First the pork, now the balls

I’ve gotten a lot of lovely messages from readers who made the Cranberry Pork Roast recipe I shared from Getting Dumped and managed not to burn down their homes. Way to go!

For those who’ve been asking (or for those who prefer a culinary experiment that doesn’t involve turning on an oven), I’d like to share the no-bake White Chocolate Apricot Balls that are also featured in the story. Enjoy!

White Chocolate Apricot Balls

• 2/3 cup powdered sugar
• 1 cup blanched almonds
• 2 cups dried apricots
• 2 tablespoons rum
  
• Zest of 1 medium orange
• 1.5 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 4 ounces of white chocolate (look in the baking section, or just a regular old bar of white chocolate will do. You can even try white chocolate chips if you can't find anything else)
  

This is pretty much the easiest recipe on the planet if you have a food processor. Throw the almonds and powdered sugar in the processor and pulse until the almonds are finely ground. Don't go too crazy or you'll end up with almond butter. Once you've done the nuts, (snicker) throw in the dried apricots and pulse until they're chopped up nice and small. After that, dump in the rum, vanilla, orange zest, and white chocolate. Pulse again until everything's nice and blended.

Here comes the fun part...

Spray your hands with nonstick cooking spray. Then grab a handful of the goo in the food processor and make a ball. You should have enough to form 20-24 balls, so get rolling.

Spread them out on a baking sheet, but don't bake them. Chill them in the fridge for a couple hours (though if you're impatient like me, you can start gobbling them up right away – they just won't be firm at that point, and isn't it always best to wait 'til something's satisfactorily firm?)

So there you go – another recipe from Getting Dumped. Those of you who read the first episode may be interested to know episode #2 is right around the corner. Those who haven't read it yet can find it here on Kindle.

Happy eating! (And reading).

What makes me drool

If you’ve read Making Waves, you probably have an inkling I’m rather fond of food. I drooled every time I wrote about one of Cookie’s gourmet meals.

If you’ve read the first episode of my new “active fiction” title from Coliloquy, you know Getting Dumped seals the deal. It’s true, I am a food whore.

Many of the dishes described in Getting Dumped are real menu items from my personal repertoire. For those who’ve been asking, here’s one of my favorites described in the story:

Cranberry Pork Roast in the Crockpot

• 2-3 pound pork roast (I buy the three-packs at Costco and freeze ‘em)
• 1 16-ounce can of whole berry cranberry sauce
• 1 tsp stone ground mustard
• ¾ cup orange juice (I’ve also used cranberry or apple in a pinch)
• 1/3 cup brown sugar
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• ½ tsp ground cloves
• 1 pinch ground orange peel (optional)
• Salt & pepper to taste

Throw the roast in your Crockpot. Mix up all the other crap and dump it over the roast. Turn your Crockpot on low and retreat to the bedroom with someone naked to spend the next eight or nine hours doing something more fun than cooking.

Or go to work. Whatever.

Come home, stab the roast with a fork, and pull it out of the pot. Don’t be surprised if it shreds to pieces because it’s so tender. If the liquid left in your Crockpot is bubbling a bit, mix up about a tablespoon of cornstarch and a tablespoon of water until the cornstarch is all dissolved. You can use flour if you prefer, but mix it in a separate dish or you’ll make a gloppy mess. When the mixture is pasty, dump it in the bubbling liquid.

If your liquid wasn’t bubbling to start with, make it bubble. Like in a saucepan, not in your hot tub. That would be weird. Then add the cornstarch or flour mix. The object is to thicken it up so it’s a nice, tasty sauce.

When you’ve got that ready, shred your pork with a couple forks and throw it back in t he sauce. Serve. It’s terrific with rosemary garlic mashed potatoes and a nice salad.

Bon Appétit!

Oh, and the first episode of Getting Dumped is on sale at Amazon for $1.99 right now. Snag it while it’s cheap!

Not safe for work....but you totally want to watch this!

For a few weeks now, I've been gushing about Coliloquy, the publisher that just released my quirky romantic caper, Getting Dumped, as one of their first "interactive fiction" titles.

When my agent first called me about getting involved with something so new and unique and...um, well, different, I'll admit it – I didn't totally understand. Choose-your-own-adventure? For grownups? On Kindle? Well, OK...maybe.

It wasn't until I had a chance to talk with Coliloquy co-founder Lisa Rutherford that I totally got it.

And holy cow, you'd better believe I signed that contract within hours.

Since I'm guessing some of you might still be hazy on the concept, I wanted to share a video of the amazing Lisa Rutherford speaking at a conference and offering a demo of how different types of interactive fiction can work. It's an awesome overview not only of the interactive fiction concept, but of why Coliloquy is so incredible I just had to get involved.

I'll warn you there might be a tiny smidge of risque language right near the end, so consider this not safe for work.

But you should definitely check it out when you aren't surrounded by co-workers or toddlers or monkeys easily offended by slang terms for female genitalia. I promise it'll get you as jazzed about interactive fiction as everyone else seems to be.

Here's the link (with a little intro text to set things up, just so you know you won't go straight to the video).

Whaddya think? Exciting, huh?

And admit it....are you as delighted as I am by the idea of customized erotica? I think I need to lie down now.

Good questions from you guys; great answers from Coliloquy

It’s been two weeks since Coliloquy launched my new “active fiction” title, Getting Dumped. We’ve been thrilled to bits with the media buzz, reader feedback, and shirtless men appearing on the doorsteps of all Coliloquy authors to offer free housecleaning services.

Wait, not everyone got the shirtless men?

No matter, I’ve been fielding quite a few questions about Coliloquy and their groundbreaking new “choose your own adventure” approach to reading. The powers-that-be (who are so powerful they kill superheroes with their minds) kindly agreed to provide answers. Here’s the inside scoop straight from the Coliloquy crew:

Q: What do you mean by “active fiction?”

A: Most books are offered as static content – they’re written, published, and purchased by readers who don’t have much interaction with the story. But Coliloquy offers books as active content applications. That means authors and readers get to interact with the stories through a bunch of different mechanics, including multiple “what if” storylines and choice points. You can choose one path through the story and then change courses and see how another version turns out. Authors get to see reader choices and data, which allows them to use that feedback to shape the next episode of the story.

Q: Do I need to have a Kindle, or can I read Coliloquy titles on my Nook, my iPad, the Kindle software on my phone, or the mildew patterns on my shower curtain?

A: For initial launch, Coliloquy focused on the heaviest users and largest market share by starting with Amazon, so right now, titles are only available on Kindle, Kindle Touch, Kindle DX and Kindle Keyboard devices. However, more platforms will be available in the near future. Stay tuned!

Q: I live in Australia (or Canada or the UK or Uranus). Can I buy Coliloquy titles for myself or as a gift for a friend in the US?

A: Alas, Amazon doesn’t allow readers outside the US to purchase Coliloquy titles for themselves or for others just yet, but we hope to have that capability in the future. And we’re very sorry about Uranus.

Q: I devoured the first episode of Getting Dumped, only to discover that bitch of an author left me hanging. What gives?

A: The cliffhanger at the end of the first episode is intentional because Tawna is an evil hussy like that. We’ve chained her to her desk where she’s being forced by a team of rabid monkeys to type with one hand while using the other hand to skim data on the choices readers make in the first episode. Since she doesn’t have a free hand for anything else, she’s understandably frustrated.

Q: How will I know when the next episode is available?

A: Tawna will communicate that information to you telepathically. In case that fails, our friends at Amazon are going to let you know.

Q: Is there someplace I can find recipes for the amazing food described in Getting Dumped?

A: At the moment, the recipes are buried deep in the recesses of Tawna’s brain, which is a scary place to be. We’re attempting to extract them with a bent coat hanger and a jar of grape jelly, so watch this blog for future details.

Q: Admit it, is Tawna really your favorite among the Coliloquy authors?

A: Well, if you promise not to tell anyone…

It’s possible I made up that last one.

It’s also possible I’ve missed a question or two you guys might have about Coliloquy, Getting Dumped, or the price of a lap dance at your local landfill. Is there anything else you need to know? Ask away! 

 UPDATE!

Woohooo! We just got word that Amazon is running a special promotion for Coliloquy titles. For a limited time, you can nab Getting Dumped for only $1.99. Yay!

So who won the Kindle? (drumroll, please)

I'm thrilled with all the fabulous participation from readers hoping to win a Kindle loaded with all four "active fiction" launch titles from Coliloquy!

Thanks so much to all of you who commented, tweeted, blogged, Facebook posted, sent photos, and tattooed the Coliloquy logo on your butt cheeks (though, alas, we had to disqualify several who placed the tattoo on the right cheek instead of the left).

I'm going to pretend at least some of your enthusiasm is for my book, Getting Dumped, as opposed to just the free Kindle.

Some of you opted to perform the photo task as part of your entry criteria, and I laughed myself silly over these entries:

Allie Sanders got into the spirit of Getting Dumped by borrowing her nephew's hardhat and dump truck.  I'm assuming the lovely handbag is hers?

Caitlin Whitaker missed out on a contest I held several months ago inviting readers to reenact the cover for my debut novel, Making Waves. She decided to make up for it by creating a Making Waves-inspired parody for Getting Dumped. I'm just hoping that garbage can was clean. Oh, and that she knows the guy she's in there with.

Sprouting Acorn (aka Lynnanne) opted to reenact a bit of the actual cover for Getting Dumped (complete with a personal note pleading for the Kindle!)

Suzy Brown embraced the designer handbag theme in Getting Dumped. She assured us these were just the bags she happened to have with her at work. JJ and Lori (the handbag-adoring heroines from Getting Dumped) would be so impressed!

I decided to let the wonderful folks at Coliloquy choose a winner, since they're the ones providing the Kindle and all. They carefully reviewed all the entries and developed a technologically advanced selection method involving a Sun Netra E1 PCI System Expander, an ATI Radeon 7200, and a quart of mayonnaise.

Congratulations to Caitlin Whitaker! You're the proud owner of a brand new Kindle loaded with all four "active fiction" launch titles from Coliloquy. Email me at tawnafenske at yahoo dot com with your snail mail address and I'll have Coliloquy get your Kindle out to you ASAP.

In case you missed it, I posted the first chapter of Getting Dumped on the blog yesterday. If you want to keep reading, visit Amazon to pick up your own copy (and a Kindle, if you don't happen to have one.

Thanks, everyone, for playing! You guys rock!

Celebrating launch day for GETTING DUMPED by giving away a free Kindle!

You may have caught some of the media buzz yesterday, but in case you missed it, Coliloquy officially launched their new line of "active fiction" titles for Kindle.

My book, Getting Dumped, is one of the four launch books for what is essentially a grownup version of choose-your-own-adventure novels.

Can I pause here to squeal with joy?

There's been a lot of chatter about how this is the first interactive app ever released by Amazon, and how this is changing the face of publishing. You can read some snippets at Publishers Weekly or on techy sites like WebPro News.

I've heard from a handful of people who wish they could read the book, but don't have a Kindle. Others have shared that they loved the book and wish they could give it as a gift to a Kindle-less loved one.

Want to remedy that?

Coliloquy is giving away a free Kindle to one lucky reader of this blog. Not just a free Kindle, but a free Kindle loaded with the four launch titles.

How cool is that?!

There are several ways you can enter to win. Want more than one entry? Do more than one thing!

1. Tweet your heart out! If you're a Twitter user, compose a tweet stating why you want Getting Dumped. Be sure to include @coliloquy and/or @tawnafenske so you get credit.
2. About Face! Are you a Facebook fan? Put up a post explaining why you want a free Kindle, a copy of Getting Dumped, and maybe a pony.
3. Blog it, baby. Got a blog of your own? Write about us! Share what you think is cool about Coliloquy, why you want to read Getting Dumped, or how you share my not-so-secret fantasy of ditching the day job to crush garbage with heavy equipment.
4. Review me! Are you one of the folks who's already read Getting Dumped but want to win for a friend? Review the book on Amazon! Bonus points for positive reviews! (Kidding. Not really).
5. Share the love! Visit my fabulous agent's blog and leave a comment letting her know I sent you and that you desperately, urgently want to win the Kindle.
6. Capture the moment. Snap a funny photo with some Getting Dumped significance. Like maybe a picture of you beside a piece of heavy equipment. Or a picture of you with a great handbag. Or a picture of you holding the great handbag while driving a bulldozer over the top of a guy who just got busted for selling counterfeit handbags. Use your imagination and make us laugh! You can send pics to tawnafenske at yahoo dot com.

Your name will be entered in the drawing one time for each of those tasks. Do one, or do them all! It's a regular DO IT fest! (snicker)

Whatever you do, leave a comment on this blog alerting us exactly which entry tasks you've performed. We'll love you forever if you include links, user names, Twitter handles, or any info that makes it easy for us to see what you're saying.

The contest will be open through 5 p.m. PST on Tuesday, January 24. I'll choose a winner and post the pics the next day.

Questions? Points of clarification? Leave 'em in the comments!

About Getting Dumped, now available on Kindle:
Getting Dumped is an "Active Fiction" title, a new type of e-book from Coliloquy. In this Active Fiction series, your input influences future books from this author. Specifically, in Getting Dumped, your choices influence what happens to JJ Shultz. Losing a cushy marketing job only to end up driving heavy equipment at the landfill would be a tough blow for most women, but JJ Schultz isn't most women. JJ gamely swaps office politics for a chance to crush garbage. The drama kicks into high gear when JJ and her sister, Lori, uncover a counterfeit handbag ring. JJ soon finds herself unraveling a sinister plot in the company of a tie-tugging accountant, a straight-to-video action hero/secretary, a suspicious but sneaky-hot engineer, and a host of other characters with questionable hygiene and morals. The author still isn't sure who JJ should end up with, so she's eager to see who her readers prefer. She sees the aggregate statistics on who gets picked the most, so the more you read, the more you influence what she writes. Please note: Getting Dumped contains content that may be inappropriate for children.

The things I want to put in your mouth

There's a mental disorder that runs in my family.

It's a chronic, urgent, desperate need to feed people.

Admittedly, most mental health professionals don't recognize this as a disorder. I've never read about it in a medical journal or seen a parade organized to benefit victims of this syndrome. In all honesty, it's not terribly crippling.

I wasn't fully aware of it until I was working on edits for Getting Dumped, my new project with Coliloquy. My heroine, JJ, is constantly whipping up meals for her sister and the various men in her life.

I never thought much of it until my editor started raising questions: Why is she always feeding people? Why does she cook when no one else in her family does? Why doesn't she do it for a living? Can I have the recipe for those White Chocolate Apricot Balls?

I was a little taken aback, and not just because I'd lost that recipe. I hadn't actually noticed JJ's habit because...well, it just seemed normal to me.

Not that I'm the best judge of normal.

The timing of these edits coincided with the early months of dating my new gentleman friend. As is my habit whether I'm feeding myself or ten others, I threw together elaborate dinners every night.

At first, he seemed nervous. He didn't want me to go to so much trouble on his account, and though he loved the meals, he fretted about the time and money I was spending.

"Trust me," I assured him. "This is just what I do. If I'm not feeding you, I'll be feeding the housemates, packaging Tupperware meals for my girlfriends, or summoning the dog to eat maple orange chicken dusted with rosemary."

I'm not sure he totally believed me until he met my mom. Then my cousin. Then my grandmother.

And I'm pretty sure every one of us offered him food.

I blame it on genetics, though that's not the excuse I gave JJ in Getting Dumped. In her case, it's almost the opposite. She grew up in a family of people who didn't cook, but she happened to love food. Determined to be self-sufficient – and convinced she damn well deserved gourmet meals any time she wanted them – she became a ruthlessly proficient cook.

Because she loves cooking, she never wants to do it for a living. On that note, I can relate.

Do you have any quirky habits you weren't aware of until someone else pointed them out to you? Please share!

And let me know if you'll be stopping by tonight for lasagna. Say, 7ish? Bring wine. Lots of it.

Why I shouldn't be trusted to communicate this week

Yesterday, I sent a congratulatory note to a friend who landed an agent. I tried to type "yaaay!" but my phone decided I meant "yeast!"

So my friend either thinks I'm baking sourdough, or hoping to discuss infections. Either way, this is the sort of week I'm having.

Tuesday evening, I got a note from my real estate agent alerting me that a house I really, really like in a neighborhood I really, really love, just went up for sale at a price I might actually be able to afford without selling my nipples on the black market. I was still squealing with excitement when an email arrived from my literary agent (who, incidentally, shares a first name with my realtor. I know, right?)

She had some exciting news, too. News I decided to post to Twitter immediately, along with an Amazon link.

You see where this is going, don't you?

Yup, I tweeted the link to the house. After four-dozen replies from confused readers wondering why I wanted all 2,315 of my Twitter followers to see photos of a foreclosed home in Central Oregon, I figured out how to delete the tweet and post the right link.

Only it turns out I kinda wasn't supposed to post the link just yet because it's sorta still a secret. Sorta.

"Feel free to mention that it's up in broad strokes," came the note from my publisher, which sent me into giggles and fits. It's up? Broad strokes? Sometimes, I swear you guys are just feeding me the filthy jokes.

Oh, and here's what else I'm allowed to say: "Shh...still being tested, but guess what's up in the Amazon store?! Just a few days to launch and lots of details!"

So that's what I can tell you right now. In case you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, rest assured, this is the story of my life. I shared news about my new project with Coliloquy here, so that should give you another clue.

Stay tuned for more details next week. And feel free to share any embarrassing "you won't believe what I did" stories of your own. It'll make me feel better.

Oh, and if you get any texts, tweets, or email messages from me this week, I'd like to apologize in advance. For whatever.

The art of the tease

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been called a tease.

Raise your other hand if you’ve secretly considered it a compliment.

Crap, I can’t type with both hands in the air.

The art of the tease is something romance authors work long and hard (snicker) to perfect. Your characters might want to jump each other’s bones on page one, but you’ve got 350 pages to fill. Odds are good you’ll run out of sex positions by then, and sad as it is to say, even I’d be bored by 350 pages of playing spear the donut.

I heard an editor once say she prefers to have the couple in a romance novel swap their first kiss by page 50 and first sex by page 100. It’s a rule I’ve never followed, and so far, no one’s yelled at me for it. I far prefer the long, drawn-out tease. I want the couple to come close to burping the worm once, twice, maybe three times, building the tension and leaving the reader squirming in her chair.

There’s an art to the squirming, though. Interrupt too many hookups with a ringing telephone or some other clichéd contrivance and you’ll have your reader rolling her eyes instead of diddling herself under the desk turning the pages of your book.

I've heard people say the romance novels are all about how to get two people together, but I disagree. Getting them together is the easy part. Creating a long, slow, tease that keeps them from consummating their relationship for much of the book is the tough part.

With all this talk about teasing, I feel obligated to say I'm not quite done doing that with my new book deal for Coliloquy. I shared some of the details on Monday and Tuesday, but I can't give it all up just yet. Stay tuned here for more info, or sign up with Coliloquy to be first to hear about release information.

In the meantime, how do you feel about the fine art of the tease? Can you think of examples of authors or significant others who've done a particularly good job with it? Please share!

It's time for me to put my hands down and quit typing with my toes.

How you know your new publisher rocks

In case you've ever wondered, here's how you know if your new publisher rocks so hard they'd make Popeye seasick.

You walk out to your mailbox on a gloomy Monday afternoon expecting the usual assortment of bills, pizza coupons, and sex toy catalogs church bulletins.

Instead, you find this:

Yes, Coliloquy – the folks publishing my new "active fiction" title later this week – sent me a new Kindle loaded with all their launch titles. Holymotherofcrap, isn't that cool?

As you know, I've had to be pretty secretive about the nature of this project. There are still a few things I'm not allowed to reveal until release day, but I asked permission to answer some of the questions you guys posed in the comments yesterday.

The Sprouting Acorn asked:
I'd still like to know what the cat photo had to do with the clues in Friday's post.

That's an easy one! When I sat down to write Getting Dumped, I decided JJ needed a pet. I looked to my own four-legged brood to assess who'd make the best character in a romantic caper. It didn't take long for me to settle on Blue Cat:

I acquired Blue Cat by accident several years ago when I wandered into Petco for aquarium plants. They had a section of cages filled with death row cats who'd been at the animal shelter for too long, and Blue Cat caught my eye because he was huge and mostly bald.

"Someone adopted him for a month and then brought him back so matted they had to shave him," the attendant explained.

His tag said he'd been at the shelter for more than a year and that he was 13 years old. "No one's going to adopt an elderly, bald, 300 pound cat who's probably crazy after being incarcerated for a year," I said. "I'll take him."

On his first visit to the vet, he threw such a snarling, howling conniption fit, the vet tech tried to send us home. But the vet came in and wrestled him to the ground so she could peer at his teeth. "This cat isn't 13 years old," she said. "He's maybe 3 or 4."

Despite his occasional surly disposition (usually tempered by spending an hour chasing the dog around the house) Blue Cat is the most loving of my three feline companions. The sheer size of him means he puts my legs to sleep when he sits on me, but whenever I feel glum, I can count on Blue Cat to magically appear and offer his lap-warming services. He chases large dogs out of the yard, and the neighbors have dubbed him "Battle Cat" for his tough-guy walk and fearless nature.

That's Blue Cat in a nutshell, and you'll be seeing quite a bit of him in Getting Dumped.

Now for the next blog reader comment:

Steph Schmidt wrote:
I signed up for Coliloquy but after reading that blurb I'm impatient as all hell for it to launch (never mind I lack an e-reader, mere details at this point).

Thanks for your eagerness! For the initial launch, Kindle will be the only format for Getting Dumped. There are super-techy reasons for that, but I'm not allowed to go into details just yet. Consider it a good reason to add a Kindle to your holiday wish list, or stay tuned for details about other formats and platforms.

Sierra Godfrey wrote:
Very interesting! I look forward to seeing how this works. Any chance you can outline what exactly actively interacting with you entails? Er...we ARE reading, right?

We're getting into top-secret territory here, but I promise I'll be able to share more details later this week. For now, here's the official marketing lingo I'm allowed to post:

"Active fiction" is a new type of e-reading experience that allows the reader and the author to interact with each other and the text in new and different ways.

In Getting Dumped, Tawna gives you one very simple choice point: Which guy should JJ call? Depending on your choice, you’ll get to know one of the guys a bit more intimately. Don’t be afraid to read all three versions–it’s for JJ’s own good, after all! And of course, feel free to re-read YOUR favorite over and over again. Tawna still isn't sure who JJ should end up with, so she's eager to see who her readers prefer. She sees the aggregate statistics on who gets picked the most, so the more you read, the more you influence what she writes.

If it sounds fun to read, I can tell you it's been 10-times as fun to write. The authors among you will all be familiar with how much second guessing goes into every decision you make when plotting a book. It's been amazing to be able to sit back and say, "here are a few ways this can go, let's have readers pick!"

I'll share more info as soon as I can, and I promise to post Amazon links and other goodies once I have the go-ahead.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go play with what came in the mail.

The Kindle, you perverts. The Kindle.

How I fulfilled my trashy fantasies

When I was five, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Waiting for the garbage truck with my kid brother.

Every Tuesday morning, I'd scramble to the big picture window at the front of the house and wait for that familiar rumble. I'd sit, mesmerized, as the garbage truck came lumbering down the street.

"Garbey-guck," my two-year-old brother would announce.

"Damn straight," I'd say (or something to that effect). "Someday, I'm going to drive one."

I'm 37 now, and I haven't entirely fulfilled my fantasy. But I've come close.

In the spring of 2008, I got laid off from a job as the director of marketing and franchise development for a chain of photo studios. I was thrilled.

Because it gave me the chance to combine my adult career fantasy of being a novelist, with my childhood career fantasy of working with trash. I remember the phone call I made shortly after my layoff. My words came out in an excited jumble, and the receptionist was so silent afterward that I thought she'd hung up on me.

"Let me get this straight," she said at last. "You want to come here to the Deschutes County Department of Solid Waste to do research for a mystery/romance novel."

"Yes!"

"Romance," she repeated. "And mystery. In a landfill?"

"Yes!"

There was another long pause, so I decided to press my luck. "Do you think there's any chance I could drive the compactor?"

I didn't get to drive the compactor, but I did get to sit in the cab and make growly noises, followed by the occasional beep-beep for backup effect. I can honestly say that doing research for Getting Dumped was some of the most fun I've ever had in my life.

And in case you haven't figured it out yet, Getting Dumped is the secret project I've been hinting about for awhile now. The book is set to release this week, and here's a blurb:

Losing a cushy marketing job only to end up driving heavy equipment at the landfill would be a tough blow for most women.

But JJ Schultz isn’t most women, so she gamely swaps office politics and dry cleaning bills for a chance to crush garbage with a 150,000 pound machine. As it turns out, she doesn’t miss her old life too much…though her love life was sure a lot simpler when she didn’t wear a hardhat every day. Between her hot new co-workers and her on-again-off-again boyfriend, JJ has her hands full.

But the drama kicks into high gear when JJ and her sister, Lori, find evidence of a counterfeit handbag operation – something local police deem only slightly more urgent than collecting fruit flies. JJ soon finds herself unraveling a sinister plot in the company of a tie-tugging accountant, a straight-to-video action hero turned secretary, a suspicious but sneaky-hot engineer, and a host of other characters with questionable hygiene and morals.

Now here's the kicker – the book is being released as an "active fiction" title. Er, what does that mean? Well, it's a brand new kind of e-reading experience that allows the reader and author to interact with each other and the text in new and different ways.

Think grown-up, modern version of those choose-your-own adventure novels from childhood.

Intrigued? So was I when my agent called early last summer positively shrieking with excitement over this hot new opportunity. Her enthusiasm was contagious, and soon I was almost as excited about being one of the launch authors for Coliloquy as I was about driving the garbage truck.

I'll be able to share more details over the next couple days, but you can click that Coliloquy link to sign up for an alert when the launch titles go live this week.

For now, I'd love to hear more about what you wanted to be when you were young. Did it change when you got older? Have you ever had the chance to fulfill any childhood career fantasies? Please share!

I'll be sitting in the backhoe at the construction site down the street making growly noises. If you see me, don't interrupt.

Fueled by lust for big engines & good wine

Those of you who follow me on Twitter know I’ve spent the last couple days ogling the construction workers next door diligently researching the construction trade for my current manuscript.

Actually, it’s not the construction workers that enthrall me (OK, it kinda is).

But my real lust is for the heavy equipment.

I love bulldozers and backhoes, trenchers and cement mixers. My life’s ambition through most of my formative years was to drive a garbage truck.

My fascination with the compactor at the landfill led me to write an entire book about a heroine who loses her office job and ends up working at the dump.

(Let’s all pause for a moment and cross our fingers – or any other available body parts – that my wonderful agent has the same good luck selling GETTING DUMPED as she did selling my romantic comedies!)

In last week’s blog chain on writing process, I touched briefly on the fact that story ideas don’t seem to come as easily for me as they do for some authors. While many of my peers seem to have a constant stream of plots and concepts flooding their brain, I operate more like an attention-deficit eight-year-old.

“Big, spiky wheels!” squeals my inner third grader at the sight of a landfill compactor. “Maybe if I write about it, they’ll let me drive one!”

(Sadly, they did not, though I did get to spend a lot of time crawling around inside them).

And though my inner third grader is not legal drinking age, it was my fascination with wine – plus my urge to drink some and get paid for it – that prompted me to propose LET IT BREATHE as the third book in my recent three-book contract with Sourcebooks.

Oh, and for the record, the love interest in that book is a construction foreman. See? I told you the ogling was research.

I’m always curious about where authors get their story ideas. Do yours come easy for you, or is it like pulling teeth? (Hey, there’s a story idea…)

Please share your experiences in the comments trail.

And while we’re sharing, allow me to share the highlight of my week. I wore a tight shirt used my exemplary powers of professional persuasion to convince the guys next door to let me sit on the backhoe. Alas, I didn’t get to drive it. But they did let me make growly engine noises and that beepy sound to suggest I was backing up.

My life is complete.

The wacky side of romance

I’ve always been a slut for romance novels.

In high school I worked hard to hone my talent for snatching any bodice-ripper romance novel out of a garage sale bin and locating a major love scene in under a minute. It was a skill based largely on my ability to skim for words like “heaving” and “moan” and “thighs” and “pounding,” but a skill nonetheless.

Sadly, it’s one that’s gone largely unappreciated by my employers.

One of the first things I did after graduating with a degree in English Literature was drive to a thrift store and cram an oversized garbage back with as many romance novels as I could carry. I spent the summer devouring those books, loving every gasp and whimper and flirtatious frolic in a meadow.

But despite my appreciation for the more traditional romances, my real passion is for the ones that are a little more offbeat. Those authors who can take something decidedly unromantic and turn it into something that makes me want to toss my panties on a chandelier.

Take Jennifer Crusie, for example. Any author can set a love scene in a candlelit room with rose petals on the bed, but Crusie can do it in a miserable, stifling attic with a heroine whose mind isn’t in the moment and a hero who turns her on by throwing a lamp and an alarm clock at the wall (read WELCOME TO TEMPTATION if you don’t know what I’m talking about).

In Tiffanie DeBartolo’s HOW TO KILL A ROCK STAR, one of the sexiest scenes in the whole book has the heroine sitting backstage on a crate while the hero plays guitar onstage. The two don’t even touch, yet it’s one of those pulse-pounding scenes you’ll find yourself daydreaming about on the subway two months later (and when you’re all flushed and sweaty, you can tell your seatmates you have a highly contagious disease. More room for you!)

And don’t even get me started on Diana Gabaldon’s OUTLANDER series. When my book club’s ringleader described a 660-page novel about time travel in the Scottish Highlands in 1743, she pretty much hit every hot button of what I don’t like to read. Then she whispered scandalously, “everyone I know who read it swore it spiced up their marriage.” Sign us up! And somehow, Gabaldon managed to take these improbable situations with unwashed bodies, a forced marriage, and a virgin groom and create these unbelievably hot love scenes over and over and over and over and . . .

Where was I?

Oh, right. So when it comes to my own writing, I’ll admit I take my fondness for offbeat romance to the extreme. Fortunately, this is something my brilliant and talented agent Michelle Wolfson seems to like about me, which is probably why she didn’t have a stroke when I told her I wanted to write a sexy mystery set in a landfill. I’m very happy that Michelle loves GETTING DUMPED as much as I do, and we’re excited about our upcoming quest to find the editor (and readers!) who share our enthusiasm.

My other current project, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, falls more squarely into the romantic comedy realm. There’s a scene where my heroine says to the hero, “This has to be least romantic courtship in the history of the planet.” In my mind, that line existed before I wrote a single word of the book. Every scene I wrote leading up to that line was crafted so the reader would reach that point and say, “you know, it is the least romantic courtship – but damn if it I don’t want to jump the mailman right now.”

Don’t do this, by the way. Mailmen carry mace.

At any rate, I’m crossing my fingers there are plenty of others out there with a fondness for offbeat romance. Based on feedback from my critique partners, beta readers, and agent (who are never afraid to tell me when I suck) these stories don’t suck. Thank God.

In the meantime, I’m pleased to announce that Saturday marks my twelfth wedding anniversary with Pythagoras. Come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you the least romantic engagement story on the planet – and why it’s precisely the kind of romance I love.

Where fiction meets reality: the litter box

Though last Friday’s post showed that I’m a big fat liar when it comes to inventing characters, I’ll admit that not all of them are products of my imagination.

Despite being an animal nut, I don’t often include pets in my stories. Maybe it’s that I didn’t want to pee on the turf of some of my idols, Jennifer Crusie, Janet Evanovich, and Kristan Higgins, all of whom feature animals in their books.

Or maybe it’s just that I didn’t want to play favorites. My pets read my manuscripts, and the Australian Shepherd would be a real bastard if I portrayed him in a poor light.

But when I began writing GETTING DUMPED, my friend Larie (owner of the fabulous Clutch: a handbag boutique that partly inspired the story) insisted that a pet would make my heroine more sympathetic.

I rounded up our two dogs and three cats, surveying the brood for the most sympathetic character. It didn’t take long. Napping facedown on Pythagoras’ sneaker was Blue Cat.

Blue Cat’s mere presence in our home is all about sympathy. I spotted him in a lineup of death-row shelter cats a couple years ago. He was shaved nearly bald, and what little fur he had stuck out around his face like a matted blue-gray mane. Despite being hairless, he was enormous. His tag declared him to be 12 years old and a resident of the animal shelter for the better part of a year (minus a brief stint where he was adopted, matted beyond repair, and returned to the shelter for shaving and more incarceration).

I’m a sucker for pet sob stories anyway, but I knew a bald, oversized, elderly cat that had been in the pound for a year wouldn’t be high on anyone’s adoption list. Since we already had several elderly pets at the time, one more wouldn’t hurt.

On our first trip to the vet, Blue Cat threw such a screaming conniption fit that the vet tech nearly sent us home. When the vet came in, she bravely wrestled him to the floor and pried open his jaws. “This cat isn’t twelve,” she said as she inspected his fangs. “He’s more like three or four.”

Oh. That might explain the vigor he shows when chasing the dogs around the house. Or his youthful enthusiasm for hitting – not clawing, literally hitting – anyone who irritates him.

In spite of his occasional cantankerous attitude, Blue Cat is one of the most loving members of the pack. He weighs as much as a small car, but still loves to park himself on my chest every morning and purr so hard he shakes the bed. He’s afraid of nothing – not dogs, not houseguests, not even the vacuum cleaner.

So Blue Cat seemed like a perfect match for my spunky, independent heroine JJ (who deliberately purchases a blue-gray sofa to mask cat fur, and knows better than to expect her pet to come to her rescue at any point in the story).

I’m not certain what will eventually happen with GETTING DUMPED, though I know my fabulous agent Michelle Wolfson has a game plan.

But I do know that Blue Cat is here to stay. Lord knows I couldn’t lift him anyway.


When he's feeling generous Blue Cat will allow the dog to sleep on her own bed.