The NHS, In All Its Glory....

Kyra Warrell faces a lifetime of disability if £58,000 cannot be raised to pay for specialist treatment abroad in February.

The six-year-old was born with a rare condition which means her left leg is deformed and will not grow properly.

She has to wear a bulky and heavy prosthetic to help her walk which gives her a lot of pain.

How sad. But why does she have to go abroad?

Surgery that would lengthen the leg is available but only at a specialist clinic in Israel.

Note: not Palestine, or Saudi Arabia. Israel. The little Middle Eastern country that could.

And what of the amazing, wonderful NHS that the progressives think is so wonderful?

Doctors in the UK have so far offered only to amputate Kyra’s lower leg so she can wear a prosthetic limb more easily.

Yet they don't tell fat benefit sponges with mental health conditions or self-inflicted injuries to go abroad, do they?

Cheaper Than The Stuff That Comes Out Of The Tap For Free?

Teachers are demanding schools ban energy drinks after research found children were buying the drinks because they were cheaper than water.

Ummm, how's that work, then?

Darren Northcott, NASUWT national official for education, told the BBC that consuming excessive quantities of energy drinks can cause poor behaviour in children.

Or, more accurately, 'enhance the already poor behaviour the little shits are prone to'....

The BSA, which represents manufacturers, said the drinks were safe for young people. "Energy drinks and their ingredients have been deemed safe by regulatory authorities around the world," the BSA statement read.

But the teaching unions know best.

The Idea That The Modern Police Service Knows What Is 'Practical' Is Laughable

A senior police officer has said it is “not practical” for officers to investigate crimes such as shoplifting and criminal damage as his force bids to save £400 million.

But it's totally practical to chase decades-old abuse cases and Tweets that offend people?

Deputy assistant commissioner Mark Simmons said the force had to work with fewer officers and less money, with the Crime Assessment Policy introduced to help prioritise resources.

He said: “Clearly this is not about letting criminals get away with crime, or not investigating the cases we are solving at the moment, if we thought it was, we simply would not do this.”

If you were capable of thought, you wouldn't do half the things you currently do!

Are you sure you couldn't save a few pennies by abolishing the Rapid Reaction Twitter Force?

“We need our officers to be focused on serious crime and cases where there is a realistic chance that we will be able to solve it.”

Really? Or is that only when it's in nice sunny countries?

Ex-Met detective chief inspector Mick Neville told the Sun: “This is justice dreamed up by bean counters in shiny suit land.

“No consideration is being given to victims. The new principles will focus police attention on easy crimes where there is a known suspect.

“Few professional criminals target people who know them, so the worst villains will evade justice. Not investigating high volume crimes like shoplifting with a loss of under £50 will give junkies a green light to thieve.”

Notice it's always ex-detectives that say this?

H/T: CJ Nerd via email

Oh, Is It That Time Of Year Again?

Poppy Day parades to honour Britain’s war dead are facing the axe because police chiefs across the country are refusing to send officers to block off roads.

Yes, it's the time of year when the police top brass get to use the nation's war dead as a stick to beat the government with...

Jock Bryson, 82, who runs the town’s Royal British Legion poppy appeal, said: ‘I feel disgusted that people went to war and gave their lives and now, all of a sudden, the police are saying they are not going to help us this year.’

You notice, Jock, they never say they won't help the Notting Hill Carnival? I do...

Frank Mullen, 80, who served in the Royal Signals, said: ‘It is ridiculous. It is going to be cancelled because the police can’t be there and we can’t by law stop traffic.

'We are one of the richest countries and they can’t even afford three or four police officers for an hour’s work.’

They can afford to make fools of themselves on social media all the day long, though....

We Have Finally Gone Mad...

LBC has learned that Transport for London and the Met Police are working to protect Grenfell Tower from selfie-takers, as two million people pass through Notting Hill for the carnival this weekend.

Wait, what?

Their work includes using barriers to block off streets around the site, with extra police officers in place to make sure only residents can access the area close to the tower, as well as preserving the many tributes which have been left out on railings and walls.

Locals tell us it’s to stop thousands of what they call ‘grief tourists’ from making detours during Carnival to get close to the building and take pictures and selfies.

Now, I cannot imagine why anyone would want to do so but...it's a free country. And it's also one supposedly in 'austerity measures' (Ed: *hollow laughter*) isn't it?

So why can we apparently spend money on this sort of mawkish twaddle?

TfL, meanwhile, are doing even more. LBC’s been shown an email that shows they’ve started putting up barriers along the railway line at Latimer Road station, and will be keeping tubes on the platform for longer to obscure the view of the tower.

So if your journey takes longer, you know why. Because we've lost all sense of proportion in this country.

There will also be automated messages at stations and on the trains between Hammersmith and Paddington, reminding people to move quickly when they get off at Latimer Road station, to be respectful and not take pictures of the ruins.

When does Teresa May make her horse a consul?

H/T: @MaraudingWinger via Twitter

Terrible, Terrible Cuts!

Dozens of primary school students lay down in the road and played dead as part of a shocking safety campaign.

I thought schools were overburdened?

Constable Leigh Allen, community officer for Clackmannanshire West said: 'We were happy to support this event organised by the parents' council. 'It highlights how dangerous it is to park on the double yellow lines outside the school.

'Officers attended to ensure the road was free of traffic so it was safe for the children to lie down on the road.'

I thought police were stretched to the limit?

Special Pleading By Proxy

A six-year-old has written to the Prime Minister to plead for school funding so a beloved singing teacher can remain in post.

Otis Carter wrote the letter yesterday, upon learning that freelancer Al Start would not be returning to work at Elm Grove primary school in Brighton after this half term.

Otis’s mother Deb Friis, 43, told The Argus her son was so upset on hearing the news that after a conversation about politics he decided to write to the Prime Minster.

Hmmm, when I was six, my letters were mostly to Father Christmas...

Ms Friis, who works as a maths teacher (Ed: aha!) at St Pauls secondary school in Burgess Hill, said: “They told the children last Wednesday and Otis was crying when he walked home.

“We talked about politics and he’s very aware of what’s going on and he said ‘I’m going to write to Theresa May’.

“He came up with the words and we helped him with the spelling.”

Sure you did. That's all you helped him with, I'm sure...

Promise, Or Threat..?

*shudders*

Borough councillors will be urged to give the green light to releasing £70,000 from reserves and consider spending a further £200,000 later to support initiatives.

But...but the terrible cuts!

The report to the management committee next week says: “The projects represent an ambitious arts programme for the borough and are designed to reflect the aspirations of the management committee to support both high quality public art (for the benefit of both residents and visitors) and community-based creativity.”

It adds: “A key driver for investment in arts projects, particularly public art and the creative improvement of public realm, is the ability of high quality installations and designs to help ‘redefine’ public perception of a community.

“By allocating resources to improving the public realm, the council can help to increase the attractiveness of an area and set the tone for the quality of new development.”

To which I can only reply: "PARKLIFE!"

But, But Wait! What About The Cuts?

Police have vowed to work towards changing convicted burglars’ behaviour once out of prison rather than merely responding to break-ins.

Det Supt Kevin Baldwin, detective superintendent for the South local policing area, said that teams needed to focus on keeping track of known offenders and changing their behaviour.

Really? You've got time (and manpower) for this?

Mr Baldwin said: “It’s good to see that this sort of crime has gone down on Canvey. We need to invest time and effort into the people we know that are doing it and preventing them from committing those offences.

“We can invest time going to victim’s homes, and we will still do that, but if we spend a significant portion of our effort to prevent those burglaries from happening in the first place it will help.

“Once people are released on licence, they have licensing conditions that we can monitor. If they are released without conditions, we will make them nominals that we can keep track of.”

Wait, you didn't do this before..?

"We Can Only Afford The Most Vital Services..."

Southend Council has been criticised for its plans to spend £35,000 on park gates. The money will go towards refurbishing the Priory Park gates, as part of the council’s 125th birthday celebrations of the borough.

Oh, those savage, biting council cuts..!

One gate requires fixing and the lion statues that originally sat atop each gatepost which disappeared in the late 20th Century will also be replaced.

Disappeared, eh? Maybe don't make them from valuable metal this time...

Ann Holland, councillor responsible for culture, tourism and the economy, said: “As well as celebrating 125 years of Southend, it is also 100 years for Priory Park. I really don’t think it is too much to spend, the celebrations will be a real feelgood factor for the town.

They will...?

“When we had celebrations for 100 years of the borough a lot of money went into it and it was remembered by all who were involved. It’s really a worthwhile cause.

Ah. You mean 'We councillors had a great time, the canapes were lovely!'...

“The estimated cost of the work is up to £35,000 but we will be getting quotes to make sure we get best value. We are also actively seeking sponsorship for the 125 celebrations.”

 What a wonderful opportunity for an entrepreneur, I'm sure you'll agree?

Oh, Those Savage Council Cuts...

The council has announced they will be hosting a series of events to celebrate Women’s Empowerment Month.  

The programme includes stories from women’s fight for rights at Fords to a special event celebrating the 100th birthday of singer song-writer Vera Lynn.

While, there will also be a local women in politics event, which looks at politics from a women’s perspective and how they are breaking the glass ceiling at the Barking Town Hall.

Terrible, they are. Swingeing.

I Don't Think You're Achieving Much...

Next term, the 20 existing patrollers will not return to work, Barking and Dagenham council leader Darren Rodwell confirmed on Thursday.

The £165,000-a-year annual service would be over at the “end of March”, he said.

“We want the service to be delivered, we just can’t afford to pay for it,” he said.

And another Baby Seal looks up trustingly as the club descends...

Pat Fredericks, 69, has worked as a lollipop lady at Ripple Primary School for 37 years.

“I think it’s a big shame,” said Pat, who has received no official notification that the service will end.

“We aren’t just stopping the cars, we also educate the children on how to cross. It will be very dangerous without us.”

I often drive through Dagenham and I have to say, you're doing a pretty lousy job, if the number of kids blithely walking out in front of me without looking is anything to go by...

But...But....Local Council Cuts!

A new skate park will be built in Southend town centre in a bid to get nuisance youths off the streets.

The plans - spearheaded by James Courtenay, councillor responsible for children and learning - have been five years in the making.

Wait, what? I thought the Terrible Tory Cuts had left gaping holes in the council's budget?

Skaters and bikers currently use a makeshift park outside Southend Victoria station, on the corner of Victoria Avenue, and Queensway, but Mr Courtenay wants to give them a permanent base.

No, it's not 'a makeshift park' at all! It's just the pavement. Hence why the council spent yet more money trying to discourage them with new flowerbeds.

“When I joined the council in 2012 I went out on lots of visits, I talked to children and young adults and social workers of youth offenders.

“I also spoke to the youth council and I asked everyone what they wanted. The idea for a skate park came up. There are a lot of skaters that use the area outside Southend Victoria as a makeshift skating park but they need an official park.

“I had a lot of resistance to the idea and there was an argument that there were already facilities in Leigh and Shoebury but the point was that if you couldn’t drive, you couldn’t get to those facilities.”

Well, they can get their parents to drive them. It's not like they are working, is it?

The council has so far allocated £250,000 for the scheme, with plans to secure further grants.

FFS!

This Is Not, And Never Has Been, The Purpose Of A School...

Kevin Prunty is executive head teacher at Cranford community college, a high-achieving school in Hounslow, west London. His pupils are ambitious and successful, but many come from disadvantaged backgrounds.

Like other schools serving deprived areas, Cranford find itself increasingly playing a sophisticated welfare role in its community.

It is also footing the bill for uniforms, PE kits, shoes, lunches and educational trips from a diminishing budget, to subsidise parents who cannot afford to meet the costs.

And with the devastating Toree Cutz, it claims it cannot afford to continue.

“Schools know already that there are sizeable further cuts to funding on the way – and whilst we are currently able to fund these additional needs – it will soon become more difficult and perhaps impossible to justify doing so,” says Prunty.

Good! You should never have started justifying this in the first place!

At Springwest Academy in nearby Feltham, which also serves a community with high levels of disadvantage, there are similar concerns. Pastoral mentors deal with calls day in and day out from families with worries about housing and finances; school uniforms and shoes are being paid for more frequently out of the school’s hardship fund and almost four out of ten pupils (38.3%) are referred for counselling or other mental-health support.

I've often scorned the pitiful attempts at budget cuts but it seems they are, finally, starting to have some effect. If only on getting state institutions to start reverting to what they are paid to do.

If True, No Wonder We're In A Mess...

Polly holds up a family of unfortunates to berate us all with:

Theirs is an everyday story of modern family life.

The Percy family, you see, are the 'precariat'. Renters, in other words, on the private housing market.

The Percys’ £750 a month rent takes half of Rob’s earnings as a site manager at a local school. Emma knows someone in a rare council home in the area, paying just £450 a month. “That would make a very big difference to us,” she says, “but the council told us not to bother trying, as we’d never get one.”

Boo! Hiss! Eeeeeeevil Tory cuts!

When their first child was born, 14 years ago, Rob and Emma, who are now both 34, lived above a pub where Rob worked, but children weren’t allowed in staff quarters.

Wait, what..? Why'd they have one, then?

Their next home lasted just one six-month let, after which the owner took back the flat to sell it. They lived with Emma’s parents for two years, until their next child was born.

Hang on. Why do they keep having children?

Folkestone council offered emergency accommodation in a former Salvation Army hostel but, Emma recalls, “the toilet in the flat above leaked down on to us and even so it cost £800 a month”. Their next landlord raised the rent by £50 every six months, so they moved on: rents rise but pay doesn’t. In one home they had no working boiler for five months. They have been in their present home for 18 months and hope they can hold on here.

Hasn't stopped them having a third child, though. You might wonder why...

Fripperies, Not Education...

The money will be used towards reward events and prizes, diaries, progress and achievement badges, external speakers, special events and projects and transport to extra-curricular activities and matches.

Diaries..? DIARIES..? Isn't it 2016? Don't we all use the ones on our smartphones?

And I thought we didn't need no steenkin' badges..?

Headteacher Ahson Mohammed was not available for comment.

I just bet..!

Another Baby Seal Hostage....

The annual Hockley Christmas lights night has been ditched because of a lack of volunteers coming forward to help marshal the event as well as operational support, including moving around equipment on the day.

And volunteers have been found who will rush to.....moan about this in the local paper?

Oh.

John Pocklington from Orchard Avenue, Hockley, said it was a disappointment the celebration wouldn’t be taking place. The 71-year-old said: “Everyone is up in arms about this. It’s usually a big community event of the year, you can’t move it is so packed.

“Hundreds usually come and there are stalls, children dancing, and choirs - to move around was almost impossible because so many people turn up.”

You might think that the event is, therefore, a victim of its own success. And you'd be partly right.

Roy Martin, the chairman of Hockley Parish Council, explained: “ This year the parish council has encountered some late operational and safety challenges which we do not have the resources to resolve in time.”

It is also unlikely we will have the support of either the police or the fire service due to their other priorities.

So....what's happened here is the council get to shrug their shoulders and say 'Toree cutz, mate, innit?' Because that's easier than changing the event into something more manageable.

#PrayforDrShackleton

As the junior doctor's strike got under way yesterday, one revealed the awful conditions these brave souls are struggling with in a heartless Tory world...

Monsters, they are. Monsters, I tell you....

Why Does The Public Sector Need To Hold Your Hand, Mr Clemmet?

Malcolm Clemmet, 66, joined the Just Beat It! programme in August last year. Since then his GP says his fitness has improved by a third, he has lost 10kg in weight, and his blood sugar and cholesterol levels have fallen.

Mr Clemmet, from Shildon, County Durham, credits the improvements to his health to the Just Beat It! programme.

Hurrah! Well done!

Last month, The Northern Echo revealed that the scheme launched less than a year ago was to be cancelled after funding was withdrawn.

Ah. Well, austerity, and all that.

Mr Clemmet said he was "astonished" at the decision to cancel the scheme.

"It cannot believe that this proven programme is having its funding withdrawn.

"I read that diabetes and obesity is costing the NHS some £50 million pounds in the North-East - I'm certain that this programme would help reduce this cost significantly."

Mr Clemmet has written to the scheme's managers to express his disappointment. He has also contacted his MP, Helen Goodman, asking her to get involved.

Ummm, why not start up your own little group, Mr Clemmet? These secrets to losing weight aren't copyright, are they?

"Yeah, But We're The Real Victims Here..."

No, not Muslims this time.

Police officers finally attended on Saturday evening, 36 hours after the attack, and have spoken to the owner of the terrier about the possibility of rehoming it.

Mrs Armstrong said: “I just can’t understand why they did not send someone out earlier.

“When they arrived, the officers said if it was any consolation, they had not had a break all day.

“They said there was no budget and no staff to cover.”

Yeah, they often say that. All forces use the Terrible Toree Cutz as the bogeyman.

But they have no problems dealing with serious crime, I note.