So long......Thank you

It has been so long since my last post. Being a mother of 2 little boys below 3 years old is definitely very challenging.

Here's some updates of my motherhood life especially on my personal lifestyle and breastfeeding journey.

Personal Lifestyle:
There was no more 'me' time available for myself. Latching, pumping, cooking and cleaning have occupied my entire life. I have learned how to take speedy bath and gobbling down food without tasting them. I have even forgotten what were my hobbies. Hair-do, facial treatment and shopping for new clothes were put aside for a very long time until last month I accidentally looked into the mirror and had a big wake-up call. Despite already gaining back my pre-pregnancy weight, my body just didn't look fit. Enlarged breasts (thanks to breastfeeding), flabby arms, bulging tummy and shaggy hips accompanied by a pairs of dark-circled panda eyes on a no longer v-shaped pale face...... Yes, I told myself firmly that it is time to reduce the level of  'selfless' spirit to the family.  I have to learn to be selfish again in order to have more time to take care of my physical and mental health.  This is not just for myself, but also for my husband and boys. They deserve a glowing fit looking wife and mum!

Breastfeeding:
I manage to fully breastfeed Lucas since he was 3 months old. The first two months were full of obstacles. First of all, I had a confinement lady who kept telling me that I didn't have enough milk and always quietly 'took' away my baby to feed him with formula milk.

I waited until the confinement period was over before trying like mad people to direct latch my baby day and night, hoping to be able to convert the feeding mode from 'semi breastfeed' to 'fully breastfeed'. I achieved my goal when Lucas turned 3 months old.

While most breastfeeding mother skip their menstrual cycle, I had period everyday until Lucas was 15 weeks old. With the constant blood lost, I was already at the brink of deciding if I should stop breastfeeding. However,  I eventually decided to hypnotise myself everyday to try to breastfeed him for one more day.  On one fine day,  my body finally gave in to my determination to fully breastfeed. Ever since, those 'bloody days' had halted until today.

Lucas, is definitely luckier than his big brother, Jaden, whom I barely breastfeed for 4 months due to lacking of breastfeeding knowledge and also some hormonal issue.  I just hope that the benefits of breast milk would pay off to make Lucas a stronger and healthier boy.

Converting my working mode to work from home gave me the luxury to direct latch my baby boy all day long. Well, while direct latching gave me the convenience of no bottle to wash, no milk to heat and no left over feed but I have definitely overlooked the attachment of  direct latching babies towards their mothers ( or to be more direct, the pair of milky boobs).

Lucas is the koala that hangs himself full time on the tree, of course with me be the tree. You may ask, doesn't he take nap?  Hmm...he is a light sleeper that his napping time doesn't last any longer than 45 minutes. The worst thing is he has developed the habit of comfort latching in order to fall asleep. Every night, he practically falls asleep with the nipple in his mouth, then rolls away from me to continue sleeping for say an hour or two at most. Rolling back again to search for the teats, begin sucking then roll away.....The routine goes on for the rest of the night. The result? I am constantly in sleep deprived mode.

To break his addictive routine, we have tried having me sleeping in the guest rooms while Bernard takes care of him at night. The baby would wake up for milk (bottle feed), but as soon as he emptied the bottle he started to cry his lungs out  for the next ten fifteen minutes until the teats couldn't stand it but move back to co-sleep with him.

Lucas is turning 9 months old tomorrow. Hopefully,by the time he celebrates his 1st birthday, both mother and baby would achieve consensus on the weaning terms. I am longing for the days when I could feel myself again as an independent entity, that could live without thinking about milk in my boobs anymore.

Lastly, this post shall be my last post for this blog. This blog was mainly created to record my fertility journey. With some minor hiccups in the journey, Bernard and I used to think we will grow old together without having any kid. But life has been very kind to us,  we now have two little boys producing endless noise (and laughter too!)  in our used to be quiet home. Thus, if I continue to write in this blog, it will become a parenting blog instead, which swayed away from its original intention. I have hence decided to call it an end here. For those who could read Chinese (in English, occasionally), you may follow the updates of my life in my other blog,  Mirabel Garden.

Thank you for accompanying me throughout the journey to become a mother. If you are still thriving to become one, remember to continue inculcate joy and fun in your life, while making sure you are guided by certified fertility professionals along the journey.  I believe the next angel will knock at your door soon! Good luck!

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