On my days at home, I calculated that I am feeding myself or someone else 12 separate times a day. What the what. Georgia is still nursing 4 times a day and then eats solids 3 times a day, though her "dinner" really stretches from 5-6:30 in spurts to keep her happy while the rest of us eat. Ellen eats the typical 3 meals, and generally 1-2 snacks which I didn't even count. I eat breakfast and lunch somewhere after I've fed both girls, then prep dinner so we can all sit down together for 9 minutes. I need roller skates.
Speaking of roller skates, my "advanced" age and the last pregnancy really did a number on my feet. I feel like a seriously old lady hobbling around all day. I haven't worn heels in almost 5 years and my feet still groan. I finally got some silver Gizeh Birkenstocks because I was trying to avoid a specialist visit and orthotics (told ya - that's an old lady word). I think they are working and - BONUS - it appears that Birkenstocks are all the rage in Paris this summer. Trend. Setter.
Georgia finally dropped her 3rd nap just past 9 months. It makes bedtime much more predictable - she is generally so exhausted she goes straight to sleep - but it also means that her last feeding needs to start at about 6:32pm. If it's 6:40pm she might start melting. It also means that the witching hour of 5:00-6:00pm really requires lots of song and dance to keep G happy. As I tell Ellen (frequently) - "The name of the game is Keep Georgia Happy". It's not that she isn't happy ... in fact, she is generally very happy, but I like to keep the status quo.
And, speaking of beds, one Sunday night I sat Georgia in her bed while I was picking up some things in her room and I just thought, "Huh. She looks like she could just throw herself out of bed, if only she could sit up on her own." I told Erik we needed to move her mattress lower and put it on the to-do list. The next morning I found her sitting up in bed. Mommy instinct. We moved her mattress down that night, and then she was clapping and crawling within 2 days. Spurts in development are amazing.
Back to food, we are on a good mix of spoon foods (fruit and yogurt for breakfast, some kind of veggie for lunch or lentils or cottage cheese, and usually a meat of some kind for dinner) and finger foods. The latest finger foods are string cheese cut up into tiny cubes, frozen mixed veggies or broccoli that I chop up, and random veggies or leftover eggs from our meals during the week. I also got frozen organic blueberries at Whole Foods and they are the little tiny wild blueberries - perfect size for G. Admittedly, I'm a little too OCD to let her mash them all over the place, but she loves them straight out of the freezer and still a little slushy. Also, I got a pack of small whole wheat tortillas at Whole Foods that don't have a lot of weird ingredients and I cut them in fourths and spread them out on a sheet to freeze them individually. I can pull one out, zap it for 10 seconds in the microwave, and then tear it up for her. She eats an unreal amount of food. I also got her to start drinking from a straw. I thought it would be easier for our upcoming trip and just got a Playtex sippy cup with a straw lid. We practiced for a day or two and I could squeeze the cup to get the water to come up through the straw so she knew what was happening. In contrast, it took Ellen a long time to figure out the straw - I think she was older.
And, back to nursing. (My thought patterns are like this all day - scattered scattered scattered). My milk supply continues to drop, but I want to keep nursing G through our vacation as it's just so much easier. I finally had a lightbulb moment and switched the breast shields on my pump back to the smaller size and it has increased my supply - maybe an extra 1-2 ounces each time I pump, which isn't a ton, but certainly something. I gave G her first bottle of formula today at home just as a test to make sure we had a back up for vacation and she sucked it right down - no problem. In fact, she looked so proud of herself laying down and drinking the bottle all by herself. Thanks a lot.
Showing posts with label naps. Show all posts
Showing posts with label naps. Show all posts
Friday, August 23, 2013
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Reporting live from Sadnonapville
Yep, I think the naps are done for. Barring any illness (which I'm seriously not wishing for, but at the same time kind of am), I don't think there will be much more afternoon napping in our house for the toddler set. For the mom? Well, that's a different story, but I think it is generally frowned upon to leave your 3-year-old with free reign over the house and a comatose parent 'supervising'.
I've alluded (ad nauseum) to our nap battles and I just finally had to accept that it (mostly) wasn't worth the fight. I can't even remember the last time that Ellen took a nap at home, which is saying something.
I had been taking her up to her crib (she still sleeps there at night, which will need addressing later) and she acted sleepy and yes, was truly tired, but she would just get a 2nd wind about 7 seconds after I left the room and she would bounce and talk and sing for at least 45 minutes and then would be so wound up she wouldn't sleep for anything.
So, I had to choose: was the sleep more important or was it more important for me to have quiet time away from my child? I can't force sleep, but I can enforce quiet time, so that won.
I am working hard on trying to enforce "quiet time". She has to stay in her bed and read quietly until I tell her it is Ok to come out. I am aiming for an hour, but she reliably lasts about 40 minutes at this point before the whining really starts. Openly looking for suggestions on how to make this work better - please fill me in! Also, I really truly hope that she will one day realize it is OK to fall asleep during quiet time if needed, but she is so stubborn (I blame her father) that I am not holding my breath.
She is still kind of a crabby-puss in the late afternoons, but it isn't as awful as it used to be when she skipped nap and bedtime is much more reliable. She goes down between 730-800pm and sleep comes not long after. This is really how I knew that we were probably truly done with the nap - she can make it through the day (pretty well) and bedtime is much better. I would really like to get her to stretch her morning wake-up time from 630am (on a good day) to closer to 700am, because I still think she is deficient in sleep, but I'm hoping that will come with time.
Oh, and another complicating factor is that she still naps at school 4 days a week. They have to nap, and I know she wakes up earlier than most kids most days, and it does kind of muck up our bedtime routine on those nights. They still have nap NEXT YEAR at school, too, which I can't even imagine how that will work.
So. It is what it is. I'm trying to see the silver lining in the fact that we can get out of the house in the afternoons. Also, everyone kept telling me to keep her in her crib as long as possible (which I'm all for) except I'm willing to bet those people's kids were still napping when they transitioned to a big bed. This one will be .... interesting.
I've alluded (ad nauseum) to our nap battles and I just finally had to accept that it (mostly) wasn't worth the fight. I can't even remember the last time that Ellen took a nap at home, which is saying something.
I had been taking her up to her crib (she still sleeps there at night, which will need addressing later) and she acted sleepy and yes, was truly tired, but she would just get a 2nd wind about 7 seconds after I left the room and she would bounce and talk and sing for at least 45 minutes and then would be so wound up she wouldn't sleep for anything.
So, I had to choose: was the sleep more important or was it more important for me to have quiet time away from my child? I can't force sleep, but I can enforce quiet time, so that won.
I am working hard on trying to enforce "quiet time". She has to stay in her bed and read quietly until I tell her it is Ok to come out. I am aiming for an hour, but she reliably lasts about 40 minutes at this point before the whining really starts. Openly looking for suggestions on how to make this work better - please fill me in! Also, I really truly hope that she will one day realize it is OK to fall asleep during quiet time if needed, but she is so stubborn (I blame her father) that I am not holding my breath.
She is still kind of a crabby-puss in the late afternoons, but it isn't as awful as it used to be when she skipped nap and bedtime is much more reliable. She goes down between 730-800pm and sleep comes not long after. This is really how I knew that we were probably truly done with the nap - she can make it through the day (pretty well) and bedtime is much better. I would really like to get her to stretch her morning wake-up time from 630am (on a good day) to closer to 700am, because I still think she is deficient in sleep, but I'm hoping that will come with time.
Oh, and another complicating factor is that she still naps at school 4 days a week. They have to nap, and I know she wakes up earlier than most kids most days, and it does kind of muck up our bedtime routine on those nights. They still have nap NEXT YEAR at school, too, which I can't even imagine how that will work.
So. It is what it is. I'm trying to see the silver lining in the fact that we can get out of the house in the afternoons. Also, everyone kept telling me to keep her in her crib as long as possible (which I'm all for) except I'm willing to bet those people's kids were still napping when they transitioned to a big bed. This one will be .... interesting.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Another good read
I thought this was a cute post on Motherhood Uncensored - Kids Talk the Darndest Ways. Kind of like my post a while back about taking note of the cute things your child says. Read through the comments, too - good for a laugh when you need one.
Is anyone else having trouble getting a jumpstart on the year? I'm trying to revel in the calm after the holiday storm, yet it seems like I'm not accomplishing much and that's driving me crazy. Add on top a girl who never ever (ever ever) naps and I'm, shall we say, adjusting.
Is anyone else having trouble getting a jumpstart on the year? I'm trying to revel in the calm after the holiday storm, yet it seems like I'm not accomplishing much and that's driving me crazy. Add on top a girl who never ever (ever ever) naps and I'm, shall we say, adjusting.
Monday, January 3, 2011
My, how the tides have turned
Happy New Year!
Shall we start this year talking about sleep again? Great, let's do!
Just wanted to note for posterity that Miss E has switched things all around and is now a poor school napper and a great home napper!
I never thought this day would come and, while still annoying in its own way, I much prefer the long naps to be on my watch. It does make our school days pretty dicey - who doesn't dread the screaming child on the way home from daycare? - but our home days are much more pleasant. I can count on a 2 hour nap, at least, and yesterday even had to wake her up after 3 hours which has, oh, NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. She just loves sleeping in her own crib, like the rest of us, I guess.
I'm afraid this may also signal the end of our easy nighttime transitions. We occasionally put her down in the Pack n' Play at a friends house and she generally goes right to sleep and transitions easily back to her own bed. On New Year's Eve, she went down fine, but woke up after a few hours and couldn't go back to sleep in a strange place. She was wide awake when we got home and stayed up for another hour talking to herself in bed. "Twink-a, twink-a, yittle stahr; how I wond-a what you are. Yay!! *clapping*
Cute? Definitely, yes.
Tiring? Also, yes.
Good thing we are generally too tired to have such an active social life. :)
Shall we start this year talking about sleep again? Great, let's do!
Just wanted to note for posterity that Miss E has switched things all around and is now a poor school napper and a great home napper!
I never thought this day would come and, while still annoying in its own way, I much prefer the long naps to be on my watch. It does make our school days pretty dicey - who doesn't dread the screaming child on the way home from daycare? - but our home days are much more pleasant. I can count on a 2 hour nap, at least, and yesterday even had to wake her up after 3 hours which has, oh, NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. She just loves sleeping in her own crib, like the rest of us, I guess.
I'm afraid this may also signal the end of our easy nighttime transitions. We occasionally put her down in the Pack n' Play at a friends house and she generally goes right to sleep and transitions easily back to her own bed. On New Year's Eve, she went down fine, but woke up after a few hours and couldn't go back to sleep in a strange place. She was wide awake when we got home and stayed up for another hour talking to herself in bed. "Twink-a, twink-a, yittle stahr; how I wond-a what you are. Yay!! *clapping*
Cute? Definitely, yes.
Tiring? Also, yes.
Good thing we are generally too tired to have such an active social life. :)
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Jinx
Shhh ... don't tell Girly I'm telling you this ...
It has finally happened. She has become a reasonable napper and is getting up at a reasonable time. (Cue hallelujah chorus here).
Everyone kept telling me that after she started walking and expending more energy, she would become a better napper. This just wasn't true for her and I have my suspicion that girls (of the calmer variety) just don't get that busy until closer to their 2nd birthday. Within the last month, I have started to be able to count on a 1 1/2 hour nap at a minimum, closer to 2 hours on average, and 2 1/2 hours on a great day. It is heavenly.
The week or so prior to daylight savings, she had started to sleep until 6:00am every morning, with most mornings at 6:15-6:30am, and even an occasional 7 or 7:15am!! Daylight savings threw us (and everyone else) for a loop for just a few mornings, and even 5:40am was bearable because I knew it would have been 4:40am not that long ago.
I don't know that I can take any credit for this (though, I still swear the sleeping/dancing cow clock helped), but I'm so so SO happy that her inner clock has lined up a little better with the rest of our household.
Here's to hoping that it happens at your house, too ....
It has finally happened. She has become a reasonable napper and is getting up at a reasonable time. (Cue hallelujah chorus here).
Everyone kept telling me that after she started walking and expending more energy, she would become a better napper. This just wasn't true for her and I have my suspicion that girls (of the calmer variety) just don't get that busy until closer to their 2nd birthday. Within the last month, I have started to be able to count on a 1 1/2 hour nap at a minimum, closer to 2 hours on average, and 2 1/2 hours on a great day. It is heavenly.
The week or so prior to daylight savings, she had started to sleep until 6:00am every morning, with most mornings at 6:15-6:30am, and even an occasional 7 or 7:15am!! Daylight savings threw us (and everyone else) for a loop for just a few mornings, and even 5:40am was bearable because I knew it would have been 4:40am not that long ago.
I don't know that I can take any credit for this (though, I still swear the sleeping/dancing cow clock helped), but I'm so so SO happy that her inner clock has lined up a little better with the rest of our household.
Here's to hoping that it happens at your house, too ....
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The one in which a good idea backfires
I previously mentioned the new use of a basket of toys / books / calculators in Girly's bed. (Calculator, you say? Yes. She's totally a nerd and I'm totally OK with it.)
This has served us well for the past 10 days or so. Surprisingly, she doesn't seem to really use it ... she may pull out a few of the books as she is falling asleep, but otherwise doesn't pay much attention.
That is, until naps this week. Sunday and Monday resulted in totally disrupted naps as she had a grand ol' time playing with all her toys and talk-talk-talking to herself for over an hour. Yes, I had some alone time to eat my lunch and I didn't have to listen to her cry, but the face-slapping, hair-pulling, crumbles-at-the-drop-of-a-book girl we were left with in the late afternoon was So. Not. Worth It.
So - this is apparently a nighttime tool only. Let's see how that goes.
This has served us well for the past 10 days or so. Surprisingly, she doesn't seem to really use it ... she may pull out a few of the books as she is falling asleep, but otherwise doesn't pay much attention.
That is, until naps this week. Sunday and Monday resulted in totally disrupted naps as she had a grand ol' time playing with all her toys and talk-talk-talking to herself for over an hour. Yes, I had some alone time to eat my lunch and I didn't have to listen to her cry, but the face-slapping, hair-pulling, crumbles-at-the-drop-of-a-book girl we were left with in the late afternoon was So. Not. Worth It.
So - this is apparently a nighttime tool only. Let's see how that goes.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Cruel and Unusual
Yes, I'm a broken record.
Yes, this is again about napping and early waking.
Isn't it amazing how this parenting gig continually kicks you in the ass?
I don't know about you, but I have found teething and its associated uncertainties to be one of the most challenging aspects of parenthood.
As I've whined about before, our Girly slowly evolved into a very poor napper (at home) and just kept waking up earlier and earlier. We kind of fixed the early waking about 5 weeks ago, then dontcha know that Girly went and got sick, sick, sick and it messed everything up. (Frankly, I worried about the sickness, but she slept wonderfully. Ahhh, the conundrums of mommy-ing).
It doesn't help that she must have the slowest-erupting-teeth in all of teeth history. I swear that she has been working on 2 upper and 2 lower molars for about 2 months now. The right ones are now fully erupted while the left ones are now just peeking through. And the gums by her canines are just swelling up, in typical annoying teeth fashion.
I have no issue with crying it out when I can feel reasonably certain that Girly has a full belly and is not in pain. That is where teething has been so hard for me: I can give her Motrin at bedtime, but she wakes 8 or 9 hours later and I don't know if it is habit or pain or both. I felt I should err on the side of caution and give her more Motrin, which worked sometimes but not all the time.
FRUSTRATION!
We finally just decided that it must be habit. Or mostly habit. Or mostly ANNOYING.
On Friday I decided to really push her on her nap to try to get her to finally sleep longer at home. She slept about 30 minutes, cried for 8, slept for 15 minutes, cried for 10, then slept about 45 more minutes. Bliss! Girly was going to be home with me for 6 full days with the holiday weekend, so I decided to push the rest of it, too. I think she cried a little bit early Saturday morning, but for the most part has slept until at least 6:20am every day since. Which is, obviously, amazing. The better part, though, is that her naps have been consistently 1 1/2 hours - 2 hours or a little more ever since. This is revolutionary since we were only getting about 45 minutes.
Again, like I said, broken record. These themes just repeat themselves over and over and over again. (At least in our household). Please slap me next time I whine about our poor sleeper. I'll blame my poor memory on the lack of sleep.
Yes, this is again about napping and early waking.
Isn't it amazing how this parenting gig continually kicks you in the ass?
I don't know about you, but I have found teething and its associated uncertainties to be one of the most challenging aspects of parenthood.
As I've whined about before, our Girly slowly evolved into a very poor napper (at home) and just kept waking up earlier and earlier. We kind of fixed the early waking about 5 weeks ago, then dontcha know that Girly went and got sick, sick, sick and it messed everything up. (Frankly, I worried about the sickness, but she slept wonderfully. Ahhh, the conundrums of mommy-ing).
It doesn't help that she must have the slowest-erupting-teeth in all of teeth history. I swear that she has been working on 2 upper and 2 lower molars for about 2 months now. The right ones are now fully erupted while the left ones are now just peeking through. And the gums by her canines are just swelling up, in typical annoying teeth fashion.
I have no issue with crying it out when I can feel reasonably certain that Girly has a full belly and is not in pain. That is where teething has been so hard for me: I can give her Motrin at bedtime, but she wakes 8 or 9 hours later and I don't know if it is habit or pain or both. I felt I should err on the side of caution and give her more Motrin, which worked sometimes but not all the time.
FRUSTRATION!
We finally just decided that it must be habit. Or mostly habit. Or mostly ANNOYING.
On Friday I decided to really push her on her nap to try to get her to finally sleep longer at home. She slept about 30 minutes, cried for 8, slept for 15 minutes, cried for 10, then slept about 45 more minutes. Bliss! Girly was going to be home with me for 6 full days with the holiday weekend, so I decided to push the rest of it, too. I think she cried a little bit early Saturday morning, but for the most part has slept until at least 6:20am every day since. Which is, obviously, amazing. The better part, though, is that her naps have been consistently 1 1/2 hours - 2 hours or a little more ever since. This is revolutionary since we were only getting about 45 minutes.
Again, like I said, broken record. These themes just repeat themselves over and over and over again. (At least in our household). Please slap me next time I whine about our poor sleeper. I'll blame my poor memory on the lack of sleep.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Yep. That again.
Oh, let's discuss naps again. Just for fun.
Remember when we tried to go from 2 to 1 naps? And then when we went right back to 2 naps?
We made our first attempt at dropping the nap around 11 months. She was napping poorly to sporadically, and was also making the switch from the Bunnies to the Bears room at school. It was very hard to entertain her for multiple hours in the morning, and after 3 weeks of effort, I decided to revert back to the 2 naps. (Especially after my scientific mommy poll revealed that most of my friends had toddlers who still took 2 naps).
I was encouraged that maybe our Girl would continue to take 2 naps, and maybe even longer naps once she started walking!
Ummm ... not so much.
Our Girl is an excellent sleeper at night, and used to be a wonderful napper before starting daycare at 12 weeks. I believe that daycare really messed with her napping, or perhaps she just evolved into a poor napper, but that is what she is. I've learned (am learning) to deal with it.
I had a lot of trepidation about her move to the big girl room at school, mainly related to the single nap and sleeping on the cot. She really adjusted pretty quickly and was consistently taking a 1 1/2 - 2 hour nap at school within about 2 weeks. Far better than she ever did in the baby room. (Again, I underestimated her and was pleasantly surprised. When will I learn?)
So ... at home, she continued to take 2 decent naps for about a month. Then, ever so slowly, her naps got all wonky. Because she is an early riser, she was taking her first nap from about 8:30-10:00, then her second nap from around 12:30-2:00. Then bedtime at 6:30ish. Then, she just stopped taking the second nap, or cried and fought us until it was too miserable to stand. If you are calculating ... yes, she would be awake from 10:00a until 6:00p. And yes, god-awful.
I knew this was really the sign that she was ready to go to 1 nap. I resisted it - I thought it might be a phase - because I was really enchanted with the idea that she would continue to take 2 good naps well into her 2nd year. It finally became beyond obvious that we needed to make the switch.
About a week ago, I just kept her up through the morning nap and put her down at about 12:30, which is what they do at school. She required far less entertaining than our previous attempt, which was also encouraging. She adjusted very quickly.
We are now in a pretty good place at 14 months. I can count on her sleeping at least an hour, usually 1 1/2 hours, and on a good day 2 hours. I still would love for her to sleep longer, but she consistently sleeps 12 hours at night, so I'll take what I can get.
Hard to believe that I've spent so much time and mental energy pondering naps. NAPS! And now, no more pondering until the day she drops this last nap altogether.
Please, please ... let that be a long time from now.
Remember when we tried to go from 2 to 1 naps? And then when we went right back to 2 naps?
We made our first attempt at dropping the nap around 11 months. She was napping poorly to sporadically, and was also making the switch from the Bunnies to the Bears room at school. It was very hard to entertain her for multiple hours in the morning, and after 3 weeks of effort, I decided to revert back to the 2 naps. (Especially after my scientific mommy poll revealed that most of my friends had toddlers who still took 2 naps).
I was encouraged that maybe our Girl would continue to take 2 naps, and maybe even longer naps once she started walking!
Ummm ... not so much.
Our Girl is an excellent sleeper at night, and used to be a wonderful napper before starting daycare at 12 weeks. I believe that daycare really messed with her napping, or perhaps she just evolved into a poor napper, but that is what she is. I've learned (am learning) to deal with it.
I had a lot of trepidation about her move to the big girl room at school, mainly related to the single nap and sleeping on the cot. She really adjusted pretty quickly and was consistently taking a 1 1/2 - 2 hour nap at school within about 2 weeks. Far better than she ever did in the baby room. (Again, I underestimated her and was pleasantly surprised. When will I learn?)
So ... at home, she continued to take 2 decent naps for about a month. Then, ever so slowly, her naps got all wonky. Because she is an early riser, she was taking her first nap from about 8:30-10:00, then her second nap from around 12:30-2:00. Then bedtime at 6:30ish. Then, she just stopped taking the second nap, or cried and fought us until it was too miserable to stand. If you are calculating ... yes, she would be awake from 10:00a until 6:00p. And yes, god-awful.
I knew this was really the sign that she was ready to go to 1 nap. I resisted it - I thought it might be a phase - because I was really enchanted with the idea that she would continue to take 2 good naps well into her 2nd year. It finally became beyond obvious that we needed to make the switch.
About a week ago, I just kept her up through the morning nap and put her down at about 12:30, which is what they do at school. She required far less entertaining than our previous attempt, which was also encouraging. She adjusted very quickly.
We are now in a pretty good place at 14 months. I can count on her sleeping at least an hour, usually 1 1/2 hours, and on a good day 2 hours. I still would love for her to sleep longer, but she consistently sleeps 12 hours at night, so I'll take what I can get.
Hard to believe that I've spent so much time and mental energy pondering naps. NAPS! And now, no more pondering until the day she drops this last nap altogether.
Please, please ... let that be a long time from now.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Mission (not) accomplished
Earlier in the month, I posted about starting a new nap regime to match the program at school.
I would like to issue a retraction.
Our Girl is NOT ready for 1 nap, nor are her parents.
I pretty blindly jumped in to the one-nap routine - thought it would take a few days / weeks to get her used to the new plan. She; however, did not agree. Our first weekend was actually quite promising - by the 3rd day on the new schedule, she took one good long nap - equal to or longer than her previous 2 naps combined. We've been on a downhill slope since then, though.
Many days at school she would sleep only 30 or 45 minutes for the whole day. You can imagine how nice our evenings were. When she was home with me, it was almost impossible to keep her entertained from 6 am to noon by myself, and errands were out of the question because she would briefly fall asleep in the car and then refuse to nap in her crib.
I was pretty exasperated after two weeks of this, and expressed my concern to my super-mom friends. They asked why I didn't have her on different school and home schedules?
Why?
Well, because it never occurred to me!
I have read so much about schedules and how children thrive on consistency. I believe it whole-heartedly. I thought I was doing the best thing for her by keeping her on the same schedule all the time.
You know what is better for her? SLEEP. (And a happy mom).
In further discussions, I've found that many of my friends, whose kids are in all kinds of different daycare situations, have different school and home schedules. And beyond that, many kiddos kept 2 naps well past their first birthday.
So, back to the drawing board. We switched back to our 2 nap schedule on Friday and we were all happier. She took 2 good naps, went to bed on time and slept LATE all weekend. Guess we've (you've) solved the early waking problem, too!
Just confirms that sleep is a fickle bitch. When you think you've got it right, think again. Also, goes to show you that your friends often have a lot better perspective on a situation looking in from the outside - listen to them!
I would like to issue a retraction.
Our Girl is NOT ready for 1 nap, nor are her parents.
I pretty blindly jumped in to the one-nap routine - thought it would take a few days / weeks to get her used to the new plan. She; however, did not agree. Our first weekend was actually quite promising - by the 3rd day on the new schedule, she took one good long nap - equal to or longer than her previous 2 naps combined. We've been on a downhill slope since then, though.
Many days at school she would sleep only 30 or 45 minutes for the whole day. You can imagine how nice our evenings were. When she was home with me, it was almost impossible to keep her entertained from 6 am to noon by myself, and errands were out of the question because she would briefly fall asleep in the car and then refuse to nap in her crib.
I was pretty exasperated after two weeks of this, and expressed my concern to my super-mom friends. They asked why I didn't have her on different school and home schedules?
Why?
Well, because it never occurred to me!
I have read so much about schedules and how children thrive on consistency. I believe it whole-heartedly. I thought I was doing the best thing for her by keeping her on the same schedule all the time.
You know what is better for her? SLEEP. (And a happy mom).
In further discussions, I've found that many of my friends, whose kids are in all kinds of different daycare situations, have different school and home schedules. And beyond that, many kiddos kept 2 naps well past their first birthday.
So, back to the drawing board. We switched back to our 2 nap schedule on Friday and we were all happier. She took 2 good naps, went to bed on time and slept LATE all weekend. Guess we've (you've) solved the early waking problem, too!
Just confirms that sleep is a fickle bitch. When you think you've got it right, think again. Also, goes to show you that your friends often have a lot better perspective on a situation looking in from the outside - listen to them!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Bracing myself
A new nap regime starts today.
Not really by my choosing - more that she needs to be on a different schedule when she moves up to the Bears room at school. They worked with her the last two days, so I feel obligated to follow through.
In contrast to my prior obsessive planning, I am flying by the seat of my pants on this one. A bit of denial, I think.
And a bit of perspective on the whole thing, I think, as we round the corner on a year of this parenting business. I will read, and tinker with our schedule, and perseverate some, but I now realize it just happens. It's part of the process. It's OK.
Not really by my choosing - more that she needs to be on a different schedule when she moves up to the Bears room at school. They worked with her the last two days, so I feel obligated to follow through.
In contrast to my prior obsessive planning, I am flying by the seat of my pants on this one. A bit of denial, I think.
And a bit of perspective on the whole thing, I think, as we round the corner on a year of this parenting business. I will read, and tinker with our schedule, and perseverate some, but I now realize it just happens. It's part of the process. It's OK.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Perfect Storm
Weaning + Development + ?Growth Spurt + Poor Naps = WHOA.
I'm finding 9 months to be a challenge. I think it is really the first glimpse into the rest of our lives - "constant vigilance" appears to be the theme. Those babies are full of trickery - just when you get past the sleep deprived stumbling and reach a place of relative calm, everything changes.
Don't get me wrong, I'm obviously thrilled that she is exploring and moving as expected, but it does take some getting used to. We finally rearranged all the furniture to make things more Girly-friendly. I'm happier not to have a running dialogue of "No. No. Don't touch that. On your bottom please. No Ma'am. You'll hit your head. That's not for you. Please don't touch that. No."
The weaning is going well. Really, better than expected. I'm also feeling fewer pangs of sadness that breastfeeding is coming to an end, and more excitement that the baby acrobatics, nose-grabbing and hitting me in the face while nursing is coming to an end. She is showing me that she is ready. I am, too.
I set up this prolonged weaning schedule, which has been fine, but may need to be expedited. On the days that I've dropped a feeding, I've usually had to pump once just a little bit for relief, and then the next day has been OK without pumping, and by the third day everything seems normal. One factor that I hadn't considered is that my milk supply also seems to be lower for the remaining feedings. So, this coupled with the baby distraction and acrobatics, makes me really question whether Girly is eating enough.
Exhibit A: Our Gal is waking up early. Early. I think it really started before I was full-on weaning, but she is routinely up in the 4's or 5's, which is just not tolerable. It's not everyday, but more days than not. And, she is screaming and mad, not her happy normal self. This usually indicates hunger, and when I've fed her, she will often go back to sleep, but not always. So, I don't know if this is a growth spurt, or that she isn't getting enough milk, or a sinister combination of both. I do know that I want it to be fixed.
Exhibit B: Naps are sucky these days. My former excellent napper has been ruined by daycare, I think. While she has always napped poorly at school (at least 1-2 hours less than at home), it never affected her home napping schedule. Now, it has. She is too young to go to 1 nap, but some days only takes two 30 minute naps. Not enough for me or her. I really feel that her explosion of developmental milestones is playing a role here: when she used to wake early, she might lay there and talk to herself and fall back asleep. Now, it becomes sitting up and crawling around and general "get me out of here-ness". I'll ride out the storm and hope it passes soon.
I hadn't mentioned the biting before, but should. Yes, biting. She bit me while nursing about a month ago for the first time. YEOWCH! After I hollered out in pain, I gave her a firm "NO!" and smacked her arm. I sat her up and she cried big, fat crocodile tears. Then smiled and giggled. Stink-er! It has happened fewer than 5 times, none of which were pleasant. I watch her mouth really closely and can see when she is about to bite me and I pull her off. I think it is boredom on her part.
Again, not something I'll miss.
I'm finding 9 months to be a challenge. I think it is really the first glimpse into the rest of our lives - "constant vigilance" appears to be the theme. Those babies are full of trickery - just when you get past the sleep deprived stumbling and reach a place of relative calm, everything changes.
Don't get me wrong, I'm obviously thrilled that she is exploring and moving as expected, but it does take some getting used to. We finally rearranged all the furniture to make things more Girly-friendly. I'm happier not to have a running dialogue of "No. No. Don't touch that. On your bottom please. No Ma'am. You'll hit your head. That's not for you. Please don't touch that. No."
The weaning is going well. Really, better than expected. I'm also feeling fewer pangs of sadness that breastfeeding is coming to an end, and more excitement that the baby acrobatics, nose-grabbing and hitting me in the face while nursing is coming to an end. She is showing me that she is ready. I am, too.
I set up this prolonged weaning schedule, which has been fine, but may need to be expedited. On the days that I've dropped a feeding, I've usually had to pump once just a little bit for relief, and then the next day has been OK without pumping, and by the third day everything seems normal. One factor that I hadn't considered is that my milk supply also seems to be lower for the remaining feedings. So, this coupled with the baby distraction and acrobatics, makes me really question whether Girly is eating enough.
Exhibit A: Our Gal is waking up early. Early. I think it really started before I was full-on weaning, but she is routinely up in the 4's or 5's, which is just not tolerable. It's not everyday, but more days than not. And, she is screaming and mad, not her happy normal self. This usually indicates hunger, and when I've fed her, she will often go back to sleep, but not always. So, I don't know if this is a growth spurt, or that she isn't getting enough milk, or a sinister combination of both. I do know that I want it to be fixed.
Exhibit B: Naps are sucky these days. My former excellent napper has been ruined by daycare, I think. While she has always napped poorly at school (at least 1-2 hours less than at home), it never affected her home napping schedule. Now, it has. She is too young to go to 1 nap, but some days only takes two 30 minute naps. Not enough for me or her. I really feel that her explosion of developmental milestones is playing a role here: when she used to wake early, she might lay there and talk to herself and fall back asleep. Now, it becomes sitting up and crawling around and general "get me out of here-ness". I'll ride out the storm and hope it passes soon.
I hadn't mentioned the biting before, but should. Yes, biting. She bit me while nursing about a month ago for the first time. YEOWCH! After I hollered out in pain, I gave her a firm "NO!" and smacked her arm. I sat her up and she cried big, fat crocodile tears. Then smiled and giggled. Stink-er! It has happened fewer than 5 times, none of which were pleasant. I watch her mouth really closely and can see when she is about to bite me and I pull her off. I think it is boredom on her part.
Again, not something I'll miss.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Random Thoughts: 6 months
Moving into week 24 (5 1/2 months, not 6 - again, bad math!) ...
Life is good!
Our Girl is happy and rested and on the brink of starting solids, which sounds fun, but I'm sure I'll miss the simplicity of just nursing.
I feel like our life is back to normal. Not the old normal, mind you, but a new normal that is really nice.
Only a few pounds of babyweight still linger, which I am very thankful for. Things certainly are not in the places they used to be, but I just didn't know what to expect and have been pleasantly surprised.
I had really hoped to breastfeed/pump for the first 6 months, and now that we are there, I don't really see any reason to stop. It is easy, inexpensive, and nice cuddle time. I already have wisps of sadness when I watch her nurse and realize that it won't last forever.
Pumping is still going well and it's a lot better to only pump twice at work. I haven't had any problems with my supply. I have noticed that the total amount I pump during the day is slowly decreasing (at a high of 21oz. at work, now more like 17oz.), but I still pump more during the day than she needs for bottles. I think it is probably due to drinking less fluids at work and being more active.
Just one more thing on sleeping (yeah, right!) ... This is a little chart that my very wise friend sent me and it's great for reference. (Seriously, she is on my speed dial for Mommy S.O.S.!)
Exersaucers are a god-send! Girly loves to be upright (she is nosy) and it keeps her entertained forEVER. As a side note, there is something about being in an exersaucer that induces pooping - beware!
Finally, check out The Soft Landing. It is a great website, started by a nurse, with all kinds of safe feeding items for baby. I have been using it as reference for a while now (good blog, and VIDEOS of items in use - genius!) and just realized that they are located in the Kansas City area! They are a web-only business, but for those of you who are local, you can order on their website and pick-up in Olathe to save shipping. Love supporting those local businesses!
Now, off to work on my order .... baby feeding supplies here we come!
(Any advice?)
Life is good!
Our Girl is happy and rested and on the brink of starting solids, which sounds fun, but I'm sure I'll miss the simplicity of just nursing.
I feel like our life is back to normal. Not the old normal, mind you, but a new normal that is really nice.
Only a few pounds of babyweight still linger, which I am very thankful for. Things certainly are not in the places they used to be, but I just didn't know what to expect and have been pleasantly surprised.
I had really hoped to breastfeed/pump for the first 6 months, and now that we are there, I don't really see any reason to stop. It is easy, inexpensive, and nice cuddle time. I already have wisps of sadness when I watch her nurse and realize that it won't last forever.
Pumping is still going well and it's a lot better to only pump twice at work. I haven't had any problems with my supply. I have noticed that the total amount I pump during the day is slowly decreasing (at a high of 21oz. at work, now more like 17oz.), but I still pump more during the day than she needs for bottles. I think it is probably due to drinking less fluids at work and being more active.
Just one more thing on sleeping (yeah, right!) ... This is a little chart that my very wise friend sent me and it's great for reference. (Seriously, she is on my speed dial for Mommy S.O.S.!)
How much sleep does your child really need? Use these guidelines:
1 week old: 16.5 total hours, including 4 naps
1 month: 15.5 total hours, including 3 naps
3 months: 15 total hours, including 3 naps
6 months: 14.25 total hours, including 2 naps
9 months: 14 total hours, including 2 naps
1 year: 13.75 total hours, including 2 naps
18 months: 13.5 total hours, including 1 nap
Age 2: 13 total hours, including 1 nap
Age 3: 12 total hours, including 1 nap
Age 4: 11.5 total hours, with no naps
Ages 5 to 9: 10-11 total hours, with no naps
Ages 10 to 15: 9-10 total hours, with no naps
Source: Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems (Simon & Schuster)by Richard Ferber, MD
I've been thinking quite a bit about our morning wake time of 6:00am. I picked that time WAY back when we were first implementing sleep training. I thought that was the time we would need when I went back to work. It works fine for us, but 6:00am is pretty early on those days at home and weekends. (Believe me, as a former night owl, it is shocking to me that 7:00am sounds like heaven!). My point is this: Some kids are probably just early risers and we may have one of those. It is all we can do to hold her off to 6:00am, but she is still sleeping at least 11 hours, so we can't complain. If I could do it over, I might have thought more creatively about how we could have gotten out of the house with a later wake time. I don't think there is any going back at this point!Exersaucers are a god-send! Girly loves to be upright (she is nosy) and it keeps her entertained forEVER. As a side note, there is something about being in an exersaucer that induces pooping - beware!
Finally, check out The Soft Landing. It is a great website, started by a nurse, with all kinds of safe feeding items for baby. I have been using it as reference for a while now (good blog, and VIDEOS of items in use - genius!) and just realized that they are located in the Kansas City area! They are a web-only business, but for those of you who are local, you can order on their website and pick-up in Olathe to save shipping. Love supporting those local businesses!
Now, off to work on my order .... baby feeding supplies here we come!
(Any advice?)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Carpe Diem
It's really more like "Seize the opportunity", but I don't know Latin.
I know I've spent a ridiculous amount of time talking about our Gal's schedule. She's on it. She's off it. We're changing it. Blah, blah, blah.
I did something totally out of character this week and just went with it.
I was planning to move to the 4 hour schedule this weekend. My smart friend told me to just do it already - rip that band-aid off! But, nooo, how could I do that? In the middle of the week? I had a plan, you know.
Best laid plans ...
We were a little off schedule yesterday: Girly slept in (till 6:30, SOO not my prior definition of sleeping in). And then she took a great nap and I didn't want to wake her just yet. And then she took another great nap! And before I knew it, she was almost on the new schedule. I decided to just go with it - see if I could hold her off until 6:00 to eat and go to bed.
So many variables, you know! Eating later, only 4 feedings, 7oz instead of 6oz, earliest bedtime yet. Yikes! It is enough to push an OCD-mother over the edge. I perseverated about what to do when she woke up early because she was hungry.
You know what? IT WAS FINE. She even slept longer than ever before and was a perfectly delightful girl this morning. Instead of coming home with a color-coded potential new schedule from her daycare teacher, I got a glowing phone call about how well she did today.
I learned that we often underestimate our children. Given the opportunity, they will usually rise to the challenge!
(I also learned that Mr. Medela and I are relaxing our relationship. Feeding/pumping 4 times a day is SUPER).
I know I've spent a ridiculous amount of time talking about our Gal's schedule. She's on it. She's off it. We're changing it. Blah, blah, blah.
I did something totally out of character this week and just went with it.
I was planning to move to the 4 hour schedule this weekend. My smart friend told me to just do it already - rip that band-aid off! But, nooo, how could I do that? In the middle of the week? I had a plan, you know.
Best laid plans ...
We were a little off schedule yesterday: Girly slept in (till 6:30, SOO not my prior definition of sleeping in). And then she took a great nap and I didn't want to wake her just yet. And then she took another great nap! And before I knew it, she was almost on the new schedule. I decided to just go with it - see if I could hold her off until 6:00 to eat and go to bed.
So many variables, you know! Eating later, only 4 feedings, 7oz instead of 6oz, earliest bedtime yet. Yikes! It is enough to push an OCD-mother over the edge. I perseverated about what to do when she woke up early because she was hungry.
You know what? IT WAS FINE. She even slept longer than ever before and was a perfectly delightful girl this morning. Instead of coming home with a color-coded potential new schedule from her daycare teacher, I got a glowing phone call about how well she did today.
I learned that we often underestimate our children. Given the opportunity, they will usually rise to the challenge!
(I also learned that Mr. Medela and I are relaxing our relationship. Feeding/pumping 4 times a day is SUPER).
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Hi, My Name is Molly and I'm an Addict
Addicted to THE LOG, that is.
It is like a security blanket. Or an accessory brain. Or crack.
I confess that I have an embarrassing number of sheets of paper detailing the Girl's every feeding, diaper and amount of sleep for a ridiculously long time.
It was critical to keep track of all of this for the first few days, weeks even, but months? I just keep doing it and I can't stop! I see those sideways glances from my husband, like "Still? You're doing it still?" He just chalks it up to a "mom thing" and avoids the conversation.
I'll blame the lactation consultant at the hospital. They sent me home with the form and innocently told me to keep track of her feedings. That piece of paper should have a disclaimer on the top: "Warning! Highly addictive!"
Some background may be helpful here ... I am the kind of person who likes to make lists just so I can cross things off. I re-copy grocery lists so they are easy to read and organized. I copy the same appointments into no less than 4 calendars just in case. Say it with me ... A-N-A-L! Give me a form to fill out and a good ink pen and I am a happy girl. You can imagine my delight at finding a form that needed to be filled out so many times a day!
It is kind of cute to look back at all of the sheets of paper. (Yes, I've kept them. I'm telling you - addicted.) The first day home from the hospital, the sheet was perfect. Perfect handwriting. Each notation in it's own slot. Military time! Within about 37 hours you can see that everything is just scribbled wherever it fits and military time is quite challenging to keep track of with no sleep, so forget that.
Initially I truly found it helpful to keep track of how long she fed and how much sleep we were getting and when I took my pain meds. Your doctor will ask about wet and dirty diapers and it is helpful to have a record. Fortunately, our Girl never had trouble growing, but it would be helpful for that, as well. (Also, it is helpful to have the phone number to your lactation consultant at the top of the sheet so you don't have to dig around trying to find it when you need to call them. And, call early in the morning and leave a message and they will often call you back before they start rounds for the day.)
I just kept going, though. It allowed me to put a tiny part of my brain on paper so I didn't have to remember, "Left or Right?" When we started Cry It Out, I made notes about how long she cried so I could see our progress. It is so easy to forget what happens just a few days prior. When we made schedule changes, I kept good notes about bottles and naps and total amounts of sleep so I could try to problem solve if needed. She only has dirty diapers every few days now, so I can look at the log and see when I might expect a blow out. You know, useful stuff!
I felt (a little) vindicated yesterday when the Chronicles of a Babywise Mom blog wrote about keeping a log in the "good times", not only when you are making a change (she advocates keeping a log when you are dropping feedings or changing naps - you can see why I love her). If you don't know the typical pattern, it is hard to problem solve.
So, we'll try to make the switch to the 4 hour schedule this weekend. You can bet I'll be using my log to keep track of every.little.thing.
After we accomplish that? Who knows ...
It is like a security blanket. Or an accessory brain. Or crack.
I confess that I have an embarrassing number of sheets of paper detailing the Girl's every feeding, diaper and amount of sleep for a ridiculously long time.
It was critical to keep track of all of this for the first few days, weeks even, but months? I just keep doing it and I can't stop! I see those sideways glances from my husband, like "Still? You're doing it still?" He just chalks it up to a "mom thing" and avoids the conversation.
I'll blame the lactation consultant at the hospital. They sent me home with the form and innocently told me to keep track of her feedings. That piece of paper should have a disclaimer on the top: "Warning! Highly addictive!"
Some background may be helpful here ... I am the kind of person who likes to make lists just so I can cross things off. I re-copy grocery lists so they are easy to read and organized. I copy the same appointments into no less than 4 calendars just in case. Say it with me ... A-N-A-L! Give me a form to fill out and a good ink pen and I am a happy girl. You can imagine my delight at finding a form that needed to be filled out so many times a day!
It is kind of cute to look back at all of the sheets of paper. (Yes, I've kept them. I'm telling you - addicted.) The first day home from the hospital, the sheet was perfect. Perfect handwriting. Each notation in it's own slot. Military time! Within about 37 hours you can see that everything is just scribbled wherever it fits and military time is quite challenging to keep track of with no sleep, so forget that.
Initially I truly found it helpful to keep track of how long she fed and how much sleep we were getting and when I took my pain meds. Your doctor will ask about wet and dirty diapers and it is helpful to have a record. Fortunately, our Girl never had trouble growing, but it would be helpful for that, as well. (Also, it is helpful to have the phone number to your lactation consultant at the top of the sheet so you don't have to dig around trying to find it when you need to call them. And, call early in the morning and leave a message and they will often call you back before they start rounds for the day.)
I just kept going, though. It allowed me to put a tiny part of my brain on paper so I didn't have to remember, "Left or Right?" When we started Cry It Out, I made notes about how long she cried so I could see our progress. It is so easy to forget what happens just a few days prior. When we made schedule changes, I kept good notes about bottles and naps and total amounts of sleep so I could try to problem solve if needed. She only has dirty diapers every few days now, so I can look at the log and see when I might expect a blow out. You know, useful stuff!
I felt (a little) vindicated yesterday when the Chronicles of a Babywise Mom blog wrote about keeping a log in the "good times", not only when you are making a change (she advocates keeping a log when you are dropping feedings or changing naps - you can see why I love her). If you don't know the typical pattern, it is hard to problem solve.
So, we'll try to make the switch to the 4 hour schedule this weekend. You can bet I'll be using my log to keep track of every.little.thing.
After we accomplish that? Who knows ...
Thursday, May 7, 2009
My daughter can read!
That has to be the explanation.
It is clear that she wriggled her way over to my laptop, checked out the blog, and read all about my efforts to get her on schedule.
And she laughed that great baby laugh.
"Ha, Mom! You think you know me? Think again!"
This time I was prepared for change, I just wasn't prepared for the when. Already? Didn't we just do this?
When your daycare teachers start to comment on needing a new nap schedule and they make jokes like, "See, she's telling you she doesn't like her schedule!", I guess it is time to give in.
I'm hesitant because it is the change to the FOUR HOUR SCHEDULE. This is 4 feedings. This is 2 naps. This is BIG. (Well, big in my exciting world of over-analyzing your 5-month-old). I do feel like it is significant - she will likely (!) be on this schedule for about the next 6 months and I don't want to rush it.
She isn't showing me the signs I am looking for that indicate I need to make the switch. She isn't sleeping through her feedings (rather, it is the opposite - she is up early and needs to be entertained before it is time to eat), and she isn't acting uninterested in eating (again, the opposite - she acts like she has never seen food before).
On the flip side, she has been taking 3-4 short naps and she really does need to move to 2 better naps. It is more restful for her and will make my life easier being home only twice a day instead of four times a day. Plus, her teachers will like me again.
I initially thought I would mess with her schedule to keep 5 feedings and 3 naps, but the math just doesn't work with a 6am wake time and a 7pm bedtime and a 430pm pick up at daycare. Not to mention that at 6 months she really should be at 2 naps and that is only a few weeks away.
I decided to take advantage of the Memorial Day holiday to move to the 4 hour schedule. She'll be home with me for 5 days in a row and I think we can set the stage pretty well. Between now and then I'll move her feedings around and try to get 2 good naps and 1 catnap in the afternoons. We'll end up with feedings at 6a, 10a, 2p and 6p. Lots of kids do well with 12 hours of sleep at night, but if she goes to bed at 630, her Dad will never see her. So, I think she'll eat and have a bath and be in bed at 7pm.
Who wouldn't like that?
After her 6 month check-up we will start to add solids, so don't worry, I'll still have something to hyper focus on.
It is clear that she wriggled her way over to my laptop, checked out the blog, and read all about my efforts to get her on schedule.
And she laughed that great baby laugh.
"Ha, Mom! You think you know me? Think again!"
This time I was prepared for change, I just wasn't prepared for the when. Already? Didn't we just do this?
When your daycare teachers start to comment on needing a new nap schedule and they make jokes like, "See, she's telling you she doesn't like her schedule!", I guess it is time to give in.
I'm hesitant because it is the change to the FOUR HOUR SCHEDULE. This is 4 feedings. This is 2 naps. This is BIG. (Well, big in my exciting world of over-analyzing your 5-month-old). I do feel like it is significant - she will likely (!) be on this schedule for about the next 6 months and I don't want to rush it.
She isn't showing me the signs I am looking for that indicate I need to make the switch. She isn't sleeping through her feedings (rather, it is the opposite - she is up early and needs to be entertained before it is time to eat), and she isn't acting uninterested in eating (again, the opposite - she acts like she has never seen food before).
On the flip side, she has been taking 3-4 short naps and she really does need to move to 2 better naps. It is more restful for her and will make my life easier being home only twice a day instead of four times a day. Plus, her teachers will like me again.
I initially thought I would mess with her schedule to keep 5 feedings and 3 naps, but the math just doesn't work with a 6am wake time and a 7pm bedtime and a 430pm pick up at daycare. Not to mention that at 6 months she really should be at 2 naps and that is only a few weeks away.
I decided to take advantage of the Memorial Day holiday to move to the 4 hour schedule. She'll be home with me for 5 days in a row and I think we can set the stage pretty well. Between now and then I'll move her feedings around and try to get 2 good naps and 1 catnap in the afternoons. We'll end up with feedings at 6a, 10a, 2p and 6p. Lots of kids do well with 12 hours of sleep at night, but if she goes to bed at 630, her Dad will never see her. So, I think she'll eat and have a bath and be in bed at 7pm.
Who wouldn't like that?
After her 6 month check-up we will start to add solids, so don't worry, I'll still have something to hyper focus on.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Note to self
I always have to remind myself that crying at naptime and bedtime isn't a bad thing. Some babies NEED to cry as part of the soothing process.
The goal isn't to go to sleep quietly (although that is really nice). The goal is to go to sleep independently, whichever way works for your kiddo.
And, just to reinforce that crying has its purpose, we are back to sleeping through the night from bedtime to waketime. Only took three nights of not going into her room, each night better than the one before.
Except for last night when she cried out at 1:15am with a weird cry. I went to check on her and her head was pushed up against the bars of her crib.
I made an exception for that one.
The goal isn't to go to sleep quietly (although that is really nice). The goal is to go to sleep independently, whichever way works for your kiddo.
And, just to reinforce that crying has its purpose, we are back to sleeping through the night from bedtime to waketime. Only took three nights of not going into her room, each night better than the one before.
Except for last night when she cried out at 1:15am with a weird cry. I went to check on her and her head was pushed up against the bars of her crib.
I made an exception for that one.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Taking my own advice
We're officially on Day 5 of the new schedule with improvements on all fronts. And, I'm pretty sure about the time I feel confidant that all is settled, we'll be on to the next schedule ...
As mentioned, I moved Girly from 4.5 to 5 to 5.5 ounces over about 2 weeks. She did fine the first night after a day of 5.5 oz bottles, but she cried a lot during the second night. I wasn't sure if it was hunger or not, so I tried out 6oz bottles on Sunday and Monday and she did fine. This is still appropriate for her age, so we'll leave her there for now.
Remember what I said about "Start as you mean to go?" ... well ... we had gotten off track. After working so hard to reach quiet naps and bedtime, it became easy to just give her back the pacifier if she cried out. One time won't hurt, will it? She already knows how to soothe herself to sleep, right?
One time turned into several times a night and turned into several weeks of stumbling through the hall at 3am. Yes, I was only up for a minute, but disrupted sleep does not equal happy Mom. I kept thinking that it would just get better - that she would grow out of the habit.
Ha.
Also, remember what I said about parents teaching their children bad habits? Yep, guilty. I slowly acknowledged that our weeks of replacing the pacifier as a stop-gap method to get her to sleep had reinforced the night waking.
After polling my very wise friends who are better at this than I am, I've gone back to being hard core. I let her cry during naps and especially at bedtime and during the night. I'm not above giving her the pacifier once, but I have to hear in her cry that she is tired and will fall asleep and not that my visit to her room will stimulate her and make her think it is happyfunplaytime.
I was robbing her of the opportunity to learn to self-soothe. I just assumed that if I didn't go in, she would cry long and hard. In reality, it is almost always less than 10 minutes. Plus, she is learning to find her fingers/thumb to suck on, which helps. (She isn't quite to the point of finding her pacifier and putting it back in her mouth).
(As I type this, she woke from a deep sleep, cried for 4 minutes and fell back asleep).
One of the great quotes I read about "crying it out" was along the lines of this .... your child may cry for 10 or 20 minutes while falling asleep for a nap, and then sleep for 1-2 hours. If you can't stand to hear them cry that long and get them up, you are robbing them of hours of good sleep that they need. It is helpful to re-frame all of this: you are teaching them skills they need for life and providing them with restorative sleep.
So, the last two nights we have committed to not going into her room at all after she goes down to bed. She has cried less than 10 minutes while falling asleep and during any night waking. We went from going into her room up to 5 times a night, to last night she only woke once and went back to sleep. I peeked in from the door to make sure she was OK (and she was, of course).
(** this is one of the great things about foregoing bumpers in the crib - I can see into her bed from the door to make sure she is OK, without her really seeing me**)
Everyone is more rested and we're on the right track (again) ...
As mentioned, I moved Girly from 4.5 to 5 to 5.5 ounces over about 2 weeks. She did fine the first night after a day of 5.5 oz bottles, but she cried a lot during the second night. I wasn't sure if it was hunger or not, so I tried out 6oz bottles on Sunday and Monday and she did fine. This is still appropriate for her age, so we'll leave her there for now.
Remember what I said about "Start as you mean to go?" ... well ... we had gotten off track. After working so hard to reach quiet naps and bedtime, it became easy to just give her back the pacifier if she cried out. One time won't hurt, will it? She already knows how to soothe herself to sleep, right?
One time turned into several times a night and turned into several weeks of stumbling through the hall at 3am. Yes, I was only up for a minute, but disrupted sleep does not equal happy Mom. I kept thinking that it would just get better - that she would grow out of the habit.
Ha.
Also, remember what I said about parents teaching their children bad habits? Yep, guilty. I slowly acknowledged that our weeks of replacing the pacifier as a stop-gap method to get her to sleep had reinforced the night waking.
After polling my very wise friends who are better at this than I am, I've gone back to being hard core. I let her cry during naps and especially at bedtime and during the night. I'm not above giving her the pacifier once, but I have to hear in her cry that she is tired and will fall asleep and not that my visit to her room will stimulate her and make her think it is happyfunplaytime.
I was robbing her of the opportunity to learn to self-soothe. I just assumed that if I didn't go in, she would cry long and hard. In reality, it is almost always less than 10 minutes. Plus, she is learning to find her fingers/thumb to suck on, which helps. (She isn't quite to the point of finding her pacifier and putting it back in her mouth).
(As I type this, she woke from a deep sleep, cried for 4 minutes and fell back asleep).
One of the great quotes I read about "crying it out" was along the lines of this .... your child may cry for 10 or 20 minutes while falling asleep for a nap, and then sleep for 1-2 hours. If you can't stand to hear them cry that long and get them up, you are robbing them of hours of good sleep that they need. It is helpful to re-frame all of this: you are teaching them skills they need for life and providing them with restorative sleep.
So, the last two nights we have committed to not going into her room at all after she goes down to bed. She has cried less than 10 minutes while falling asleep and during any night waking. We went from going into her room up to 5 times a night, to last night she only woke once and went back to sleep. I peeked in from the door to make sure she was OK (and she was, of course).
(** this is one of the great things about foregoing bumpers in the crib - I can see into her bed from the door to make sure she is OK, without her really seeing me**)
Everyone is more rested and we're on the right track (again) ...
Saturday, April 18, 2009
24 hours in ...
So far, so good with the Big Switch.
The Girl really didn't seem phased by dropping a feeding and moving bedtime around, at least not that she let us know (yet).
Our Girl has been on a 3 hour eating schedule pretty much since birth. I fed her every 3 hours when we came home from the hospital. "They" say you should have 8-12 feedings in 24 hours, but I think there have only been one or two days in her life when she had more than 8. She just didn't demand food and she was growing fine, so 8 worked well. Since she started sleeping well pretty early, she was at 7 feedings in 24 hours pretty early on.
About the time she really slept through the night and we started the "cry it out" (around 6 weeks), she was down to 6 feedings a day (6a, 9a, 12p, 3p, 6p, 9p).
Some babies stretch out the 3 hour feeding schedule pretty early, but since she slept so long at night, I really felt she needed the nutrition during the day.
At about 11 weeks, we started to move up the 9pm feeding by 15 minute increments. When I started back to work at 12 weeks, her last feedings of the day were at 530p and 830p. At 15 weeks the last feeding was at 815p and at 16 weeks the last feeding was at 8p.
I began to notice that she only "snacked" at the 530p feeding - nursed a few minutes each side and really preferred to chat instead. She would then take a full feeding before bed. I wanted it to be the reverse, and took this as a sign that she was ready to drop a feeding. In retrospect, I also think this had something to do with the fact that she was getting 3-4 bottles on daycare days instead of her typical 1 on home days.
(Side note: When we started the bottle at 3 weeks we arbitrarily picked 4 oz. and she did fine. We moved up to 4.5 oz. pretty shortly thereafter, and really never increased it again. The Girl rarely acts hungry, so it is hard to tell if she needs more).
I tried to ease the adjustment from 6 to 5 feedings. I changed the evening feedings to 545 and 745p for several days, then we had an illness interruption, and then the feedings were moved to 600p and 730p for a few days. Starting yesterday, I just combined those feedings into one at 700p. Also, over the last 2 weeks her bottles were moved up to 5 oz. and she did fine (no extra spitting up and still taking the full feeding when due) and now she is getting 5.5 oz.
I decided to make the change over the weekend when we had several days at home to adjust before starting school again next week. Also, being the OCD person I am, I will give her bottles for 3 of her 5 feedings for these few days to help with the adjustment. I want to make sure she is eating enough so if she gets up during the night I can be pretty sure it isn't hunger. It is a lot harder for me to judge when she is just breastfeeding.
Our schedule is now eating at 6a, 930a, 1230p, 330p and 700p (a combo 3/3.5 hour schedule). I would have liked to do a 3.5 hour schedule, but it just doesn't work with our work and daycare schedules, so this will do for now. She still takes 3 or 3.5 naps during the day for a total of 4-5.5 hours of sleep, and then goes to bed at 730p and gets up at 600a.
(Side note 2: Our Girl has always napped more than the "typical" child, and I am totally OK with that. As long as she slept well at night, I didn't care if she had more naps than she "should". I think a lot of kids have 2 good naps and 1 variable nap until about 6 months, then drop to 2 naps. She really is at 3 good naps with a variable 4th nap.)
This is probably way too detailed of an account of the Switch, and in many ways I made it a bigger deal than it needed to be. My challenge was that I read as much as I could about how to do this ... and there isn't much information. I have books that describe sleeping and naps well, and books that describe feeding well, but have yet to come across a book that explains how the two ideally work together (while also taking breastfeeding and milk supply issues into account). The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems comes closest, but she advocates a 4 hour schedule starting at 3-4 months (which generally means 4 daytime feedings), with an extra feeding during the night. No thanks - we are past that.
Maybe the moral of the story is that a book just can't explain exactly how it will work for your child. Most advice says that your child will just let you know when they are ready .... I'm not sure what that means.
Books help, but a lot of it is really paying attention to your baby's cues.
I'm still trying to learn her language, but we'll get there.
The Girl really didn't seem phased by dropping a feeding and moving bedtime around, at least not that she let us know (yet).
Our Girl has been on a 3 hour eating schedule pretty much since birth. I fed her every 3 hours when we came home from the hospital. "They" say you should have 8-12 feedings in 24 hours, but I think there have only been one or two days in her life when she had more than 8. She just didn't demand food and she was growing fine, so 8 worked well. Since she started sleeping well pretty early, she was at 7 feedings in 24 hours pretty early on.
About the time she really slept through the night and we started the "cry it out" (around 6 weeks), she was down to 6 feedings a day (6a, 9a, 12p, 3p, 6p, 9p).
Some babies stretch out the 3 hour feeding schedule pretty early, but since she slept so long at night, I really felt she needed the nutrition during the day.
At about 11 weeks, we started to move up the 9pm feeding by 15 minute increments. When I started back to work at 12 weeks, her last feedings of the day were at 530p and 830p. At 15 weeks the last feeding was at 815p and at 16 weeks the last feeding was at 8p.
I began to notice that she only "snacked" at the 530p feeding - nursed a few minutes each side and really preferred to chat instead. She would then take a full feeding before bed. I wanted it to be the reverse, and took this as a sign that she was ready to drop a feeding. In retrospect, I also think this had something to do with the fact that she was getting 3-4 bottles on daycare days instead of her typical 1 on home days.
(Side note: When we started the bottle at 3 weeks we arbitrarily picked 4 oz. and she did fine. We moved up to 4.5 oz. pretty shortly thereafter, and really never increased it again. The Girl rarely acts hungry, so it is hard to tell if she needs more).
I tried to ease the adjustment from 6 to 5 feedings. I changed the evening feedings to 545 and 745p for several days, then we had an illness interruption, and then the feedings were moved to 600p and 730p for a few days. Starting yesterday, I just combined those feedings into one at 700p. Also, over the last 2 weeks her bottles were moved up to 5 oz. and she did fine (no extra spitting up and still taking the full feeding when due) and now she is getting 5.5 oz.
I decided to make the change over the weekend when we had several days at home to adjust before starting school again next week. Also, being the OCD person I am, I will give her bottles for 3 of her 5 feedings for these few days to help with the adjustment. I want to make sure she is eating enough so if she gets up during the night I can be pretty sure it isn't hunger. It is a lot harder for me to judge when she is just breastfeeding.
Our schedule is now eating at 6a, 930a, 1230p, 330p and 700p (a combo 3/3.5 hour schedule). I would have liked to do a 3.5 hour schedule, but it just doesn't work with our work and daycare schedules, so this will do for now. She still takes 3 or 3.5 naps during the day for a total of 4-5.5 hours of sleep, and then goes to bed at 730p and gets up at 600a.
(Side note 2: Our Girl has always napped more than the "typical" child, and I am totally OK with that. As long as she slept well at night, I didn't care if she had more naps than she "should". I think a lot of kids have 2 good naps and 1 variable nap until about 6 months, then drop to 2 naps. She really is at 3 good naps with a variable 4th nap.)
This is probably way too detailed of an account of the Switch, and in many ways I made it a bigger deal than it needed to be. My challenge was that I read as much as I could about how to do this ... and there isn't much information. I have books that describe sleeping and naps well, and books that describe feeding well, but have yet to come across a book that explains how the two ideally work together (while also taking breastfeeding and milk supply issues into account). The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems comes closest, but she advocates a 4 hour schedule starting at 3-4 months (which generally means 4 daytime feedings), with an extra feeding during the night. No thanks - we are past that.
Maybe the moral of the story is that a book just can't explain exactly how it will work for your child. Most advice says that your child will just let you know when they are ready .... I'm not sure what that means.
Books help, but a lot of it is really paying attention to your baby's cues.
I'm still trying to learn her language, but we'll get there.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Whoops, we broke our baby
Ahhh .... how quickly you forget.
As I've said, we worked darn hard to get our Girl to sleep and nap well. All of our hard work paid off and we had a pretty blissful existence for weeks 10-17 of her life. Starting at about 4 months, though, some little issues started to sneak in.
I've read that some sleep issues can crop up around 4 months, perhaps having to do with the fact that your baby is getting much stronger, more independent and on the verge of reaching a lot of developmental milestones.
Naps still went pretty smoothly for us, and she went to sleep really easily, but there started to be lots of waking during the night. During the early morning hours. Boo.
At first it would just be once or twice a night - she would cry out from a deep sleep and would fall right back to sleep if we put her pacifier back in her mouth. Then, it became several times a night, usually between midnight and 4am. And, it appeared that she was wiggling out of her swaddle, or at least getting her hands up by her face.
We struggled with the correct response ... give her the pacifier or cry it out? Since she fell back asleep so easily, it seemed easiest to replace the pacifier. Multiple minutes of crying at 3:15am doesn't seem like the right solution for anyone. However, we got to the point of replacing the pacifier 4 or 5 or 6 times a night, which was a bad habit.
To further complicate matters, I really felt the swaddle was the root of her problems. I thought she was wiggling around so much that she woke herself up and cried. I loved the swaddle, and still do. It was becoming clear, though, that she was just getting too big and too strong and it needed to go.
It happens that all of this took place the week or two before I planned to move around her feeding and sleeping schedule and I knew it wasn't fair to do all of it at the same time. I had to postpone the feeding schedule change due to sickness, but on Saturday morning she was her normal happy self and I took advantage of the opportunity to de-Swaddle.
Wow.
I miss my easy baby!
I decided to go cold turkey on the swaddle. I've read lots of opinions, but most said it didn't really matter if you did one arm out, two arms out, then quit. I found an internet post from the maker of The Miracle Blanket and he also recommended cold turkey as the best way to go. (You can find anything on the internets!) I never used The Miracle Blanket, but even the maker said 4 months is about the time to stop using it.
Girly was almost always quiet in her bed, or she cried a little and fell asleep. The first day I heard her talking in her bed and going back to sleep on her own, I thought the swaddle could go. I just picked her next nap and substituted a Sleep Sack for the Swaddle Me. You may be asking yourself - "why is she using another prop that will need to go later?" True - this might bite me - but I think the routine is a good sleep cue.
Lots of crying ensued. A 4-month-old can cry longer and harder than a 6-week-old and it makes me happy we did our sleep training way back when!
It is also fascinating that Girly really didn't know what to do with her arms. She never had the experience of having "arms" in her bed when she slept, so they just flailed about. She would hit herself or take her pacifier out and then get mad. She also slept like a mummy with her arms out in front of her. (Cute!)
She napped pretty poorly Saturday and Sunday, although she was so exhausted by bedtime that she went to sleep pretty well. She apparently did well at daycare on Monday, and did so-so at home on Tuesday. Tuesday night was good - she went to bed without a peep and only woke once in the wee hours of the morning. She woke up happy at 5:15am - too early - but she talked in bed for about half an hour before really getting mad.
I am hopeful that she will be "adjusted" by this weekend. And, I am hopeful that the middle of the night shout outs will be a thing of the past, because I'm still not sure what the "proper" response is.
Next task: Move from 6 to 5 feedings and move bedtime to 7pm.
So help us God.
As I've said, we worked darn hard to get our Girl to sleep and nap well. All of our hard work paid off and we had a pretty blissful existence for weeks 10-17 of her life. Starting at about 4 months, though, some little issues started to sneak in.
I've read that some sleep issues can crop up around 4 months, perhaps having to do with the fact that your baby is getting much stronger, more independent and on the verge of reaching a lot of developmental milestones.
Naps still went pretty smoothly for us, and she went to sleep really easily, but there started to be lots of waking during the night. During the early morning hours. Boo.
At first it would just be once or twice a night - she would cry out from a deep sleep and would fall right back to sleep if we put her pacifier back in her mouth. Then, it became several times a night, usually between midnight and 4am. And, it appeared that she was wiggling out of her swaddle, or at least getting her hands up by her face.
We struggled with the correct response ... give her the pacifier or cry it out? Since she fell back asleep so easily, it seemed easiest to replace the pacifier. Multiple minutes of crying at 3:15am doesn't seem like the right solution for anyone. However, we got to the point of replacing the pacifier 4 or 5 or 6 times a night, which was a bad habit.
To further complicate matters, I really felt the swaddle was the root of her problems. I thought she was wiggling around so much that she woke herself up and cried. I loved the swaddle, and still do. It was becoming clear, though, that she was just getting too big and too strong and it needed to go.
It happens that all of this took place the week or two before I planned to move around her feeding and sleeping schedule and I knew it wasn't fair to do all of it at the same time. I had to postpone the feeding schedule change due to sickness, but on Saturday morning she was her normal happy self and I took advantage of the opportunity to de-Swaddle.
Wow.
I miss my easy baby!
I decided to go cold turkey on the swaddle. I've read lots of opinions, but most said it didn't really matter if you did one arm out, two arms out, then quit. I found an internet post from the maker of The Miracle Blanket and he also recommended cold turkey as the best way to go. (You can find anything on the internets!) I never used The Miracle Blanket, but even the maker said 4 months is about the time to stop using it.
Girly was almost always quiet in her bed, or she cried a little and fell asleep. The first day I heard her talking in her bed and going back to sleep on her own, I thought the swaddle could go. I just picked her next nap and substituted a Sleep Sack for the Swaddle Me. You may be asking yourself - "why is she using another prop that will need to go later?" True - this might bite me - but I think the routine is a good sleep cue.
Lots of crying ensued. A 4-month-old can cry longer and harder than a 6-week-old and it makes me happy we did our sleep training way back when!
It is also fascinating that Girly really didn't know what to do with her arms. She never had the experience of having "arms" in her bed when she slept, so they just flailed about. She would hit herself or take her pacifier out and then get mad. She also slept like a mummy with her arms out in front of her. (Cute!)
She napped pretty poorly Saturday and Sunday, although she was so exhausted by bedtime that she went to sleep pretty well. She apparently did well at daycare on Monday, and did so-so at home on Tuesday. Tuesday night was good - she went to bed without a peep and only woke once in the wee hours of the morning. She woke up happy at 5:15am - too early - but she talked in bed for about half an hour before really getting mad.
I am hopeful that she will be "adjusted" by this weekend. And, I am hopeful that the middle of the night shout outs will be a thing of the past, because I'm still not sure what the "proper" response is.
Next task: Move from 6 to 5 feedings and move bedtime to 7pm.
So help us God.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
STTN
Sleeping Through The Night, that is.
My primary goal before I had the Girl was to get her to sleep through the night before I went back to work. Although she is a darling, growing, healthy child - this is my proudest achievement to date.
Disclaimer: There are MANY ways to parent your child and MANY opinions about the best way to do it. The bottom line is this - if you are parenting your child with love and your techniques work for your family, then you are doing the right thing. What was best for my family may not be best for your family. Here, however, is what worked for us.
As background, all of our friends have delightful children. Two in particular, however, had children who were excellent (truly, excellent) sleepers from very early on. They primarily followed the methods described in Babywise and I knew that we would try to make this work for us when we had a child of our own. There is a lot of controversy about this book online. I'm not really sure why - I think the critics probably didn't read it. At the end of the day, books don't make you do anything to or for your child. They are tools to help parents figure things out. You can't follow them blindly - you have to use the information and put it in context with your child and family.
I read Babywise during the middle of my pregnancy and then again closer to delivery. I have re-read parts of it over and over. I have found it to be extremely helpful, along with much of the information on the Chronicles of a Babywise Mom blog. The Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child book was also recommended by several friends and I have found it to be a nice supplement to Babywise. Some of the details are different, but they are overall quite similar and the Healthy Sleep Habits book is more detailed about sleep and covers challenges throughout childhood, not just infancy.
We really started from the first day on focusing to get the Girl to take full feedings. She was SO sleepy in the hospital that this was a challenge. We also didn't "room in" in the hospital. This is a personal preference, but I thought it was better for us to try to get some sleep for 3 days before we came home. The Girl was in our room all day and then in the nursery at night, but still brought back in every 3 hours to eat.
She slept in her room in her crib from the first night home. Our room is only a few feet from her room and we used the monitor and heard every sound, but it helped to eliminate another transition from a bassinet to her crib later on.
I firmly believe some kids are born sleepers and some are not. Fortunately, our Girl is of the sleeping variety. My friends both said that they could tell their children would respond well to Babywise. I had no idea what they meant until we had a child of our own and I figured it out ... you will just know if and when they are ready to respond to some sleep training.
As you might expect, it is EXHAUSTING to get up every few hours with your new baby for feedings. I religiously set our alarm clock to wake the Girl to eat every 2.5-3 hours for the first 2 weeks. She literally NEVER woke to eat during the night on her own (and rarely during the day, for that matter). I realize that this likely made our sleep training easier than for those babies who wake up screaming in hunger, but it was our reality.
Many books and specialists will tell you that "by the clock" feedings should be avoided and that you should read your baby's hunger cues and feed on demand. On-demand feeding was not an option for me: 1) the Girl was not demanding and wouldn't ever eat if I left it up to her, and 2) I didn't want to become a pacifier. I really needed to set a schedule for her because she wouldn't do it on her own. This is not to say that I didn't feed her if she appeared to be hungry and she wasn't due to eat "according to the clock". In truth, I still wake her for most feedings even at 13 weeks old.
Once I felt confidant that the Girl was growing (had regained her birthweight and then some) I let her go up to 5 hours at night between feedings, or whenever she woke on her own. (This is measured from the time you wake them to start feeding until the next time you wake them to feed. This does not equal 5 hours of sleep for you!).
Her first night of sleeping 4 hours was at about 12-13 days, and then her first night of sleeping 5 hours was at about 15 days. Her first night of 6 hours was between 3-4 weeks and her first night of 7 hours was at about 5 weeks, and this is for an exclusively breastfed baby. She certainly went back and forth over time, but I knew we could expect her to begin sleeping longer.
By about week 2 we started following the eat / wake / sleep cycle as best as possible. It is hard to keep baby awake for long at first. We also set her first morning feeding at 6:00am (the time we would need when I went back to work) at about 1 month. It probably should have been done earlier ... I had the Girl on a pretty consistent 3 hour schedule, but it was never the same 3 hours because we woke up at a different time each day. She became much more predictable when our days always started at 6:00am (give or take 30 minutes).
You may not believe it, but you really will learn to understand your baby's sleep cues and figure them out sooner rather than later. (The Girl yawns, sneezes and yelps). As described in both Babywise and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, your baby should be taking 1.5-2 hour naps and should not be awake more than 2 hours at a time. Our Girl would never stay awake more than 2 hours. Once I really paid attention, her optimal awake time was more like 50 minutes from the time she woke up until she needed to go back down for a nap. Practically, this meant she woke, fed for about 30 minutes, was awake for about 20 and was back in bed. This awake time will lengthen with age, but we are still at about an hour or an hour and 10 minutes at 13 weeks.
About the time we became consistent with the 6:00am waketime, I worked on actively getting her to sleep when it was time for her to nap. The "5 S's" in Happiest Baby on the Block were useful for this to help to establish the pattern of eating, waking, sleeping.
Our days were great, but bedtime and night feedings became exasperating for me. The Girl would feed great and would appear tired, but would just lay in her crib and NOT SLEEP. We played the game of bouncing, shushing, and replacing the pacifier over and over and over again. She wouldn't scream, but would squawk and grunt and whimper. Before you knew it, you were awake for 2 hours in the middle of the night just trying to get her to sleep and that 6:00am feeding would be right around the corner. My coping skills were wearing thin ...
Now for the controversy ...
I felt the Girl was ready to "cry it out" at about 6 weeks. (For us, this meant allowing crying to fall asleep at naptime and bedtime. We would still get up if she cried during the night to eat, but we let her cry when we put her back in bed to sleep). She had been so easy going and cried very little and really seemed to respond to our schedule. I understand we were lucky! We pieced together a plan that worked for us - started on a Friday night when no one had to work the next day. We planned our naptime and bedtime routine: swaddle, pacifier, rock for 5 minutes, then in bed. We agreed to let her cry 5 minutes and then check and re-plug with the pacifier and walk out. Then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes. You and your partner MUST both be in agreement that this is the right thing and the right time for your family. The crying is hard to listen to and you don't want to cave 20 minutes in. (Note: I did listen to all of the crying rather than leaving to go outside or something. It may frazzle you, but you do learn what the crying means - tired, hungry, mad...)
- Develop a nap routine and a bed routine that you can stick with. Our routines are generally the same, but we add a book at bedtime. The nap routine especially should be something that is brief and can be done other places, like if baby naps at grandmother's house, for example.
- We initially had rocking for 5 minutes in our nap and bed routine, but cut it out after a week or so. This is such special cuddle time for parents, but I don't think it is as important for baby and you run the risk of training them to sleep ONLY with rocking. My great wise friend suggested rocking when you wake up - genius! Still gives you cuddle time and doesn't interfere with sleep training.
- Despite how I've written it, our Girl is not the perfect child. (She is close to perfect, though!). From close to the beginning her evening nap from 7p-9p was dicey and she would scream and scream and we would end up getting her out of bed and putting her in the swing. My wise friend again suggested we just start with the swing at that time of night to avoid the scene. Swings are OK for sleeping as long as your child doesn't NEED it to sleep. The Girl does fine in her crib at all other times, so this is our solution for now.
At 13 weeks, Girly takes 3 good daytime naps (7a-9a, 10a-12p, 1p-3p) when she is at home. She usually takes a shorter nap in the 4p-6p window and then usually sleeps from about 7p-8:30p in her swing before her last feeding. Then, to bed!
We are blessed.
There are sure to be trials and tribulations to come (weaning from the swaddle and pacifier, for example), but we are all happy and rested for now. Life is good.
My primary goal before I had the Girl was to get her to sleep through the night before I went back to work. Although she is a darling, growing, healthy child - this is my proudest achievement to date.
Disclaimer: There are MANY ways to parent your child and MANY opinions about the best way to do it. The bottom line is this - if you are parenting your child with love and your techniques work for your family, then you are doing the right thing. What was best for my family may not be best for your family. Here, however, is what worked for us.
As background, all of our friends have delightful children. Two in particular, however, had children who were excellent (truly, excellent) sleepers from very early on. They primarily followed the methods described in Babywise and I knew that we would try to make this work for us when we had a child of our own. There is a lot of controversy about this book online. I'm not really sure why - I think the critics probably didn't read it. At the end of the day, books don't make you do anything to or for your child. They are tools to help parents figure things out. You can't follow them blindly - you have to use the information and put it in context with your child and family.
I read Babywise during the middle of my pregnancy and then again closer to delivery. I have re-read parts of it over and over. I have found it to be extremely helpful, along with much of the information on the Chronicles of a Babywise Mom blog. The Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child book was also recommended by several friends and I have found it to be a nice supplement to Babywise. Some of the details are different, but they are overall quite similar and the Healthy Sleep Habits book is more detailed about sleep and covers challenges throughout childhood, not just infancy.
We really started from the first day on focusing to get the Girl to take full feedings. She was SO sleepy in the hospital that this was a challenge. We also didn't "room in" in the hospital. This is a personal preference, but I thought it was better for us to try to get some sleep for 3 days before we came home. The Girl was in our room all day and then in the nursery at night, but still brought back in every 3 hours to eat.
She slept in her room in her crib from the first night home. Our room is only a few feet from her room and we used the monitor and heard every sound, but it helped to eliminate another transition from a bassinet to her crib later on.
I firmly believe some kids are born sleepers and some are not. Fortunately, our Girl is of the sleeping variety. My friends both said that they could tell their children would respond well to Babywise. I had no idea what they meant until we had a child of our own and I figured it out ... you will just know if and when they are ready to respond to some sleep training.
As you might expect, it is EXHAUSTING to get up every few hours with your new baby for feedings. I religiously set our alarm clock to wake the Girl to eat every 2.5-3 hours for the first 2 weeks. She literally NEVER woke to eat during the night on her own (and rarely during the day, for that matter). I realize that this likely made our sleep training easier than for those babies who wake up screaming in hunger, but it was our reality.
Many books and specialists will tell you that "by the clock" feedings should be avoided and that you should read your baby's hunger cues and feed on demand. On-demand feeding was not an option for me: 1) the Girl was not demanding and wouldn't ever eat if I left it up to her, and 2) I didn't want to become a pacifier. I really needed to set a schedule for her because she wouldn't do it on her own. This is not to say that I didn't feed her if she appeared to be hungry and she wasn't due to eat "according to the clock". In truth, I still wake her for most feedings even at 13 weeks old.
Once I felt confidant that the Girl was growing (had regained her birthweight and then some) I let her go up to 5 hours at night between feedings, or whenever she woke on her own. (This is measured from the time you wake them to start feeding until the next time you wake them to feed. This does not equal 5 hours of sleep for you!).
Her first night of sleeping 4 hours was at about 12-13 days, and then her first night of sleeping 5 hours was at about 15 days. Her first night of 6 hours was between 3-4 weeks and her first night of 7 hours was at about 5 weeks, and this is for an exclusively breastfed baby. She certainly went back and forth over time, but I knew we could expect her to begin sleeping longer.
By about week 2 we started following the eat / wake / sleep cycle as best as possible. It is hard to keep baby awake for long at first. We also set her first morning feeding at 6:00am (the time we would need when I went back to work) at about 1 month. It probably should have been done earlier ... I had the Girl on a pretty consistent 3 hour schedule, but it was never the same 3 hours because we woke up at a different time each day. She became much more predictable when our days always started at 6:00am (give or take 30 minutes).
You may not believe it, but you really will learn to understand your baby's sleep cues and figure them out sooner rather than later. (The Girl yawns, sneezes and yelps). As described in both Babywise and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, your baby should be taking 1.5-2 hour naps and should not be awake more than 2 hours at a time. Our Girl would never stay awake more than 2 hours. Once I really paid attention, her optimal awake time was more like 50 minutes from the time she woke up until she needed to go back down for a nap. Practically, this meant she woke, fed for about 30 minutes, was awake for about 20 and was back in bed. This awake time will lengthen with age, but we are still at about an hour or an hour and 10 minutes at 13 weeks.
About the time we became consistent with the 6:00am waketime, I worked on actively getting her to sleep when it was time for her to nap. The "5 S's" in Happiest Baby on the Block were useful for this to help to establish the pattern of eating, waking, sleeping.
Our days were great, but bedtime and night feedings became exasperating for me. The Girl would feed great and would appear tired, but would just lay in her crib and NOT SLEEP. We played the game of bouncing, shushing, and replacing the pacifier over and over and over again. She wouldn't scream, but would squawk and grunt and whimper. Before you knew it, you were awake for 2 hours in the middle of the night just trying to get her to sleep and that 6:00am feeding would be right around the corner. My coping skills were wearing thin ...
Now for the controversy ...
I felt the Girl was ready to "cry it out" at about 6 weeks. (For us, this meant allowing crying to fall asleep at naptime and bedtime. We would still get up if she cried during the night to eat, but we let her cry when we put her back in bed to sleep). She had been so easy going and cried very little and really seemed to respond to our schedule. I understand we were lucky! We pieced together a plan that worked for us - started on a Friday night when no one had to work the next day. We planned our naptime and bedtime routine: swaddle, pacifier, rock for 5 minutes, then in bed. We agreed to let her cry 5 minutes and then check and re-plug with the pacifier and walk out. Then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes. You and your partner MUST both be in agreement that this is the right thing and the right time for your family. The crying is hard to listen to and you don't want to cave 20 minutes in. (Note: I did listen to all of the crying rather than leaving to go outside or something. It may frazzle you, but you do learn what the crying means - tired, hungry, mad...)
Girly cried for a total of 1.5 hours the first night, off and on. We also committed to ALL sleeping in the crib from the day we started - naps and bed. I was prepared for a few days of crying at naptime, but she miraculously never really cried when being put down for naps. Her crying at night was always less after the first night, but some nights were better than others. I don't know exactly when it happened, but by 12 weeks (6 weeks after we started) she generally goes down for all naps and bed without a peep. She is sleeping about 9 hours at night consistently.
A few tips:
- If we had the right pacifier for her (see Pacifier post) it might have made the crying even less from the start. There was a lot of crying when the pacifier fell out of her mouth only seconds after we put it in.
- Develop a nap routine and a bed routine that you can stick with. Our routines are generally the same, but we add a book at bedtime. The nap routine especially should be something that is brief and can be done other places, like if baby naps at grandmother's house, for example.
- We initially had rocking for 5 minutes in our nap and bed routine, but cut it out after a week or so. This is such special cuddle time for parents, but I don't think it is as important for baby and you run the risk of training them to sleep ONLY with rocking. My great wise friend suggested rocking when you wake up - genius! Still gives you cuddle time and doesn't interfere with sleep training.
- Despite how I've written it, our Girl is not the perfect child. (She is close to perfect, though!). From close to the beginning her evening nap from 7p-9p was dicey and she would scream and scream and we would end up getting her out of bed and putting her in the swing. My wise friend again suggested we just start with the swing at that time of night to avoid the scene. Swings are OK for sleeping as long as your child doesn't NEED it to sleep. The Girl does fine in her crib at all other times, so this is our solution for now.
At 13 weeks, Girly takes 3 good daytime naps (7a-9a, 10a-12p, 1p-3p) when she is at home. She usually takes a shorter nap in the 4p-6p window and then usually sleeps from about 7p-8:30p in her swing before her last feeding. Then, to bed!
We are blessed.
There are sure to be trials and tribulations to come (weaning from the swaddle and pacifier, for example), but we are all happy and rested for now. Life is good.
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