Musings from Brian J. Noggle
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Saturday, October 21, 2006
A Phrase Whose Time Has Gone Attention all marketers, copywriters, and advertising folk: Please, from this day forward, stop using the following phrase, because you obviously lack the logical skills required to infer the implication: Second to NoneI heard this phrase on the radio again today, and its earnest presenter assured me that a local grocery store's pharmacy offered customer service that is second to none.Oh, really, I thought; so the customer service presented by the cut-rate employees of the discount chain are actually not as good as when the store offers no customer service at all? I mean, that's what none is; it's the lack of the very thing offered, and when you say you're second to none, that doesn't mean that you're first; it means that you're lower than nothing at all. Oh, I know, you're going to try to convince me otherwise because you see the inherent logic in the clichés and catchphrases that you parrot in the pursuit of creativity, but really. Trust me, I have a degree in philosophy. You're just wrong, and you can just as easily parrot some cliché or catchphrase that annoys me slightly less. Thank you, that is all. Book Report: The Two Minute Rule by Robert Crais (2006) Well, it's been a year and a half since I read a Robert Crais novel (The Forgotten Man). I'd even forgotten this book existed, since it was behind a wall of unread books on my to read shelves. Now that I have a couple extra book cases, I have spread these books out, and it appeared. I wasn't that pleased with Crais's later offerings leading up to this book, but I was very happy with this book. It centers on a convicted bank robber getting out and integrating into society. However, on the day before he gets out, his estranged son, an LAPD officer, is gunned down. The official story doesn't make sense, and the ex-con turns to the FBI agent who put him away, now retired, for help. Together, they try to find out why four police officers allowed someone to come up to them in a secluded riverbed without suspicion. They determine that the officers were looking for sixteen million dollars in unrecovered bank heist loot. Once they found it, a fifth man eliminated his partners. Someone in the police force wants the ex-con to be re-con to protect himself and his retirement. The pace moves along well, the characters are interesting, and I rather liked the book. I got it as a gift from my beautiful wife, and it's probably worth the money if you want to click the link below. And based on this book, maybe I'll even read any new Elvis Cole novels. Friday, October 20, 2006
Inventive Scam We Might Have Seen SJ woman accused of house burglaries:
Police said today that they had arrested Susan Hjeltness on suspicion of stealing more than $200,000 worth of porcelain figurines, jewelry and other items after touring homes in the Silver Creek Valley Country Club area of San Jose during real-estate open houses and property showings. Hjeltness, along with her 13-year-old son and an adult male companion, would pose as prospective buyers and tour homes, police said. They would steal items during the walkthrough or would unlock a door or window and return later, Detective Corey Green said. In either case, it was a realtor with a lack of attention to detail. Jeez. How Much Is Too Much? Probably no such thing if it's on the public dime. To chase a niche market, Milwaukee "District" officials want to expand the convention center again:
Franklyn Gimbel said the region's ability to attract what he called a "gangbuster" convention was diminished compared with recent years because of the lack of hotel rooms in the area and the size of the convention center. The center was last expanded at the end of 1999, when the building's exhibit hall was increased to 189,000 square feet. When the center first opened in 1998, its supporters said it would put Milwaukee in the big leagues. Color me skeptical. However, on the plus side, "district" officials are unelected and ultimately unaccountable to the public, so they're in no jeopardy of consequences for being so wrong, so often, so expensively, so they'll be free to continue pursuing more no matter how much they get. Thursday, October 19, 2006
Capitalist Wants To Be A Crony Pabst owner to ask city for $28.6 million: Developer plans housing, hotel, offices:
Get a freaking loan like the rest of us. The Song Sounds Familiar A former World of Warcrafter laments on how the game ruins lives. He enumerates the fundamental flaws:
And people put everything on the line for these accomplishments with which they associate much value. I know of children and spouses being forced to play and grind for their parents, threats of divorce, rampant neglect, failing grades in school, and thousands of dollars spent on "outsourcing" foreign help. For what, you ask? Honor. The desire to be the best for at least one week.... The accomplishment and sacrifice itself are meaningless a few days later. Then it's usually off to the races again.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Drink a Beer, Own a Gun, Go to Jail? New charges filed in father's shooting of 6-year-old:
(1) Carries concealed upon or about his or her person a knife, a firearm, a blackjack or any other weapon readily capable of lethal use; or (2) Sets a spring gun; or (3) Discharges or shoots a firearm into a dwelling house, a railroad train, boat, aircraft, or motor vehicle as defined in section 302.010, RSMo, or any building or structure used for the assembling of people; or (4) Exhibits, in the presence of one or more persons, any weapon readily capable of lethal use in an angry or threatening manner; or (5) Possesses or discharges a firearm or projectile weapon while intoxicated; Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Reminder For The Relocated As a reminder to those who have recently relocated to the St. Louis area (Mr. Lawrence, Mr. Williams, I mean you), the local baseball team's name has only two syllables. St. Louis Cardnals. Pronounce that I, and people will know you're from somewhere else riding the bandwagon. The Title Sounded Promising Arms Without Borders. I mean, it sounds like Doctors Without Borders or Reporters Without Borders; however, Arms Without Borders isn't about the free exchange of small arms. Quite the opposite. (Link seen on The Volokh Conspiracy.) Monday, October 16, 2006
Et Tu, Missouri? No voter identification here:
A lower judge ruled last month that the ID requirement was an unconstitutional infringement on the fundamental right to vote. The Supreme Court agreed in a 6-1 unsigned opinion. The law required voters to present a photo identification card issued by Missouri or the federal government to cast a ballot starting with the November election. Opponents argued people impersonating others when voting is rare, and that the ID requirement would especially harm the poor, elderly and disabled who may be less likely to have a driver's license. Coming Next: A Tax on Monopoly Transactions Virtual economies attract real-world tax attention:
"Right now we're at the preliminary stages of looking at the issue and what kind of public policy questions virtual economies raise -- taxes, barter exchanges, property and wealth," said Dan Miller, senior economist for the Joint Economic Committee of the U.S. Congress. "You could argue that to a certain degree the law has fallen (behind) because you can have a virtual asset and virtual capital gains, but there's no mechanism by which you're taxed on this stuff," he told Reuters in a telephone interview.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Wherein Heather Scores 100 I only got 2 of 16, but I bet my beautiful wife does better: Guess That Hair Band (Link seen on Ace of Spades HQ.) Amendment .viv Here's how Amendment I of the United States Constitution used to read:
The Board of Aldermen had denied Hogan and the Lions Club a parade permit earlier this month, but Hogan said lack of a permit wouldn't stop the parade. Lions clubs are holding numerous events this weekend to raise money for charitable causes. Officers who handcuffed Hogan and took him to the station called the arrest "unfortunate" but said they had no choice. "We have to do our job," said Police Chief Shawn Tyler after the arrest. Hogan was cited for unlawful assembly and released after about 30 minutes. His fine could range from $100 to $1,000, Tyler said.
Speaking From Personal Experience Using a conditioner that labels itself a "volumizer" won't actually thicken your thinning hair nor cover your bald spots. On the other hand, when I toss my hair flirtatiously, it makes a wooshy windswept sound. Book Report: The Way to Dusty Death by Alistair MacLean (1973) This is my second Alistair MacLean of the year (the first, as you remember, was The Golden Gate in August. Both stem from the 1970s, which based upon the evidence of these two texts might represent the phoning-it-in period for MacLean. The book starts out with an race car crash in the European Grand Prix circuit. The reigning champion apparently has lost his nerve and become an alcoholic. However, he seems to have some hidden agenda, for while he's putting on the show, he's sneaking around and investigating something. MacLean doesn't really draw us into his investigations or quickly identify the real meat of the story--Harrow has gone underground or underdog to find out who's gambling on the races and fixing them by sabotauging cars while selling heroin. The reader goes along mainly because it's an Alistair MacLean book and something's going to happen. It does, and then the book ends abruptly. Not MacLean's best effort, and not even as good as Floodgate, which draws the user into the plot if not the characters. The Way to Dusty Death does neither, really. Where Metaphors Fail We talk about making sacrifices in our lives and our working world, using figures of speech such as taking one for the team or jumping on the grenade. Some say this makes our language richer, to use metaphors to express concepts in a colorful way. Hey, as an writer, I'm all in favor of it. However, when those colorful metaphors become cliches bantered about too easily, we forget the powerful sacrifice of those who do it literally:
Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael A. Monsoor had been near the only door to the rooftop structure Sept. 29 when the grenade hit him in the chest and bounced to the floor, said four SEALs who spoke to The Associated Press this week on condition of anonymity because their work requires their identities to remain secret. "He never took his eye off the grenade, his only movement was down toward it," said a 28-year-old lieutenant who sustained shrapnel wounds to both legs that day. "He undoubtedly saved mine and the other SEALs' lives, and we owe him." (Link seen on Outside the Beltway.) |
To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."
"I will." Heather L. Igert, angelweave.mu.nu "Genuis." Neil Steinberg, Chicago Sun-Times "Some wanker." Kim du Toit, on the Noggle Library. "Brian J. Noggle apparently forgot that the proper design for a tin foil beanie calls for the shiny side out." Robb Allen, Sharp as a Marble. "I'm weeping openly right now. Thanks for hurting my feelings, pinhead." Bob Rybarcyzk, St. Louis Post-Dispatch Instapundit Protein Wisdom Ace of Spades HQ Wizbang! Outside the Beltway Robert B. 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