walking to school with some of our downtown buddies, but all in all we are much happier having a big yard to run and play in.

Sadly our house in Texas still hasn't sold.  It is under contract and we where thrilled to be signing on the dotted line to sell it for good this next week....UNTIL...the inspector didn't turn the water BACK off after the buyers inspection.  A vacant house shouldn't have water turned on in my opinion.  The refrigerator malfunctioned/leaked and water damaged the entire house.  The mistake wasn't caught for about 10 days.  You can imagine water leaking into a hot house in Texas for that long.  

So yea, we are dealing with that crap.  It's a hot mess.  I'm so over the homeowner experience; it is not the American dream in my opinion.  UGH!  One of these days we will be free from that house.  I'm choosing to stay positive when it comes to that topic.  I can easily cry a river if I let myself.  I just can't believe we have so many memories there, but it is causing us so many problems.  

On a lighter note,

Football season is in full swing and it is so fun to cheer for our Texas teams while watching our friends here cheer for their favorite teams nearby.  Baylor plays West Virginia and that game should be super fun to watch with some of our friends who love WVU.  All my buddies are trying to convert me to Buckeyes fan, but I can't do it.  I can't wear red.

I'm excited for football nights with friends and bonfires roasting marshmallows.  I think burning a pumpkin candle while cooking dinner tonight put me over the edge when it comes to fall.  I'm really enjoying having my windows open here in the house.  Having my windows open in Texas was a favorite thing, but we only got to do it for a few days.  It seems like it was always too hot to open the windows.  Anyway, I'm loving the fresh air and it defiantly puts me in a  great mood.  I love waking up and adding an extra blanket in the middle of the night!

Bring on the chilly weather and all things fall and winter, especially soups and chili!!  Hopefully I'll find time to try some new recipes and post them.  Nothing makes me happier than cooking and taking pictures of my food!!