wacky tacky Tunes: Scoping Out Scopitone

If you had a hammer, what would you do?  Would you hammer in the morning?  Would you hammer in the evening?  All over this land?  Would you?  Really?  Or, would you put on a beaded-chiffon cocktail dress, pin on your best hairpieces, and start dancing?!!

"If I Had a Hammer" - Debbie Reynolds

The lyrics kind of take on their own new meaning 

if one thinks of the nasty Reynolds/Fisher/Taylor triangle.

Presumably not the vision Pete Seeger had when he penned his 1949 anthem  of social justice, this mid-1960s Scopitone video featuring the unsinkable Debbie Reynolds, is a glittering bit of musical-mash-up genius.  Yes, Seeger and the folkies probably saw this incongruous extravaganza of set design, costuming, choreography, and rearranged folk music as a glaring miscarriage of social justice.  We, however, can only mete out wacky tacky justice and we find in favor of the Scopitone!

A Scopitone Machine

(Source)

Scopitone machines, a short-lived technology, were essentially video jukeboxes found in barrooms, diners, nightclubs, and anywhere else an early-adopting proprietor would see fit to place one.  While similar devices abounded (see Cinebox, Colorama, et al.), Scopitone pulled ahead of the pack first in Europe and then in America where, for mere pocket change, fans could enjoy the likes of Herb Alpert, Paul Anka, and Della Reese performing their greatest hits - talk about being "Touched by an Angel!!!"

With roots on the continent, several of Scopitone's biggest
stars were European; this Scopitone machine features those
wacky tacky wunderkinds, The Kessler Twins.
(Source)

Many of the videos are available to view online but ever since my brother lent me his three-volume compilation of Scopitones one week ago, I have been watching little else.  I love these videos not only for their second-tier stars and silly subject matter, but for their complete lack of polish; the Our Gang Follies had higher production values, for Petey's sake!  It's just lucky for them that we love lip-syncing and low quality productions.

"Daddy" - Julie London

"Wheel of Fortune" - Kay Starr

"Small Potatoes" - Gale Garnett

Scopitone videos often give the impression that late-night access to an unlocked soundstage was acquired by a loosely-associated film crew.  Inspired by whatever scenery and props happened to be lying around, they quickly developed what can best be described as sexy, if scattershot, story lines.  With a greater emphasis on commitment and strong facial expressions than on accuracy and synchronization, a small cast of unacquainted singers and dancers was assembled.   Overall, the motto appears to have been, "Let's get this in one take...before they catch us."  Some of the best examples of the American Scopitone ethos feature that buxom, platinum-haired starlet, Joi Lansing.

"Web of Love" - Joi Lansing

Well, my brothers and my sisters, I have a bell - a bell called Scopitone.  I'll ring it in the morning.  I'll in it in the evening all over this land.  I'll ring out danger.  I'll ring out a warning.  I'll ring out love (of Scopitone) between you all over this land!  Now where did I put my hammer?

scopitonearchive.com

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

wacky tacky Icons: The Kessler Twins

Is there anything better than a tall, cool, blonde of foreign extraction?  The answer is obviously yes, two tall, cool, blondes of foreign extraction - with bonus points for being twins....

...and having matching wolfhounds!!!

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Better known to their native-German following as "Die Kessler Zwillinge" and their adoptive-Italian audiences as "Le Gemelle Kessler," Alice and Ellen Kessler, "The Kessler Twins," were destined for stardom despite being born in the turbulence of pre-War Germany (although, being the epitome of the idealized-Aryan genotype was certainly no a hindrance in that particular climate).

Alice und Ellen
(in no particular order)
(Source)

Emerging relatively unscathed from the war years, Alice and Ellen put their vocal and dance training to use and quickly gained nationwide notoriety.  Their performance of "Heute Abend Wollen Wir Tanzen Geh'n (Tonight We Want to Go Dancing)," earned them placement in the top ten of the Eurovision Song Contest of 1959 and international acclaim.

"Heute Abend Wollen Wir Tanzen Geh'n" - The Kessler Twins

Like a long-legged, living embodiment of a Doublemint Gum ad, the Kessler's doubled their pleasure and
doubled their fun by finding fame in France (a residence at Paris' famed Lido night club) and super-stardom in Italy.
(Source: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

"Quando, Quando, Quando" - The Kessler Twins
(Many of the sisters' hits were sung in Italian or a German-Italian hybrid)

The poster children for post-War multiculturalism, I wondered if the twins ever became a star-attraction in the United States; Life Magazine of February 22, 1963 answered my question.

"Sensations from Germany: Kessler Twins"
(Source)

While never quite the hit they were in Italy,
The Kessler Twins appeared with Ed Sullivan,

Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Red Skelton,
and Danny Kaye while in America.

Apparently, they also made a lasting impression on a young,
US Army Sergeant on leave in Paris, namely Elvis Presley. 

(Source)

I think I love The Kessler Twins because they are the kind of novelty act that just doesn't exist anymore.  Besides Matthew & Gunnar, who was the last big sister twins act?  And when was the last time you heard of a long-standing nightclub engagement?  When was the last time you heard mini-dress-wearing German sisters sing a Lou Rawls' song in Italian?

"A Natural Man" - The Kessler Twins

I am definitely not the biggest fan of contemporary pop music but I will say that these kids nowadays are well-produced and expected to be polished within an inch of their lives; all the Kessler Twins had to do was be pretty and twirl.  It is their mere passing acquaintance with synchronization that warms the wacky tacky cockles of my heart (aren't twins supposed to have some intuitive connection???).

I also love their always-of-the-moment styling.
Hello, mermaid-hair helmets!!!
(Source)

Are you a fan of The Kessler Twins?  Even better, are you a twin yourself?  The Kesslers continued to perform well into the 1980's; I don't know if they are still performing but I for one would love to see a live Kessler spectacular, wouldn't you?  "Ciao-f Wiedersehen!"

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny