Snapshots of Revelation

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

hui:

should i?
shoud i not?
should i?
shoud i not?
should i?
shoud i not?

OMG helpppp!!!
who can advise me??

3 months. wat is 3 months to u? is it worth for a gamble?

ahhhhh!!

should i?
shoud i not?

we made a memory at 10:16 PM

ting:

you know who your truly good friends are when in good times, they cheer you on and are happy for you. even though it's still far from a dream come true, their mere happiness of your achievements thus far is contagious. =)

because it's all too easy to be jealous or envious of another person's advancement in life.

and for this, i'm truly blessed with my bestie! =)

we made a memory at 5:44 PM

Monday, October 27, 2008

ting:

jon's laptop barks! well, unless he is hiding a dog away from me but seriously! it has been barking at me for the past 5 minutes!! not a constant "bow wow wow" but more like a random occasional "woof"! and all these is making nick and kelen roll on the floor in fits of laughter. ok, i see the funny side of it, but i sure hope it isn't a virus or a sign his computer is so screwed it now thinks of itself as a dog.

a snippet of my desperate attempt to convince kelen i was not making a mountain out of a molehill:

kelen: msn wink is it?
me: noooooooo! barking! like "wooooooooooooooof"!
kelen: some click or animation?
me: noooooooo! i just left the laptop there and it barked at me!
kelen: maybe it's an alert?
me: but when i use it it barks at me toooooooo!

wahhhhhh! T_T

we made a memory at 12:17 PM

Thursday, October 23, 2008

ting:

praying for endless patience, increased optimistism and a shrinking Goliath. =)

we made a memory at 4:51 PM

Hui:

its been a long time since i have been lame.
pardon me.

欠扁问答题：Eny has released her debut album. Singles. Wat is e title of e song?
Ans: want song find me,I got all kind of song

becos.... check out her msn nick..
Eny_-_want-song-find-me,I-got-all-kind-of-song

*runs*

we made a memory at 12:03 AM

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Hui:

sian...

wat shall be my next step?

i'll go with my gut feelings if it allow..

ps: sometimes im wondering if i'm still e same person as before. have i changed? for better or worse? im aso confused. haha.. whatever la. fuck it man.

we made a memory at 10:54 PM

Sunday, October 19, 2008

ting:

it's funny how some people (like me) only start mourning after everything is over.

the funeral was yesterday and it was probably the most heart-wrenching thing i've ever been through. though i remained strong (i had to) and held back my tears, the floodgates broke loose last night in the shower.

and up till now, the slighest thing makes me want to dissolve in tears. like what the heck, i saw an old woman just now and it made me just want to start bawling in the middle of the shopping mall. and now, reading my cousin's recollection of yesterday made me break down again.

i need to get a grip. we all know he's in a much better place and that God's looking after him. all that pain, suffering and misery from being separated from my grandmother is over. so i should stop feeling this way.

thanks hui, mei and jol for the flowers. :)

and thanks adel, pei and mel for coming to the wake to provide me with moral support despite you guys having a long day at work. it really meant a lot to me. :):):) *loves*

we made a memory at 6:49 PM

Thursday, October 16, 2008

ting:

aren't flowers an absolutely amazing thing? they are so versatile! you can use them to say "i'm sorry for your loss", or "i hope you recover soon". other types of flowers mean "i love you", or "please forgive me". or they can even be used to convey something as simple as "happy birthday" and "congratulations". they're possibly the most amazing plant on earth =)

we've been receiving so many wreaths that we ended up having to line them outside the gate because otherwise, there'd be no space for the guests to come in. i was telling my cousins that after the funeral is over, we can open our own floral shop. and what is amazing that given today's the third day, flowers are still arriving!

that said, here's a special thank you to adel, pei and mel for the beautiful flowers which arrived today. =) and also for all the support and love. i am indeed very blessed. =)

in other news, i'm having the worst flu ever. which is a funny thing to say, because i don't feel sick, my head doesn't hurt, my throat's perfectly fine, i have no fever. the only stupid thing is my nose, which runs like there's no tomorrow. i spent the whole day having a tissue plastered to it (it's a pity there's no tampon in this place. that might free up my hands for other things). perhaps i'm just allergic to all the incense smoke floating around this place. ><

we made a memory at 7:37 PM

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

ting:

and so, it is over and done. the irony is it happened the night where there were no false alarms and when all of us were unusually casual about it. as opposed to sitting around his bedside, we were all out in the living room, with most of us leaving by 10pm (when we usually linger till midnight). and several of my relatives didn't turn up as well.

to all whom i have tentative plans with, i gotta cancel them. sorry!

would also be on leave till next tuesday/wednesday. boy, was my boss a royal b***h about it.

on a random note, it does feel odd to be able to walk, talk, sleep, wake, live your life as usual when you know someone has left this world. and even more so, i feel so incredibly blessed that before me, i still have the opportunity to make the most out of the time i was given, to do the things i love doing, to see the people who means the world to me. it's on days like these you thank God feverently for all the countless blessings in your life, and for the mere fact you're alive and healthy enough to be sitting at your laptop typing this.

maybe this was the wakeup call i needed all along.

we made a memory at 2:27 PM

Sunday, October 12, 2008

ting:

this is one of the nights i feel exceedingly tired. which, come to think of it, doesn't really make much sense because i've been spending alot of time the past few days sleeping. and i guess i really shouldn't complain, when it's my parents, aunts and uncles who are bearing the burnt of it all.

i think i'm tired because everything that's been going on is so mentally and emotionally draining. 3 false alarms on 3 nights out of 5. abandoned dinners, abandoned talks, even jumping the line at a crowded taxi stand (and only because the guy in front was nice enough to let me take his cab). after rushing home, the most i can do is sit around and wait. and so, as some form of distraction, i read every single newspaper in the house. i now know all the banks that are in trouble, and vaguely know the ups and downs of the stock market, which says a lot for someone who hates finance with a passion. on the days i make it to work, i'm so stoned i can't do nuts, so i usually end up reading the australian news and checking the value of the australian currency.

i can't help but wonder. when a person dies, do you remember him/her for the person he/she was all along, or do the memory of the last few days haunt you for the rest of your life? or do you just forget and not think about it?

i think i'm also tired because there's all the constant buzzing regarding permanent residency, jobs and accommodation going on in my head. also the fear (i keep telling myself God will handle things and that i really shouldn't worry) and pressure of the pressing one year deadline.

perhaps i'm also tired because it seems like such an impossible task, trying to strike a balance. even the demand and supply forces in a free market will eventually find equilibrium.

i'm tired. i want a holiday with my camera. i also want refreshment from Him. i need a form of cleansing and rejuveniation that goes so deep within me that at the end of it, "being reborn" would be an understatement.

we made a memory at 2:05 AM

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

ting:

i'm msning with hui who's in japan at the moment and T_T. i wanna go back there! armed WITH a DSLR!

it seems like a very obscene thing to do, comparing which brand of boxed tissues is the cheapest when someone is lying dying at home. then again, my dad sent me out to the supermarket in preparation and judging by the amount of tears being shed, i figured we would need a whole lot of tissues.

as lighthearted as that sounds, no. it's one thing to visualise death. it's another thing altogether to have it staring at you in the face. i have been lucky enough to escape these things (the two deaths that occurred in my extended family happened when i was in australia in the middle of my exams) but i can't help wonder. how much longer will i be this lucky?

i came to the conclusion that 1) i never ever want to live til i'm that old and 2) i never ever want to die surrounded by the ones i love. i guess it's the wish of most to depart this world in the company of those they care about and those who care for them, but how much more painful for the living to witness those final moments. so many false alarms last night. and so many times our hearts nearly stopped before his did.

it has gotten to the point now where i jump every single time my phone rings and i realise it's a call from home because i don't know what message i'd be receiving.

the inevitable will happen. i just hope it won't happen right in front of my eyes.

we made a memory at 8:09 PM

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

ting:

public holiday today! yay! why can't everyday be a public holiday??? (ira: happy hari raya!)

our objective of helping mei change her wardrobe yesterday backfired when i ended up spending more than her. >< and it was all hui's fault!!!! :@:@:@

we made a memory at 2:45 PM