We haven't had much in the way of "finest hours" during our run of delightfully irreverent 'Spy-Hunter events, so I don't expect any of you to be surprised by our sad performance in Team Fortress 2. A lot of that has to do with the fact that TF2 is a finesse game that requires tactical thinking and tight team dynamics... but the rest of that has to do with the fact that we kind of suck at games in general. Well, maybe not my boss, the honourable Bryn Williams (who's from England, hence the misspelling of "honorable"), but unfortunately even his mighty online prowess cannot offset the almost Keystone Cops-esque fumbling of his lackeys. Thanks for letting us shackle you with incompetence, chief!
Obviously, I'm joking (but only a very little bit).
Nice Unit
This time out, I was actually on vacation for the matches, so the video capture that you can view below was taken from our own Patrick Joynt's 360. You know what? I never realized how bad Patrick was at these games until I reviewed the footage to cut together the video feature. And to think, all this time I've been railing on Sterling as the anchor dragging us down when we had two! Of course, I'd had my suspicions after our last Halo 3 'Spy-Hunter in which Patrick nailed me in the back of the head with a sniper rifle... while we were on the same team! Well, below you can view genuine video proof of Patrick's inability to figure out that a flamethrower simply doesn't work under water (but to be fair, he did get it the second time around).
With both Sterling and Patrick weighing us down, it's no wonder that GameSpy performed poorly in these latest matches. Still, there are flashes of brilliance tucked away within our video. A perfect example of this is when Patrick rolls up on a scout that appeared to be on our team and dropped a melee attack on that extraordinarily delicate place where the skull meets the top of the spinal column. When I first saw this, I was shocked. "Team killer!" I cried in the small dark room the video team locks me inside whenever I have to edit something... until I watched a little longer and discovered that Patrick saw what I failed to notice: that scout was a spy! Bravo, Patrick, good lookin' out.
Something you might notice as you watch the video is that you can't hear our usual com chatter because I guess Patrick forgot to output the headset audio to the speakers. Oh well, it's not like we say anything magically spectacular, but I was hoping that there would be at least one 'Spy-Hunter where you guys got to hear me talk. See, when I'm recording the matches, you can't hear any of my amazingly witty comments during gameplay because Xbox Live filters out your own voice. While I'm thankful that this feature exists (after the dreaded echo mic effect that sometimes occurred on Live and gave me a taste of my own voice, over and over again), it makes it almost impossible for anyone to hear what I say during the game. This was my one chance to deliver the gift of my melodious voice to you all and Patrick ruined it. Thanks for nothing, jerk.
Then again, now that I think about it, you could hear me talk each week in our magnificently priceless podcast, and that project was spearheaded by Mr. Patrick Joynt. So now my feelings are all mixed up and once again I find myself conflicted. I wish things were simple again and it was just Sterling stinking up our team...
