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Keep Moving Forward. I AM
Ij, Cj, Nus. God, Family, Friends. "Lord, I choose not to be downcast, I choose not to be disturbed, I choose to put my hope in You." - Psalm 42:11 Listen
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so let's talk about God. Wednesday, July 30, 2008 so let's talk about God. Pluggin' into: All you need is Love by Lynden David Hall Today, Josephine flew off to Korea for her exchange programme. I'm gonna miss her. After sending her off at the airport, Vincent and I decided to go to Alex's place, just to chill and hang out. We had a rather insightful conversation, while sipping experimental cocktails which we have aptly named 'the Gardener' (ingredients were Absolut Vodaka Kurant, lemon barley, brown sugar, lime and basil leaves. It turned out quite pleasant, if the vodka is poured in the right proportions :P) and the topic of God came up. and I must say.. I'm very impressed with my godbro :) This is what he told us he presented, during a section of the CJC retreat called "Who am I?" "God is love. Hence, I am made from love, for love. and ultimately, I am made not only to be the embodiment of love, but to be part of love." It was really a WOW! moment for me. How beautifully described. and this was what entered his mind after praying about his retreat. It is really God calling. We went on to the topic of spiritual drought, where I asked them.. what is spiritual drought anyway? I heard a lot of people mentioning about it, and as such I am sympathetic. However, thinking about it.. to me, it seemed so.. intangible. The two guys then gave me their points of views. About how it is a downward spiral, where you feel that there's no difference between a Christian and a non-Christian, where you don't feel God, and where you don't feel his presence in all that you do, and you just feel tired. I guess.. in that sense I can understand. However.. in my opinion.. a relationship with God is like any relationship. You love, and you are committed. This entails that no matter what happens, you weather it all through and stay with each other. With these two crucial aspects.. you and your relationship will be able to grow and better yourselves. Upon this.. you reach fulfillment. It made me reflect on my own relationship with God. Honestly.. my relationship with Him is.. casual. Yet.. somehow.. I do feel comfortable. Like.. I know He is there. and he does do the little things sometimes, like making the bus come just after I arrive at the bus-stop, or stopping the rain just when I leave my house. I'm not too sure if I'm growing.. but I know that He is always there. and.. that itself is a comfort. My godbro talked about the importance of doing all things with God. Not for him, but With him. and he described that it really helps if you place yourself in Jesus's shoes, and do as He would, which is to love and not to be judgmental. What would Jesus do? Which.. makes me realise.. that it is really, all about perspective. The way you choose to see things and how to approach them. and.. if you see things through God, you start to see a lot of good in people. and perhaps, you see things that are unloving, and as such, can do something about it. I realise.. that along the line, I have become rather judgmental, which have affected my actions and my thoughts. I label people as a certain characteristic and just let the label stick. However.. people are not cans of produce, where the contents are exactly as the label indicates (usually and hopefully, rofl :P) People are so much more complex than that. and.. the bottom line is.. that people respond to love. As my godbro nails it home.. no matter what religion you come from.. ultimately, it's all about love. Love one another as I have loved you. A late night's ramblings. Sunday, July 27, 2008 A late night's ramblings. Pluggin' into: You Really Got Me Now by Van Halen I'm up at this unearthly hour, because of all movies, I caught Zodiac on HBO. The movie freaked me out so much la. I couldn't take the suspense music, so I muted it.. on the other hand, the silence of the night is extremely intimidating. Yet.. I couldn't stop watching. It was so interesting and intense. As such.. when the movie ended, I was so freaked that I couldn't go to bed - I didn't want to. Thank God that the next movie was Accepted. I feel so much better now (: I went to HMV a few days ago, and omg.. it was one of the most excruciating experiences I've gone through. Let's just say.. now I know what a shopaholic feels like in a shopping centre but with no cash. My gosh.. everywhere I turned, there was a DVD I liked.. and it was Summer Sale. Took all my restraint to resist swiping all the Dvds off the shelves and into my room. Gah. The greens are indeed a blessing and a curse. I've been eating too much good food lately. I. have. got. to. run. Tired. Body aches, fuzzy mind, entangled thoughts. I'm gonna hit the sack. here I am, rock you like a hurricane My crazy days :) Wednesday, July 23, 2008 My crazy days :) It has been absolutely crazy these few days. My gosh.. all this going out.. my wallet gets thinner and flatter, but I think it's all worth it :) Warning: This entry's a recap! :P Last Wed, I met Jojo and Josephine for lunch in gardens. I intro-ed the 2 jos - it was hilarious :D I thoroughly enjoyed the many laughs we had over that simple Ashton's lunch, hwahahahahaa!! :P Noisy gossip girls and korean drama fans. tsk a tsk :P Last Thurs, I learnt that Jurong Point is NOT at Jurong East, but indeed at the corner of Singapore known as Boon Lay *faints* I tried that Shokutsu10 place, which turns out to be a bunch of Japanese restaurants and markets owned by the same company. In the end, TK and I went to eat at this teppanyaki one. It was pretty good, and the chef was quite funny, lol :P Last Fri, I met up with Josephine for coffeebean breakfast and a quick screening of Step Up 2 :D Later that night, I met up with Hui Luan, who I had not seen for eons! We ate at Pasta Shokudo, which was pretty yummy and at Student's price, heh heh :D (i still think the Waraku one is better :P) Then, on HL's idea, we headed to the National Museum to watch the Night Festival: The Dancing Sky. At the start it was organised quite poorly - it was 45mins late, because some people were blocking the road and the announcement for them to move was repeated so many times in vain, apparently -_- Overall.. haha.. ok la. It's not bad.. but HL was the more enthusiastic one of the two of us :P My favourite part was when they suspended a white piano, where a lady in gown was actually playing it :) It was really cool :D I couldn't care less about the flimsy 'flying pirate ship', HAHA *evil grinz* :P Last Sat was memorable :) Jojo, pee and junyi came over to gardens! :) I love it when people come to my hood, heh heh :P I met pee and junyi at coffeebean first, where we chilled and talked animatedly, rofl! :P Then, on the way home, turns out jojo was just walking up my hse! Sweet timing :) and then.. GUITAR HERO!!! :D WE ROCK :D Haha, as enjoyable as guitar hero was.. i must say, the night was the highlight. It was our cj T7 gathering! Honestly.. I was quite anxious. It has been 4 years since we met up, and to be honest.. I didn't exactly have first 3 mths, thanks to dengue *faints* Nonetheless.. this anxiety evaporated as we had much fun queuing for the marche place and later, caught up with everyone :) It's nice to see that though some things have changed, and some things have not.. ultimately, everyone just basked in the moment and we just did what we all came to do - we gathered :) Kudos to the ex-co (rofl :P), especially pee, for her efforts and sweet thoughts! Gan dong to the max! :D Last Sun, my church choir sang for mass :) I realised.. that especially after the wedding, it seems that our sound has improved and we're a little more comfortable and confident. That's sweet :) and as Evans said.. we sing to bless, not impress *grinz* :D After which, I had a family reunion dinner with my relatives! :) Baby Zac was there! He's cute and his eyes are HUGE!! I still can't carry him though.. he's too squirmy :P and I think when I tried to carry him, we both looked at each other close-up and went "??!!" Let's just say.. we were both wide-eyed, LOL :P doesn't help that Mum says that the baby looks prosecuted in my hands.. gah.. Mon, I watched The Dark Knight with Gen and Josephine! Mum gave Jo and I a lift to cine.. where unfortunately, was the most irritating ass of a taxi driver -_- He kept honking at my mum, when clearly she can't move - the crowd of stupid people was blocking the road! JERK. Anyway, we ate at Gloria Jean's, where sadly the pies cannot make it and chai tea latte just sucks, as someone discovered, lol :P On the bright side.. the dark knight rocked!! and heath ledger was brilliant.. perhaps too brilliant. sighs. He's one of the few actors i actually take note.. who starred in 10 things i hate about you, a knight's tale and Cassanova. Sadness :( Tues, I met up with Grace, Geri and Sam, my classmates in IJ sec 4/3!! My gosh.. it was really fantastic to see all of them!! :D We ate at Waraku in Clarke and my word.. my jaws are still aching from then, lol!! :) It has been so many years, but I feel absolutely comfortable in our conversations and laughter! :) Looking forward to meeting up again! :P Wed, I met up with jojo and char for dinner and supper! :) We ate yummy finger food and pizza at Dome's @ dempsey, then we went to tin hill for dessert. We were cam-whoring all the way man, hwahahahahaa!! :P Then, on an absolute whim, we had a sleepover at char's place! 'twas indeed a very special night :) Loves both of you very much! *BIG HUGZ!!!* :) Today! I went with jojo and dong to watch Batman! :D (yes, again!! WOO HOO!! :D) It was real cool watching it a 2nd time.. it helped to clear up a lot of things and fill up those little parts. Too bad they made Batman sound like Darth Vader's cousin *faints* :P then again.. 'why so serious?', HAHA. After the show, I went to meet Johanna and Gen for dinner! :D My word.. I haven't seen jo for quite a while! we ate at ding tai fung, where the silly lady forgot our table -_- lucky jo went to check manz. After our delicious dinner, we head to gloria jean's to have a drink. Man.. we were really up to so much nonsense, hwahahahahaa!!! :D Coffee moustaches, weird smiles and all those names! Lovin' it all :D P.S. confused by jo? go figure *grinz* :) Egg Song Why do you hate us so? Foully snatching us from our warm mother's breast Minutes from birth; Roughly pawing our delicate bodies; Cruelly locking us in a dark crowded cell; Carelessly flinging us inside a wire cage; Fiendishly freezing us for days only to Sadistically torture us anew by Gaily breaking our fragile bones then Brutally beating our soft white bodies to bruised yellow or Callously cracking our brittle backs over hot iron and Studiously sizzling our blistering flesh, Or (horrors of horrors) Blithely boiling us alive in a pot like cannibals Carefully lifting us screaming from the steaming water only to Casually smash out heads with steel spades before Cheerfully chopping them off to devilishly dip your Stumpy fingers in our oozing blood, Gleefully scooping and scraping our tender flesh to Finally shovel it into Your grinning, murderous mouths. One day soon we will rebel, All turn bad together and Choke you all to death. - Robert Wilks A good friend of mine showed me this poem. I think it's the cutest (: Simple in virtue, Steadfast in Duty. Friday, July 11, 2008 Simple Dans Ma Vertu, Forte Dans Mon Devoir Simple in Virtue, Steadfast in Duty This is gonna be extremely nostalgic. I just came back from my sister's Drama Night. We as a family decided to provide the little one our support, so we went down to her school in full force. It does bring back memories. No matter how often I go.. somehow, when I look at the building, I always see the previous school building instead, with its blue tiles, red gatlings and of course, the memorable school recess bell. What affected me was really.. going into the hall.. and seeing excited girls excitedly chattering with each other and running everywhere. Reminiscence. Then.. I warned my brother, heh heh :P In true blue form.. when the drama started, all the girls screamed their lungs out. It was real entertaining to watch my bro, rofl - he went "these girls.. they cannot clap, but must scream.." :P The play itself was not bad. It would have been better if the actresses articulated their words more. It does have a lot of humour though, rofl! :D "of course you had a dream! You've been sleeping all this time!" After the play, my sister and I were down at the canteen, waiting for my parents. As we tried to contact them, we noticed that a bunch of girls gathered at table seemed to be staring at us. Suddenly these girls called out "ammmm..." At first my sis and I ignored them. Then.. they carried on!! So my sister and I looked at them quizzically.. then, thinking they were calling someone behind us, we turned around to check. There was no one! So we continued ignoring them, thinking they're just trying to be funny and were pulling a prank, lol! :P It was only until one of them went up to me, when it clicked! OMG!!! They were my juniors, 5 years younger than I was!!! I screamed out "Oh my gosh!!" and in my excitement (this part sounds terrible, haha.. :P), shoved my handphone at my sister and rushed over to them, rofl!!! :D My goodness! they have all grown so much! Turns out they were actually calling out "Ma'am!"! However, I haven't been called that for ages and hence didn't respond, hwahahahahaaa!!! :P As i talked to them, suddenly one by one, I began to recognise more and more of them! My word.. it was really nostalgia at its best. I found out that it was their Sec4 farewell camp, and they were going to pass out. Time does really fly. Sadly, I also found out that IJRC may be closing down - their strength stood at 33 before the passing-down. Sigh. I guess.. what really tugged my heart, was that they actually remembered me. I was very impressed. and that despite the large age gap, we were able to talk with such ease.. there is just something there.. something which I believe, is just IJ. Tonight really reminded me how much I missed IJ. It's a culture on its own.. and indeed, a safe nest and haven. I went to do a bit of searching. I heard the school song played on the piano by Ms Jacqueline Yip on the CHIJ Secondary website. I looked up the alumni. I even found CHIJ Sec on wiki! :P However.. the most IJ, was hearing my dear IJ buddies singing the IJ Spirit Song to Ser for her birthday. It always softens my heart. I love you girls :) *hugz* As I watch my sister grow.. with her drama night, her council duties, her school days and friends and the stories she brings back to tell us.. I'm glad that she too is able to experience the IJ spirit, as I did. Simple in Virtue, Steadfast in Duty (: I will be here Monday, July 07, 2008 I Will Be Here Tomorrow morning if you wake up And the sun does not appear I... I will be here If in the dark we lose sight of love Hold my hand and have no fear 'Cause I... I will be here I will be here When you feel like being quiet When you need to speak your mind I will listen And I will be here When the laughter turns to crying Through the winning, losing and trying We'll be together 'Cause I will be here Tomorrow morning if you wake up And the future is unclear I... I will be here As sure as seasons are made for change Our lifetimes are made for years So I... I will be here I will be here And you can cry on my shoulder When the mirror tells us we're older I will hold you And I will be here To watch you grow in beauty And tell you all the things you are to me I will be here I will be true to the promise I have made To you and to the One who gave you to me I will be here And just as sure as seasons are made for change Our lifetimes are made for years So I... I will be here We'll be together I will be here - I Will Be Here by Steven Curtis Chapman Girl Friends (: Thursday, July 03, 2008 Girl Friends Thank God for girl friends. Especially mine (: Haha.. I realised that I'm at a complete loss when it comes to occasions, eg. upcoming wedding!!! and.. i really appreciate my girl friends. Seriously. I feel like I'm gaining a whole education.. like, Dress-Up 1101E or something. I guess.. it doesn't harm taking a bit more care of yourself, aye? I guess it also helps that I've become more open to trying out clothes and stuff (Mum can testify, haha! she went "thank goodness you've grown up! You're so much better now!!", lol! :P) I guess, cos i work on a 'in-dire-need-of-clothes' basis, so I'm pretty much desperate whenever I shop, HAHA :P Many thanks to Ali, HL, Josephine and of course, Mum (: Thanks for roughing with me through shopping centres! (ok maybe it was more challenging for me than you, rofl :P) and being so understanding and patient with me! Gan Dong!! :D Also, many thanks to Jojo and Auddie Pantat! :D It was one of the biggest steps for me. Thanks loads for being so patient and believing in me :) Of course, girl friends are more than that. Ask mine - they rock my world :D [I believe you girls know who you are *grinz* ;)] Thanks for everything (: *BIG HUGZ!!!* Which reminds me.. I met Ser at AMK Hub, of all places, lol!!! :P My gosh.. for some reason, I always exclaim or laugh out loud when I see her, rofl! ;D what to do.. corny as it sounds.. seeing her face does bring me much joy :) Please do take care of yourself!! I'll be praying for you!! My brother once said, "There are no ugly girls, only lazy ones". I think that was once of the sweetest and wisest things (out of many, but shhhhh :P) that I have heard him say (: | |