A free trip story

A friend of mine asked me why in the rarest of occasion when I do write, it’s quite certain that I will be bashing the country.  Well, let’s deviate from that for this one… though, not exactly much…

A story was relayed to me when I was back at my KL office last week.  I have heard of such stories being circulated via word of mouth and you probably did to.  But to actually hear it first hand… that was quite something…

The mother of a colleague of mine is a member of this association, which shall remain unnamed.  Just to be clear, it is not a political association. And so, this association sent out a notice telling all its members that a free trip is available for anyone who is available on the trip date.

It’s a free day-trip to a local destination that covers everything – and my colleague’s mom thought… why not?  The free trip is not only open to the association’s members, but family members as well.  My colleague; being a filial daughter, decided to accompany her mom.

And so, the day arrived.  All the uncles and aunties together with so and so who tagged along for the free trip all happily boarded the bus, looking forward to a day of fun, fully paid. 

As soon as the bus hit the road though… things took a twist…

The supposed tour guide then announced in the bus saying that the free trip has been cancelled.  Instead, everyone in the bus has now been given the “supreme privilege” to meet a VVIP of the country.  Everyone was “carefully selected” for this supreme privilege… so it seems…

That’s not all.  Everyone will also be given a free T-shirt to wear during the meeting with this VVIP and... get paid!  Wow, things just get better isn’t it?  From a trip to a trip where you will get paid…

There is a catch though… in order to earn this supreme privilege and obtain payment, everyone must clap when the VVIP arrives and… and… and… sing a song!  If you do not know how to sing… not a problem at all.  It will be taught to everyone during the journey.

You may be asking... how can one learn a song within such a short period of time? Well, it is a very simple song.  Similar to the ABC song... this is actually a number song.  In fact, it's much simpler... instead of having to sing all the numbers, you only need to say only "satu"...

This song... a lot of the word "satu" in it.

(satu = one in Malay).

Of course, that free t-shirt has got a big “1” printed on it.  Something tells me you know what is the word that comes after 1.

All the uncles and aunties with their innocent tag-alongs were sent to some school where the VVIP arrived and everyone was to clap and of course… sing the important “satu” song.  Apparently, there other buses arriving from other places… seemingly bring other souls who thought they were going for free trips.

It was a cheerful atmosphere.  People clapped and sang and at the end of the day, everyone was paid… MYR20.  Apparently, the VVIP said during his speech that he was so happy that many came to support him.

Woooaah… free bus ride, free t-shirt, free singing lesson, meet a VVIP and now… free money! Where to find!

I don’t know about you but that sure beat a free trip anytime… next time you hear of anyone getting free trips, be sure to join them ya… you might just get this supreme privilege.

Those videos shouldn’t make you laugh

By now, I am sure many would have watched the now famous video clips of how the MACC lawyer questioned Dr. Porntip in court. If you have haven’t watched, go have a good laugh here.

I am not going to make any jokes about the clips, as I think there are already a multitude of jokes cracked in respect of the lawyer who represents the MACC, who represents the govt.

If you are a Malaysian, and having watched that video… besides laughing your ass off, I am of the zewtpinion that you should be very afraid.

Such is not the only quality of lawyers in the country; such is also the quality of teachers, nurse, doctors and probably a host of other professionals produced by the current Malaysian administration.

Hence, you should be very afraid because…

Such is the quality of the teachers that are teaching or going to teach your children…

Such is the quality of doctors who are going to treat you or your family…

Such is the quality of the engineers who are going to build your home…

Such is the quality…I have personally attended a conference in Malaysia where the Minister (he is still at his post) pronounced “property development” as… I kid you not… “poverty development”… he repeated that again and again… “poverty development”, till giggles started getting obvious. On hindsight, perhaps that’s the secret agenda of the ministry.

Of course, if you are rich and able to afford private services, you can escape from the system. But how many of people out there who are rich enough to afford that? Remember, it’s “poverty development”.

I have previously blogged in a subtle manner that the Malaysian public healthcare system is near collapsed or is already collapsed (safe for a few quality doctors still available). The education system is heading there, if not already there.

So after laughing at that moron, and Malaysians really like to laugh at such things at mamak while eating that nice roti-canai and nasi-lemak, you might want to think of the quality that you are going to get in Malaysia If the country doesn’t change.

I seriously do think… “poverty development” is going full blast.


1 year ago… What a timely reflection… Did they pour oil on it?

Friday Physio Frolic

I managed to walk much better now so I decided to venture out for lunch today. My colleagues took me to his hawker centre about 10 minutes walk from my office. I have to admit, I was quite surprised to see such set-up amidst the Singapore Central Business District.

It’s does feels weird having to celebrate my birthday with crutches. After dinner, I had to pick up my additional legs and the guy at the restaurant looked at me in a funny way…

Oh yeah… another year older wiser for me… spent in the little red dot…

Friday is here… let me share something that I came up with…

What is physiotherapy?

“It’s nurses in uniform making you go… ohh, ohhh, ahh, uhhhhhhh, ahhh, ahhh, hmmmmm…. Ahhh ahhhh…..hmmmmm…argghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” – Zewt

Have a brilliant weekend



1 year ago… Some Malaysians are brainless morons

2 years ago… 30 things we learned when we turned 30

Like student once again

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of being a student once again. Actually, it has been the case for slightly more than 2 weeks now. I had an exam yesterday and in the last couple of weeks, I have been frantically doing last minute revision studying.

Waiting outside the exam hall, the whole scenario just brought back the good ‘ol memories. Congregated at one corner were those who continued to dig into the reading materials, as though these are results changing reading. At the other end of the spectrum are those who sat down looking cool without reading thing.

I sat with the latter as I don’t believe in stressing yourself before the exam.

And of course, one of the reasons I don’t do such last minute reading is – it was an open book exam.

Speaking of which, the girl sitting in front of me came with a cabin-size luggage. A. Cabin-size. Luggage! Emerging from her luggage were stacks of reading materials, 2 text books, 1 dictionary and a whole load of notes. And there I was, with 5 bundles of paper, which were essentially the given reading materials, nothing more.

As I was allocated a seat right at the back, I managed to catch a good view of the other candidates. Not trying to sexist here but generally (focus on the word “generally”), the guys will just have the study materials folder like I did while the girls will bring their whole study room to the exam hall.

When I was in university, the guys will come together and organise the next football session. The girls will congregate and started comparing their answers and then proclaim to everyone that they might fail.

It would appear that evolution has failed to penetrate this segment of the human species.

As soon as we were released, the first thing that the girl in front of me said to her friend was …”I didn’t finish the questions, I think I will fail.

As I head to the toilet, the guys inside there were arranging their lunch appointment.

Outside the male toilet, there was a long queue outside the female toilet. While waiting, some were frantically comparing answers and debating who is wrong and who is right. Then I heard one of them said… “I think we are both wrong, sure fail lah”.

Some things really never change.



1 year ago… An unexpected apology

2 years ago… A glimpse on my childhood

3 years ago… Chronicles of morons

They can't order

A bunch of students walked into a chicken rice restaurant. Having browsed through the menu and decided on what they want, they started to centralise their orders to a particular person known as S in their group…

“S, I want chicken breast rice please” – Shervina Chan said.
“I want chicken breast and roast pork” – Antonio Lim.
“Drumstick for me, de-bone please” – Luke Lau.
“Just chicken rice, any parts will do” – Samantha Yap.
“I am not eating. Just want a drink. Barley ice” – Brenda Wong.

The owner came to the table and S started ordering…
“Hui oi kai hoong. Hui leh jau kai hoong siew yok. Yi go oi kai pei, hui guat. Yi go kai fan, meh doh tuck. Hui jau mo sik, bei pui yim mai ping”

The restaurant owner just stared blankly at S. Do you know why?

Because S, the person who ordered, stands for Subramaniam.


2 years ago… A day in Paris… Lawatan ke sekolah dan syabas Kementerian Luar Negeri

3 years ago… 2nd chance with Mom: Why it is enough

Short & Sweet: Ep. 7 - Bicycle

Someone sent me this………
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Be mindful of the colour of your bicycle seat…



2 years ago… To prove that I am good

Those e-mail addresses

I was talking to someone today and asked for that someone’s gmail address to be added into my chat list. I was given:-

jin.long-chan@gmail.com (name has been changed)

My reaction was… gee, why is the e-mail so freaking formal? It’s like a freaking working mail type of address. Don’t you think so?

I was told that this particular e-mail is used for formal purposes, predominantly… application for jobs. And then it hit me! Indeed, one should really have a more proper e-mail address when applying for jobs.

While I was recruiting someone into my team last year, some of the e-mails of the applicants are… how should I put it… professionally inappropriate?

Can you imagine someone applying for a manager position and that someone’s e-mail is… crazy_orange@hotmail.com?

Maybe, it shows the openness and adventurous side of the applicant. Or perhaps, it is craziness in doing work. Maybe you are a health freak and you are crazy about orange. But at the end of the day, it just feels weird.

I just ran through the CVs that I received and there are 2 that deserve a mention (domain has been changed)……

The first…haha-linlin@yahoo.com. No, the first one has got nothing to do that that applicant’s name. On hindsight, maybe it shows that the applicant has got a very bubbly character. But then… linlin… no connection to that applicant’s name… hmmmm…

Second… cutecute_kwan@hotmail.com. Try not to apply for senior professional position with such e-mail address, particularly when you attach your photo along. Enough said.


2 years ago… The changes, the expected changes and the unchanged

3 years ago… Prioritise life

Where Kilkenny became kill Kenny

True story…

Terence was having lunch with his colleagues when he got a call on his mobile. A quick glance and it showed that it was from an unfamiliar number.

“Hello” he answered.
“Siapa ni?” (Who’s this?)
“Kamu yang panggil saya. Kamu siapa?”
(You are the one who called me. Who’re you?)
“Ini serius. Saya tengah buat siasatan. Apa nama kamu?”
(This is serious. I am doing an investigation. What’s your name?)
“Siasatan? Siasat apa?” Terence thought it might be a gotcha call.
(Investigation? Investigate what?)

There was a slight pause…

“Ini Inspektor Halim dari cawangan X. Ada orang buat laporan polis yang kamu ni pembunuh upahan. Saya nak nama dan nombor kad pengenalan kamu sekarang”
(This is Inspector Halim from X branch. There was a police report saying that you are an assassin for hire. I want your name and identity card number now)

This was when Terence felt a bit uneasy as the tone of the voice didn’t sound as though they were from Hitz.fm. Hitz.fm is a local radio channel notorious in making prank calls. He apologised and informed Inspector Halim that he will have to verify his number before he discloses his details.

A quick check with the police headquarters in Bukit Aman confirmed that the call was indeed made from branch x police station. Terence nearly pissed in his pants.

What happened was --- Terence was in a pub drinking Kilkenny the day before. The pub was having a good deal where you get 2 Kilkenny for the price of 1. By the way, Kilkenny is a very famous Irish beer.

Such a good deal prompted Terence to sms “Kilkenny, 2 for the price of 1” to a friend named Gavin. In perhaps his tipsy-ness, Terence sent the sms to the wrong Gavin. Now, this is where it gets interesting…

Apparently, the wrong Gavin has terminated that number. Apparently, that particular number was recycled by the telecommunication operator and was acquired by this person, let’s call her (yes, it’s a she) Moron. Apparently, the Moron had a fight with her boss the day before. And apparently, the name of Moron’s boss was… Kenny!

When the Moron received an anonymous sms saying “Kilkenny, 2 for the price of 1”, she thought someone was offering to kill her boss (i.e. Kenny) for her. And the Moron… went and made a police report!

And so, poor Terence had to explain to the police that he doesn’t know the Moron, nor Kenny. And certainly, he is not a hitman for hire offering his service to kill Kenny. And not just any killing, 2 for the price of 1! When trying to explain the Kilkenny is actually a beer, the Moron even said that she is a drinker but has not heard any beer name Kilkenny before. Now you know why I call her Moron with a capital M.

On one hand, kudos to the police for taking police reports seriously. On the other hand, why didn’t the police investigate the Moron? For someone to have an argument and then made a police report when the word “kill” was mentioned, the Moron certainly have something in her mind, don’t you think?

Whatever it is, make sure you say “Kilkenny, the beer, 2 for the price of 1” the next time any of you intend to send such sms out.


1 year ago… “Doh Yu”

2 years ago… A take at the scandal

It can't what???

We all know this country never fail to surprise us. But this has got to be one of the best… one of the very best…

We have helicopters that can’t really fly.
We have toilets that can't flush.
We have power window that can't move.
And now…


MALAYSIA SAYS FIRST SUBMARINE UNABLE TO DIVE

KUALA LUMPUR, Feb 11 (AFP) - Malaysia's first submarine, a European-made Scorpene delivered last September, has developed problems that make it unfit for diving, the defence minister said Thursday.

The KD Tunku Abdul Rahman sailed into a grand reception last year as the first of two commissioned from French contractor DCNS and Spain's Navantia for a total of 3.4 billion ringgit (961 million dollars).

Named after the country's first prime minister, it was hailed as an important acquisition despite opposition allegations of corruption in the deal.

"The submarine can still dive but when we detected the defects, we were advised that it should not dive," Defence Minister Ahmad Zahid Hamidi told reporters.

"The (parts found with) defects are still under warranty so the supplier and contractor are repairing them," he added.

Navy chief Abdul Aziz Jaafar said a problem first emerged in the submarine's cooling system last December. After being fixed, another defect was identified in a different system last month.

"We hope it can dive again after February 18 so we can carry out the tropical water trials," Abdul Aziz told reporters.

The navy chief said the second submarine, the KD Tun Razak which is named after the nation's second premier, is expected to arrive from France on May 31. It was originally scheduled for delivery in late 2009.

The two submarines have attracted controversy since the deal was signed in 2002.

Malaysia's opposition claims that a 540-million-ringgit commission was paid to a close associate of Prime Minister Najib Razak in brokering the contract. Najib has denied there was any corruption in the deal, which was made when he was defence minister.


1 year ago… An original pick-up line

2 years ago… 2 true remarks… London Chinese New Year discovery

3 years ago… No time?

The father, the son and a birthday party

A 5-year-old boy went to his father and asked…

“Dad, are you organising a party for my coming birthday?”
“Sure son, you know I love you very much”
“Dad, may I invite my ex-girlfriend to the party?”

5-year-old… not girlfriend but… EX-girlfriend…

“Sure. But first, tell me what is ex-girlfriend?”
“Ex-girlfriend is the girl I used to like and take care of her. But now, I don’t like her anymore”
“Why don’t you like her anymore?”
“Because I like another girl now”

This boy has for talent I’m telling you…
Anyone out there asked whether your daughter has got an ex-boyfriend?


2 years ago… You pee I pee he pees she pees

3 years ago… Beyond the smashes… Modern Slavery

Short & Sweet: Episode 2 - Screw

Even when you are having a really bad day…
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Someone will still screw you!



1 year ago… The great tribulation

2 years ago… Will you attend?… The healthy diet triathlon

Those babes and their…

As I have briefly mentioned, I spent a short stint working in China a few years ago. That short stint was filled with many eye opening and experiences. One of which was when I asked to play in the inter-department football tournament.

The guy who got me into the team was this man by the name of Feng (mandarin for “wind”). Feng is the person who handled my work permit and other immigration related matters.

The entire team can’t really pronounce my English name. I am fine with people addressing me in my Cantonese name but to be called in Mandarin was rather weird. Hence, I am known as “shi-chi-hao” (number 17), the number of my jersey.

And so, we were in our final group match. And because it was a match that we had to win, my fellow teammates managed to gather some reinforcements. They came in the form of female colleagues who were kind enough to act as our cheerleading team.

Well, some of them were pretty hot looking. So I told my then colleague who is also a Malaysian and also happened to be in the team with me that it was the first time I ever had such a competitive match with proper pitch, referee, pre-match procedure and now… hot looking china dolls as pom-pom girls.

Quite a good feeling I must say…

And so we took our position on the pitch and got ready for the kick-off. The girls cheered and just then… just right then… a few of them did this…
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“krrraaaaakk…… ptui!”

They freaking spit around like machine guns. No matter how hot looking they were, the “ptui!” action just turned you off immediately.


1 year ago… If your boss wants to axe you

2 years ago… 10 Nov: A day to remember

Perils of direct translation

I am sure many of you have read last Friday’s post regarding an unfortunate banana. And there appears to be a debate on the true definition of a “banana”. We all have our very own interpretation. Some are of the opinion that knowing a Chinese dialect means one is no longer a banana. Ability to read or write is irrelevant.

I tend to disagree. In my zewtpinion, inability to read or write the Chinese language makes one a banana. If you know a particular dialect, it only reduces the degree of your banana-ness. Hence, I am a banana too; just that my banana-ness is within control. You may disagree.

But anyway…

June is a true blue banana. She grew up in an English speaking family and attended international school. But unlike some bananas out there, she knows that she should learn up the language and constantly makes effort in reducing her banana-ness.

During her college days, June often mixed around with a bunch of Cantonese speaking friends. This gave her the opportunity to buck up her Cantonese.

One fine day, June and her friends went to a coffee shop for lunch. Out a sudden, June asked her friends…

“How do you say breast in Cantonese?”
“Lin-ku lah, hahahahaha!” (It’s called lin-ku) A friend replied.

June then stood up, walked to the chicken rice store and said…

“Aunty, ngo oi kai lin ku fan”

I am afraid you must know Cantonese to appreciate this…


1 year ago… Are you still chasing?

Joseph, the unfortunate banana

Joseph is a typical “xiang-jiao-ren” (banana). For the uninformed, a “banana” usually means a Chinese who does not know how to speak the Chinese language. And Joseph is one of such, able to only converse in English.

One day, Joseph returned to his home after work, just like usual. As he walked towards his home having parked his car, Joseph was stopped by 2 men. These 2 men began to ask Joseph some questions in Mandarin.

As they were smiling and appeared to be polite, Joseph tried to respond to them. Of course, he couldn’t really understand what these 2 men were asking and tried to explain himself in English instead. Hence, for a good few minutes; there was a classic chicken and duck talk situation.

After a while, these 2 men became rowdy. Joseph could see that they looked irritated. All of a sudden, one of the men pulled out a “parang” (long knife) and started threatening Joseph. But still, Joseph was unable to comprehend what they wanted as they were speaking in Mandarin.

Instinct came upon him that he was being robbed and hence, he took out his wallet and mobile-phone and gave them to the men. To his surprise, those men threw away his wallet and mobile-phone and continue to threaten him with the “parang”, shouting at him in Mandarin.

Poor Joseph, he just couldn’t make up what those men want. Worse, the 2 men got so annoyed, they started to attack him. They kicked, punched and slashed him with the “parang”. This went on for a while, till Joseph was floored.

As Joseph was rolling on the ground trying to block kicks directed at him, he felt a small bulge in his pocket. It was his car key. It was then that it dawned upon Joseph that the 2 men wanted his car. In a flash, Joseph took out his car-key and desperately handed it to the 2 men.

One of the men grabbed his key, shouted something to Joseph (in Mandarin of course) and drove away his car.

For all those bananas out there, particularly those who are proud that they only speak English, do take note that your banana-ness may just get you killed. In the land of sumptuous food, criminals tend to only speak everything but English.

And ya’ know what? Criminals and sumptuous food in this land share one similarity… there are plenty of them out there…


2 years go…. Can you take it easy?… A state of many people

Delay No More

I actually didn’t manage to take that many pictures of the food I had in HK. Reason being, the first thought that came to mind was to eat them as soon as they are on the table. They looked so yummy, the instinct to snap a pic only came after the food is half way in my digestive system.

Anyway, I manage to snap this, a very special breed of mooncake. Click to enlarge… check out the DIY… haha!!

Also, there is this new concept in HK, known as “Delay No More”. You can see things like… Do it now, Delay No More… Recycle, Delay No More… Stop smoking, Delay No More… etc.

But, I was informed that “Delay No More” actually means something else. It actually rhyme with a particular Cantonese phrase.

Can you guess what it is? Come… make a guess, Delay No More… hehe…

2 years ago… 3 tales…

Hmmm… who rang the door bell?

This is a true story…

Ben and Jerry were sent for an outstation assignment. Having arrived at their destination late in the evening after a long drive, they immediately checked into their designated hotel. Due to cost consideration, Ben and Jerry were made to share room. Since the room was pretty big and they have separate single beds, there were no issues.

(Note: Just in case you’re wondering, no, this is not some homosexual related story…)

And so they went for dinner, explored the town a little and headed back to their hotel since it was getting late, and they have to commence work rather early the next day.

Upon returning to their room, Ben went to shower while Jerry started unpacking his stuff. While Ben was showering, Jerry heard… “Ding… Dong…”… someone rang the doorbell. Naturally, Jerry went to check who it was…

……… there was…… no one.

Trying not to think too deep into the matter, Jerry closed the door and continued to unpack his stuff.

“Ding… dong…” …the doorbell rang … once again… and again, Jerry went and check to see who it is at the door and again………there was no one.

A wave of uneasy feeling began to fill Jerry but he tried to dismiss the peculiar situation. As soon as he got back to his unpacking duty, it happened… once again… “Ding…dong”……At this point, Jerry was really feeling the chill down his spine.

Just then, Ben stepped out from his shower and could immediately recognise the disturbed look on Jerry’s face. Ben inquired and Jerry told him what happened. Initially, Ben thought Jerry was trying to pull a fast one on him but after observing Jerry’s reaction, he knew Jerry wasn’t joking.

“By the way, the doorbell just rang. Maybe you can go and see if it’s a joke” Jerry said.

Ben plucked his courage and went to see if anyone was playing a trick on them. He opened the room door, went out for a while and returned to Jerry… with an absolutely pale face.

“Errr… what happened? See anything?” Jerry asked.
“Nothing. But you know what?”
“What?” Jerry asked again.
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Stuttering while answering Jerry, Ben replied…
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“This room has got no doorbell…”

No no no no no… this is not the end of this “true” story yet… because it was then that it happened once again… “Ding… dong”.

Immediately, Ben turned to his right and there it was… he saw it…
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It was Ben’s phone’s ringing tone…

P/S: Many thanks to PetiteLass for these 2 lovely awards.


2 years ago… An outdated zewtpinion

I absolutely definitely surely will believe

Wow! This is getting exciting! Do you know that a new blog by the name of “Truth for Teoh Beng Hock” is in town? The owner of the blog is unknown but he/she is claiming that the Teoh was killed by his own party… DAP!

The “reasoning” is that Teoh was about to expose the “massive” corruption in the Selangor PR govt but DAP somehow managed to get to him first before he can said anything. Don’t play-play, there are even scanned documents in that blog for your reading pleasure.

Do I believe this blog? Hmmmm… let’s see… let’s digest this to see if I get it right.

That blog is saying that while Teoh was being interrogated for more than 10 hours in the MACC building, DAP somehow managed to send in some high level assassin. Not only that, these assassins killed Teoh and got out without MACC’s knowledge. Wow… don’t mess with DAP, they have a few Jason Bourne(s) up their sleeve.

Oh wait… maybe… the MACC is actually working for DAP! Ahhhh… it all makes sense now. That’s why MACC never investigate Khir Toyo. Remember how Khir agreed to pay some DAP MP if his mansion can be sold for some tens of millions? Actually right… they “pakat” already. That’s why lah… DAP ordered the MACC not to investigate Khir Toyo, so that DAP can get the commission.

Gee… it’s just so clear now isn’t it?

Wow! Now I think DAP has been planning the demise of Anwar! You know why?

The last time Anwar “failed to turn up” for some questioning, the govt sent almost the entire police force to arrest him. But now right, with evidence of “massive” corruption in DAP, the entire police and army plus a few MIG 29s should have been deployed to bust DAP’s ass! But that didn’t happen!

Oh no!!! You know why?... DAP is in control of the police and army too! How come I didn’t see it earlier! Damn it! They are the bastards who ordered the arrest of Anwar ala special task force fashion. Damn you DAP!

I am really mad now. I feel so stupid! And because of this, I am going to believe whatever scanned documents in that blog. Doesn’t matter even if those documents are plain word document or excel sheet with no signature or whatsoever. It doesn’t matter because clearly, DAP is at fault.

Those of you who are demanding DAP for an answer. Yes, here I come to join your force! Let’s forget about getting an answer from the govt, let us just focus on getting an answer from DAP. Yes, that’s right... !

Yes, because of this one blog, I now believe that DAP is evil.


1 year ago… 5 reasons we won’t be nuke-d… Wrong and again I was wrong… A candle epic

2 years ago… The sponge and the dirty spoon… We probably deserve it… More but less…

Why English is truly “UNIVERSE”-sal

The broo-hah regarding English being the language for certain subjects is still on-going. Riding on that notion, allow me to share with you why English is truly a “Universe”-sal language…
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Spock!!!When Spock addresses the Vulcan council, he spoke in English. A race so advance and intelligent like the Vulcans decided that they should speak… English!

The Romulans… Their spaceship captain also has an English name… Captain Neo! And you would expect he would have a Romulan name… no… it’s Neo!

Megatron!!! When he flew up to space to converse with “The Fallen”, with no humans around… they chose to speak in…yes, you guessed it right… English!

Treebeard!!! Just when you think only flesh and blood (red or green) speaks English… think again… Even tree speaks English!

Yes… long ago, in a galaxy, far far away… and mind you, they were already speaking in… yes, English! And clearly, the English language was still at its infant stage… as you can tell from Yoda’s grammar…

So, do you believe now that English is indeed a “Unverse”-sal language?


1 year ago… The arrest and losing my premier virginity…

2 years ago… And to sum it all up…

Manglish or Engrish or ... whatever

For some very strange reason, I can log on to blogger though my office has blocked blogpost for a couple of weeks. So I am now in a bizarre situation where I can blog from my blogger home page but unable to view my blogspot page... bizarre isn’t it?

Anyway…

There are a lot of hoo-haas going around about some decision where some subjects in some school at some level will now be taught in BM instead of English. I am not going to blog about it, at least not in a serious manner. It’s Friday and I don’t want to stress my brain.

But speaking about the command of English, did you watch the repeat of MJ’s memorial service on Wednesday night, shown on 8TV?

For the uninformed, 8TV was having this thing where one can sms your farewell note to MJ to 8TV and it will broadcasted on 8TV during the memorial. And ya’ know, all the sms-es were written in English… errr… I mean… Engrish, or Mangrish (or whatever you want to call it).

And there they were… farewell notes to MJ… displayed on national television… written by people whose country is still thinking on whether English should be a compulsory “pass” in SPM… atrocious would be an understatement.

But the gem of them all has to be… “Mecheal Jakson, I am u biggest fan. I will miss u”

I seriously wonder if MJ does understand most notes posted there.

And ya’ know what? During Madonna’s memorial service (no offence, just an example), Malaysians will be sending messages like…

“Maradona, I am u biggest fan. I will miss u”


1 year ago… Teens raised dead baby in Guatemala… Gym tales – female version

2 years ago… Orgasm comparison

Sex 101: Basic instructions are essential

Case 1

A couple for married and after 3 years of marriage, the wife still failed to conceive. They started talking to friends and exchange ideas on the timing and technique of performing the bedroom-deeds in order to improve the chance of getting a child. Despite all that, there was no result. Not even a hint of result.

Left with no choice, they decided to seek medical help. A fertility test on the husband showed that he was perfectly normal. But lo and behold, the doctor’s examination on the wife showed that she was… still a virgin!

Apparently, the effort to create new soul turned futile as the pole has been entering the wrong hole.

I know it’s bizarre but hey, did you read the news about this German guy who is suing his neighbour whom he employed to have sex with his wife because he failed to impregnate his wife? Like I said… anything is possible in this world…

Case 2

This case is real because it was relayed to me by the relative of the couple…

Quite the same thing… a couple got married and after a couple of years, the wife failed to conceive. In this case though, they were really shy and did not talk about their predicament with their friends. They decided to seek medical help immediately, which turned out to be a very wise decision.

The consultation started out normally with the usual what’s-your-problem question and as the doctor probed further asking how the couple has been performing in bed, the reply from the wife was…

“Buat apa? Kita tidur bersama-sama lah?” (Do what? We just sleep together.)

Apparently, this couple had absolutely no idea that a new soul can only be created when the pole enters the hole followed by an in-out motion which will lead to the production of a white lotion. They believe a child is born by merely sleeping together.

On hindsight, this couple produced a dozen children after the consultation.

1 year ago… A time travelling twist

2 years ago… The 6-months journey… transformers there, transforming here

P/S: Many thanks to iamthewitch for the Uber Amazing Blog Award. It’s always good to get awards :)