Playing on my Kitty Kondo

OUTLAWS, IN-LAWS, WHOSE LAWS?

The Outlaws (that’s what mom calls dad’s family) are coming this weekend. They live 5 hours away and they don’t give much notice when they come to visit. We just found out that they will be here Friday nite. Hssssss Hssssss

Mom calls them control freaks, dad tells her just to ignore them.

They are planning a birthday party for my dad’s 40 year old brother (he lives over east – 5 hours away too). Yet the party is at our house. Nobody asked mom or dad if it was o.k. Mom and Dad are very bitter. Sounds like 50 people will be here. I am going to hide under the bed in the backroom, my room. Sometimes mom tells me I might have to share my room, then I move to mom and dad’s room.

Lots of places to hide there from the evil children.

Sometimes they stay at our house, sometimes they stay at the human kondo (Hotel); that is what is preferred by mom and dad.

When they come they take over. Mom tries to stay away. Dad gets drunk so he doesn’t have to deal with them.

They raise terror at our house.

They don't believe in watching TV; they turn the TV off, mom turns it back on out of spite.

I have tried to bite grandma human. She stays outside most of the time. She don’t trust me anymore.

Now if I could only get the rest of the family to stay away.

Biting them is the solution.

Hsss Hsss

Growlllll Growwlll

Pounce

Bite

Oh blood, oh gosh I am so sorry

WINSTON'S LAW

Cat Litter aka AssFault

Sorry I haven’t visited my blog in a couple of days

Mom hasn’t been feeling good, so we haven’t spent much time at the puter

Mostly cuddling, lots of belly rubs for me

Dad’s a dump truck driver, he usually works 4 daze a week, gone a long time those 4 days though

I miss him

He has been laying on the floor with me when he gets home, I love playtime with dad.

Yesterday he worked but he spent most of the day bringing lots of cat litter to our house with his huge dump truck. I didn’t know they made cars or trucks so big.

By the way Mom said to tell you that it was not cat litter, but actually recycled assfault (don’t tell her but I am going to call it cat litter anyway). The cat litter/assfault is 4 our driveway and parking areas. We have lots of play space, dad said it’s almost an acre. Dad was telling mom 10 truck and trailer loads came into our driveway alone.

My neighbor doggies Diesel (Rottweiler/Black Lab mix), Sammy (Long-haird German Sheppard), and Mercedes (Westie Terrior) also got cat litter/assfault in their driveway (dad shared). I don’t understand why they got cat litter cuz they don’t have any cats at their house only dogs.

Another neighbor doggie Chewy (Australian Heeler) got cat litter 2. No cats at that house either. I think dad is very confused.

I watched out the window as all the doggies rolled and rolled in the cat litter. It looked like they were having a party and they thought the cat litter/assfault was for them.

All my neighborhood kitty friends then came last nite and was checking out the piles at our house. They didn’t come to the door or the window to play with me like normal, they just played on the big piles of cat litter/assfault. Even the raccoons sat on the piles for awhile.

2 me assfault sounds like there should be a deformity in a critters butt, not something that goes in the driveway, but that is only a cat’s opinion.

Pizza Pan Treat

IAMs dry cat food and tuna that's all i ever eat; IAMs dry cat food and tuna that's all i ever want

I have become more curious in my older years

I search the food bags as they come in from the store, i love to play with the bags but mom is afraid I am going to strangle myself

sniff sniff oh the smells are soooooo good

Bananas intrigue me;
pears, well i can't get them in my mouth;
grapes i steal and then play wit for hours on end,
they r better than kitty toys and ice cubes
at least until mom steps on them - yikes run away, fast

In the summer i luv corn on the cob - i luv the husk;
it makes me puke, but i love it anyway.
When mom is cleaning the corn and the husk falls on the floor i take it and run,
run like the wind, but mom finds me when i puke.

Lately I found something new and it wasn't in the food bag; it was on the counter top. It came out of the oven with a food frisbee on it.

Sniff Sniff Sniff

Mom and dad had dinner and then went for a walk. I decided it was time for some countertop detective work.

Sniff Sniff Sniff

Oh the pan is warm, just a little not alot.

Sniff Sniff Sniff - oh it smells wonderful, but its not tuna

Little lick, faster licks, ohhhhh yummy.

Door opens, I look up. Hi Mom

"What are you doing licking the pizza pan?"

Stupid kitty look. More please.

SURVIVING THE HEAT

HOT HOT HOT… This heat has to stop.

I am drinking lots and lots of water to keep my tongue full of the licky wet stuff. Taking baths is hard, all my hair sticks to my tongue.

I try to cuddle up to mom for a belly rub, then all my hair sticks to her or comes off in her hand. She throws my extra hair away, I think she needs to donate it to the “Bald Kitty Fund”

Have you seen those bald kitties? They have NO hair. Don’t they get cold when the white stuff falls from the sky around the time Santa comes? They must almost have to live under mom and dad’s bed covers. Burrr I would be very COLD.

But thinking about being BALD, it would be great right about now – it would feel sooooo good.

Mom tried to put a cool very wet cloth on me. I don’t like water that much, just a little to help the hair do. I ran away from her and then came back and sniffed the cloth when she wasn’t looking. It felt good on my nose.

Mom and Dad brought home more of those things that blow air. They are all over the house now.

This must be how birds learn to fly. Their mom’s and dad’s bring home air machines and let them practice. I know I will be able to take flight at any moment.

I need a nap, I will stay far enough away from the air machine that it won’t blow up my ears. Just far enough away that it lightly blows my fir.

zzzzzzz

Dad is sleeping in my bed

It has been very hot in the Seattle area, that is what the man on the TV thing says.

It must be true Mom and Dad have every window in the house open, and Dad has moved to my room to sleep at night. He brought this big huge noisy thing into my room that blows air all around. Mom says its too noisy and she can't sleep with it buzzing at her all night. So now I got to share my room. What is up with that?

I feel like the air chases me, I try to swat at the air to get it out of my whiskers. When I look out the window to see the racoons going up and down the tree the air blows right up my short stubby tail. How rude!!

Then of all things dad talks to me all night, when I try to answer or go up for cuddles he just coughs and sneezes and snorts and makes all kind of weird sounds, I wonder how mom sleeps with all the weird noises that come out of dad all night long. It seems like it would be easier to sleep with the loud air blowy thing.

Mom and dad just left for work, the house is quiet, now I get to sleep.

Skunk Skunk Baby

Laying by the screen door has become a habit lately. It is sooo hot in the house, and a nice breeze comes through the door.

Last nite a new friend came onto the porch last night, he is white and black. At first I thought it was my outside sister cat Hilter. She is black and white, white face with a black mustache. We rescued her when the neighbors moved, they left her for us. She luvs us lots and we luv her back but she sheds lots of white hair and mom has navy blue furniture, so she is an outside cat.

Don't worry mom and dad don't let her get lonely, they play with her outside alot, she follows them around like she is one of the puppy characters that make a strange barking sound.

oh darn... I am getting off my subject again.

Strange new creature on the back porch was not my sister cat. He did not make any noises, just drank from the water bowl. He must have been awful thirsty cuz he drank and drank and drank some more.

Mom looks scared, she told me if I got sprayed I would become an outside cat. I am not sure what it meant but I wanted to get sprayed bad.

He came up to the screen and gave me *nosetaps* then walked down the stairs and into the dark.

I thought he was beautiful with his big fluffy tail and grand stripe down his back.

I hope he comes back tonite I would luv to get to know him better.

Scotch Tape

Got into mom's "Collect All" drawer.

Found this stuff that was sticky on just one side.

First it stuck to my nose, then it stuck, to my paw, then to my tongue. Yummy it tastes good.

I found something like it on the papers mom brings in everyday from outside. She calls it mail.

I kept licking and licking, tasted sooo good. She took it away, said it would make me sick.

I got back into the drawer, mom shut it, I was able to open it again. She shook her head at me.

That drawer will have to wait until she leaves. Another secret.

Hailey "The Neighbor Cat"

Hailey is orange and white in color. She is very big in size. Even bigger than me and I am big (being part Bobcat you know). I have huge feet. I have 7 toes on each front foot and 6 toes on each back foot. Mom says I am a POLYDACTYL CAT. That means I am special.

Oh... I forgot this was suppose to be about Hailey.

She came to visit yesterday and laid at the back screen door. The glass door was open, so the only thing between her and me was the screen door. She was swishing her tail

back and forth

back and forth

swish swish swish

I don't have a long tail, I have a bobbed tail, naturally bobbed I might add.

I was in a mischievious mood yesterday

watching that tail swish back and forth, swish swish swish

I decided I needed to pounce on it.

I scrunched down real low to the ground - o.k. carpet I was in the living room.

I was almost flat.

I ran... I ran fast...

I forgot there was a screen door.

CRASH

I shook my head, I shook my right paw - I meowed real loud - mom said I jammed it

Hailey said I was a nut case. I told her the nuts were in the bird feeder. Hailey ran away.

Game time over.

Slippin Slide

Ready, set, run, run faster....

Slide.... Those plastic runners mom put down are a hoot.

Ready, set, run, run faster....

Slide.... CRASH - the end of the hallway came to soon this morning.

Dad thought I put a hole in the wall.

O.K. I will head the other way up the hallway.

Ready, set, run, run faster...

SLIDE... oh no this time I slid right into mom.

I gotta practice while they are at work.

Racoon Friends

Everynight I have 4 racoon friends that come to the door.

When they show up I stand on my back legs and bang on the window next to the door so mom will know that they are ready to be fed.

I have tried to open the screen door latch and let them in (I am very tall or maybe I should say long). Mom gets mad at me cuz she is afraid that I will get out and go live with the racoons. They are not scared of me or my humans. Mom feeds them the cheap catfood (I get the expensive kind). Sometimes she lets them have raw eggs. Last nite I talked her into giving them peanut butter too. I read on the computer that racoons like that stuff - it is toooo sticky for me.

Someday they will come in and play, I just know it.