Grapefruit Prank Phone Call I Did. Philly Sheraton Hotel.

Man I wish I had recorded some of my classic prank phone calls that I used to make with friends back in the day. I'd be rich I tells ya!

My friends and I would gather around a table and put the phone on speaker and go to town. Here's one call I made at 3:30 in the morning to a hotel in Philly...

Hotel Desk: Sheraton Philadelphia may I help you?

Me: Yes Room 212 please.

Room 212: (Groggy) Hello?

Me: (Super cheerful) Hello there sir this is the front desk and I just wanted to say good morning and remind you that we have a complimentary grapefruit waiting for you down here.

Room 212: (Pause) Are you kidding me? ....It's 3:30 in the morning.

Me: No sir. The grapefruits are free for all of our guests. Are you coming down?

Room 212: Why are you calling me now?

Me: Because of the grapefruit.

Phone hangs up. I dial number again and get put through to the room.

Room 212: Hello???

Me: Well I will tell you one thing. This grapefruit isn't going to eat itself. That would be impossible. Do you even LIKE grapefruit sir?

Room 212: IT'S 3:30 IN THE FUCKING MORNING!

Me: No better time for grapefruit. Right?

Click.

Hysterical Post Halloween Video. Candy.

Dominica aka @MrsMushiMushi tweeted this to me. Hysterical. Especially the last kid.

What the Heck? Hair Dryer Prank.

What the heck?



Hair dryer prank.

Downingtown Farmers Market And Robot Hoax. Early Computers.

So Internet searcher - did you find this blog post because you had a bet with a friend that you were talking to a robot in the 80's at the Downingtown Farmers Market?

Well I've got some bad new for you. Calm down and have a seat.

..Let me explain this to my regular blog readers first. You see blog readers - years ago as I mentioned I worked at an audio store at the Downingtown Farmers Market. And we had a cheap version of a Mr Microphone.

Knowing the crap we were selling, it was probably called "Mizz Mikey" or "Mr Mike Talk" - because we sold mostly bootleg junk.

So we used to get really bored. And the owner didn't care if we drank beer while we worked so we were constantly screwing with people for the hell of it and to amuse ourselves. So we would take turns hiding behind the counter with the Mr Microphone bootleg device and screw with all of the hillbillies:

Me: (talking in robot voice) Attention Downingtown Farmers Market shoppers. My name is the Zarcon 5000 and I am a very advanced robot computer from Japan.

(hillbillies crowd into the store in amazement)

Hillbilly: OH MY GOD. What's going on?

Me: I see you. I'm a robot. By the way, I like that red, white and blue wolf t-shirt you are wearing.

Hillbilly: (looks down at his shirt) Oh my God! How can you see me?

Me: (remember -I'm still talking in robot voice) Look up at the large mirror. That is my electronical eye. I see all. Welcome to the Downingtown Farmers Market. And who is the snapping youngster next to you that is eating a funnel cake?

Hillbilly Kid: HE'S TALKING TO ME NOW!!!!

We would do this all night. Sometimes we would ask people to give us a math problem and we'd have a calculator behind the counter and tell them the answer. As if they really knew what 1034 times 345 was. But we'd tell them anyway.

One time I felt kind of bad because I was telling this 10 year old kid to stand on one foot, tap dance and imitate a chicken. Then his dad came up and grabbed him by the arm, "What the hell are you doing making an ass out of yourself?"

"No dad -it's a talking robot. It's the Zarcon 5000!"

The dad just looked at him and pulled him out of the store.

God I wish I had recorded those sessions.

So I guess what I'm trying to say to the hillbillies that fell for this and they went online to prove to their friends that they talked to an early robot in Downingtown ?....I'm afraid you just lost yourself a bet. Now hand over the jar of jam or the pocket knife or whatever it was that you lost in the bet. And from now on.....use your head. Don't believe everything you see.

Exton Howard Johnson Circa 1980. Throw Up Prank.

There used to be a Howard Johnson Restaurant in Exton PA years ago. My friend Jim was a dishwasher there in 9th grade. Here's the conversation we had one time:

Me: So how do you like working at HoJo's?

Jim: It sucks. I was working today and the manager said, "Someone threw up. Go clean it up". So It walk out there all pissed off and I saw it. I started to sweep some of it into the dustpan and it was of those rubber gag throw ups you get at Spencer's. I look up and this table of Seniors is looking and laughing at me. Fuckin' assholes.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Jim: You're an asshole.

Me: What??????

And now, enjoy this Howard Johnson clip:

I've Been Outed By Technology Damn It!

..well, kind of. H from the blog It's Always Darkest Before I Open My Eyes, added a Snapvine feature to her blog. I called and left a prank phone call but didn't realize I'd be outed by my THAT BLUE YAK avatar. Oh well. I also left one on Whiskey Marie's without knowing.

And if you look on my sidebar, I've added a Snapvine gadget as well so please leave me some voice messages. Make sure to listen to the prompts at the end because you can edit your messages after you get all nervous and screw up the first few times.

Maybe I'll have a contest later asking people to do various imitations on the Snapvine recorder...yeah...I'm totally gonna do that. Or sing or something. Yeah. Maybe that too.

You can add the Snapvine voice command to your sidebar in less than five minutes so you might as well do it. Imagine the possibility of getting a message from me? Yup. The future is here. Today. Now excuse me while I call my butler to whip me up a batch of refreshing Tang.

Halloween Prank Gone Wrong - The Video

Note to self: play it safe when doing Halloween pranks by getting somebody else to hide in the trash can. To understand, click here.

QVC Doorbell Prank Phone Call Endorsed By Blogger

When people think of West Chester based media powerhouses they think of two organizations -That Blue Yak and QVC. Do the two get along? Absolutely not. But that's a story for another day as the Eagles game starts in 10 minutes.

Since there is a QVC/That Blue Yak feud going on, I have no problem showing this video I found that shows a caller doing a great prank call to QVC. The product - the Tabletop Doorbell Kit.

Who's The Birthday Boy That Looks Taller On August 26?...

It's August 26. Do you know who's birthday it is? Ernest Borgnine? Nope - guess again. Ramesses II? Not even close. Do you give up? OK I'll tell you. Chris Burke was born today. I know....... you can't MAKE this stuff up but it's true. He was the young lad that played the retarded fellow in the show Life Goes On. It's one of those shows like I Dream of Genie or the Munsters, that once you buy into the concept, you're hooked. Imagine. A retarded person, walking around. Uncaged. Strolling through town and bouncing a ball with one hand. I wish I were a fly on the wall when that show was being pitched.

According to Wikipedia Britannica, after graduating high school, Chris got a job as an elevator operator. I shit you not. Could you imagine? You're done your exhausting day, your boss was yelling at you, it's hot as hell and the elevator door opens. You step in.

Chris: Hi Dr. Zibbs same number floor as everyday or do you want me to push another number today?

Zibbs: (stone faced) No Chris. Same floor. Ground.

Chris: That's the "G". It's all numbers then it goes "G" for ground "B" for basement.

Zibbs: Yup.

Chris: (cleverly discovering concept on his own) I wish they had a "D" for Disneyland. Do YOU wish they had a "D" for Disneyland?

Zibbs: (half listening) Yup.

Chris: I asked Miss Kathy if I could write the "D" on the elevators' buttons but she said it's graffiti. But if I could, then we could go to Disneyland. Right Dr. Zibbs?

Zibbs: (starting to steam) Yeah Chris.

Chris: What rides would we go on if there was a "D" and we hit it?

Zibbs: Uhh. Ground.

Chris: No that's not a ride.

Zibbs: (patience lost) No that is a ride Chris.

Chris: Then it must be a new one because I was there one time. Is the ground ride near the Magic Kingdom or the Epcot Center or the Sea World?

Zibbs: It's in a whole new area of the park, I forget the name of it but why don't you use this elevator phone and dial "M". It's a direct hot line to Mickey. You can ask him.

Chris: Because Miss Kathy said to only use that phone if there's a fire.

Zibbs: No. I just saw her. She said she wanted me to tell you to call Mickey...And that there's a fire.

Chris: She did? OK.

Now this is where it gets complicated because you have two options, turn around and mouth the voice of Mickey as he talks OR have a friend rig up the phone so the friend can talk from a hidden room as Mickey. It's a tough call. With faking the voice while turning around, he's probably going to know it's you. If you rig the phone, you've got to buy all that radio shack shit and get into all of the zoning and safety issues.... Who knows, he may be of legal age but in retarded years he's not - so depending on what state you're in you need the parental permission forms....

Forget it. If you want to waste your day doing this, I'll give you the idea. For free. Run with it. While you work through those complicated logistics. I'm going to spend my valuable Chris Burke birthday time calling him up and pretending I'm a monster.