How I Know I'm a Boy Mom (Ten on Tuesday)

1. My teaspoons and tablespoons are used as toy guns.
2. If someone passes gas the sound it makes is hilarious and draws laughs from the littlest guy.
3. I know who all the superheroes are.
4. There is constant dribble on the toilet seat.
5. Even I know that if there is a totally awesome sports car in the store parking lot that I should park next to it. Even if it is the furthest spot from the front entrance.
6. We go to stores with toy guns and rocks in our pockets.
7. I can usually find one of three items in each room a ball, car or a toy gun.
8. When I have a great hair day no one notices.
9. Our seasons are defined by football, basketball, baseball and golf.
10. Even after grocery shopping there is still not enough food in the house.

10 on Tuesday

1. I really am back to blogging; but I have slacked in disappointment because my watermark program is giving me issues.
I love to use photos on my blog, so trying to figure out that little bug.
2. The last couple of weeks have been super busy and it has been hard keeping up with everything.
3. Found out that we will be meeting Kolton on 12-12-15, unless he decides to make his appearance sooner. Though, I am not counting on that as my boys don't believe in being early.
4. Slowly getting my Thanksgiving dinner menu planned for my little family.
5. Klayton had his first earache last Friday and I discovered those come fast and suddenly. So grateful for an excellent hospital and walk-in clinic! Awesome doctors and nurses!
6. On Friday evening, Klayton came to me in my room and said, "Mom, thanks for taking care of me today to get me better-you did a good job!" I may or may not have teared up a little bit. Those moments make up for hard days.
7. Since learning that Kolton will be here in basically 5 weeks, I am in major nesting mode. I can't wait to tackle the boys room tomorrow. Yes, I realize it will only stay clean for about 5 minutes.
8. I am so grateful for my husband. He works hard and does his best to provide for our family. I know he would prefer not to work a secular job; but he does to provide for his family.
9. Last week I received a phone call that Klayton won a prize from the fall festival that the local police station hosted. I was SO excited and decided to walk there with the boys after the receptionist stated it was only a couple of blocks away. About 1/2 way on our walk, I realized it was more than 2 blocks and checked my phone GPS. The station was 1.2 miles from our apartment. We decided to keep walking-after all we were just SO excited! When we arrived I learned that BOTH boys had actually won a prize. And the prize Justus won was quite large...lets just say I am sure we looked like quite a sight walking home. Two boys, a pregnant woman pushing an umbrella stroller and me trying to balance a big box on top of the stroller as we walked home. The whole journey from start to finish lasted about 2 hours...we were exhausted.
10. Well, Tuesday is almost over. I hope your day was well and that you all have a great rest of the week.

Humbling. Humbled.

A little boy is the only thing God can use to make a "Man".

That quote right there hits close to home for me.

When Klayton was two weeks old we took him to a wedding. Sitting there in the pew watching two people pledge their lives to one another, I was slapped in the face with the realization that I am raising someone's husband!

Humbling. Humbled.

I am sitting here next to a screaming baby and watching my three year old rough house with his daddy. I don't really want to envision their wedding day because that means I will be "losing" them to another woman and frankly right now I like being the only "woman" in their lives! I wonder what "she" will be like...what is she doing now? And, I think-she better like me!

I often think that no one will ever be good enough for my boys. However, if God has someone chosen for them then there is someone good enough if they follow God's will. It is my responsibility to raise that man God chose for her and for some reason God already believes I can accomplish that task-if He didn't I wouldn't have been given these two little boys.

Humbling. Humbled.

That little boy that randomly wants to pray with Mama needs to not be turned away. Every time I kneel with him its teaching him to become a man of prayer that his wife will turn to when she needs someone to pray for her, it will be teaching him to already be praying for her and to have that open relationship with God.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Philippians 4:6

I'm a Mama that makes lots of mistakes raising boys in a world where no one wants to own up to their mistakes. A world where people no longer apologize and ask for forgiveness. I can't change the world; but I don't have to add to the pride of the world. When I do wrong by my boys-I apologize and ask for their forgiveness-no excuses. I pray that by my example they will become men that can admit their wrongs and in turn become men of integrity and truth.

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. Matthew 18:15

Humbling. Humbled.

My Klayton pretends to work and we always laugh because he wants to work so badly because it appears fun right now and we know that someday he will probably laugh when we tell him that-because lets be honest-work isn't always fun and if we could we would prefer for money to just grow on trees! And, while Klayton doesn't work right now, I am doing my best to encourage a good work ethic because I don't know what God will have for means to provide for his family...being a pastor, working a secular job? I don't know; but when he starts unloading the shopping cart of the random lady at Wal-Mart I will tell him good job! And when he doesn't want to pick up his toys because he doesn't feel like it, I will tell him that we don't always get to do what we feel like and make him keep picking up.

[Let] nothing [be done] through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Philippians 2:3-5

I love my boys with a love that I never knew existed until I felt those first kicks in my tummy, heard those first cries as I delivered them and held them for the first time. It is a love that somehow keeps getting stronger and it is a love that I don't even know how to explain. Sometimes I tell Justus on his really bad colicky days that its a good thing that I'm his Mama because only a Mama could get through the colic because of her love. If he wasn't my child I wouldn't put up with the colic, I'm pretty sure I would roll my eyes, be thankful that I am not the one having to deal with it and let someone else deal with it. Lets all be honest-colic is rough! When I have a rough day dealing with the colic I often find myself telling my husband, "I love that boy more than life itself..." My little guys need to know that they are loved on the good days, the bad days-there are going to be days in life that it is not "easy" to love. I want them to know that with the right love on those bad days they will some how still have peace with the one they love and they can be long-suffering. I want them to be motivated by love and love how God wants them to love. I want them to know it is okay to say, "I love you" and they should say it. It is manly to say those three little words! I want them to choose to love when it is not convenient for them.

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 1 John 4:7

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Galatians 5:22

Humbling. Humbled.

So, this often brings me to thought of my future dear daughter in law...I know that I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of lessons that need to be taught and learned between now and the day, "I do!" is said. I haven't even mentioned all the mistakes I will make in raising him or the, "I should have..." moments because frankly I cringe at that. But, by God's grace I am going to do my best in raising the man of my daughter in laws dreams.

Humbling. Humbled.

When her man, my little boy-says "I do" I will step aside and do my best to let her be his number one woman. I will step aside as I remember the days of skinned knees and how only the kiss of Mama could heal those wounds. I will remember the days where it was only Mama that knew how to comfort him and I will miss those days as he will turn to his wife for comfort.

I'm sure there will be days that he will still naturally want to talk to me-his Mama-about things; but I will do my best to point him back to his wife and not meddle into their relationship. Because lets be honest, I will probably always believe that I know whats best for him! Though there will come a day, there will be things that I can't see because I will no longer dwell with him and because of those two factors and many more-then well...I guess the fact that you are to leave and cleave that means my ideas and opinions are just that MINE! It is his responsibility to know what is best and that can only be done if he is listening to God and well I am sure there will be times that he doesn't listen to God and unfortunately it may hurt but I just have to sit back and let him stand before God.

Humbled. Humbling.

Pretty sure what will be the hardest on this Mama's heart is slowly not knowing my boy as well as I do now. There will come a point where my daughter in law will know him better than I do...see right now I think I know my boy better than anyone else and in most areas I do. But, as they grow in marriage I know she will also learn him in a way that I never have and as marriage changes him she will see daily the man that he is and is becoming-I won't be at the sidelines getting those daily glimpses. I'm going to miss that and I will miss him. I can only hope that she won't mind doing the occasional favor for me and giving him a peck on the cheek and a long squeeze!

I already love her for loving my little boy.

I am undeserving.

Humbling. Humbled.

Mama Bear Reality

My husband frequently teases people not to mess with me-especially while pregnant-because I can be such a "Mama Bear"! I finally decided to Google the definition and found this definition from the urban dictionary: a mom who can be cuddly and lovable but also has a ferocious side when it's necessary to protect her cubs. Can also be a biological mom, or the head of the group. I also found this definition: a wonderful mother who is protective, but in a good way. She acts like a mother bear in all senses of the word; caring, protective, helpful, loving, powerful, strong, a refuge of sorts.

I must admit that I don't mind at all being called a Mama Bear! You see I firmly believe that Klayton is worthy of being protected, cared for, loved! He deserves to be cuddled and to have a refuge. These are not bad things. When my husband teases about this I know he is not referring to me in a bad way; but I am learning that people tend to furrow their eyebrow when the possibility of Mama Bear showing herself is present. You see its not always popular to be Mama Bear-sometimes you have to go against the grain. Sometimes Mama Bear is not going to be favored by the child or the people around her, it can be a hard pill to swallow. I have been quick to learn that it's okay that Klayton doesn't always like my choices for him; but I have been very slow to learn that it is okay for others not to always like my choices for my child. One of the things I struggle with-you may laugh; but I hate it and I don't like it at all when people share their drinks or food from their plate with their silverware with Klayton. It is a personal preference; but something that Joseph and I also recently learned is that there are so many sicknesses/diseases that can be passed through that simple act. As Mama Bear, I cringe when I see people still doing this with my child and I admittedly "steam" about it. At the same time, I realize that it is a result of my "fear" to speak up as in some cases I have tried to casually address the topic. See this is where my slow learning comes in-it shouldn't matter what people think because I know I am looking out for the best interest of my child.

One of my favorite parts of the definition of Mama Bear is, a refuge of sorts! I have recently learned that in some areas I am Klayton's refuge and I do not want to infringe on that in any way. A few weeks ago we were in an unpleasant situation and Klayton was not liking it. I found comfort knowing that my child wanted me to hold his hand, wanted me near him! I find comfort in the knowledge that he KNOWS that I am there for him. I will often ask Klayton, "do you know that I love you?" And he always answers yes! I don't ever hope for a day where his answer is no. Klayton is such a daddy's boy; but if he gets hurt he wants me-yay! I believe it is necessary to be a Mama Bear just to protect the refuge my child seeks in me! I want to be the Mom that my child knows he can go to and that he doesn't have to go elsewhere. I would never on purpose put Klayton in a questionable situation or in harms way and when another person does this to my child, my trust is broken. I realize that may seem harsh; but I don't care! I say that with a smile on my face so maybe that lessened the harsh reality of what I said!

I love being someones Mama Bear and I can't wait to be Mama Bear to both my boys!