Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can`t find your birth control pills
Worse: Your daughter borrowed them
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Worse: You`re in them
Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He`s a cross dresser
Worse: He looks better than you
Showing posts with label SX. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SX. Show all posts
Monday, February 7, 2011
Monday, September 20, 2010
Different Types Of Pussy.. (Only for ADULT)
Different Types Of Pussy..
DON'T SCROLL DOWN IF YOU ARE MINOR
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DON'T SCROLL DOWN IF YOU ARE MINOR
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Thursday, July 29, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
opposite of laughing
What is the opposite of laughing?
The student says: sex!
The teacher:
Shame on you! How can you say that?
The student:
Laughing is
Ha ha ha,
Sex is
Ah ah ah
The student says: sex!
The teacher:
Shame on you! How can you say that?
The student:
Laughing is
Ha ha ha,
Sex is
Ah ah ah
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Marketing Tips
A professor was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:-
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!" -That's Direct Marketing
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says:
"He's very rich. Marry him." -That'sAdvertising
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say:
"Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." -That'sTelemarketing
4. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and
straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" -That'sPublic Relations
5. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry me?" -That's Brand Recognition
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on
your face. -That'sCustomer Feedback
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her
husband. -That's demand and supply gap
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything; another person comes and tells her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him -That'scompetition eating into your market share
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. -That's restriction for entering new markets
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!" -That's Direct Marketing
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says:
"He's very rich. Marry him." -That'sAdvertising
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say:
"Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." -That'sTelemarketing
4. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and
straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" -That'sPublic Relations
5. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry me?" -That's Brand Recognition
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on
your face. -That'sCustomer Feedback
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her
husband. -That's demand and supply gap
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything; another person comes and tells her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him -That'scompetition eating into your market share
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. -That's restriction for entering new markets
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
How a guy selects the right girl to marry
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.
She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man is impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.
As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.
Then he married the one with the largest breasts.
Men are Men!!!
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.
She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man is impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.
As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.
Then he married the one with the largest breasts.
Men are Men!!!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Secretary and The King
The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sightseeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers that her boss told her not to reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the king from wanting to marry her.
After a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara." The African king pauses for awhile. Then he nods his head and says, "No problem! I have. I have."
Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. And as a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France." The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone and calls some brokers in New York and in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay. I build. I build."
Realizing that she only has one last condition, the secretary knows that she'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think and finally she gets an idea, a sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like sex, I want the man I marry to have a 14-inch penis."
The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and rests his elbows on the table, all the while muttering in African dialect. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the king shakes his head, looking really sad, and says to the woman, "Okay, okay. I cut. I cut."
After a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara." The African king pauses for awhile. Then he nods his head and says, "No problem! I have. I have."
Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. And as a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France." The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone and calls some brokers in New York and in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay. I build. I build."
Realizing that she only has one last condition, the secretary knows that she'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think and finally she gets an idea, a sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like sex, I want the man I marry to have a 14-inch penis."
The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and rests his elbows on the table, all the while muttering in African dialect. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the king shakes his head, looking really sad, and says to the woman, "Okay, okay. I cut. I cut."
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
A girls first time
read the whole thing dont give up half way through it!
*a girls first time*
(Assume you are a girl if you are a boy)
It's your first time.
As you lie back your muscles tighten.
You put himoff for a while searching for an excuse, but he;refuses
to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely.
He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has
found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's
gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him - he's
done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him
;more room for an easy entrance.
You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his
time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
As he presses;closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give
way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight
trickle of blood as he continues.
Helooks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful.
Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod
for him to go on.
He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb
to feel himwithin you.
After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and
he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over.
He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a
chuckle; that you have beenhis most stubborn yet most
rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your dentist.
After all,it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
*a girls first time*
(Assume you are a girl if you are a boy)
It's your first time.
As you lie back your muscles tighten.
You put himoff for a while searching for an excuse, but he;refuses
to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely.
He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has
found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's
gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him - he's
done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him
;more room for an easy entrance.
You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his
time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
As he presses;closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give
way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight
trickle of blood as he continues.
Helooks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful.
Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod
for him to go on.
He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb
to feel himwithin you.
After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and
he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over.
He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a
chuckle; that you have beenhis most stubborn yet most
rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your dentist.
After all,it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
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