ting:

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST CAN'T FREAKING BELIEVE YOU!!!!!! HOW IN THE SHIT CAN YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT!!! ARE YOU INSANE???????? I THINK I CAN HEREBY CONCLUDE YOU ARE FUCKING OUT OF YOUR MIND. LIKE WHAT THE SHIT!!! URRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. YOU CANNOT HELP ME AND I DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING FROM YOU. BUT DON'T BLOODY MAKE IT WORSE!!!

i am really going crazy. i am losing my mind. i have been swearing too much. ever since nus, i have been pissed and permanently depressed 99% of the time. do you think it is depression?? gosh. i need herbal tea or something. something to stop me from feeling SO FUCKING MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ting:

i love this song. to everyone who needs it...this is for you.

The Prayer

I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go.
And help us to be wise in times when we don't know
Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way
Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe

La luce che tu hai
I pray we'll find your light
nel cuore restera
and hold it in our hearts.
a ricordarci che
When stars go out each night,
eterna stella sei

The light you have I pray we'll find your light will be in the heart and hold it in our hearts.
to remember us that
When stars go out each night, you are eternal star
Nella mia preghiera
Let this be our prayer
quanta fede c'e
when shadows fill our day

How much faith there's
Let this be our prayer
in my prayer
when shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe

Sognamo un mondo senza piu violenza
un mondo di giustizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino
Simbolo di pace, di fraternita

We dream a world without violence
a world of justice and faith.
Everyone gives the hand to his neighbours
Symbol of peace, of fraternity
La forza che ci da
We ask that life be kind
e il desiderio che
and watch us from above
ognuno trovi amor
We hope each soul will find
intorno e dentro se
another soul to love

The force his gives us
We ask that life be kind
is wish that
and watch us from above
everyone finds love
We hope each soul will find
around and inside
another soul to love
Let this be our prayer
Let this be our prayer, just like every child

Need to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe
Need to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe

E la fede che
hai acceso in noi,
sento che ci salvera
It's the faith you light in us
I feel it will save us

ting:

sigh. what the fuck. i can't believe what a screwed up life i'm leading now. one sentence to sum up the whole day's events...my laptop crashed. which means everything is gone. project work. assignments. all my notes for this sem. msn. internet. everything. there is nothing left. i don't even know if crashed is the right word to use. i have absolutely no idea what the fuck happened to it. all i know is when i switch it on, there is nothing. no buttons. no icons. nothing. so great. i got to do everything again. just when i more or less finished what i had to do for this week. i think i'm jinxed. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. i'm sorry. i can't swear enough. there is no other word more appropriate than fuck.

i feel sick and feverish. feel as though i'm gonna fall apart very soon. i don't think anyone will be able to comprehend the agony i'm going through now. it's not as though my laptop is that important to me. but it's just the feeling that i have to pick up the pieces, go through all the crap of installing everything back, lugging the fucking screwed up thing to the computer centre, redo my assignments, piece my project together again...it makes me feel very tired. i just want to go to bed and sleep and never wake up again. gosh. i can't wait for this sem to be over. but when it's over...there will be no more cute guy. :( eh huili?? let's approach him together one day. maybe we'll have more guts when we have company!!! or let's ask him to study mno with us. :) lucky idiots who got him in their group. sigh.

i'm in pain.

less than 3 weeks to exams. a whole lot more work to do now my laptop fucked up. i can't remember anything. i can't understand accounting. i can't master programming. god. i hate my life so freaking much. i know God allows things to happen for a reason. but i'm too tired to fight. i give up. do you see the white flag i'm waving?? just shoot me down and let the end come. i seriously don't have the strength to carry on. please. i need Your grace.

another paragraph and i'll break down. my eyes hurt from all the crying i did earlier. plus i don't particularly want to go for my legal meeting tomorrow with red swollen eyes. so yeah. appreciate the life you are living now because no matter how fucked up it seems, remember. mine will be a hundred times worse.

hui:
raa~~ i jus came back from lunch, and my heart came crashing down. hmm.. ok, i'm exaggerating. let me tell u a secret. Mei and Ting noes it, but Mei kinda noes e details of how i feel. cos she feels the same as me! muahahaha! we both have a crush on e same person... hahahha...

ever since e 1st week of my project, i had a little crush on one of e lecturers. he's shuai and gentleman-looking. hmm... he wears long sleeve shirt (mostly white or blue, my fav colours!!), no spects, floppy hair, aaaa.... dunno la. jus the kind of guy i would like (from appearence). i see him almost everyday in my lab. the orientation of my seat is such that i'm facing the lab beside mine. and week 1 he was teaching the SingTel ppl who were on couse in NYP. he wore a tie!! woot! hahaha... so shuai.. and e way he smile.. LOL.. okok, i think i'm getting very disgusting here. i dun even describe Tim this way! haha..

he's one of my lab friend's project supvervisor, but my friend is in e other room. the room is jus accros e corridor. so i still see him! haha.. and sometimes he would come to my lab to tok to other lecturers. at first i tot he's those type of quiet ppl. but no! he's quite chatty and funny. there was once we had visitors from dunno what company came to visit us and they may be coming in to our lab. if they do, he has to give a short presentation on how e routers and prgram in our lab works. but he's unprepared. so he's like in a panic. my lab lecturer teased him and asked him to give a "demo" and he did. all the "er"s and "eh" came out. in e end, he gave up. he said "aiya! i cannot make it! i hope they dun come in!" hahaha.. so cute. and then he continued chatting and crapping with my lab lecturer. an hour later, the visitors came.. he tot they were coming in and he said "die ah! they're coming in" but it turned out that there were jus passing by. haha.. so my lab lecturer and him went "phew" and said "ok guys! we're safe. get back to work" haha..

actually he taught me one lesson b4. in year 1, when one of my networking lecturer din come. when i saw him, i quite liked him (appearance onli) but dunno y, i remember i hated him. yeah.. btw, am writing this post with fear. cos i'm sitting near e door and ppl keep walking in and out. scared they might see what i'm writing! haha.. cannot let others noe i "like" him sia! (actually more of admire la.. u noe... "sight-seeing" onli that kind.. muahahaha!) okok anyway, went lunch with Zhi jus now and we were toking abt who my lecturers will be next semester. cos there's this lecturer (Mr Loo) very good in teaching but i may not get him cos he onli teaches year 1 and 2. then she said it i might get someone who's tall, skinny and with spects. i was like "huh? who?" she continued "he look young but actually no. Mr Loo said he's older than him(Mr Loo) ." i told her got one lecturer very shuai, i like. and i descirbed him as "skinny, tall, dark and no spects" and she was like "huh? who?" raa... and then we were like "k, nvm~ forget it."

then on our way to e shopping arcade, we saw him!!! with another lecturer with spects. then Zhi was nudging me "there! that one!" i looked at said "ooo... the one with spects izzit.. nv see b4.." and she said "no!! the other one. the one who is more shuai, wearing blue shirt" then i hit her "wah kao! he where got wear spects?! he's e one i was talking abt!!" hahaha.. and then she was like "hahaha.. paiseh.. i tot he had spects all along" -_- after that.. this is e conversation Zhi and i had:

Hui: he shuai right?!
Zhi: haha ya
Hui: haha.. i zhu yi him ever since week 1!
Zhi: oic.. yeah, he's not bad. guess how old is he?
Hui: ehh.. he looks younger than 30.
Zhi: haha... i told u le.. he's older than Mr Loo. u guess how old is Mr Loo?
Hui: 33 34?
Zhi: yeah.. so he is slightly older than that lor
Hui: huh?! serious?? but he really look younger than 30!
Zhi: yah!!
Hui: but he doesnt wear any ring on his finger. muahahaha!
Zhi: haha!! he's married my dear!
Hui: ooo.. tt's too bad. haha
Zhi: and with 2 kids
Hui: OMFG. hahaha lucky wife!

haha.. quite funny. Mei!!! are u feeling e same as me?? haha :P u should feel more sad! cos u cannot go after him laio. LOL!! so ladies, it's very very true that all nice men are married!! (the one in PowerGas also) haha.. nvm~ i have my Mr Ong.. the others are jus for sight-seeing! i'm still faithful... muahaha.. dun laff la. really. :p

hui:

suggestions on how Ting should react when she bumps into a super cute hunk

- point to the sky and shout "wah! UFO!". he WILL turn and look. though it's not possible to see an UFO up in e sky, ppl will still turn. ok, after he turn and look and see no UFO, u can start a conversation liao. (nvm abt him thinking u mus be mad. hahaha)

- keep staring at him until he says hi to u

- take initiative to tok to ugly guys. then u will appreciate how impt it is to tok to cute guys when u see one.

- if u're jus too shy to approach, think of them being gays. u wouldn't wan to have a cursh on gays right?! :p

- breakdown and cry infront of him. he'll comfort u. if he doesn't, kick his ass and ask him go to hell

- do something to trip him. when he falls, help him up and ask him if he's feeling alright

- call me and say "hey jiehui!! where have u put my wig? i cant find it! i have been wearing e same one since sept!" i think he'll most prob laugh and think u're crazy. but again, dun mind him thinking u're mad.

- say "hi, how are u? i haven seen u for quite a while"

- ask him "hi! are u from africa?"

- finally!! the last point!! do all the above and the whole NUS will noe u in no time! then u'll have no prob making conversations with everyone in sch!

dun ask me to go die!! i'm jus toooooooo bored in sch. finished everything already. rotting. bah.

ting:

oh gosh. i am a pathetic, useless wuss. if you are wondering why...read on. at the end of this entry, you would probably agree with me. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! i am shivering and sniffing now. probably because my air con is at 25degrees. and my noodles seem extra spicy today. but ohhhhh!!!!!!!!! cute guy!!!!!!!!!! urrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok i'll cut to the chase. for those who don't know...i...erm...well...have this really soft spot for guys with blond hair and blue eyes. *grins* get it? of cos, green or brown eyes work fine as well but i still prefer blue eyes above the rest. so yeah. huili and i spotted this guy in our management lecture and both of us think he is really cute. (please forgive me if my english goes haywire. i am still incapable of processing coherent thoughts.) well, i don't know if it's the same guy. it sure looks like, but i'm bad at faces. anyway, if it was him, then all i gotta say is he is ten times cuter up close!! *shivers at the memory*

so yeah, after getting dinner, i was waiting at the lift lobby and he came to stand beside me. the division is such that guys usually stay on either the first, the fourth or the seventh floor. i think. so anyway, when the lift arrived, i half expected him to wait for the next one to go down to the first floor. but no. he followed me in. like i said, i am pathetic and so long as a cute guy is within a one mile radius, i turn to mush. my brain stops working. with experience, i keep my mouth shut. and a wise move too. ok...i'm getting off track here. after pressing the button for the fifth floor, i stood back to let him press his floor. but he didn't. and i was like...huh? gave him a questioning look, then turned to stare at the floor. (i know i know!! stop ragging on me!! i'm chicken, all right??) that ride up was probably one of the longest i have ever experienced. and i was slowly turning to jelly the whole way. (stop laughing!) think there would be nothing left of me except a puddle if the lift stalled. on second thoughts...why didn't the damn thing stall!!??

got out at the fifth floor and he followed me. opened the cluster gate and he was still following me. though i knew he probably was there to look for his friend (lucky ass. if it's the girlfriend i'll...never mind.), i was happily entertaining thoughts of "what if...". but oh well. no such luck. he started knocking on the door of the person staying next to me. geez! i didn't even know someone was staying next to me!!

and there you go. fantasy disappeared, started being disappointed in myself for not having the guts to start a conversation...blah blah blah. but i just can't help it! i'm totally perfectly ok with normal guys. it's just that with...well, you know!...my mind turns blank. like totally completely blank. i forget all my grammar, i even forget God gave me a mouth so i could put it to good use during such incidents. urrgghhh!! yes. now you can agree with me. i am a useless, gutless piece of chicken!! yes??

then again, he is probably on exchange. which means he probably won't be here next semester. sighs...

maybe we should start a 'discussion forum' in the tagboard. topic would be "how to help ting turn from a gutless shivering idiot into a confident and chatty girl when she bumps into a super cute hunk". this would be to prepare for future encounters.

and i thought mustering up the courage to talk to the hot australian pilot was a world record. guess i gotta wait another 18 years to have such courage again! urgh!

hui:

woohoo...~ today's monday, the first day of week 11 of my Final Year Project! and i've finished my project already!! wootz! actually finished last thursday. my sup said she will "try" to visit me again on friday to see my last flash animation, but i din go to sch on friday. hahaha... dun think she came bah.. hmm.. shall ask my friend later.

by e way i reached sch at 10am. heh.. less than an hour ago. had been reading blogs. hmm... i asked my sup what to write in e report. cos i find that there's nothing to write. all my other friends will be writing abt research on routers and some wireless stuffs they have done... the problems they encountered and e solutions to them.. the process.. but me?! i'm jus doing some flash animation! i did not do any reseach, i din encounter any problems (not that i'm hao lian la.. but its becos the flash is really damn easy. trust me. really.) and guess what my sup told me? she said "hmm.. what to write ah.. hmm... actually i'm not interested in ur report. i'm onli interested in ur flash. u do not have to show them (the manager from communication network group i'm presenting to and some other lecturers) the report. so i think u jus include a screenshot of every flash u have done and tell me what u've incoperated in e flash." woohoo!!! i love her!!! she's jus soooooooooo nice!!!

there's one kinda "bad" news.. but i dun really care la. she asked me what did i say and how was my presentation back on week 6. the interim finaly year project presentation. i told her there was simply nothing to tok abt at all. and then she said "hmm.. i got ur marks for e last presentation and u got okay onli" hmm.. haha.. at first i was a bit worried.. but seconds later, i was like thinking to myself "wtf?! there's really nothing to tok abt wad. the best way of presenting a project on animation is to show them. but the damn comp dun have shockwave. nv install. lousy" so i told her (of cos i din say "wtf?!" la.) and she agreed with me that there was nothing to tok abt.. i mean nothing much to tok abt. so she suggested that i present e same thing as what i would be writing in my report. i confirmed with her, asking her if she'll be giving 80% of e marks. she said yeah and asked me not to worry. muahahaha!! i hope i can get a good grade for this. hopefull an A? hehe... but i kinda confident that i can get an least a B. woo~ i really hope. cos i think i would get an A for my attachment. hmm.. i love this semester!! i foresee that next semester would be hell for me. a person cant always be this lucky right? hai... projects, reports, common tests, exams, routers, access points, telephony, comm skills presentations, fake interviews, resumes & reports.. ----> all these stuffs... i dun think i can survive! haha... i hope i really can understand... if not... i dunno how to ask for help me. maybe kelen? hehe.. dun think i'm going to ask that Alien. -.- *bleah*

the new Nokia phone 6260 is out!! ehh.. i think i sounded too excited but i'm not at all. haha.. jus kinda.... uh... *dunno how to describe e feeling*. hahaha! i was browsing the nokia website many months back and saw this model with another upcoming model Nokia6170 that i liked. and now i see it in e market. heh.. i wonder when will the model that i like would up in e market. for that Nokia6260, it says that it would be out in the 3rd quarter of year 2004 and its onli out now. so i think the other one would be out onli next year? cos it says 4th quarter of 2004 mah. hmm.. dunno if i'll have e money to change phone or not. though re-contract with starhub i can get it at a new-line price. see e phone here!!

yay....! ting's birthday is coming! muahaha.. in 2 weeks' time!! i noe what to get for u already. hope u'll like it! haha dun tell u what is it. :p gotta go for early lunch now!! buaiz!

ting:

the current workload i am having right now is this.

1 feedback analysis report to write, due monday.
1 analysis of some stupid letter to do, due sunday, 5pm (reason being so my other group members can take over)
5 management and organisation webcasts to watch. and the stupid thing keeps screwing up on me!!
9 chapters of mno readings.
5 chapters of financial accounting to master.
2 accounting tutorials to do.
1 whole sem of programming to catch up on.
1 programming assignment, due next friday.
1 language and the workplace project to complete, due 1st nov.
1 accounting project to do, due 1st nov.
1 mini-trial for business law to prepare for on 2nd nov. and guess who we are up against?? some stupid and incredibly competitive media corp guy. crap.
final exams...which are 26 days away.

life is great isn't it?? the things it decides to spring up on us! wonderful!!! (if you don't sense the sarcasm here...then i don't know what you are thinking.)

hui:

oie!! i cant see anything on e blog. i mean the recent posts. raa...!

i'm so bored.. sitting in e lab again, waiting for my supervisor to come.. when will she ever come?! she came last monday.. gave me some work.. and she nv apppeared again. haha.. i waited for her for e whole of last week. last tues and wed.. i was so guai.. waiting for her to come. but she nv!! and when i decided not to go sch on last thurs, she came. -_- i came on last friday, this week's monday, tuesday and today.. she haven come. hai... always like tt.. "cheat" my patience and feelings. =P

had mac for lunch again today. saw ng zihao in e mac canteen. actually i din see him.. until i joined e Q and he was beside me. he kinda say hi, i think. cos he was like "aye?" but my natural reaction was to ignore. haha.. so after buying e meals at e counter i said bye to him lor. mus act da fang. damn it. he's going USA for overseas attachment. raa!!

hey ting.. when are u free to go out? have been waiting for u to be free... then ask me out... ok?

it's e 10th week now. it's less than 2 weeks to week 12 and i gonna have my holidays on e 5th of nov!! yay!! i wonder will there be any job lobang for me. will start searching next week.

i wan to take pictures!! with all my friends!! and ting... we haven got a chance to take pics right? ever since e "Hougang Street 91" pictures. haha..

ting:

sigh. one word just says it all huh? you want to know what sucks? disappointment, that's what. i'm bloody bloody bloody disappointed with myself.

goodbye exchange program. goodbye honours in melbourne uni. goodbye to high positions and good pay in the future. goodbye life.

life sucks.

just want to thank all those who gave me encouragement. i appreciate it a lot. thank you thank you thank you. more specifically, thanks pei. thanks huili. thanks denise. thanks yiqin. =)

and to someone who called me to cheer me up last night...thank you too. i take back what i said about you. you're not a jackass. you're just...well...someone who can be very nice at times and irritate the shit out of me at other times. heh...

hui:

hi.. it's me... again...

i finally realised one thing.

i'm not independant.... at all.

heh..

=)

hui:

okok.. the "guys" here are refering to bfs. and the "u" are refering to gfs. muahhaha! :P

• guys think that what his friends do are correct. in almost all cases, u are jus "wrong" or "not so correct"
• they will nv think of what u feel until they ask u or u tell them
• guys *NEVER* put themseleves in ur shoes unless they have gone thru e same thing.
• it's ALWAYS much more easier for guys to tell u what ur mistakes are than them to tell his friends what their mistakes are.
• friends' suggestion = good. ur suggestions = i'll-think-it-over-1st
• friends = lots of topics to tok to. u = limited topic
• u pull long face = y u make urself so bored? friends show face = y u make them so bored/unhappy?
• friends = lots of topics to tok to. u = limited topic
• going out with friends = fun going out with u = where to go?
• the above are true!! :p i dun care. this is considered one point. :p

haha.... although i agree with one of e points.. "going out with friends = fun". muahaha! but still, i dun care. still wan to pinpoint that on guys. ting!!! where's ur 10 points? i forgot wad topic it's on.. but.. hope u find e other 5 points soon!

ting:

this week has not even started and i'm wishing it was over. have a feeling it is gonna be a very bad week. a very bad one. sigh. don't ask me how i know. i just know it!

for one, i have my mno video presentation first thing in the morning. though there's nothing scary about it, i'm hoping the audience's reaction would be what i want. and i'm hoping my group will get a very good grade for it. cos we really worked very very hard. right huili?? =) so yeah, am hoping my tutor will see it from our perspective and give us the grades we deserve. *cross fingers*

have this feeling i'll get back my programming test grade tomorrow. shit shit shit. i am gonna fail. i know i am. but i want to delude myself for a little while more. i don't want to face reality so soon. sigh...ok, i don't know for a fact i will get it back tomorrow. i just have this feeling. and it isn't good. oh shit. and guess what?? there's another programming assignment for us! isn't life great??

getting back accounting test grade on tuesday. shoot. wish me luck. i really need it.

have a feeling i'll get my language and the workplace test back on wednesday too. it has been long enough, he should have been done marking it. urgh! life sucks.

so yeah. it'll be chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the rest of this week. oh gosh. i really hope i survive this.

ting:

to neela: hey girl! many many thanks for the ginger jam! my parents love it (despite the fact that it's imported from england! *grins*)! they're finding all sorts of excuses to eat bread for breakfast, lunch and dinner now. hope your flight last night was bearable... and good luck with your hot guy! so what if he has a girlfriend? monkey had a girlfriend too and it didn't stop us from ogling did it?? hahahaha...alright...have fun! we'll go to australia at the end of this year if we can afford it!

ting:

to neela: hey girl! many many thanks for the ginger jam! my parent love it (despite the fact that it's imported from england! *grins*)! they're finding all sorts of excuses to eat bread for breakfast, lunch and dinner now. hope your flight last night was bearable... and good luck with your hot guy! so what if he has a girlfriend? monkey had a girlfriend too and it didn't stop us from ogling did it?? hahahaha...alright...have fun! we'll go to australia at the end of this year if we can afford it!

hui:

wow, there was a really long entry from ting. and i MUS agree. guys are insensitive creatures! raa~~ they are lousy in expressing themselevs, not good at taking hints, have absoulutely NO idea what u want, and they DUN open their mouth to ask. -.- -.- -.- -.- -.- "Men are NOT pigs. Pigs are sensitive and intelligent creatures." muahahaha...! :P oh anyway, a point to note - whenever u see me post an entry in sch it means that i'm bored. i'm getting sick of Maroon 5's She Will Be Loved. very sick of it. i listen to it EVERYDAY more than once. my lab friend plays it everyday!! sheesh. another song i hate is Hoobastank - The Reason. it sux!! they're playing it much more times and louder than that Maroon 5 song. -.-

boo.. complained to jana abt this coming sunday thingie. for those who noe who is Lijun (ting i've mentioned to u b4.. hehe) she's treating tim they all... (his group of friends) for dinner this suday. her birthday lor. i dun think i'm invited. cos i think she dun like me. that's not e thing i wanna complain abt. she broke up with her bf (who has been together for abt 2yrs?) a few weeks ago. so now she's free to go out with anyone now.. and free to go out with this group of guys. cos in e past she wasn't allowed to.. her bf would be unhappy. and ya noe.... last time tim liked her... she liked him too, it's jus that when tim confessed to her she was already with that guy at that point of tim. so i'm afraid that now she wants to attract his attention? hai... it's not tt i dun trust tim.. (or maybe i dun trust him that much) i'm jus worried. that gal created lots of commotion on da ge's birthday which was in mid may. both she and me are da ge's xiaomei.. but that day da ge seem to put more attention on me.. and toked to me more. then when we were sitting in Mac she jus went off. then she called da ge to ask him if he received her sms. -.- then later on she called ckc to ask for da ge. wad e hell.. y so weird? cant she jus call da ge's hp?! raa... after da ge toked to her on ckc's phone, it's a very natural reaction of those who were there to ask what happened. and da ge said she asked him what time would he be home cos she wanted him to call her as she has something to complain to him. -.- so everyone tot she wanna complain abt her bf. i then got to noe from da ge that she's jealous.. y almost everyone seem to dote on me more than her. hmm.. so.... okok i noe i'm getting very long-winded. yeah. so wad i'm afraid that she will do something like this again!!! attract attention when i'm not around!! raa!! she can go ahead and attract other ppl's attention for all i care. but not tim's!! raaa!! hahahaha i'm mad. :p i bet i'm not invited (not cos i wan free dinner k... who cares abt free dinner from her. raaa!!) cos she wun wan to ask someone whom she dun like to go out on her bdae right... duh.. i wanna to there be e barrier!! i wan to be e sound proof wall! hahaha.. ok la.. what's urs will be urs. (although i believe that even though what's urs will urs, u still haveto put in effort to go for it) when there's a chance, there's a choice! hmm.. i'm contradicting myself. nvm~~ there's nothing i can do abt it if they were to end up together. think tim wun be so dumb bah. opps! hahah.. i'm lame~~~~ dun mind me!!!

changed my hair parting.. from left to right (or rather right to left. whichever way la.) it looks....... weird? i think. and it's not straight. i hate my hair! very rebelious. very. the ends are like "qiao" until like nobody's business. i wan to rebond!! hmm, wait until i finish my big big bottle of pantene shampoo. still a long way to go. there's still like 3/4 left? at most 2/3 left. i also wan a pair of new spects. ok la.. maybe not new. jus gotta change e lens. (but then again mine's frameless.. so change e lens kinda = change e whole thing? haha) the lens degree not e same liao. this pair of spects was made when i was in sec 4. degree was 150. now my contact lens degree is 200. hai..... poor eyesight...... if i rebond, i would have no money to change glasses. if change glasses no money to rebond liao. hmm, glasses more impt. and cheaper also... anyway dun intend to rebond so soon also. waiting for my hair to grow longer!! :D

i'm now chatting with Leon onli. raa.. so bored!!! i din go sch yesterday. heard from my friend that my sup came. hmm.. i din see any note for me inside my folder. i hope she comes today!! it's onli 2.30 now and it's still far from e time she usually come (that's if she comes..) she always comes at around 3+ or 4+pm. it's a long long wait. i'm bored.... i'm sleepy... boo...............

ting:

hmmm...have not been posting for quite a while. this week has been pretty uneventful. all the mid-term tests are over, thank God! didn't expect to actually manage to survive the five nightmarish days. eek! don't want to think about it again. but a point to note... there is no doubt about it...i'm gonna fail programming. period.

ok, it is at this point in time that all guys reading this should just shut their eyes and scroll down to the end of the page. because i am gonna start a major bitching session about the male species from mars. (just a note, we are NOT from mars! hui mistyped...we are from VENUS! i refuse to admit coming from the same planet as the species from mars..) guys are...well...for lack of a better term...egoistic insensitive jerks. actually, no. they are sensitive at times (take someone for instance. *roll eyes and curse*). they are sooooooo sensitive that they read way too much into every single thing you say/do. please. just because i happen to make eye contact with you does not mean i like you!! geez!! and just because i talk to you doesn't mean i want to be your girlfriend. haven't you heard of trying to make conversation?? grrr...asshole.

let's move on to another person, whom i also happen to be incredibly pissed at. what the fuck?? arruuuggghhhhhhh!!! i just don't believe what the shit has gotten into you!! and i can't believe i'm actually this mad at you and am starting to harbour this huge burning disdain for you. but then again, you only have yourself to blame. it's like...COME ON!! GET A FREAKING GRIP!! if you already made up your mind to have the freaking chalet on that weekend, then HAVE IT THEN! and why even bother persuading me when you know IT IS MY EXAM WEEK AND CHANCES OF ME TURNING UP PRACTICALLY EQUALS NIL??? *screams* *blood starting to boil again* and when i tried getting you to change the date, you get mad. and you want me to be there. but you don't want to change the date. so what do you bloody want me to do? do you seriously think i would enjoy studying more than going for a chalet (not because of your freaking presence, mind you. in fact, drowning you would be a much pleasurable event then either!)?? urgh!

and exactly one week later, when you contact me again, you said you have already book the chalet on that day. see? if nothing can change your mind about the date, then why kick such a big fuss over it? it's not like i'm the star and if i don't go, no one will turn up. stop trying to be so freaking difficult. and when you manage to convince me that you are no longer mad at me, you get mad at me again half an hour later when i asked to see your "girlfriend's" photo. if that "girlfriend" even exists, that is. like...what the hell??? what the shit did i do? if you are trying to kill yourself by getting high blood pressure or a stroke, leave me out of it damnit! my dreams have not been fulfilled. i don't want to die now, especially over you. so just two words of advice...if the ultimate purpose in contacting me is to get mad at me (and hence making me mad in the process), then i suggest you fuck off. like seriously. i see our friendship swirling down the drain with grim finality. what happened to the past you? it feels like aliens have inhabited your body and taken control of your mind. either that or someone blew out your brains in NS with a gun so you are totally incapable of thinking now. sheez.

so that is the sensitive part. as for the insensitive part...why are guys so freaking insensitive when something is so darn obvious and they still can't see it???? makes me doubt their vision. but then, this is not my story. it is adel's. just using some points to reinforce the fact that guys are basically difficult creatures and irritating idiots whose presence should be seriously ignored. except the nice ones of course. but i don't think i know any nice guy. hmmm...

just an extract from my organisational behaviour text to wrap things up: men and women seem to differ in their use of influential tactics. men are more likely than women to rely on direct impression management tactics. specifically, men are more likely to advertise their achievements and take personal credit for successes of others reporting to them. women are more reluctant to force the spotlight on themselves, preferring instead to share the credit with others. at the same time, women are more likely to apologise (personally take blame) even for problems not caused by them. men are more likely to assign blame and less likely to assume it.

*smirks* point proven.

Hui:

HeY, iT's mE aGaIn.. cAn sEe ThAt i'M rEaLLi BoReD hUh? hAHa.. i wEnT fOr LuNcH aT 11.30aM aNd cAmE bAcK aT 1+pm.. aT 2pM i WeNt oUt AgAiN.. TiLl 4pM!! sPeNt aLL TheSe tIme TaLkiNg rUbBiSh. :p cAmE bAcK tO tHe LaB tO sLeEp.. cOs tHe InTeRnEt wAs DoWn jUs NoW. aT aBoUt 4.45pm, mY fReN WoKe mE uP aNd SaiD mY FrEn WaS oUtSiDe. i LoOkEd oUt aNd SaW Mei. hAha.. sO stOoD oUtSiDe mY Lab tO ChAt fOr A wHiLe. ShE wAs iN CkC's Lab, AsKinG cKc tO HeLp heR on HeR pRojEcT. sHe SaiD sHe FeEL bAd sO ShE WanTed tO gO bAcK to E LaB. i diN WaNt tO LeT hEr gO sO We KiNda PlaYed CaTchiNg aNd kEpt BlOcKiNg hER wAy bAcK tO tHe RoOm. aM sO aWakE aNd eNeRgeTic Now. bUt sTiLL bOrEd! yEaH~! 15 mOrE MinUtEs tO SiGniNg oUt! WhEe~!!!

hui:

hai, actually posted an entry yesterday but there was an error. damn blogger. lousy. :p i dunno y i still can't tag the stupid tagboard! hai.. lazy to repeat what i wrote yesterday.. basically jus saying i'm broke and i need a job during e one month holiday lor.

2 weeks plus to e end of my final year project. yay! but i would have to write a report. i dunno what to write man. i'm doing animation. what's there to write? they say write abt the problems encountered and solutions to them.. but... i dun seem to have any problem doing it leh. (ops. not i hao lian oh.. its cos the required flash is very simple. trust me, it is..) haha.. all my friends in my lab have something to write abt.. like research... acknowledgements.. printout of codes.. but me?! i dun have to do any research, mine's not programming so dun have codes.. then how.. onli put screen shots of my flash an website meh.. o_O hai.. shall ask my supervisor later.. (that's if she comes)

bored bored bored bored bored!! jus had my lunch. nothing to do now. cant play games... cos all e games and entertainment websites have been blocked by nasty NYP. -_- no ppl online to chat with me.. hmm, there are ppl online.. jus that they are either being blocked (ng zi hao and bee eng) or i dun feel like toking to them. haha

PS: Ting, i'm sorry that i can't make u feel better or suggest ways to u when u're not feeling good. i also dunno wad to say at times.. but remember, if u ever need a listening ear, use mine ok? :)

ting:

uurrrggghhh!!!! am in a living nightmare right now!! the next few days are probably going to be the worst in my life. i have an accounting test tomorrow. and i was pretty confident about it. or so i thought till i attempted last year's paper. and now....URGGGHHHH!!!!! *tears hair out* i realise i don't know a lot of things! why must accounting be so conflicting?? i think i have effectively confused yiqin too! oh no!! sigh... so there goes my beauty sleep tonight. shit. urgh!!! shit shit shit. *goes into panic mode* heellppp! pei, i think i'm gonna need more than the luck you wished me this afternoon.

so yeah, that is tonight and tomorrow. and guess what? i have a programming test on monday too! and i still know close to nothing about it. shit shit shit shit shit. what am i going to do!!!???? urrrggghhhh................. i'm dying. no, i'm dead already. not the best way to spend a weekend...trying to master two horrendous modules. and spending my weekend doing that means zero time available for doing my tutorials. which equals spending monday night rushing through them like nobody's business. gosh. typing this out kind of makes reality sink in. give me two weeks and i assure you hollywood will come begging me to star in resident evil 3 or twenty eight days later 2 -which ever comes first- as a zombie. hmmm...

meanwhile...*freaks out somemore*

hui:

it's friday again. tired. but dun feel like sleeping. dunno y i'm always tired but dun feel like sleeping on weekends. anyway went out with siowshan to orchard jus now. hmm.. toked abt marcus and tim. tim and siowshan are leos, and marcus and me are arians. it seems like we have too many smiliarities. but sometimes siowshan and me would be in e same boat. maybe cos we're both gals? bah.

dunno y no mood today. totally sian. maybe pms. haha.. dun feel like toking, dun feel like chatting, dun feel like sleeping, dun feel like eating, dun feel like having mood for everything, anything. i already say le i dunno y.. so dun ask me man.. i seldom feel like this. usually when something's not right with me i am able to tell the reason right away.

i have 4 MSN windows in my taskbar now. Ting, Mei, Jana, Jinhong and Alex. Mei stopped replying abt 15-20mins ago, i replied to Ting and Jana who jus msged me. i totally ignored Jinhong's and Alex's msg. actually got reply to jinhong a bit la.. i said goodnight to him cos he said he's going to sleep and it was nice seeing me in sch today. haha..

and oh ya.. jinhong said it was nice seeing me today cos i "acocmpanied" for an hour plus. he and zihao are in e same class and they were having practical lesson in e lab across my lab. siowshan wanted me to pass her a CD so i went out and saw that ng zihao kanna lectured by a lecturer. hahaha! so shiok man. see his ego being crushed. muahhaha!! after passing the CD to siowshan and going to the toilet, i saw jinhong outside my lab with one of his friends. so i said hi and made a causual conversation with him. talked losta craps. (his friend left shortly i said hi :p) he was waiting for his friend to finish the practial test and then go home together. so i chatted with him.. standing for an hour or so. i then saw that zihao coming out and walking towards our direction. wth.. dun come wad.. he cannot see me meh.. want to act da fang izzit.. -_- (actually its me act da fang onli la, i think? haha) man.. i wanted to go in.. but i cant.. cos it would be so obvious. so i jus stood there. haha.. jus then, my lab friend msg me.. so practically 85% of e time when zihao was there i was sms-ing. heard from jinhong that zihao's applying to go for e overseas attachment next semester in USA. but i was like "ok, like i care" that kinda expression in front of zihao. haha.. he still need his father's permission. hope he cant go! i'm evil! muahahha.. dun like to see him getting what he wants. muahhaha!

ting, we should take pics some of these days after ur exam. haha.. long time nv take pic with u. and we look ugly in e "Hougang St 91" photo.. but anyway that was how we looked like in March this year. 7 months ago. haha.. to think our looks change so much huh? (or maybe not..)

ok, so much for writing a blog to entertain ting (as well as myself and cos i haven been blogging these days) feeling a wee bit better now.. 95% of the "no-mood" feeling's still here in me. bah.

ting:

i am just sitting here, staring at the computer screen and waiting for the flash of inspiration which will help me figure out how to do my programming assignment. but nothing is happening. my mind is as blank as my visual basic window. proves exactly how "techno-savvy" i am. guess i am the only pathetic idiot in the entire business faculty who knows nuts about this module. sighs. and i realise i whine a lot. hui doesn't seem to do any whining. oh well. i guess i whine enough for the both of us.

yes. i need help. a lot of help too. and not just in programming. i think i need a shrink. it has come to the point where i am losing myself. i don't know myself anymore. i am not someone i want or would like to be. i don't even understand what i am thinking or feeling. i don't care about the things i used to care about. i just want to go away. preferably to a place halfway around the world. the further the better. be a whole new person. get a whole new identity. i am so sick of me. i don't want to be myself anymore.

hmm, i better brush up on my english. cos i think quite a lot of ppl with good english are reading this blog! haha.. my english's too lousy le.

received an sms early in e morning (ok, not tt early. 11am) from an unkown sender saying "miss u sei so much" wth.. who on earth is this.. so i replied "huh who are u? brother?" brother referring to Jana.. haha.. cos he sounds like Jana.. no reply from tt unknown person after that. crazy.. the number is 91885469.. who on earth would send a wrong sms?

slept at 4.30am last night. was chatting and playing game. heh... and i din go to sch today! super slack huh... but bu slack bao bu slack. cos i dun have any tests or exams this semester. mus bunk sch whenever i have e chance. haha.. actually there're 2 more reasons (or excuses if u would call it) to y i din go sch. zhi, jol, jess and i had a stupid plan.. the 4 of us din go sch today.. we wanted to see if Alien would have lunch with Predator alone. haha.. (and of cos becos we're lazy to go sch and wanted to have a long weekend) but too bad, Alien did not go to sch today. another reason is tt Tim's having his driving test. so i accompanied him.. he passed!! yay!! hope he can drive me home soon. but then again, i have to wait for at least 2-3 months before i let him to come pick me or fetch me home.

bought a pouch in bugis jus now. bringing it to sch tml. ^^ i can "yaya" walk in to sch without holding anything in my hands or bringing a big bag. its small.. very small.. y din i choose a bigger one? haha.. i think im going to have a flu or something.. my nose irritates me and i keep sneezing. hope i'll be fine tml.

ting:

tips on how to prevent yourself from smashing either the computer or your head while trying to figure out a code for programming:

1. listen to songs. a lot of very nice, very slow, soothing songs. nothing fast and no rock! you don't want to get yourself too excited.

2. have a nice slab of chocolate next to you. yup you heard me right. slab. a bar is definitely not gonna be enough.

3. make sure you have an occasional distraction, like your mum coming in to ask whether you would like a piece of mooncake or your dad popping in to catch a beetle for you. oh...and a game of solitaire at times would be very much appreciated too.

4. have a religion. it doesn't matter what religion because you would need a God to call out to. (i'm christian so dear God, please help me figure out the darn thing!)

5. when you attempt to run the program, make sure you have a lot of time on your hands because there is a 99% chance it is not gonna work.

6. put your cpu out of kicking distance. trust me...it is going to help prevent you from getting into deep shit when your dad realises you spoilt a computer which is almost brand new.

7. remind yourself repeatedly it is not the monitor's fault when the system screws up. the monitor's job is just to show you what the cpu says things are.

8. if there are any windows near you, keep them SHUT and LOCKED.

9. if you are using a laptop, get a laptop lock and clamp it onto your table, so chances of you flinging the thing across the room is significantly reduced.

10. always ensure you save your work, irregardless of whether the program runs or not. you don't want to go through the whole entire process again if you didn't save it by mistake.

and there you go folks...a whole list to help pull you through your programming assignment. with luck, this list would help keep you sane. but don't say i didn't warn you...this list will NOT ensure that you will be able to figure out the code. it will just keep you (and your computer) alive long enough to get things done.

hui:
woohoo~! this is our new layout!! is it niceeeee?? :D actually i din ask ting if i can change e layout leh. but it's alright, cos if she doesn't like it, i can easily change to back to e original one. cos i have backup. hehe.. i think the new layout is nice~ fell asleep for abt 45mins after toking on e phone jus now. wanted to rest my eyes for abt 5-10mins.. but ended up falling alseep. haha.. not e first time.. hmm, my sister's milk teeth is shaking. blood. hmm.. better attend to her. see ya!!

ting:

i have been blogging too much recently. urgh. should really try to break out of this habit. it is so time consuming!

one test down...two to go! urgh... hope i didn't screw up today's test in a major way. bunked mno lecture to try and mug for it but ended up sleeping in. shit. well, it wasn't entirely my fault! it was boring! very very boring! if you think mr ng's notes are bad, think again. at least mr ng's notes had stuff like "more than one's toes get warm under the blankets" to help relieve the boredom. this has NOTHING!!! and it is a useless module too. come on! why must i analyse every single speech act theory? if i were to say i am performing a locutionary act with the intention of whining about how redundant this mod is so that a perlocutionary act of them doing away with the stupid module altogether will have it's effect, will anyone even understand what i am saying?? sighs...

to those ex-deyians reading this blog: do any of you know where guo an is?? is he in NS or in uni? because if he happens to be in NUS, i think he is in one of my classes. i can't be sure. that guy looks so much like him! if it is him, then all i can say is he has become very ugly. *thinks of the past and cringes* (let's hope to goodness he will never have reason to come across this blog) if you are a guy and i happen to fall for you, do not be flattered!! because i probably have (and am not afraid to admit it) the worst taste on earth. i know many people would agree with me here. heh... but then again, have not fell for anyone for slightly over a year so am hoping the worst is over. i know this is probably the dumbest thing to say as i might step out of my room and fall head over heels in love with the first guy i set eyes on. then again, probably not. *cross fingers*

i'm just babbling away and not making much sense so guess i had better get a head start on my programming assignment. but i gotta warn you, once i get started, there will be no more blog entries for a long long time to come because i'll probably just end up smashing my computer.