Moving

You are always moving. That is the least of what I've learnt so far. You are either going up or down. You are not stagnant. You do not stay in one place.

There isn't much else to say. I am not particularly articulate as of now, though it’s not for want of trying. What happens when the words stop coming? Do you fall into a lapse - spatially, temporally - where there is simply a thin hum of silence? Or worse, a lapse where the silence is incapable of acknowledging itself, a silence so silent it comes with no emotion, no personality, no awareness, a numbed silence that gradually crosses you out, that really only means you don't give a flying fuck anymore?

Outgrown

When do you know you're outgrowing an author?

When you start correcting them in your head.

Piano Crave

I'm sure I've posted about this before, but there it is. I'm watching someone play 'That's Why You Go Away' by MLTR on the piano and I'm just like - I WANT.

I suppose I'll try to go brush up some guitar skills and make do with pathetic guitar strumming (only pathetic because it's me, bahaha).

All righty.

Ten Rules for Writing (Fiction)

Came across this article on the online Guardian and thought I'd make my own list. So, my ten rules for writing fiction: 

1. Write. 

2. Read. 

3. Write again. 

4. Read what you've written.

5. Take five months off and come back. 

6. Read what you've written again.

7. Take another five months. 

8. Bunk off writing and move to Manchester.

9. Write about Manchester. 

10. Send updated script (with detailed description of industrial Manchester) to an agent. 

(11). Await rejection. 

--> I can be so bored at times.

You Who Are You Who Are

When you see yourself, are you ever surprised with what's there?

Also, think about how you'd cut up this made-up phrase: You who are you who are. 
You who are / you who are
You / who are you / who are
You who / are you who / are

I love it when a phrase has personality. Whoopadoodadoo.

Tree in Garden

The tree is ten yards into the garden, but I see it as though it were in front of me, every detail – the jagged cracks in the bark, the way its arms yawn and sigh – brushing against my cheek like the wind. But what I see cannot possibly be. The tree is completely hidden in the shadows, and it is dark. The entire garden is dark. Oh look, look at my feet, they’re in the shadows too, I can’t see my shoes at all, and look, further up, I can’t see my knees either. I slowly lift my fingers to my face. All I grab is air. There is no light.

Kindle

That's it! I'm getting a Kindle!

Don't get me wrong; I am a huge fan of paperbacks. Huge. But when you're down on one knee trying to pull up a fifteen-kilo bag of books (and realize that this is only Bag No. 1), something's not working.

The only thing that stopped me before was that not all books are on Kindle yet, so what was the point of buying a Kindle without the books I would want to read? The way I see it now, there are about half of all the books I want to read that are on Kindle, and if I can save the weight on them, my former argument loses hold. Besides, I hate that I have to choose between keeping certain books and giving others away just because they're too heavy to bring home.

Shakespeare

'What is madness but to define madness?'
- Shakespeare, Hamlet

It's true! Shakespeare's as mad as I am.

GR

Don't you dare put me in a box, because I break every fold.

Piano

I miss my piano. I miss putting fingers to keys, reading a totally awesome sign language, and making music my way. I miss dicovering new scores, I miss the sight-readings, I miss the elation when you get a whole piece right.

When I go home this summer, I want to have learnt 24 new pieces, you hear me, future self? Three for every week. Ack! I'm gonna start looking for 'em scores now.

God-structuring

God found me. This sounds as though God could never find me before.

I found God. This sounds as though I have more power than God.

Either way, the phrases don't work. God and I found each other. I was lost and then I was found. Why does 'found' sound so accidental?

Email

Got this quote from an email:

Did you cry a lot? ... you were cleansing the soul.

Sucker Punch

If you stand for nothing, you fall for everything.
- Movie Sucker Punch

Days

- Philip Larkin

What are days for?
Days are where we live.
They come, they wake us
Time and time over.
They are happy to be in:
Where can we live but days?

Ah, solving that question
Brings the priest and the doctor
In their long coats
Running over the fields.

Conviction

He has swum far and dived low to be certain of his course to heaven
Certain that the best-kept secret will present itself
Propped like a pearl in an open shell

So he sings to his lady, tells her an oceanful of truths
And she says yes I know
Out of pity

Ivory

The opaque juts out
Like ivory
Under the thin

Where did it all disappear to?
__ loves to ask.

The New Life

Feel it everyday, the humdrum
Of a pain becoming familiar
Ritualise it, make it religion
Make it the Be-all End-all

Get tired of it, the sameness
Of a practice without will
Be angry, slash at it, widen the gashes
Watch it sew itself back

Ask for it, the new living
To denounce this pain
For it is not pain at all
Merely a lost road taken

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

- Shakespeare, Macbeth

Happy

When was the last time Happiness wasn't just a word?

When did Happiness become a concept to decipher, a mesh of other feelings, the antithesis of Sadness?

When was the last time you were happy, and didn't have to define it so?

Firework

- Katy Perry

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?
Six feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you?

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby, you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, oh
As you shoot across the sky



(Thanks Sarah!)