In Search of Lost Innocence

In life, we talk about being good and bad. But who really decides who is good or bad? Being the good guy. What is so good about being the good guy...? My mother used to tell me, "Good guys die early." I wonder how true that is, but it doesn't really matter.. Struggling with your own conscience, making decisions you might not want to make, sometimes being a good guy isn't easy.. In relation to Leslie's post on how tough it is sometimes to reject people, I find it quite true.. How far are you willing to go to be the 'good guy'? What do you want to gain from being good? Self-satisfaction or reputation? Or behind it lies a hidden motive of a masterplan? Since young, cartoons have been part of a propaganda to promote moral values... From power rangers to powerpuff girls, pokemon to Sesame street, the good guys always last, if not they are the more well-liked or more good looking ones... Apparently, this didn't work out, temptations seemed to get the better ...

Being an instructor is never an easy job to begin with.. True enough, we might get more privileges and welfare, but certainly, the way we do things is much different from those people in the unit.. I guess some people will never get to understand.. Almost couldn't make out of camp today.. Was called up for a last minute change of duties by WSM.. Our services were required at the last minute cause the Guard 2IC for Saturday is not available, thus resulting in the fact that we might have to replace him.. But in the end, I didn't accept the offer.. Haha.. This book-in was one of the worst.. Despite that fact that it was just a mere 2 days, I can't really take it already.. Haha.. Maybe its the aftermath of a 5 day Civilian-Conversion-Course... Hoping to enjoy the coming weekend.. 2 more weeks to Taiwan.. Segregation between dreams and reality. How often do you dream? How often do you reflect upon the present ? Its never easy to fly without wings.

Went to town today to shop for birthday gift.. Saw a few things that look suitable but the cost is hindering our decision.. Haha.. Nevertheless, we settled for a present in less than 5 minutes elsewhere... Was supposed to look for my own new year clothes.. I was even intending to get a wallet and a watch, but apparently, I can't bear to part with my money.. Haha.. In the end, I spent quite a bit of money, but I didn't get anything at all.. Received a call from Jia Ji asking where I was in the morning.. I believe we are supposed to meet up at my boss' house to 拜年.. Its at Boon Lay, while I am at Cineleisure... I heard no news from them, so I thought I wasn't invited. I reached home to find no one in.. A bit dejected, cause its home all-alone for me.. Haha.. But I am glad that my parents went out to "gai gai".. Its been a while since they went out on their own.. Haha.. Hmmm.. Will be booking in tomorrow night, but I guess there are already people back at their r...

Beloved, don't know whether you will be reading this, but if you do, just remember: When all the tough times came, they were here to train you.. Now that the tides smoothed and subsided, its time to prove to yourself how strong you really are. I will be your angel and watch over you, so will the others. Sweet blessings will support you through the hardships, and even where you trip over major obstacles, you will find your strength within, to overcome, to outdo and to outshine. I will be there to hold your sky even when it falls. So don't worry. Have faith in yourself, do the things that uphold your principles, and do it with your true heart, most importantly, do HIM proud. I will be watching, so will HE. thus, Fly, girl, spread your wings, and fly. We love you. *The above excerpt was meant for hers truly only.. If you do not understand, do not attempt to decipher the hidden codes and interpret it on your own, and things are not like what you see & think.*

Just came back from visiting the paternal side relatives... Haha.. Heard a funny encounter from the taxi driver just now... He was fetching a caucasian customer to some places for shopping during this festive season.. I believe the tourist was trying to speak 'Singlish'.. Caucasian tourist: "Singapore NO GOOD!!! I heard Singapore is a shopping haven, but now almost all the shops closed!!" Taxi Driver: "Ohh, tat's coz the festive season here alreadi and most Singaporeans go see their relatives." Caucasian tourist: "Huh, then I how? I come here to shop lehz!!" Taxi Driver: "Hmm, dun woli, I bring u go Mustafa." Caucasian tourist: " Ohh! Mustafa! Good Good, 24 hours rite? Bring me there!" After 15 mins or so.... Caucasian tourist: " Eh? How come here like India?" Taxi Driver: "Ohh, here is Singapore('s) India, beli hot one, good BUY, BEST buy, MUZ BUY!!!" Caucasian tourist: "Orh.... Good Good, cya l...

First day of Chinese New Year. As usual, my parents and I will visit my maternal grandparents on the first day.. Its a heartwarming gathering at 4-Room flat at Woodlands.. I guess its has really been a year since I last saw them.. Haha.. Truly felt the family warmth today.. Thinking back about the past where I was much younger, we would be the centre of focus.. Now we have passed on the limelight to the younger and cuter ones.. I met my elder cousin.. He is one year older than me, now serving NS and graduated from Polytechnic.. And without a doubt, our main chat topic was on Army.. He slimmed down a lot after he entered army, I think he suffered quite a bit there.. Haha.. Saw my 4th youngest cousin, still an 'ah lian', currently studying in Shatec, and attached to an 'ah beng'.. I don't know what is she thinking, like no plans for the future at all (shakes head)... Then saw my 2 youngest cousins, they are seriously adorable.. Haha.. From left to right: My brother, t...

Another hour plus and it will be the new year already... Received many well wishes from people, yet I don't feel that mood.. Haha.. Don't know why, this upcoming new year seems quite dull.. I don't see the normal liveliness in the kids roaming the street, I don't see the blessed faces on people.. It just feel different. Supposed to play mahjong this festive night.. But suddenly, just feel very tired.. Feels good being back who you are.

Damn shag. Just had a vigorous 3 hours of soccer.. The sun scorching but I think we enjoyed ourselves.. Haha.. Some rare guests showed up (finally -.-) like Ouyang and Deren.. Kang couldn't make it cause he is going to the temple to pray.. Hope we will be able to play again soon.. I will be flying off to Taiwan soon, who knows when I will get to see them again.. Speaking about Taiwan, I haven't exchange the currency.. Wondering how much should I bring.. I guess I am bringing some things back for you guys/girls.. I dun mind helping you people get stuff, just tell me what you people want.. Tomorrow will be Chinese New Year.. Haven't seen cute little Jun Long for a long time.. This time going to ask him sing 童话 again.. Maybe he would have learnt something else.. Haha.. Kids are always so cute and lovable.. Was looking through NYJC 2005 Year book.. Haha.. Was flipping through all the events and classes.. I kind of realised that I don't even remembering seeing some of the pe...

Nothing to do now... Went to read all my friendster testimonials... Every piece of it reminds me of something.. That 2 years. Yes. That. I must really be damn bored to do this.

Phew. Hey people, I am back from the 4 days 3 nights tour of Lim Chu Kang Hill.. Haha.. Didn't really get any sleep for the whole of the training exercise, got lots of mosquito bites and a little bit of rashes.. Haha.. Training is tough, but I think I enjoyed taking them out for runs.. Haha.. Proud to be a tank commander.. Seriously, how many people can say they drove and command a tank before? Haha.. That's something impressive eh? Haha.. But not all will think so. The training standards in Tank Commander Course is rather demanding.. At first I thought I won't make it, but in the end, I proved myself wrong.. Having the opportunity to go through to course, I should say I have learnt a lot of stuff, not only about the army and tanks, but the ways of life.. Haha.. I guess you people will find it hard to understand, but its fine.. Haha.. Had 'LIFE Run' earlier on at West Coast Park.. Its only 5 km and its a out-of-camp run.. Swiftly left for home from there after dismi...

Due to extreme boredom, I decided to take stupid tests like this. Haha. My Results: 2 - the Helper you chose CX - your Enneagram type is TWO (aka "The Charmer"). "I must help others" Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs. How to Get Along with Me: ^Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific. ^Share fun times with me. ^Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours. ^Let me know that I am important and special to you. ^Be gentle if you decide to criticize me. In Intimate Relationships: ^Reassure me that I am interesting to you. ^Reassure me often that you love me. ^Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me. What I Like About Being a Two: ^being able to relate easily to people and to make friends ^knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better ^being generous, caring, and warm ^being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings ^being ...

Just woke up not long ago.. Went over to Alvyn's house yesterday night and watched soccer.. Its been so long since we had such a gathering.. And yes, Kang was grumbling that his leg was rather 'itchy', due to the fact that we haven't been kicking a soccer ball for ages.. Busy with our lives, 难得 Chinese New Year gave us a chance to step out of our hectic schedules and catch up with our loved ones.. Haha .. Basically, holidays rock. Have come to realise that, Kang and Alvyn will most probably further their studies overseas.. Kang will be serving his Navy bond for 5 years before heading over to Newcastle (probably, not confirmed) and study.. He has great interest in the Marine Industry, and the industry seemed to have no lack of golden opportunities.. From being a Naval architect, to a all-round surveyor, to a delicate shipyard engineer, I am sure the latter part of his life will definitely prove to be a good challenge and he will enjoy that... All the Best to my good...

Just got back from NTUC. Went out with mum and bro to purchase New year goodies and stuffs.. Its been a while since I last did this kind of purchase with my parents.. For the past few years, its is always my parents who went down themselves to buy, but this year, I insisted that I go and help out the purchase.. Haha.. It was done in less than 20 mins.. I firmly believe that this kind of effort made by young ones can improve parental relationships... Stayed at home the whole day.. Still down with that stupid cough.. Praying hard day and night for it to subside and go away.. Finally, I will be meeting up with Kang and Alvyn.. Its like a century since I last saw them.. Haha.. I bet we got lots to catch up.. Heh heh.. Will be booking in rather early tomorrow night, because I am the duty instructor... I think I will be leaving the house at 6p.m.. Wah.. Its really early.. Problems to be solved again.. The tanks aren't fully up.. I guess I will have to work overtime again...

最后微笑 - Tank 吕建中 还是为你披上我最爱的外套 守护替景的一套 还是若无其事的说再见或拥抱 你退后的很礼貌 你爱了谁 我不知道 地铁在呼啸 你最后的微笑 有泪水滑过的心跳 祝福的味道 多完美的微笑 在渴望温柔的肩上 爱无可救要 我被换掉 你回家了没有我不想知道 就看简讯好不好 我站在园地心却跟着你奔跑 消失尽头的铁道 你爱了谁 已不重要 能高兴得到 你最后的的微笑 有泪水滑过的心跳 祝福的味道 多完美的微笑 在渴望温柔的肩上 爱无可救要 我被换掉 保护自己别受到 话里沉默的讨好 要我别管你过的不好 祝福到

Loves doesn't necessarily means possession. Let go. Learnt it. The heart-warming sunshine casted a dark shadow upon me. My buddy asked me to be selfish. I told him, I don't know how. Phew. Finally, I am back from camp again. This week is a crazy week man. Firstly, well done to the Lions for winning the ASEAN football championship... Haha.. Some may say that its due to that dubious penalty that was awarded that the Lions won. Haha. I think that's just how the game goes man. In soccer, you have to take it in your stride, don't be a sore loser. Soccer rocks. Played soccer with the trainees on Monday and Tuesday.. No, it isn't about celebrating the win in football, its the games day that everyone has been waiting for.. Last batch which is my course, our games day was eaten up by other vehicle preparations, so this course, the 3 of us were determined to make it happen.. Haha.. And so it did! Haha.. Seriously enjoyed myself, even though there were some hiccups here and th...

So that's how it turned out. Fast and furious. Was I wrong? All the best to you then. A pair of evil eyes lurk in my heart. Retribution.

Sometimes, life just passes too fast. Whereas, at times, we are hoping for it to pass faster. Sometimes, decisions are made, not because they should, but circumstances forces those decisions to be made. Sometimes, the things in life you do ain't necessary be the things you look forward to. Yet, people in their own mundane lives, drag themselves along the flow of survival. Aims, targets, goals, dreams: Are they just pure illusions? What is the factor that drives your life? Family? Friends? Dreams? Money? Life has changed a lot since many years ago. My mum used to tell me, that one plate of 'cha kuay teow' costs only 50cents, and now 40 years later, it has gone up to around $2 a plate. It is this 'improve' in living standards that is actually deteoriating our minds. Now I see primary school kids holding mobile phones that probably was unimaginable in the past. As we grow up, we see many changes around us. Unknowingly, we seemed to forget a lot as we grow up. But some ...

Stayed at home the whole day today. Haha.. Feeling quite weak due to the effect of the anitbiotics. Sometimes even got blurry vision. Haha.. Hope I will recover by 75% tomorrow.. Got to prepare for training next week. Heard from Alvyn the so-called "EARTHBREAKING NEWS" supposedly that Kang has encountered. But in the end, I thought what, it just turn out to be he is attached.. Haha.. Helping him announce, he is no longer single now. Haha.. I thought what is the thing that was so shocking. Mayday's new album is quite nice. You all should go and listen. I like particularly some songs inside.. Haha.. Heard drastic news from Aloysius just now.. I guess what's happened can't be reversed. No point crying over spilled milk. Hope I will be able to meet up with some of you guys next week, when I am more capable of jumping up and down first. Haha.. After next week, its the outfield week again.. Won't be coming out till Chinese New Year's eve. Must recover in time fo...

I just came back from the doctor. Haha.. I fell sick I guess.. Bathing at 3a.m and waking up at 6.30a.m to run isn't something enjoying.. Haha.. Nevertheless, I reached home at around 9.30 p.m today, and I am having my dinner, so that I can eat my medicine. Live firing came and went, finally we can settle down a little with more lectures and adminstration stuff.. Haha.. 2 weeks from now I will be going on a 7-day Lim Chu Kang tour, food provided, out in the wild, embedded with nature and rearing mosquitos. Hope I will have fully recovered by then. Officially gotten my 2SGT rank. Haha.. Yeah.. Its been a wish since I was a recruit to become a 2SGT. Well, now that I have became one, I guess I will have to be capable of handling the responsibilies of a platoon sergeant. Haha.. I guess I am the highest ranking specialist among all my friends.. Lolx. Its been sometime since I played soccer. My leg's itchy.