Good news is that scientists think that whale genes could help us live to 200 years old.
Bad news is you have to eat plankton and krill.
Showing posts with label snark. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snark. Show all posts
Monday, January 05, 2015
Friday, January 17, 2014
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Well, You Could Sell Them At Sporting Events, I Suppose
"Golf balls, lighters and action figures: Staggering rubbish found in albatross chicks' stomachs."
And, of course, those things not being part of the Albatross's diet, it's killing them. But hey! It might provide employment for some poor woman:
And, of course, those things not being part of the Albatross's diet, it's killing them. But hey! It might provide employment for some poor woman:
Thursday, December 05, 2013
What Every Single Woman Needs
"Scrotal Sack" handbag.
Married women, of course, already have a similar handbag, courtesy of their husbands.
Married women, of course, already have a similar handbag, courtesy of their husbands.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
How You Know You're In the 21st Century
"Finally, a police robot entered the home and told him to surrender."
How you know you're in the United States of America:
"Then the police robot shot and killed the family dog."*
*Just kidding.
How you know you're in the United States of America:
"Then the police robot shot and killed the family dog."*
*Just kidding.
Thursday, October 03, 2013
Seen On Drudge
That's one-upmanship, certainly. In the Gospel of St. John, Peter only denied Jesus three times.
Friday, July 26, 2013
"Goddamnit," He Was Heard To Mutter
Not really.
Ever seen a Pope on a windy day? Looks like this:
Pope Francis Gets Blown In Rio de Janeiro
Ever seen a Pope on a windy day? Looks like this:
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Was a Douche Involved, Too?
The pilot of Asiana Flight 214 that crashed in San Francisco is claiming that he was blinded by the light.
Federal crash investigators revealed Wednesday that the pilot flying Asiana Airlines flight 214 told them that he was temporarily blinded by a bright light when 500 feet above the ground.
Federal crash investigators revealed Wednesday that the pilot flying Asiana Airlines flight 214 told them that he was temporarily blinded by a bright light when 500 feet above the ground.
Tuesday, July 09, 2013
Seen On Drudge
Not to put too fine a point on it, but I wonder if the jellyfish have applied for EBT cards and registered to vote as Democrats?
Friday, June 21, 2013
Good Intentions, Anyway
That would be the gunman who opened fire in a law practice and then a Wal-Mart.
Lawyers and Wal-Mart patrons. Good way to start thinning the herd.
Lawyers and Wal-Mart patrons. Good way to start thinning the herd.
Monday, May 13, 2013
George Will Snarks On Benghazi
Not a movie review:
“This is a very live issue because we now know three things. We know that Mr. [Gregory] Hicks, the night of the attack speaking from Libya, said pretty much what it was: an armed insurrection, not a movie review conducted with rocket-propelled grenades and mortars,” Will said.
“Five days later on this program and on four other Sunday morning programs, the idea of an exceptionally boisterous movie review was still the administration’s position.”
“And then 14 days after the attack, at the U.N., it was the same thing,” Will continued.
“We started out with three arguments. Was security lax in Benghazi? Demonstrably. Could forces have been got there to rescue them? Doubtful. Has the nation been systemically misled? Certainly. Now, we need a select committee in Congress because the State Department’s misnamed accountability review board neglected to interview even the secretary of state.”
“This is a very live issue because we now know three things. We know that Mr. [Gregory] Hicks, the night of the attack speaking from Libya, said pretty much what it was: an armed insurrection, not a movie review conducted with rocket-propelled grenades and mortars,” Will said.
“Five days later on this program and on four other Sunday morning programs, the idea of an exceptionally boisterous movie review was still the administration’s position.”
“And then 14 days after the attack, at the U.N., it was the same thing,” Will continued.
“We started out with three arguments. Was security lax in Benghazi? Demonstrably. Could forces have been got there to rescue them? Doubtful. Has the nation been systemically misled? Certainly. Now, we need a select committee in Congress because the State Department’s misnamed accountability review board neglected to interview even the secretary of state.”
Wednesday, May 08, 2013
What You Can Miss By Not Being On Twitter
After Mark Sanford won the SC-1 Congressional district race yesterday evening, Meghan McCain, the daughter of US Senator John McCain, tweeted on the race, and that grandmaster of snark, Iowahawk, noticed:
That right there is the Bikini Atoll Hydrogen Bomb of snark, folks.
That right there is the Bikini Atoll Hydrogen Bomb of snark, folks.
Tuesday, April 02, 2013
Good News, Bad News
"Good News: The FDA Says It Won't Kill You to Chew Nicotine Gum and Smoke a Cigarette At the Same Time."
Bad news: only one person in six is coordinated enough to pull it off.
Bad news: only one person in six is coordinated enough to pull it off.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Snarky Blogger Fired For Snarky Blog
No, not Tam. Not me, either.
A barista with a philosophy degree (and ain't that a nouveau stereotype?) gets himself canned from his job for criticising the customers (and his employer) on his blog.
One wonders if he took his firing...philosophically?
A barista with a philosophy degree (and ain't that a nouveau stereotype?) gets himself canned from his job for criticising the customers (and his employer) on his blog.
One wonders if he took his firing...philosophically?
Friday, August 24, 2012
And Yet Another Modest Proposal
Since there are at least 1,544,634 felons in the USA but only 960,000 farmers, I propose that the Future Farmers of America be renamed the Future Felons of America, and instead of the FFA's blue corduroy jacket, that Future Felons be issued orange jailhouse jumpsuits.
Future Felons, instead of going on field trips to farms and ranches, could instead go to the local state prison to learn crime tips first hand - - often from their very own daddies!
And, while I'm thinking about it, might as well rename the Future Homemakers of America, as well. Again, we'll just keep the same initials, and call them the Future Ho's of America.
Jonathan Swift ain't got nothin' on me.
Future Felons, instead of going on field trips to farms and ranches, could instead go to the local state prison to learn crime tips first hand - - often from their very own daddies!
And, while I'm thinking about it, might as well rename the Future Homemakers of America, as well. Again, we'll just keep the same initials, and call them the Future Ho's of America.
Jonathan Swift ain't got nothin' on me.
Some Mighty Fine Snark, There
John Lilyea over at This Ain't Hell brings it regarding the Usual Suspects working overtime in Chicago:
General Allen called to tell us that those shootings happened because of Ramadan and the resulting Eid al-Fitr celebration, despite the fact that probably none of the victims or shooters are Muslims. Allen went on to say that folks in Chicago need to drink more water to prevent further shootings. Sgt. Maj. of the Army Raymond F. Chandler III could be heard in the background blaming tattoos for the shootings.
Afghan President Hamad Karzai emailed to tell us that it was probably because of Canadian intelligence officers who have been infiltrating Chicago.
General Allen called to tell us that those shootings happened because of Ramadan and the resulting Eid al-Fitr celebration, despite the fact that probably none of the victims or shooters are Muslims. Allen went on to say that folks in Chicago need to drink more water to prevent further shootings. Sgt. Maj. of the Army Raymond F. Chandler III could be heard in the background blaming tattoos for the shootings.
Afghan President Hamad Karzai emailed to tell us that it was probably because of Canadian intelligence officers who have been infiltrating Chicago.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Fear the Fork!
Over at Shermlock's place, he mentions a recent Obama dinner event at which guest's silverware was confiscated for security reasons.
They're not confiscating forks for security reasons; it's 'cause they don't want someone poking Obama with one to see if he's done.
They're not confiscating forks for security reasons; it's 'cause they don't want someone poking Obama with one to see if he's done.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Best. Blog. Title. Ever.
In a story about Venezuelan President Hugo Chavéz requiring radiation therapy for cancer, Weasel Zippers used this blog post title:
Chestnuts Roasting: Six Weeks of Radiation For Hugo Chavéz.
That right there is what you call world-class snark, friends and neighbors.
Chestnuts Roasting: Six Weeks of Radiation For Hugo Chavéz.
That right there is what you call world-class snark, friends and neighbors.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Quote of the Day
Over at Tam's:
Uh, waiter? I ordered the cool Star Trek future and you seem to have brought me the dystopian one from Heinlein's Crazy Years instead...
That's why Tam is the Queen of Snark, folks.
Uh, waiter? I ordered the cool Star Trek future and you seem to have brought me the dystopian one from Heinlein's Crazy Years instead...
That's why Tam is the Queen of Snark, folks.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Yer NC LOL of the Day
The Republicans send Valentines to the Obama Administration.
Here's the one for North Carolina:
They're all pretty snarky. Attorney General Holder, of course, professes not to know of any Valentines crossing his desk. Some are a bit "inside Washington," for instance the Dennis Kucinich Valentine: most Americans aren't all that familiar with Kucinich, and don't realize he's not much taller than a hobbit, although he looks more like an Orc, if you're going to speak in Lord of the Rings terms.
Funny stuff.
Via Instapundit.
Here's the one for North Carolina:
They're all pretty snarky. Attorney General Holder, of course, professes not to know of any Valentines crossing his desk. Some are a bit "inside Washington," for instance the Dennis Kucinich Valentine: most Americans aren't all that familiar with Kucinich, and don't realize he's not much taller than a hobbit, although he looks more like an Orc, if you're going to speak in Lord of the Rings terms.
Funny stuff.
Via Instapundit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
