ting:

as adel would probably agree, i give the worse possible advice regarding love. so why am i a love consultant all of a sudden? it all begun a couple of days back, i was curled up on the couch immersed in a book with the radio blaring away in the background. not a very good combination to catch me, because it takes me about half an hour to snap back to reality. earlier in the day, someone from nus called, asking if i would offer to help out at the freshman orientation camp. sigh.. haven't those people updated their records yet? so when the phone rang yet again, i thought it was another nus student seeking my aid.

when the male voice identified himself as timothy, i was thinking, "huh? timothy who?" there was a long pause while i racked my brain for all the likely guys named timothy who would call me. i then realised i was speaking to my best friend's boyfriend. i immediately relaxed, thinking all was good. but his next sentence made me sit up and forget all about the book i was reading. he asked me to ask my best friend exactly what she felt for him and the sadness in his voice just about broke my heart.

i'm glad to say after a little interference on my part, things are (hopefully) going ok for the both of them. though i really hoped the advice i gave him was good. i mean, what do i know? i learnt everything i told him from books!

i realised the best feeling one can have is when you wake up in the middle of the night and the radio happens to be playing your favourite music. :) that enjoyment is priceless.

ting:

hey adel babe, i miss you a lot too! and with regards to your blog entry.. did i say all that? hmmm... i can't wait for december! let's have a chalet again yeah? hopefully this time both neela and zuhairah will be able to join us and our group will be completed for once! and good luck with your cute french guy!!! remember to have a short fling before you come back!

flying back for this cousin's wedding made my other cousin pressure me into coming back in november to attend hers. i couldn't make any promises, seeing i still wasn't sure of how my exam timetable would be like. but it does mean that i won't be able to go for the costa rica student volunteer program. shit. i so wanted to go. sigh.. oh well, there is always next year right? i mean, weddings are a once in a lifetime event (hopefully), i know my presence would mean a lot to her.

yesterday's dinner was good. for one, the restaurant was overlooking fort siloso (the beach) so it seemed pretty romantic and all. though the people did shoot us weird looks when we entered sentosa, all dolled up and ready to party. it was kinda amusing, especially since we were surrounded by tourists wearing shorts and t-shirts and people like my mum was dressed in a floor sweeping ball gown. heh. the cocktail party was really cool, though me neglecting to charge my digital camera caused it to die on me after just one shot! but my cousins made full use of theirs so i'll post up pictures after they have gotten round to sending me what we took.

my cousin was really sweet last night, he dedicated three songs to his bride and sung them himself, on stage. it's nice to have a boyfriend who is musically inclined... he can sing love songs to you! but yeah, i realised last night just what a great guy my cousin is.. his bride is one lucky girl. so maybe not ALL singaporean guys are that bad after all huh? also learnt that if someone says "i can't help falling in love with you" to you, it is actually an insult. it means that the person didn't fall in love with you by choice, more likely, hormones got in the way or something and the person felt compelled to act on it as a result. so the best thing to do if someone says that to you is to slap the person.

fast running out of things to say. just a short note for pei: hey girl, have a great time in melbourne ya? i'm so sorry i came back and ruined our plans, but i'm sure you'll still have a cool holiday. remember to taste the ice cream and dove triple chocolate! hope my winter jacket keeps you warm. :D

ting:

if i ever get married in the future, there is no way i'm gonna get married in singapore, where all my relatives can attend the wedding, gawk, and make stupid comments. want to guess what was the first question posted to me five minutes into the wedding? yup, i think you have it. "when will it be your turn?" are they joking? my uni life just begun! what makes them think i'm gonna give up melbourne for marriage? i was prepared for the "when are you gonna get a boyfriend" grilling. i was prepared for the "when are you getting married" question. what i wasn't prepared for was the intensity and the persistance of these questions. must i necessarily follow in the footsteps of my cousins? it doesn't help much that among all my cousins, you could basically say i am next in line. the only unmarried cousin i have older than me is getting married at the end of this year. so yeah... and to think i have to tolerate more of this tomorrow night, at the dinner. sigh. i think i might just turn lesbian for the night. or fabricate some tall tale about meeting the love of my life in melbourne and getting married THERE.

anyway, i have concluded it is much better to be the bride than groom. because when the bride appears, all eyes and everyone's attention would be on her. her arrival is marked by the guests standing to welcome her and willing hands reach out to help her when she is struggling with the long train of her gown. admiring glances are cast in her direction and people go out of their way to tell her how beautiful she looks. whereas the groom? after the inital congratulations, he is forgotten. heh. today was the first time i saw my normally confident cousin as jumpy as a jack-rabbit. i guess there is a first time for all of us.

as the bride was making her slow walk down the aisle, everyone's attention was fully on her. except mine. my gaze was drawn to my cousin's expression. i wanted to believe that true love exists, and that it is this love which makes them want to be together for the rest of their lives. i wanted to tap into what he was feeling by just watching the way he looks at her, to see how it felt to watch the love of your life inch closer to you with every step. i didn't manage to feel anything, but the look of adoration on his face said a thousand words. the tenderness in the way he took her hand, the way he pulled out her chair. perhaps, just perhaps, love exists.

at the reception after the church ceremony, i got the shock of my life when i saw mr ng casually stroll past. for those who don't know, mr ng was my jc2 civics tutor cum geography lecturer/tutor. and seeing my cousins were in ny once, most of them have been taught by him at some point in time, so he knows all of us. but still, he was the last person i was expecting to see. there was a moment i thought i was seeing things. anyhow, i went up to speak to him (i know neela would probably turn tail and RUN miles in the opposite direction) and he still remembers me! yay! he's quite a nice chap, now that i no longer have to suffer in his tremendously boring geography lectures. he was convinced i was so passionate about geography i would be doing a course in geographical science. right. dream on. i love geog but to devote my whole life to working around rocks? no thank you.

i just finished reading this novel "second glance", written by jodi picoult. ever since after "my sister's keeper", she is by far topping the list of my favourite authors. i love the way she plays around with words and the subtle meaning underlying whole sentences. her books speak volume with the things she left unsaid and she just has this ability to bring the english language up to a whole new level of high art. it's amazing. she writes about really controversial issues which provoke thinking and question your beliefs. the many characters in her books are fictional, but they can just reach out and touch you so deeply it drives you to your knees.

"second glance" is kind of a ghost story, as well as a romance novel which examines the subject of death from many different angles. it isn't the kind of romance stuff you'd expect from nicholas sparks, it certainly is gut-wrenching but not in the boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, girl dies boy cries sort of way. it talks about this guy, ross, who lost his fiance in a car accident. he tried killing himself after that, so he could follow her to the other side but no matter how many times he attempted suicide, he would emerge without a scratch. sheer desperation led him into taking up an interest in the paranormal, in hopes that his fiance would return as a ghost. and in the midst of it all, he stumbles onto a seventy year old secret which chills the blood and gives new reason behind why things happen.

i won't spoil the story for potential readers but this is one good book and another i highly recommend. the ending left me with a bittersweet feeling and a mind which is more receptive to ideas.

just a thought. do we love someone for WHAT they are, instead of WHO they are?

we are also capable of hurting those we love by loving them too much.

Hui:

i'm someone who cant resist temptations. e temptations of wanting to noe something even though i noe for sure tt it will bring nothing but trouble. "ignorance is bliss" this phrase has effect zero on me. i guess tt's me. i'm always looking for trouble. always wanna noe abt everything and anything tt interests me.

killed by curiousity. may i rest in peace.

ting:

pei fei is possibly the funniest guy to talk to. he is so innocent and it seems like he is very surprised at a lot of my opinions. which aren't that shocking anyway. i seriously am amused.

in other news, hui really hates someone. you only have to mention his name to get her all red in the face. seriously, i've never seen her get so mad at someone before, especially someone she has yet to meet. then again, she is only angry on my behalf... because i'm too dumb to be capable of holding on to that anger for a long period of time. am i speaking in riddles? whatever.

was under extreme stress just a couple of hours ago. i believe i wasn't even this freaked out during my exams! my cousin is getting married tomorrow (actually, today, seeing it's past midnight) and i have absolutely NOTHING to wear, save for jeans and a couple of clean t-shirts hanging in my wardrobe. so dragged hui out on a drop-everything-this-is-more-important-than-anything-else-in-the-world emergency shopping spree. the two of us were just racing down orchard road, racing against time (why the hell must shops close at ten pm?), trying in desperation to find something nice which would fit. hui has weird taste, she insisted murky green was a nice colour. sigh. but i'm just grateful she was patient enough to put up with me and my rapidly shortening fuse, especially when i KNOW for a fact my extended family is gonna show up dressed to the nines and i have nothing. though out of sheer desperation, i managed to get a pink dress (yes, pink. i know! shut up and go away. desperation knows no boundaries alright?) and i'm hoping that would do the job. sigh. remind me to 1) NOT shop at the last possible minute ever again and 2) to shop in melbourne for my other cousin's wedding at the end of this year. because even if melbourne's shopping wasn't so much better than singapore's, at least it will be way way cooler, even when you're racing down the street, darting from one shop to the next.

tsz shan and gek noi think i have a VERY strong australian accent. -_- i beg to differ. i think people just want to believe what they want to believe, and somehow, between the two of them, they convinced themselves that i would return and speak differently. come on, who are they to judge, when they don't even know how australians speak? i asked pei when i went out with her yesterday. she makes a better judge, seeing she has been to australia umpteen times and she says [the accent] is hardly noticeable so i'm taking her word for it! it isn't that i'm overly concerned as to whether or not i'm speaking with an accent, it's just that it makes me uncomfortable to have people so blatantly accuse me of being someone i'm not. so yeah. does that make sense? if it doesn't, i guess it's because it's getting late and i'm tired.

watched mr and mrs smith yesterday with pei. it was a cool show, had our fill of eye candy (pei was literally hyperventilating when brad pitt did his 100 metres dash to keep up with angelina jolie's car) and there was just enough action to spice things up. but i thought that, after watching countless movies in australia, singapore's theatres pale in comparison. even in LIDO, the seats were uncomfortable (make that VERY uncomfortable), the screen ridiculously high, the cinema tiny....and the price of the ticket is crazy. *shakes head* i simply have to curb my movie craze while i'm back here. but it was nice meeting up with pei and going out, just chilling over chicken rice and catching up on each other's lives. what i love about old friends is that the friendship fits like a glove, you can talk about anything and everything, pick up where you left off, fastforward, backtrack, without fear that what you mean might get misinterpretated for something else. zuhairah was supposed to join us, but curse singapore's schools and their never ending supply of work. mel was busy i suppose and neela uncontactable. weird. isn't she back in singapore already? and my darling adel of cos, is off somewhere in the states.

sigh. i miss adel so much it's crazy. adel! quick! come back! i miss you!!!!

alright, guess it's time i head off to bed. because if i don't, i have a feeling i'll just nod off during the church wedding ceremony tomorrow. and that would be bad. very bad.

ting:

it's been five days since i arrived back in singapore and already, i'm bored out of my mind. been sleeping so much it's insane. and all my friends are busy, either going for holidays (pei and huili) or working (hui and jol). either that or they're busy with their schoolwork (zu). ah well. i can't expect everyone to be on holiday just because i am right?

hui and mei want me to document our stupidity. so here goes. i went out with the both of them on monday night to bugis for chicken rice!! marvellous marvellous chicken rice. hmmm!! i am gonna make it a point to taste the object of my affections at least once a week, so that hopefully, i won't crave for it back in melbourne. anyhow, after dinner, we went to plaza singapura to try do some shopping but because it was rather late, most of the shops were closing. since when do shops in singapore close so early?? jeez! after a lot of aimless wandering, i decided we should watch a movie but the different opening times in singapore and australia meant that shows i have yet to watch, they have watched and vice versa. what a pain. so i decided we should go for ice cream.

at around ten plus, my dad called to offer to pick us up, as he was near the vicinity. i told him to meet us at the car park. so the three of us trooped off to the rear entrance. like most shopping centres in singapore, the doors are automatic, with sensors which spur them into action. and by the side, just in case the sensors break down, there were doors with handles on them, so you could still exit if something happened to the automatic doors. anyhow, the three of us went right up to the automatic doors and waited. and waited somemore. no response, so we figured that the shopping centre was closing and they switched the sensors off. mei started doing this dramatic act, which consist of her slamming herself against the glass doors and saying "let me out!" in chinese.

i told them to use the front doors and led the way. we made this huge detour just so we could go to the carpark. we were back to where we were, just that this time, we were on the other side of the glass doors. we were sniggering, thinking we beat the security system when we realised that one of the side doors was wide open. yep. WIDE OPEN. and we didn't see it. and we thought we were smart, making such a huge detour. *slaps forehead and groans* we were standing there gaping in disbelief when mei and hui thought it would be funny to re-enact the scene. so mei and i went through the door (yeah, the one which was OPENED) and mei redid her act. i was just standing there calmly laughing at her when this guy came up behind us and gave a call to attract our attention. he then pointed to the opened door. i guess he thought we were idiots, not noticing and standing there making a huge din.

embarrassing. and as he walked past us, you could see he was not making any effort to hide his laughter. ugh. hui started wondering if there was any security camera recording our every move. she pointed out this circular object which was mounted on the ceiling and mei had to go stand almost underneath it and wave at it. -_- i was standing there in horror, wondering how those security guards would react if it really was a camera. thankfully, my dad arrived and saved us from further humiliation. *shakes head* the things i get myself into just by being with all these crazy people!

meeting the girls for dinner again tonight. hopefully, we will be a lot smarter! orignally had plans to go for a karaoke session but one of us couldn't make it so it's just dinner. which is a good thing, as my cough is not completely gone and i have a strong suspicion i'd end up sounding like a frog. hmmm.

note to suba and ira: hey guys, due to the flight being full, i'll be leaving singapore on the 23rd and arriving in melbourne on the 24th instead. so i'm NOT meeting you'll at the airport! ok? please don't wait.. otherwise you'll end up waiting one day!! leave a shout in my tagboard so i can be absolutely sure you guys have seen this. otherwise, have a happy holiday!

Hui:

let me die in ncs!

i tot crystal reports has jus started to spare me from its misery a bit, but i was utterly wrong! wad's wrong with e ppl there? if nothing is shown for tt particular row or column, it jus simple means tt there is no data la~ y mus show right.. its common sense! lucky KK. he can get away with me. poor me. i have to edit his report! pls post me to GDC! where there is someone to teach me~ haiz, and now there is no way to solve e problem. e way they wan e report to be. so how? e last report is to hard-code it one by one. i jus did 200+ of hard-coding today. damn tedious can?! and was damn tired, slept at 2am last night. was falling asleep and e same colleague saw me dozing off 3 times! well, twice dozing off and once staring at blank space. i dunno if he;s e team lead for some project groups or not.. if he is, it would be tt he's some impt ppl. shit lar. damn reports.

somemore hard-codings awaits me.

dying soon. i will hire Ah Hock aka YouFu to cook curry chicken. all are invited.

help come to me!

hui:

woo~ went out with ting to shock ppl yesterday. we planned to be late. so that our plan would work. well, it did worked i guess. haha.. i like di's reaction. =P

went to crystal jade, shared a plate of noodles with ting. wtf, it was damn salty!! after crystal jade, went to meet tim and ckc.. they went mac. omg, e guys were walking damn slow lor. all lagging behind. -_- still dare to complain. useless ass. dun look at me, i was not e one who asked them to tag along. di, not scolding u la. wah liao, they are really damn slow lor. dunno wad to do while waiting for jol, and since ting wanna eat ice-cream, i took da ge and mei's idea, to buy a tub of ice-cream, go somewhere else to eat and chat. we did tt, and went to esplanade. jol finally reached and she hit ting on her arm. hahah =P

somehow, thanks to me, di's allergic to e word "thanks". got jol to thank him. and di cant hear wad she was saying!! di had to squat, and still he cant hear. wah liao di, its time to check ur ears! we all watched as jol thanked di. di was shocked. he stunned for a while. and said "orr nothing liao. ok lets go" haha so bias lor!! if its me or mei saying it right, he'll be like "huh wad? who's calling me" haha.. di~~ cannot thank u izzit?! raa~

finally, e guys are gone! so glad. stupid guys. gay asses. everything buay on one.(again, not saying di la~)haha, so ckc, tim, ting, jol mei and me went to marina square for awhile. it was big, a lot of shops. can go shopping there e next time when all e shops are opened. went back to suntec mac for a drink. and then as usual, ckc sent us home.

oh btw~ di gave me a super belated pressie from taiwan. its a white coloured bag. i like it. shall bring it out e next time. should be next week.

supposed to meet ting today but i slept until like 2+ 3pm. dunno y super tired leh. so arrange to meet tml instead. after work. mus spend more time with her b4 she's gone again. haha =P

ting:

back in singapore! well, this may come as a surprise to some, especially seeing i didn't exactly splash the news all over my blog. but it was with good reason. when i made the decision to come back, i realised i would be back in time for mei's birthday and hey, what are birthdays without surprises right? so hui and i decided we wouldn't tell the rest and shock the hell outta them when they see me.

packing to come back was horribly tiring. as you probably know by now, my lease for the apartment back in college square has ended, so i had to pack all my stuff into boxes to put over in suba's place for safekeeping. if i had my way and if i was alone, i would have completed the task in an hour, just dump everything into huge boxes and let that be that. but no, my mum was with me and nooooo she had to be soooo organised. i don't see the point of taking such great pains to organise the way you put things into boxes/bags.. they'll probably shift their position during the journey from my place to suba's place anyway! and it's not like devoting one box to a specific item is gonna guarantee i know where to find my stuff when i go back to melbourne. so? why can't i take the easy way out?

in the end, the whole process took more than 6 hours. backbreaking really. and then came the long and painful journey to suba'a apartment with a trolley which REFUSED to cooperate with me! the stupid thing appeared to have a mind of it's own and i swear college squares have more holes in walls and broken metal bars after that.

anyhow, i flew back on friday. seven over hours on a flight is p.a.i.n.f.u.l. was sitting next to an australian woman who was really friendly, so we were exchanging travel plans and all. she was flying to london, which basically means another 12 hours on the plane after i stagger thankfully out of it. she's heading to london to visit friends and tour a bit throughout europe and under normal circumstances, i would be envious but at that point in time, the thought of another hour of flight would have made me break down and cry so... yeah. i am seriously reconsidering touring the world after all.

went out yesterday, for mei's birthday celebration. i don't know exactly how my friends felt when they saw me, but surprise was certainly one of it. when alex saw me, he went "what the hell are you doing back here???" and mei just stared at me with eyes so large i was convinced they would fall out. jinhong and kelen didn't have much reaction whereas zihao stared at me for a really long while, as though he was trying to convince himself it was me and he was not seeing things. heh. and the welcome from jol? it was a whack on the arm and a screeching "why didn't you tell me you were coming back????????" in my ear. nice friends i have.

so singapore is still pretty much the same, now that i'm back, it felt like i was never away. everything in my room was the way i left it (then again, i don't remember how i left it), the weather is hot and humid (the minute i stepped out of the airport, it felt like my oxygen supply was being cut off) and the food is....... i dunno. have yet to taste my beloved chicken rice. the first two meals in singapore yesterday was a disaster, i had porridge which was really watery and salty and dinner was at crystal jade, which was made up of very salty noodles. ugh. did the price of salt suddenly dip during the four months i was away?

and i'm suffering from jetlag. my body is still in tuned with melbourne time, ie. i wake up at singapore time 10am and can't go back to sleep, because 1) it is sooo hot and 2) it would be 12pm in melbourne already and i would have been up by then. and at singapore time 10pm? i get sleepy. not good. but it's nice seeing the sun set at an earthly hour, and still being able to walk around in brightness at 6pm!

ting:

unlike hui, i have been watching way too many movies in australia. i think i watched more here than my whole life put together! let's see... there was constantine, the amityville horror, kingdom of heaven (which was an utter flop), the upside of anger, the machinist and the latest one... the wedding date. plus taking into account all the movies we rented? whoa!

went out with jennifer (and her friend lauren) for one last dinner last night. the two of them were hilarious together! suba and i were half an hour late though, thanks to a teeny weeny miscalculation on my part. i didn't know the place she wanted to meet us was in town! i thought it was a couple of streets away from the place where i live. so yeah. i suppose we gave lauren a bad first impression and jen a bad last impression! and apparently, our names have really spread throughout america. i have no idea what jennifer told her family but it seems like all her relatives know us really well! and all of them are opening up their houses to us, if we ever go to america! woohoo! so i now know for a fact that if i ever decide to go to either michigan or new york, there will be a local to receive me and show me around. this is so cool! hey mag, suba, erfie, leona.... when are we going!?

jen was really sad last night.. she kept pouting during dinner. i think i was feeling too sick to really feel sad (it's true! i was running a fever), but i don't deny i felt regret, that i had to say goodbye to such a wonderful human being, someone who really broadened my perspection and introduced me to things i never even knew existed! i learnt so much from her and i'm gonna miss that. sigh. then again. parting is inevitable. it's just another path in life all of us have to take, irregardless of whether we like it or not.

anyway, two more days before i move out. whee! i can't wait... this has been long awaited. but downside is, there is a ton of packing to be done and i have not even started! was running around in circles this morning trying to call the bank and mobile company to get my address changed. i say one thing i've learnt ever since i came here...... the level of efficency in australia is bad. really really bad. then again, maybe i'm so used to getting what i want immediately when i want it back in singapore (because as you know, all you have to do is threaten to complain and you'll get the service people eating out of your hand). probably this teaches me to learn how to be more patient when dealing with people. though i'll probably end up with hypertension first before learning patience. sigh. it isn't as though waiting on the line for ten minutes is so bad... but WHY, oh WHY must they play such corny music? gutwrenching really.

i gotta go. more packing awaits.

Hui:

went out with tim's gang on sat to have a belated celebration for ckc's bday. e usual ppl from da ge's bday turned up for e outing, except for mei and beng. mei couldn't make it as she has to celebrate her lunar bday with her family and then go help her dad. beng had to do duty. ckc treated us to that jap restaurant in melienia walk. ckc quite bad, cos they were saying tt beng had to do duty, no good food to eat, onli can eat night snack.. some yucky food. and ckc took a picture of his set meal and sent mms to beng. hahaha.. but beng din reply. chey~ no fun one =P

after dinner, mei still couldn't make it to meet us, so we went ahead with our plans lor. went for midnight movie at jurong point. so long after my last movie. let me recall... i think e last movie i've watched was... was... shit. i cant remember. i gonna find out. really had no idea wad and when was it. but anyway, we watched Mr & Mrs Smith for tt night. e movie's nice. kinda romance action comedy. all in one kind of thing. e storyline's interesting. though its a freaking $9.50 ticket, guess its worthwhile. by e time i reach home its already 3am le!

woke up next day at around noon time to meet up with tim and his cousin at yck mrt. we're companying her to view a condo showroom. think she's getting married in another like 2 yrs' time. she's picking us up at yck and then drove us to somewhere amk/yck road there. to be exact, its along yck road. e orientation of e room sux. and its not very ex (for a condo). 3 bedroom for 647k. for another type, they have a 2-storey one. and one e 2nd level, they have a jaccuzi. guess how much will it cost u? 950+k. work until i vomit also no money to buy man. i support HDB flat! haha.. his cousin and her bf are rich. they're either buying a condo or a 5-room flat. =O

oh. i have a (or rather 2? wahaha. mei!! shh.. ting! will tell u soon, after ur exams. wahaha) new crush. sony ericson K750i!! it was love at first sight for me. e design's not paricularly very attractive but it jus catches my attention when i was walking pass e handphone section in carrefour in suntec. was i saw was e prototype. "played" with it awhile, like pressing e buttons and stuffs like tt and i liked it even more. i din even noe wad are e specs! haha.. but seeing tt e phone is so damn ex, around $890 for no contract, it should be quite good huh. went to its website to show my friend in e office and realised its a 2 mega pixel camera phone with mmc slot. woot. built-in memory 64mb, with fm, bluetooth and IR! not sure if its a 3g phone. hmm.. nvm la, wun have e money to buy it anyway. shall wait. until year end. for e price to drop, or 10months later, my bday next year. haha.. but by tt time i would have liked so many phones! u noe, its technology!

cant believe i'm facing crystal reports everyday. still suck at it, though getting better a tiny wee bit. where's e hospital when i need it? wahaha. toking nonsense liao. shall stop here. see ya!

ting:

just finished downloading AIM. gosh, what a pain. deciding on what screen name to have was a major headache! all for the sake of friends and doing so to keep in contact with jennifer. now i know what mag means when she said it wasn't user friendly. i have absolutely no clue how to navigate around or to add people! ugh.. so mag and erfana, please do me a favour and add me! frozen pen. that's my screen name.

i don't know what i'm feeling. yesterday was sort of our last gathering as a group in melbourne. we did what we always did, went to town, caught a movie, went to crown for dinner, then sat and ate and talked and basically, had a blast. sighhhh. i wish jen didn't have to go. she's such a sweet human being.

mag said she wasn't sad, because she was sure that we would see each other again, if we make the effort. that is true, but the thing which saddens me is this: a couple of months down the road, will we still care enough to make the effort? memories will fade, new friends found to "replace" the old, other things will come up in life which will take first priority. will we then still care about the past?

coming to australia made me realise just how disgusting parting is. which makes me wonder if it's a good thing to not meet in the first place. once you have met, you have to part. so why even meet then? jen summed up how i was feeling inside last night. she said she loves everyone back home in america, but she has also come to love australia and the kind of life she is having here, as well as the friends she've made (ie. us! wahahahah!) and the people she've come to know. i was telling suba that i'm pretty sure once our three years are over, we would feel the exact same way too. it's a pity you can't just tear yourself into a million pieces and be with all those who matter to you, all at one go, without having to leave them.

am acutely aware of the fact that this three years (or should i say, two and the half years, seeing 4 months just flew by like that) would consist of more meetings and partings, more heartache and reluctance to let the person go, more friends made, then lost, and more memories which would fade with time. and that is very sad. because there will come a time you don't care what good times you had in the past, all you're concerned about is what is happening in the present. which is good in a sort of way. instead of looking back and living in the past, why not start living in the present and cherish each and every person you cross paths with?

ok this is turning into a major sob entry. i didn't mean for it to turn out this way. mag is online! shall ask her to give me a lesson on how to use AIM. :) technology. it's both a blessing and a curse.

later....

jen is online! am feeling so bemused.. am never gonna get used to AIM!

ting:

somehow, it doesn't feel like i have another paper to go. as far as i am concerned, the moment the invigilator said "pens down, stop writing", exams had already ended.

don't get me started on how bad accounting was. i am in no position to comment. but if you need to know a teeny weeny bit of details, i couldn't balance the bloody balance sheet. as usual. i can't remember ever being able to balance it during an exam. and i'm positive i didn't make any mistakes. how could i? i spent an hour checking and rechecking and rechecking it! mr nandwani (my jc econs lecturer) once said accountants are happier people as compared to economists, because they don't take stuff like opportunity costs and all into account. my foot. how happy can you be if you're trying oh so desperately to balance something which, irregardless of what you do, simply WON'T balance?? sigh.

went for a movie tonight. and am going for another one tomorrow. can someone please slap me and wake me up to the fact my exams are NOT over?? and that i still have another paper to go?

sigh. i'm sorry i was so useless tonight. the worst thing in life is to want to comfort someone, but not knowing how you should go about doing it. words aren't all that important, it's true. but it sucks when you wish you could say something to make the situation brighter, to find the silver lining to the dark cloud. it sucks even more when you can't find anything to say.

but like you said. God is certain to have His reasons for letting things happen. fear not, things will take a turn for the better. it have to.

take care alright? and don't think about it anymore. or at least, try not to.

ting:

i know it is the exam period and i'm supposed to be mugging like hell instead of blogging but i am so so bored! accounting is on friday. two down, two more to go!

had the worst case of insommia these couple of nights... not too sure if i was stressed out because i didn't feel stressed but i just plain could not sleep. lay in bed, dozing off, waking, then trying to doze off again, then waking again... really annoying. and really bad when you have a bloody paper to take in the afternoon.

part of me wishes that all my exams were crammed together, so i can get this over and done with. and another part is thanking God for the breaks inbetween because i think i will just die of exhaustion if it wasn't the case. 8 more days to go!

management on monday was ok. it wasn't particularly difficult but i don't know if i made any sense. it's been ages since i last wrote an essay under exam conditions (the last time being during a-levels) and on monday, i had to write FOUR essays! within 2 hours! needless to say, i couldn't finish. but i'm pretty sure i'll pass, because my final exam is worth 50% of my total grade and i already have 31 marks safely in my pocket. but whether i can meet my own expectations and get a high distinction for it remains to be seen.

QM was yesterday and OH.MY.GOSH. what was the professor thinking?????????? 15 minutes of reading time and my heart stopped the minute i flipped the paper open. see, QM was supposed to be our easiest subject! the one i'm pretty sure EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US were banking on for our high distinction. i can safely kiss that dream goodbye. his lecture notes were easy and understandable. tutorial questions were a breeze. assignments were chicken feet. even the sample exam questions were so simple i finished everything within half an hour! and yesterday...... UGHHHHHHHH. nice of him eh? made us complacent. then dealt us such a strong blow. i could live with it IF he gave us a damn difficult sample exam paper to shock us all into mugging but...! BUT! what the hell. i am so doomed. there were two sections, A and B. i am so prepared to lose every single mark for section A. it was mcq. easy? think again. i had no idea what the questions were asking for! i was literally guessing for every single answer and trying to comfort myself that there is a one in four chance i'd get it right. sigh. and section B was disgusting as well. not as bad as section A but still.

was freaking out majorly during the paper because it seemed to me i was the only one who found it damn difficult. the people around me seemed cool and calm. it was only after the paper, when i met up with the rest outside the examination hall that i realised i was not alone. vin li had the same moans and groans, ira was so shocked she stood there like a statue, suba was freaking out, jo ann was so traumatised by it she couldn't talk about it, angela was.....i dunno. but all of us are prepared to have to retake it again next sem. what the hell man....! and it is worth a bloody 70%! sigh. wonderful.

and i should have learnt my lesson and start studying day and night for my remaining two papers. but i am not. i am sick and tired of studying and i wanna watch a movie. in fact, i have every intention to, come saturday. mag... you can't stop me!!! wahahahha!

sigh. all right. to try and prevent myself from regretting my laziness on friday during the exam, i shall go sit myself in front of my accounting notes, blast the radio and try to focus.

FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS. think accounting. think tarrant woods. dream debit and credit. eat operating, investing and financing activities. sleep cash flow statements. breathe general ledgers. CONCENTRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hui:

OMG!! someone save me man, i desperately nee to master Crystal Reports and to understand how that darn network infrastructure management work process flows. i dun wan to be e lousiest being in NCS. am worse than IA student. i'm a frog in NCS well. an imaginary NCS well. Raa~ (an extremely tame dino perhaps)

croaked. =(

ting:

to all my wonderful friends in melbourne, GOOD LUCK AND ALL THE BEST FOR EXAMS!!!

i'm scared. shit shit shit... can't believe i have been wasting so much time these days instead of studying.

ughhhhh. damn management.

freaked out.

to those who've emailed me, sorry i can't reply anytime soon. i promise i'll do so the minute i end my exams alright? :D

12 more days to end of exams.

14 more days to chicken rice. :D:D:D

ok, back to management. shit.

ting:

forget the last blog entry. and screw good karma. i am so pissed i need to get it outta my system, or i'll just burst. was glaring at my textbook and fuming inwardly. which is not good, seeing i don't want to get mad at management, especially when it is my first paper and three days away.

all of you should know who i am incredibly pissed at now. no prizes for guessing who the witch is. my mum told me that disgusting thing accused us of switching on the heater/radiator because our electricity bill was so high as compared to that of other people.

firstly. it is WINTER and the temperature is plunging to below 5 degrees at times. college square provided three radiators in each apartment for A REASON. when it is cold, you naturally want to switch it on. that is its purpose, that is what it is for!

secondly, i don't care how those people went about ensuring such a low electricity bill. they may be living in darkness and freezing their asses off but it's their lives and i am not gonna interfere. as for me, it is my own bloody life and i am gonna live it the way i want to. so screw you! you have no authority here to give orders and expect us to obey you. if i want to switch the fucking radiator on, i am gonna switch it on. what are you gonna do? complain to college square i am wasting money? let's see who they will side with. i have a fucking strong case against you.

i don't get it. if you are so overly concerned about money, then why even bother coming? take your bloody money and go back to singapore and put it in the bank to rot for all i care. i don't give a shit. if you wanted to save money so desperately, then you shouldn't have suggested sending your darling daughter over here.

and assuming i obeyed you and decide to freeze my ass off in return for saving that extra hundred. what if i fall sick and can't study and fail all my exams and get kicked out of melbourne uni? who is gonna be held accountable for that? who is gonna compensate me for all the trauma i went through? you? if you are not then shut the fuck up and stop ordering us around. you can throw your weight all you want in your own bloody house but we are not your family here. so don't just assume you have the right, because no one has dared stand up to you. i hope you meet your match one day. and i'm sure you will, because i am a strong believer in retribution.

and now, after getting this off my chest, i am going back to my room and i am going to switch the radiator on and i am gonna leave it running the whole night. stop me if you fucking dare to.

ting:

i originally came here with the purpose of bitching, because my mum told me something which made me so incredibly pissed that i wanted to hit the roof. then remembered what huili warned me last night, that exams are coming, i ought to accumulate good karma and reduce the amount of bitching. so am trying very very hard to restrain myself.

just a note though. i am warning you. for the final time. DON'T make me so mad i explode right in your faces. because if i do, it's gonna be three plus months worth of pent up stress and frustrations topped off with exams stress. i have never snapped at people before (or at least, i try not to) so don't make me break my own record. because if you do, i promise you will be scarred for life.

16 more days to the end of our "relationship", or whatever you call it. can barely wait for this nightmare to be over.

sigh. damn exams. i am so not motivated. all i am interested in is watching vcds (since i don't have a damn tv) and when i watch, i feel guilty so i try applying my management concepts to the show. which kind of ruins it for me. bleh. hate this. can't wait for exams to be over and done with. i hope one entire question on motivation comes out, because that is the only topic i can see the whole connection and how one links to the other. please please please! ironic isn't it? motivation is my best chapter and yet, i can't motivate myself. oh whatever.

hey ira. sorry for giving you the impression i would be in uni today. well, i had the intention to go but it was too cold and i was lazy. heh. sorry! if you want me there next time, call me or something. i'll go down then, i promise. and nice blog skin! i like it! and hey, i didn't expect rove to be so cute. i was thinking along the lines of an elderly man with greying hair and a pot belly. hehe! pity his name doesn't suit his face... suba, are you sure he is silly? he looks too cute to be silly. heh...

ok. back to motivation. ugh! i hate studying. i really really do.