Cherry blossoms~*

"As people we narrowly get by with our lives each day, energy from our soft, delicate actions appearing like cherry blossoms, only once, and only for a short while. 
Eventually petals fall to the ground. 

The sun beats down, wind stirs about, and I stand petrified, unable to move, astonished by the sweet colour of the blue sky that flows through the dancing petals of pink tumbling gently about me. 
The trees above sway softly in the breeze.

It happens only once and then it's over. 
But I eternally melt into that instant.

Wonderful! Bravo!
... to that one simple moment."

- 'Amrita' by Banana Yoshimoto


Life, simplified.
Magnified, immortalized.

Fleeting, transient, yet beautiful.
In our own unique ways.


Nobody said it is going to be easy; nobody said it will be a breeze; nobody said you will be loved by people you love; nobody said you will get what you set out to achieve; nobody said there won't be tears and pain; nobody said there won't be regrets and wasted time; nobody said things are invariant and immutable; nobody said you won't be disoriented at times...

yet,

nobody said it's not going to be worthwhile...


Tough as things may seem (as always),
I just want to believe that everything will eventually be worthwhile.


An ephemeral existence.
Yet, the beauty is incomparable. 

on a sidenote,
I love, love love The Killers' new album 'Battle Born'.
Loop, loop, loop!

[tough time choosing a song to embed here... too many awesome ones... finally decided on 'Here With Me'. A bittersweet ballad.]

Sis' wedding video!~*

Awesome bunch of brothers and sisters! :D
IN JERSEYS! (my first time wearing jersey haha)

OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!
It was tiring dancing it over and over! and not to mention the sudden downpour which, thankfully, only lasted for a few minutes.
Yet, everyone was still in extremely high spirits! :D

Everyone was super super on and made everything run very smoothly :)
Very, very thankful to everyone who made the whole wedding a MAJOR SUCCESS! :D
Can't wait for all the photos and full-length video to be ready! (wait for my sis and ks to be back from their honeymoon!)

Some photos of the wedding night! :)

the amazing waterfall braids!

with my fav cousins! :D

EMCEES! :D

Overall, it was such a fantastic experience with everyone that really, there's nothing to complain about! :D

I guess it goes to show how blessed ks and my sis are to have such a wonderful group of friends whom you can really rely on! :) Friends whom you can really call 'brothers' and 'sisters' :) :) :) :)

Sis' wedding~*

It's tomorrow.

May the gatecrash go smoothly (and yl not be late);
may my eyes look less swollen than they usually do early in the morning (hmm... don't think that's likely considering the fact that I still have night class tonight);
may the weather be good so outdoor photo-shoot can take place;
may we reach the hotel on time;
may Mr Z and I be confident and poised as emcees;
may my memory be good/my nervousness not overwhelm me too much/not embarrass myself;
may the whole day run smoothly!

and of course, may that day mark the beginning of a very blissful marriage. :) :) :)

Sis' bachelorette party~*

Snippets of it

My dare (thank lady luck for the very mild dare!)
Btw, my hair colour is my lightest yet :)



Venue for the night



Shots!
(I had 3 that night and remained sober. I guess the alcohol wasn't that strong after all.)

4 more days.
I can't believe it.

Revelation~*

Had two shocking revelations today.
Which changed my perspective towards her and her entirely.
In a very positive way.

I'd nearly cried over the first revelation because it's simply too.... -can't find a word for it-

You are so strong. Life has been hard on you, yet you fought back, hard. 

Then came the second revelation, which again documented the incredible mental strength that you possess...

that courage, that positivity, that optimism, that... strength


What would I have done if it were me?

Just this morning I was mulling over the issues that have been cluttering my mind for a long time...
and now, I realized how horribly short-sighted I am.
Not just short-sighted, but also very, very shallow.

I still have so much room for improvement, it's like I'm only occupying 1/100000 of the empty space.
(am I making sense?)

The bottom line is, my attitude towards life in general is shitty.

Anyway, it's time to sleep and then continue scolding myself tomorrow.

Updates~*

Stuff that people have been telling me lately:

1. I'm dyingggggg soon..... 

2. Year 4 sucks; it's INSANE.

3. How to finish so many readings?!?!?!

4. Week 3 feels like Week 8.

5. How to compete with all these SUPER ZAI people?!?! *directs eye gaze at several people in class*

6. Are you going to attend any career/grad studies talk?

7. When are you going to start job-searching?

8. Prof MIA! (AGAIN)

9. Jas, your hair is really very long!!

*A BIG BIG SIGH* 

Let me vent some frustrations that have been long suppressed within me, alright?

In summary, I'm completely overwhelmed by the demands and expectations of being an Honours student...

Well, I should have anticipated it (being a defensive pessimist) but well... it turned out to be more exhausting and taxing than I had imagined. 

And not to mention my ongoing struggles with thesis... 

Is it because of self-imposed expectations...?

or, is my inferiority complex acting up now...?

Or, maybe I'm just worrying about too many things simultaneously.

While I really really want to try to have a more positive outlook towards life, 

(I pushed all the novels that have rather depressing and dark themes into a corner of my desk - yes, that includes my new novel of short stories selection by Murakami Haruki (thanks tako!))

it's really not easy. 

So... when the going gets tough, 

you know it'll probably get tougher.

But at least I know I have a group of awesome psych mates whom I can rely on for the much needed support and encouragement. 

We're all in this together and we'll all make it through. 

Somehow.

Hang in there!

On a sidenote, 

my hair is really very long (the back of my hair touches my waist). 

and who knows, I might be dyeing it. (an attempt to try and look younger)

anyway, I'm reading lots of novels by Banana Yoshimoto and they are simply very heartfelt...

If Murakami Haruki portrays the dark side of human nature, then perhaps, Yoshimoto portrays the positive side.  

She uses simple words, simple storylines... but nevertheless, she crafts such exquisite stories that well, really makes you feel a whole mixture of emotions deep inside. 

You know, the warm fuzzy feeling when you curl up in your bed in a cold rainy morning?

I don't know, but she lets me feel human again.


There are just so many things about myself that I really want to change...
but first, I need to change that bloody mindset of mine.


One of my favourite songs that I always listen to when I feel that I'm about to snap...
I can't be 100% sure what this song is about (given my extremely limited understanding of Japanese), but piecing words together from here and there kind of give me a rough idea.

"I may be weak, but I will not admit defeat"