RIP Alexander McQueen

FILE - In this Oct. 6, 2009 file photo, a model presents a creation by British fashion designer Alexander McQueen for his Ready to Wear Spring Summer 2010 fashion collection, presented in Paris. McQueen was found dead at his London home on Thursday, Feb. 11, 2010, his spokeswoman said. He was 40 years old. (AP Photo/Michel Euler, file)

Quickie: OK, OK, OK

(AFP)

If I mention these two stories will people stop emailing me about them and posting links to them in the comments? Yes? Great!

• Somebody somewhere threw a shoe at somebody. This mainly demonstrates that trendy British bandwagon jumpers ruin everything. The insistence that I "cover" this story also demonstrates that people really don't get what I'm writing about when I write about the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance.
• Condi gave Will Ferrell a lap dance or something. Wait, what? Watch out for that scissor-action, Will! The insistence that I cover this story demonstrates that people really don't believe I do daily Google News searches for the word "Condoleezza."

EDIT: Picture of a puppy in a mixing bowl added to mitigate the bitchiness of this post.

Follow-Up: Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance™ Suffers Setback... or Does It?

(AP Photo) (Note: more detail! Yay!)

Oh! I missed this sad tale from Saturday. It's short, so here's AP's report:

BAGHDAD, Sat Jan 31 – The director of an Iraqi orphanage says a sculpture honoring an Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at former President George W. Bush has been removed.

Fatin al-Nassiri says Iraqi police told her the statue had to be removed from the orphanage in Tikrit because government property should not be used for something with a political bias.

She says the sofa-sized statue of a shoe was taken down on Saturday after being unveiled on Thursday.

Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zeidi threw his shoes during a Dec. 14 news conference in Baghdad. Throwing shoes at someone is a sign of extreme contempt in Arab culture.

Political bias? Don't they know that the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance is for everybody? And that the targets of the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance can by anybody? Hrrmmph. In any event, it's now obvious why the artist claimed the other day that the sculpture wasn't political, a statement I found puzzling and hilarious at the time. Bonus points for AP's continued use of the arcane art historical term sofa-size.

But if the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance participants are savvy, they'll try to gin up a little support for the censored monument, attempt to transform it into a succès de scandale. This could be their Nude Descending a Staircase, their déjeuner sur l'herbe, if they play their cards right.

What these guys need is a publicist. Cindy McCain's over there now, right? Perfect fit!

Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance™ Enters Henry Moore Phase

Girls stand next to a sculpture of a shoe that serves as a monument to the shoes thrown at then-US president George W. Bush in Tikrit, 130 kilometers (80 miles) north of Baghdad, Iraq, Thursday, Jan. 29, 2009. The shoe-hurling last month at Bush spawned a flood of Web quips, political satire and street rallies across the Arab world. Now, it's inspired a work of art. (AP Photo)

Fantastic! It's funny that the AP caption says "Now, it's inspired a work of art," because Pony Pals know that the shoe-tossing event started inspiring works of art mere moments after it occurred. The gigantic loafer is made of copper, so it should be an enduring symbol of Bush's folly for years to come. Some more info from AP:

A sofa-sized sculpture — a single copper-coated shoe on a stand carved to resemble flowing cloth — was formally unveiled to the public Thursday in the hometown of the late Iraqi ruler Saddam Hussein.

Officials and visitors walked around the outdoor sculpture during the brief ceremony, pondering on its eccentricities — such as a tree poking up from the shoe's interior.

[...]

"This monument ... will remain a present for the forthcoming generations," said Fatin Abdul-Qadir al-Nasiri, director of a Tikrit orphanage whose children helped fashion the sculpture. "(They) will remember the story of the hero (al-Zeidi) who bid farewell to the U.S. president ... in such a way.

Yay! A public unveiling ceremony! AP also has video, but I must say that I'm totally baffled by the artist's statement that "It's not a political work." Whatever, I'm just thrilled that the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance has produced its first durable monument. Two sparkley hooves way up!

They All Look the Same to Me, Too

A student of Raza Academy, a Muslim rights and educational organization, touches a shoe to the head of a stuffed dog wearing a mask resembling the outgoing U.S. President George W. Bush during a demonstration in Mumbai to mark the end of Bush's presidency January 20, 2009. REUTERS/Arko Datta (INDIA)

I was afraid the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance was totally succumbing to dullness and repetition, but this late entry is quite sophisticated and bizarre, obviously inspired by Mike Kelley's innovative work with plush toys.

So, you know, A for effort and everything, but somebody's gotta tell that kid that he's got the wrong George Bush! What's H.W. ever done to him? Tsk.

BUSH and THE SHOE Become ONE

Indian Muslims display a giant-sized caricature of President George W. Bush and posters of Iraqi journalist Mutadhar Al-Zaidi, who threw his shoes at Bush, as they shout slogans during a protest against Israel's assaults on Gaza, in Hyderabad, India, Friday, Jan. 16, 2009. (AP Photo/Mahesh Kumar A)

Every time I think I'm totally over the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance, I get dragged back in by a new masterpiece. This drawing is superb, a unique combination of caricature and fine representational drawing. So ingenious using the laces for ears!

Oh, the whole entire world is going to miss Bush so much.

Shoe Art Update

A shoe and red paint is seen on the street near the United States consulate after a demonstration organised to protest at the Israeli involvement in the conflict in Gaza, in Edinburgh, Scotland January 10, 2009. REUTERS/David Moir (BRITAIN)

I kinda got bored with the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance™ and didn't pay attention for a few days, but this one really is too good to let pass. The American Flag Chuck Taylor is an excellent touch, calling to mind Jasper Johns' flag paintings, but the rest is pure abstract expressionism in the vein of Franz Kline or Jackson Pollock. Great image!

Fabuloso! Arte da Sapata em Brasil! Outra Vez!

A man throws a shoe to the U.S. Embassy, during a protest against Israel's military strikes on the Gaza Strip, in Rio de Janeiro, Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. (AP Photo/Silvia Izquierdo)

OK, so you might want to carry an umbrella for the next couple of weeks, because shoes are flying through the air everywhere, all over the world. They are just plain not only for feet anymore, that's all.

Pssst! Hey, Little Girl! Have You Thought About the Middle Eastern Art Market? Tremendous Opportunities Await!

A young shoe vendor waits for customers at the Central Market in Phnom Penh, Cambodia Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009. As the global economy is expected to slow Cambodia is expected to feel the effects. (AP Photo/David Longstreath)

Shoe Art is So Hot Everywhere Right Now That I Left One Out. So Here's Brazil with the Protesting & the Shoes.

Demonstrators throw shoes against pictures of U.S. President George W. Bush during a protest against Israel's military strikes on Gaza in Sao Paulo, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. (AP Photo/Nelson Antoine)

Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance™ Jumps the... Atlantic!

Players of Israel's Bnei Hasharon warm up as a shoe thrown by a protester lies on the court before their ULEB Eurocup Group D basketball game with Turkey's Turk Telekom in Ankara January 6, 2009. The basketball game was suspended on Tuesday after Turkish fans erupted in protests against the Israeli offensive in the Gaza Strip, Turkish media reported. A referee suspended the game and ordered the players back to the dressing room after hundreds of Turkish fans began chanting "Israel, killers!" in an Ankara sports centre, SkyTurk broadcaster reported. REUTERS/Umit Bektas (TURKEY)

As much as I'm enjoying the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance, it's a little disappointing to see how quickly it's devolving, beset by bandwagon-jumpers and johnny-come-latelys. How long, I wonder, before some clever entrepreneur comes up with the one-size-fits-all shoe expressly –and cheaply!– produced for protest purposes, neither wearability nor durability required? Can I buy ad space on one?

Wouldn't it have been great if the original shoe-tosser had been a lady reporter? And it had been a pump? Seriously, the imagery would just be better. Or, ha ha, what if she had thrown her handbag at Bush, and the above photo would show some random, like, Judith Leiber sequined squirrel sitting incongruously at mid-court. Funnier!

Anyway, wow, I'm really rambling, so right, yes, as I said in the title, the whole thing has successfully crossed the Atlantic because here's some people from a protest maybe still happening right now in New York City:

Protesters carry a picture of Mayor Michael Bloomberg with a shoe stuck in it at a rally near city hall in support of Gaza and against Mayor Michael Bloomberg's support of Israel in New York, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009. (AP Photo/Seth Wenig)

Hmm, so OK, you make a sign with a big face on it and then hot-glue-gun some random shoe on it. Maybe the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance is growing a bit tiresome, after all? But... well, no, because I work the waterfront when it comes to shoe-centric news, if you know what I mean, so what's a pony to do? And how long will it last? Will shoe iconography endure in protest art for many years to come, a versatile shorthand symbol of "DO NOT LIKE" for our grandchildren and their grandchildren? Maybe the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance is only in its infancy, far from waning, ready to embark upon a glorious Mannerist phase, decadent and over-stylized, lewd and grotesque. In other words, maybe there will be a great Fellini of the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance! Or Pasolini! Neat!

Or am I hoping for too much? It's really just going to be a lot of shoes hot-glue-gunned onto posters, or just simply hoisted up into the air, a disappointingly minimalist gesture seen this morning in Nicaragua:

(AP Photo)

So I guess you could say I'm still interesting in the MESAR, but I pine for its missed opportunities...

...I mean, come on. All this would have been so much better if a chick had tossed a slingback in the first place.

Tsk.

Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance™ Spreads to the Philippines

Protesters display a huge shoe effigy prior to hurling it at the Israeli Embassy at Manila's financial district of Makati city on Tuesday Jan. 6, 2009 in continuing protest against Israeli attacks in Gaza. Protesters condemned both Israel and the United States for the alleged 'brutal and bloody all-out military invasion of Gaza' and urge the United Nations to sanction Israel for bombings. (AP Photo/Bullit Marquez)

It's barely 6AM and already a banner day for the MESAR. This event, obviously, reminds one again of Claes Oldenberg, but this coordinated absurdist street activity is unmistakably patterned more after the work of Oldenberg's cohort, Happenings conductor Allen Kaprow. And, thus, another obscure movement is revived by the crafty shoe artists.

Here they are hurling their creation:

Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance™ MEGAPOST!!

OMG, this is just totally my fave story of the year so far. The fabulous MESAR™ movement is gaining both complexity and geographical distribution. Starting with today and working backwards, let's go to Ramallah:

A Palestinian demonstrator displays a shoe on a banner showing Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, left, and Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak, during a protest against Israel's military operation in Gaza, in the West Bank city of Ramallah, Monday, Jan. 5, 2009. Israeli forces pounded Gaza Strip houses, mosques and tunnels on Monday from the air, land and sea, killing at least seven children and six other civilians, as they consolidated a bruising land offensive against Palestinian militants. (AP Photo/Muhammed Muheisen)

Quite nice! We've gotten used to mainly seeing contemporary inspirations upon the new shoe artists, so it's refreshing to see such a quaintly archaizing form, almost like an Early Netherlandish diptych. Ah, but our tour is just starting. Next up, Tehran, where we find this kinda Lichtenstein-meets-Rauschenberg creation:

January 5, 2009. REUTERS/Raheb Homavandi (IRAN)

And next, we're on to Barcelona, where a sizable shoe art happening...um... happened yesterday. I really love the Arte Povera-like minimalism in the Spanish shoe artwork:

REUTERS/Gustau Nacarino(SPAIN)

I swear, if you just covered that whole thing in white plaster, people would think it was a real Paolini.

Here's where the whole thing gets freaky. Remember about how Bill "Papa Bear" Richardson was going to be secretary of commerce and everything until he wasn't? And they said it was because of some grand jury thingee or something? Well, the real reason is that he was photographed at a violent shoe art demonstration in Australia (Australia!) on Sunday. I hope it was worth it, Bill:

(AP Photo/Mark Baker)

Australia! The Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance has become the Global Shoe Art Renaissance, and isn't it thrilling! And the best thing about it is that the movement is so adaptable. In some far-off lands, Bosnia for instance, they've charmingly tailored shoe art to meet their own needs, as in this case where local rulers were substituted for George Bush in a rousing public loafer-toss:

(AFP/Elvis Barukcic)

And as happens when anything anywhere gets trendy, eventually the Brits will find out about it:

A demonstrator throws a shoe near the Downing Street residence of Britain's Prime Minister Gordon Brown, during a protest against the Israeli attacks on Gaza at Trafalgar Square in London January 3, 2009. (Luke MacGregor/Reuters)

And naturally, if it's worth doing in London, it's worth overdoing:

(Reuters)

God, so totally fun! Where will shoe art erupt next?

Condi Finally Dragged into Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance

Turks set an effigy of U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice on fire, with a shoe fixed to her head, as they shout slogans during protest against Israel's attacks against the Gaza Strip, in Istanbul, Turkey, Sunday, Dec. 28, 2008. Several thousands of protesters carrying Palestinian flags chanted anti-Israel and anti-U.S. slogans and called for an end of Israel's attacks against Gaza. (AP Photo/Ibrahim Usta)

I knew it was only a matter of time, but it doesn't make it any less thrilling!

And again the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance™ defies expectations. First we saw the homages to Oldenburg and Rauschenberg, then Jeff Koons, so naturally I thought the forward momentum through art history would continue. I envisioned perhaps a shoey Damien Hirst, either encrusted with diamonds or suspended in formaldehyde, or maybe a Chris Ofili tribute dotted with elephant dung. But no! They've gone back to the 1930s and found inspiration from an unlikely source: Elsa Schiaparelli's famous Shoe Hat, her wonderful collaboration with Salvador Dali (memorably referenced by Terry Gilliam in Brazil). And then, like another great modernist, Edward Steichen, they immediately grew disaffected with their creation and set it on fire.

I'm through trying to predict the future of this delightful art movement. Like the rest of you, all I can do is sit back and wait for whatever marvels lie ahead.

EDIT: Condi's praising the Bush legacy some more. A+! Two Ferragamos way up!

Here's Your Bush Shoe. Do Not Want

Ramazan Baydan, owner of the Baydan Shoes factory, poses in Istanbul with a newly produced copy of the shoe (dubbed "Bush Shoes") that was thrown at US president George Bush by an Iraqi journalist on December 14, 2008. The maker of the shoe has had to take on 100 extra staff to cope with a surge in demand for his footwear (AFP)

OK, so here is The Shoe. The Shoe is unusually ugly and unfashionable. The Shoe may be purchased, I suppose, as a keepsake, but do not let The Shoe anywhere near your feet. The Shoe is an eminently suitable projectile, but it is not acceptable footwear. You must resist thinking otherwise. Do not allow your mind to be clouded.

Sabotage

Pakistani protesters hold up shoes and caracatures of U.S. President George W. Bush during a demonstration in support of Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zeidi in Lahore, Pakistan, Sunday, Dec. 21, 2008. Dozens of protestors gathered to demand the release of Al-Zaidi, who threw his shoes at U.S. President George W. Bush during a news conference in Iraq on Sunday, Dec. 14. (AP Photo/K.M. Chaudary)

I speculated yesterday that the Middle Eastern shoe art renaissance could possibly lead to the rise of a Kuwaiti Jasper Johns or an Afghan Jim Dine. What I meant to say, of course, was that it would lead to a whole troop of Pakistani Jeff Koons (Koonses?). I regret the error.

Shoe-Inspired Mid-East Art Renaissance Continues

A Jordanian protestor holds up a picture of U.S. President George W. Bush with a shoe fixed on it, during a demonstration in support of Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zeidi in Amman, Jordan, Saturday, Dec. 20, 2008. Dozens of protestors gathered to demand the release of Al-Zaidi, who threw his shoes at U.S. President George W. Bush during a news conference in Iraq on Sunday, Dec. 14. (AP Photo/Nader Daoud)

I pointed out yesterday that the popular shoe hurling incident had unexpectedly given birth to the Turkish Claes Oldenburg. Now, as you can see above, it has also had the happy payoff of a Jordanian Robert Rauschenberg. I can't wait for the Kuwaiti Jasper Johns and the Afghan Jim Dine. Good times!

Bush Haters Worldwide Finally Have Their Unifying Symbol

A Turkish leftist holds a model of shoe as he marches to the U. S. embassy to protest against the invasion in Iraq and to express the solidarity with Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zeidi, in Ankara, Turkey, Thursday, Dec. 18, 2008. (AP Photo/Burhan Ozbilici)

So creative! Indeed, al-Zeidi performed a valuable public service by providing pretty much the entire world with a single, potent symbol of dislike for our dreadful outgoing president. Well done! Also from yesterday's demonstration in Turkey:

(AP Photo/Burhan Ozbilici)

And the offers are pouring in:

Also Friday, the head of a large West Bank family said it is willing to offer one of its eligible females as a bride for al-Zeidi. The leader, 75-year-old Ahmad Salim Judeh, said that the 500-member clan had raised $30,000 for al-Zeidi's legal defense.

Something tells me al-Zeidi isn't going to suffer much more, and then afterward... jackpot!

(Reuters)

He should be at least as celebrated as the guy who created the Obama logo. The shoe thing is really funny! I wonder if they know it could be a potent anti-Condi symbol as well? It's always all about the shoes, people, as I've been saying all along:

(Reuters)

Shoes in the News

In this image from APTN video, a man, centre throws a shoe at US President George W. Bush, background left, during a news conference with Iraq Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, Sunday, Dec. 14, 2008, in Baghdad, Iraq. On an Iraq trip shrouded in secrecy and marred by dissent, President George W. Bush on Sunday hailed progress in the war that defines his presidency and got a size-10 reminder of his unpopularity when a man hurled two shoes at him during a news conference. (AP Photo)

You can search the shoes, but the shoes themselves remain a formidable projectile. More images from the sequence:

Dana Perino got a black eye! Two sparkley hooves way up for the brave shoe hurler!