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Keep Moving Forward. I AM
Ij, Cj, Nus. God, Family, Friends. "Lord, I choose not to be downcast, I choose not to be disturbed, I choose to put my hope in You." - Psalm 42:11 Listen
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whoopass chilli fries. Sunday, March 29, 2009 Whoopass Chilli Fries  Took me 4 meals in 3 days to finish this. Omg. (P.S. So not concentrating on papers! *faints*) and I'm chasing papers again.. and I'm chasing papers again.. Just a few signs of being tired and stressed again, due to pressing deadlines. I thought they were quite funny :P 1) I just brushed my teeth. Yes, it is now midday. I was going to the loo before heading to my room to write my paper. Unconsciously, I brushed my teeth. I didn't even realise that I did until I was in my room and found my mouth to be rather minty :P Man.. it was a strange, yet somewhat logical action - my unconscious desire to sleep, ROFL. 2) I'm starting to dream again. I know it's not that bad yet though - I haven't remembered any, lol. 3) My pronunciation is going out the window. and I think I'm inverting words again *faints* 4) My sense of dark humour. I laughed when I saw this toddler in church running about and hitting his head on the pew. C'mon.. it's not maternal instinct or whatnot.. just that kids are really damn funny. Their whole lack of control. If he just looks stunned, the expression is priceless. If he cries, then ok lah.. it hurts (can't deny lah ha.) and if he's still super happy running about.. well.. nothing's gonna bring him down, HAHA :P (give credit for that, rofl.) 5) I'm watching Chinese shows (YES I AM!!) Ok lah, that's partially due to the fact that grandma's here and that Mum & Dad subscribed to 4 chinese channels for her. I was watching this movie called "Marigold" (literal translation). Super old show, but their expressions and actions are hilarious. Watching 9pm show.. housewives on holiday or something like that.. last episode next tues! :P 6) The cheap thrill of being kaypoh Yesterday only grandma, my maid and I were at home. I asked grandma if she wanted to do Earth hour. Which we did, rofl! :P but you know what.. I think we were more motivated to see who was else doing participating too, LOL!! so after switching off the lights, I ran out to the garden to see if my neighbours had switched off the lights. Grandma eagerly asked, "Well?? Are they off??" The houses along my street were still lit lah.. no fun. chey. Bro and mei came home at 9pm. Mei was amused, while bro declared it was "by far the stupidest thing you have ever done LY!!!" I think.. even if I didn't believe in climate change (which by the way, i'm impartial to).. for my brother's reaction, I'll do it all over again :P 7) Just because I don't like ending with 6, HAHA :P a graceless society. Wednesday, March 25, 2009 A graceless society. I cannot believe it. It is a graceless society (wing, you're right.) I attended Social Work lecture today. First time in a while. Today's topic was on gambling, and it was boring (I fell asleep.) The only purpose I went was to get information about our presentation. The lecturer did reveal it in the end - out of 3 weeks, we were the last. Fine. I couldn't wait to bounce off and go home. Then, this girl spoke. Her group's presenting first. "Can we make the deadline earlier? Like, can everyone pass up the powerpoints and reports in the first week? It's not fair to us who have to present by the first week." Omg. I couldn't believe this. Like.. WTH??? Come on! You don't have to be that freakin' competitive! It's a freaking General Elective, for crying out loud! The lecturer then decided to hold a vote. I was so pissed, I didn't even wanna participate in the whole stupid thing. Best part is, half of the lect voted for 1st week. My god. In the end, some other girl suggested compromise. We all pass up by 2nd week. Fine. I wanna go home. Enough of this bullshit. Then this same first-week-presentation girl then goes, " what if other groups see our presentation, then they go back and make theirs better?" My first thought was: "What makes you think we wanna copy your freakin' presentation? you think yours is that great?" Thank God the lecturer said "I don't think so." and dismissed the rest of us. I would have flipped. Or gone into a rampage. I couldn't believe it. In a social work module, of all things. What happened? Have we become so over-crazed over results and competition, that we just become so petty? What's the big deal? I can understand if you want to push the deadline back because it gives you more time to finish your project, but the reason given is really out to hinder everyone else. Have people become so selfish? It is really a classic case of "Me first. To my benefit. and by the way, screw those in my way." I really think our values are eroding. Giving way to pragmatism , economic benefit, getting ahead, individualism. Where people forget to be humane. I'm so angry. It is a graceless society. and God, I have to learn how to speak up and hesitate less. I don't think my character can take me keeping mum anymore. Just Stand Up! (: Friday, March 20, 2009 Just Stand Up! (: Sung by: Mariah Carey, Mary J. Blige, Beyonce Knowles, Ashanti, Keyshia Cole, Ciara, Miley Cyrus, Fergie, Rihanna, Leona Lewis, Natasha Bedingfield, Sheryl Crow, Melissa Etheridge, LeAnn Rimes and Carrie Underwood Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_Stand_Up Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfbxxd01mzk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWJcboLfwhs Everything'll be alright again Alright again, alright again.. The heart is stronger than you think, It’s like it can go through anything And even when you think it can’t It finds a way to still push on, though Sometimes you want to run away, Ain’t got the patience for the pain And if you don’t believe it look into your heart, The beat goes on I’m tellin’ you that, Things get better, Through whatever If you fall, dust it off, don’t let up Don’t you know you can go be your own miracle You need to know CHORUS If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough, But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what Don’t give up…through it all, just stand up! It’s like we all have better days Problems getting all up in your face Just because you go through it Don’t mean it got to take control, no You ain’t gotta find no hiding place Because the heart can beat the hate Don’t wanna let your mind keep playin’ you And sayin’ you can’t go on I’m tellin’ you that things get better, through whatever If you fall, dust if off, don’t let up Don’t you know you can go be your own miracle You need to know Ensemble: CHORUS You don’t gotta be a prisoner in your mind If you fall, dust it off You can live your life Yeah, Let your heart be your guide Yeah yeah yeah And you will know that you’re good if you trust in the good Everything will be alright, yeah Light up the dark, if you follow your heart And it will get better, through whatever CHORUS You got it in you, find it within You got in now, find it within now You got in you, find it within You got in now, find it within now You got in you, find it within You got in now, find it within now Find it within you, find it within Through it all, just stand up dreams, movies & happiness. Wednesday, March 11, 2009 dreams, movies & happiness. Pluggin' into: Release me by Mae I realised the more tired I am, the more dreams I have. and they're all quite crazy, especially about people I haven't met in a while. I dreamt last night that I was supposed to meet a friend, entered a club without knowing that had toilets demarcated by language, where the English-speaking one was a small room packed with people waiting (I got scolded for jumping queue), and the Chinese one was huge and even had a cafe inside. I met my ex-Sec classmates inside, then suddenly Sophie (who I haven't seen/spoken to for eons) appears with a baby. Then it seems that later on, I was taking care of someone's baby, who happened to look a lot like Zac (the cute kiddo Liv babysat the last time). Thank God he was so cute. Suddenly, there's a change of scenery, where there was this Japanese woman walking the streets calling out a name. And somehow, by following me, I led her to the place where her friend was waiting. I think the fact I remember it so vividly is quite scary too. Mum said it's because my mind's still active. No shit manz. My previous dreams consisted of mum pregnant and giving birth to a baby girl with the longest hair ever; I being pregnant but looking/feeling nothing like it despite being in the final month and yet somehow, I was going to get a class reunion gathering photo taken; I getting lost in Japan and pulling a prison break stunt at the back of Japanese museums.. it's getting more and more bizzare. I keep mixing up the times too. (i blame you char :P) Yesterday, I thought we were leaving at 11am, and rushed to get ready. Then I saw my brother casually taking him time, which struck me - we're only leaving at 12pm. Today, I got up and Mum asked me when's school. I replied 10am, when it's 12pm. Maybe it just has to do with noon, HAHA. I'm tired. I had 6 hours sleep, but I feel like I've had half of that time - my body's still aching and my mind's going "ugh..". My mind is full of the schoolwork that needs to be done. Assignments, tutorials, readings. I think I prolly have time, but somehow I've locked it in my mind that I don't. I don't dare watch charmed/ friends series for now, for fear I won't stop. can't stop. On the bright side, bro bought me a new wallet. My belated 21st bday present. Looking at it really makes me smile (: He's officially my favourite person of the year! :D I need a break. I need a movie. MARLEY AND ME!!! :) I also am thinking of Watchmen, Slumdog Millionaire, Departures, Push, SuspectX, Last Chance Harvey, Role Models, The Pink Panther 2 (i'm supposed to watch with mei). What's coming up are Race to witch mountain (which sounds ridiculous, but it has the Rock), Panda Diary!!!, Detroit Metal City, Hotel for Dogs, The Tale of Despereaux, Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li, Fanboys!, Shinjuku Incident, Fast & Furious, Handsome Suit. As you can tell, I've been at www.gv.com.sg. and yes, I've been deprived of movies. At tutorial ystdy, we were talking about movies. Damn, I wish I watched Changeling. and I can't believe that Jonas Brothers has a 3D film. Ewwww. Shall tell my sister and see her expression :P I read Life! this morning. I feel like.. I think to a certain extent, movie-makers are getting lazy. They're making movies based on books and anime. What happened to the good old original script? OK, on one hand, some movies based on books and anime are really good and did a fantastic job (like Deathnote and Marley & Me, apparently ;)). Others are just terrible! Like, c'mon.. you don't even have your own original story and use someone else's, and still you screw it up? I think that's really horrifying. Life! said Dragonball Evolution sucked. and while I don't think Life!'s reviews are dependable at all.. looking at the movie.. it does look quite bad. Worst movie still has to go to Twilight. That was really bad. Nights in Rhodante wasn't that great either. Sorry that I'm rambling. Still, it is cathartic to just ramble. I've still a reading to do, but I don't feel like bothering. I've an hour before I have to go to school. Most of all. I wish my friends, especially my close ones, are happy. I really do. As I said before.. you happy, makes me happy. Remember your own happiness. It may sound simple, but I truly believe it's the most important thing of all. here comes the sun! Saturday, March 07, 2009 Here comes the sun! :D Haha, what an apt song :P I love the weather now, after all those downpours. Sunny, yet cool. and yes.. I do still close my eyes and give a full-fledged grin to the sun. I can't help it - it just really cheers me up :) Here comes the sun by the Beatles Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and I say it's all right Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and I say it's all right Sun, sun, sun, here it comes... Sun, sun, sun, here it comes... Sun, sun, sun, here it comes... Sun, sun, sun, here it comes... Sun, sun, sun, here it comes... Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right It's all right. (: Screwtape love letters :P Sunday, March 01, 2009 Screwtape love letters :P Pluggin' into: Mr Brightside by The Killers Just watched a play based on C.S. Lewis's book called Screwtape letters. I'm gonna look for it when I'm free :) Anywayz, here's a little abstract - Joy, Fun, Joke and Flippancy. Interesting read (: My dear Wormwood, Everything is clearly going very well. Am specially glad to hear that the two new friends have now made him acquainted with their whole set. All these, as I find from the record office, are thoroughly reliable people; steady, consistent scoffers and worldlings who without any spectacular crimes are progressing quietly and comfortably towards our Father's house. You speak of their being great laughers. I trust this does not mean that you are under the impression that laughter as such is always in our favour. The point is worth some attention. I divide the causes of human laughter into Joy, Fun, the Joke Proper, and Flippancy. You will see the first among friends and lovers reunited on the eve of a holiday. Among adults some pretext in the way of Jokes is usually provided, but the facility with which the smallest witticisms produce laughter at such a time shows that they are not the real cause. What that real cause is we do not know. Something like it is expressed in much of that detestable art which the humans call Music, and something like it occurs in Heaven—a meaningless acceleration in the rhythm of celestial experience, quite opaque to us. Laughter of this kind does us no good and should always be discouraged. Besides, the phenomenon is of itself disgusting and a direct insult to the realism, dignity, and austerity of Hell. Fun is closely related to Joy—a sort of emotional froth arising from the play instinct. It is very little use to us. It can sometimes be used, of course, to divert humans from something else which the Enemy would like them to be feeling or doing: but in itself it has wholly undesirable tendencies; it promotes charity, courage, contentment, and many other evils. The Joke Proper, which turns on sudden perception of incongruity, is a much more promising field. I am not thinking primarily of indecent or bawdy humour, which, though much relied upon by second-rate tempters, is often disappointing in its results. The truth is that humans are pretty clearly divided on this matter into two classes. There are some to whom "no passion is as serious as lust" and for whom an indecent story ceases to produce lasciviousness precisely in so far as it becomes funny: there are others in whom laughter and lust are excited at the same moment and by the same things. The first sort joke about sex because it gives rise to many incongruities: the second cultivate incongruities because they afford a pretext for talking about sex. If your man is of the first type, bawdy humour will not help you—I shall never forget the hours which I wasted (hours to me of unbearable tedium) with one of my early patients in bars and smoking-rooms before I learned this rule. Find out which group the patient belongs to—and see that he does not find out. The real use of Jokes or Humour is in quite a different direction, and it is specially promising among the English who take their "sense of humour" so seriously that a deficiency in this sense is almost the only deficiency at which they feel shame. Humour is for them the all-consoling and (mark this) the all-excusing, grace of life. Hence it is invaluable as a means of destroying shame. If a man simply lets others pay for him, he is "mean"; if he boasts of it in a jocular manner and twits his fellows with having been scored off, he is no longer "mean" but a comical fellow. Mere cowardice is shameful; cowardice boasted of with humorous exaggerations and grotesque gestures can passed off as funny. Cruelty is shameful—unless the cruel man can represent it as a practical joke. A thousand bawdy, or even blasphemous, jokes do not help towards a man's damnation so much as his discovery that almost anything he wants to do can be done, not only without the disapproval but with the admiration of his fellows, if only it can get itself treated as a Joke. And this temptation can be almost entirely hidden from your patient by that English seriousness about Humour. Any suggestion that there might be too much of it can be represented to him as "Puritanical" or as betraying a "lack of humour". But flippancy is the best of all. In the first place it is very economical. Only a clever human can make a real Joke about virtue, or indeed about anything else; any of them can be trained to talk as if virtue were funny. Among flippant people the Joke is always assumed to have been made. No one actually makes it; but every serious subject is discussed in a manner which implies that they have already found a ridiculous side to it. If prolonged, the habit of Flippancy builds up around a man the finest armour-plating against the Enemy that I know, and it is quite free from the dangers inherent in the other sources of laughter. It is a thousand miles away from joy it deadens, instead of sharpening, the intellect; and it excites no affection between those who practice it, Your affectionate uncle Screwtape | |