Saturday, June 16, 2012

A mess~*

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Headache, headache, headache, headache.

Decided to take a breather from working on my thesis proposal (which apparently is an entangled mess of concepts, ideas and hypotheses... an absolute horror that I can't even bear to look at...)

Maybe it's because I'm placing all hopes on this proposal.
Maybe it's because deep down, I know my heart can't take that painful rejection.
Maybe... I'm just hinging my fragile self-esteem on this nightmarish proposal.

Whatever it is, it looks bad.
And judging from the amount of time I have left before submission, I'm pretty much doomed...

I guess I really need to get my thoughts back together and F O C U S.
Woke up at an ungodly hour to work on it (my thinking is more lucid in the morning) and after a few hours of mind-boggling research, I want to raise a white flag.


This reminds me of stuff about people.
the deeper you delve into them, the more confusing and disconnected things become.
and soon, you'll wonder if you know that person at all.


It's not even noon yet.
But I already feel utterly drained and exhausted, as if an entire day has passed.


something random,
whenever I listen to the praises from the teachers and principal at the childcare centre, I don't know how to react.
to them, I am like ______.
but to me, I am like ______.
that's when I realize I am one well-guarded castle and hardly anyone has access to the deepest corner of it.

anyway, the principal and I both share immense joy from reading Torey Hayden. :)


another random thing,
I still need to master the art of handling social situations.
I may appear calm, composed and friendly, I am actually screaming inside.


OKAY. BACK TO WORK.

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