Showing posts with label Beauty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Beauty. Show all posts
Possible Black Widow Operating in New Never City
by Shannon Lawrence
Crime Beat, New never News
Police believe a black widow may be stalking the wealthy men of New Never City. Readers may recall the death of famed local wrestler, John “The Beast” Breckner, six months ago. At that time, police felt his death was accidental, but new evidence has come to light that indicates cold-blooded murder.
In addition, a charming prince's untimely death four years ago in Cin City is now believed to be related, as a single red rose was found at both crime scenes.
Detective Nosy, cousin to the seven dwarfs, warns the men of New Never City to be on the lookout for Beauty aka Belle aka Bonita. She is considered enchanting and dangerous. Use caution when approaching her and do not propose! Report any sightings immediately.
Crime Beat, New never News
Police believe a black widow may be stalking the wealthy men of New Never City. Readers may recall the death of famed local wrestler, John “The Beast” Breckner, six months ago. At that time, police felt his death was accidental, but new evidence has come to light that indicates cold-blooded murder.
In addition, a charming prince's untimely death four years ago in Cin City is now believed to be related, as a single red rose was found at both crime scenes.
Detective Nosy, cousin to the seven dwarfs, warns the men of New Never City to be on the lookout for Beauty aka Belle aka Bonita. She is considered enchanting and dangerous. Use caution when approaching her and do not propose! Report any sightings immediately.
Beast Dumps Beauty for Bridget
By j.a. kazimer
Dating New Never News
In a surprise move, longtime beau, Beast, has dumped his girlfriend of five years for a woman known only as Bridget. Sources close to the couple say the breakup was a longtime in coming.
The couple is best known for their elaborate breakups including a 2008 incident in which a teacup called Chip received several fractures. This latest breakup comes after FMZ reported Beauty's alleged affair with her Beauty & The Birkenstock co-star, Jack. The affair apparently stated after Jack saved Beauty from choking on a magic bean.
Beauty Beats Beast
By j.a. kazimer
Political Beat New Never News
Political insiders are astounded by today's election results as Beauty is declared the President of New Never City after defeating Beast in a landslide victor.
"You like me. You really, really like me," Beauty cried in her acceptance speech.
Beast couldn't be reached for comment, but his right-handed henchman demanded a recount. Voters will remember this campaign as one of the costliest and most negative elections in a land far, far away.
Political Beat New Never News
Political insiders are astounded by today's election results as Beauty is declared the President of New Never City after defeating Beast in a landslide victor.
"You like me. You really, really like me," Beauty cried in her acceptance speech.
Beast couldn't be reached for comment, but his right-handed henchman demanded a recount. Voters will remember this campaign as one of the costliest and most negative elections in a land far, far away.
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