Yes. 15.
Little big John went to Pizza Pie Cafe with 7 friends a couple days before his birthday then went golfing in St. George with his dad and Uncle John for his birthday. He ate at Iggy's and can't understand why we haven't taken him there before because it was so good. The kids put together a treasure hunt for him to find his gifts (a few of his favorite things) and everyone made him a card. I missed having him around on his birthday but am so glad he got to go on a mini vacation with his dad. When he gt back, he made a wish, at least I told him to, and sent off a Chinese lantern.
My son is one year from driving and dating and today, after solo and ensemble that my son participated in, I was asked if I was his sister. The mom said, "you look alike so I just thought....".
I told John it was because I still have acne. Not because I look young.
This boy is getting tall. He is skinny. And I adore him.
He is trying hard lately to step it up around here. Not in the helping around the house kind of way. Even better. He is trying to be more kind and show more love. And it's working. It doesn't hurt that there is this girl that he likes and I think she motivates him to do better and try harder. (and he's pretty sure he's going to marry her. Is that normal?)
John takes thyroid medication and it helps him get through his days. We think it also has fixed whatever was giving him migraines. He is also going to a chiropracter once a week for a while. He contorts his body in the strangest ways and I thought it would be good to be looked at. The dr. is helping his hips and back.
John's a good kid. He tries hard and gets good grades. He sings well and the mom who spear headed the solo ensemble said he has a great voice. He is super sensitive. He doesn't like to hear if he is doing something not perfect. He gets really down and hard on himself. Reminds me of me and his uncle Mark.
He wanted to have friends over last weekend and John and I were hosting a high priest social so little John cleaned the entire house and it looked good. Amazing what he can do when he puts his heart in it.
He can't wait to get his drivers permit and I'm not sure why we haven't gone to get it yet. Guess I should get on that. He's not complaining but I know he'd love it.
John is obsessed with Nike Elite socks, NBA jerseys, and nutella on toast. He loves hoodies and watching games on tv, and playing basketball. He still plans to be in the NBA when he grows up. He hopes to go to BYU and he will make an amazing husband one day.
He dreamt he went to Ohio on his mission and is pretty sure it will come true. He works out every evening and doesn't like that he is still so skinny. He is smart and gets good grades and EVERY BODY. SERIOUSLY.........EVERY BODY.......at school loves John and think she is great. He is kind to everyone and doesn't have a mean thing to say about anyone. He is an impressive kid. His biggest struggle is in the home. He is so great everywhere else he goes, that home is the place he lets out all the frustration but like I said earlier, he is really trying and it's showing and I'm impressed.
The other night we were arguing a bit and having a chat in his room. At the end of it, I choked up (and full blown bawled when I left his room) because I have 3 short years left with my baby. He'll be heading on a mission and to school and marriage and who knows what else when he gets back.
John and I have been discussing vacations and I asked little John where he would like to go. He doesn't care. He likes home the best and the cabin second. I guess we need to spend as much time as we can at the cabin this summer because next summer he might have a job. Yuck. I'm losing him. At least that's how it feels.
My heart aches with love for this kid. I have way too many regrets with him but also know I can't do anything about them but try harder as time goes on. And it's hard. Hard because I have such a short time left that I don't know if I can make a difference in the ways I've messed up.
I hope he knows that I completely adore him and love him and would do anything for him. I hope he knows that he made me a mother and that's the greatest thing I could ever ask for.
I just want to hug him and cuddle him and hold him again. I want to go back to when he was little and not try so hard but just sit and love and laugh with him more.
I read to little John more than to any of my kids. I spent more time adoring him and showing him off than I have any of the others. I think I also expect so much more of him.
He is just amazing and I love him dearly and I can't believe he is working on another year and just getting taller and older and wiser and better.
I love you John John. I am sorry for my many many shortcomings in being your mother and I hope you know or will know one day how deep my love is for you.
Happy 15th birthday and the happiest of your 16th year! I LOVE YOU.
