Crazy Crafty: A Living Vintage Valentine

I was the kid who pressed too hard when he borrowed your markers.

It wasn't just your markers, however; when scribbling away with pen in a notebook, one could easily flip ahead at least ten pages and see a clear imprint of what I had previously written.  Oddly enough, I had an unreasonable affinity for written exams but would break an undue amount of pencils in the process, suffering from hand cramps hours after.  I've even endured severe chastisement (and costly remediation) from the dentist for brushing too hard.

Pressing too hard has been a recurring theme in my crafting life as well.  As evidenced by my Statue of Liberty Lime Jell-O, Mama's Macaroni Magic Necklace, and Rootin' Tootin' Cowboy Twine Holder,  I am quite capable of pressing a craft too hard in nearly every way - technically, thematically, and financially.  The inspiration of this year's Valentine's Day craft came from a source that often presses too hard in my favorite area of wordplay - the humble pun.

Vintage valentine cards are universally adored for their charming 

illustrations but the highlight for me is always the written sentiments.

Looking to transcend the two-dimensionality of the printed card, I envisioned a living Valentine that combined the old-timey whimsy of the illustrations with the hokiness of the punny inscription.  Gathering my supplies - and my wits - I struggled to find an original concept.

Supplies included heart-shaped safety pins, washi tape, googly eyes, pipe cleaner, and the omnipresent rick rack.

I finally came up with an idea that reflected my penchant for dad jokes, poorly-executed crafts, and killing weak plant life.  A discount cactus became the perfect foil for my Valentine's Day dream.

"You're Lookin' SHARP, Valentine!

SEW I won't stop NEEDLING you
until you put the "US" in CACTUS!"

Three puns in one sentence, that's a wacky tacky world record!
It wasn't my first instinct to use "cactus," but "succulent" lent itself to some rather unsavory word play.

Like more CUSHION for the PUSHIN'...

I could've sworn that I had at least 1,700 of those tomato pin cushions.
When I could find nary a one, I was forced to make my own
using polka dot remnants and some baker's twine.

I'll STRING ALONG with you!

Okay, baker's twine may have become something of a crafting cliche but on a
vintage wooden spool, it looks way better than plain, old, mercerized cotton.

"I'll String Along With You" - Doris Day in My Dream is Yours (1949)
It was either this or "My PUNNY Valentine."

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny