but the feeling just cannot be put into words.
it feels as if i'm not existing right now and whirled into my own world.
sidetracking, today's band practice cum tune-in.
disappointed with myself.
hate the fact that i'm not doing anything when i know what're the problems with myself.
the motivation disappeared, the passion froze.
i lost the feeling of what i used to feel years ago.
my mind is not strong enough to carry out actions in this current state.
sorry for delayed posts. (are there even more than 3 people reading this now?)
will try to update them asap.
shall give myself some reflection time tonight.
sleep when i'm tired of thinking.
till then; 1:19 AM
Friday, May 14, 2010
Il est trois heures du soir.it is 3am (french).
shit man, numbers are killing me.
adding on, i have no mood for tests this week.
i didn't study for today's calculus test and hopefully it'd be good.
i'm studying aimlessly for tmr's french culture test and hope i'll pass although it's mcq.
i need to get lecture 1's notes! ):
i had to do pbl-style for numbers 0 to 19 on youtube (by a frog)..
my jap is like CUI now.
but i'm very satisfied with my results for the test since i was missing lessons and making-up lessons due to nypaw rehearsals.
i need to revise but i don't have time because...
I FACEBOOK/GAME TOO MUCH!
need to control, self-discipline argh.
and time management.
there're projects due within the next 2 weeks too.
then mid-sem tests are in 2 weeks.
wtf means i won't ever settle myself down until june.
OHHH THEN JULY'S COMING, then i won't be able to settle down until august?!?!
EH WAIT NO I HAVE YOG IN AUGUST.
i shall just settle down after this semester. -.-
nooooo time is passing too quickly, slow down slow down!
seriously, i've been wasting my time doing nonsense stuff since school reopened.
i have many things i want to catch up on.. ):
1. i haven't been practising my strokes for months
2. i haven't finished packing my room (it takes forever)
3. i haven't thought of an amazing idea for my entrepreneurship assignment
school work's fine other than the tests this week.
i'm so fed-up with myself cos i've been procrastinating every night to interact with my drumsticks and drumpad but it hasn't happened.
ohmy i'm wasting so much time.
i dislike being too free because i'd be wasting more time instead..
okay i'm going to reflect on this over the weekend.
meanwhile try to get some things done.
i told myself to be prepared for july's (and august's) hectic schedule but i'm not doing it.
rarrrr back to french, night.
till then; 2:56 AM
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
i felt bad.but all the scams has made me lost trust in human.
i feel very sorry for all those who really need help out there, now i can't differentiate between those who need genuine sympathy and those who are out to cheat. losers.
even though she just wanted to borrow $2 from me, i really only had 30 cents left.
then i started imagining an old woman being stuck at the bus stop at midnight.
luckily she managed to borrow coins from the other woman i think.
i've changed my perception.
from: never be soft-hearted to passer-bys who seek your help.
to: it won't hurt if it's a small amount of money like that $2, at least it is a good deed to you.
but still, those fuckers with no integrity really piss me off.
hello, i bet their karma level is much higher than me gossiping.
and sorry, no karma reset for you all! go accumulate till you go boomz.
what is the society becoming of now?
but i'm still going to ignore most passer-bys who pester me.
i wasted my pay for one month on some don't-know-what-drink months ago, and my pay for that month was pathetic enough.
AND I'M STILL WTF-ING ABOUT THEM CHEATING ME, saying it's to do a survey.
kns the survey cost me half an hour and $75?
sorry to harmless passer-bys if i ignore you in future/ignored since then.
this is called stereotyping.
on the other hand, i just thought of why the people do that.
maybe they have no choice too?
okay whatever i shouldn't be thinking about this now/tonight!!!
i have newspaper article analysis, tutorials and projects to do.
deadlines coming up.
i need to practise too! shit.
band for the following 3 nights till 10pm, reach home at 11.30pm?
okay prioritise.
even if i stay up for the whole night, i won't be able to finish all of them. hur.
so, byee. off to bathe first.
till then; 1:24 AM
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Singapore Wind SymphonyStars and Stripes - SWS Goes to America
Beautiful Sunday Series
12th April 2009, Sunday
Esplanade Concert Hall
3pm (1 hour)
Free admission
Repertoire:
Cole Porter: A Symphonic Portrait (Wayne Robinson)
An Outdoor Overture (Aaron Copland)
Benny Goodman in Concert (Wayne Scott)
Cuban Overture (George Gershwin)
Amazing Grace (Frank Ticheli)
The Cowboys (John Williams)
Stars and Stripes Forever (John Philip Sousa)
encore... don't know yet either.
for more, visit:
http://swsym.wordpress.com/
http://www.esplanade.com/whats_on/programme_info/stars_and_stripes/index.jsp
well, from past experiences, people are kiasu enough to queue at 1.30pm.
so do come earlier if you don't want to stand outside and watch from the tv..
cos for 2006's sws beautiful sunday i did. -.-
random: tokyo metropolitan symphony orchestra! cooolszsxz.
getting the tickets
restaurant city, with all my crew. (:
which is currently under maintenance, again.
i finally remembered to hire myself! HAHAHA.
oh the 2 Angs cooking is my brother and i. aha.
okay it's late now.
late: relative to what time i have to wake up tmr..
catching tmr's syf, to hear 3 bands. lol.
gotta wake up at 6+am!
haven't woke up so early in a long time..
the last time was during my 2 warehouse day job in february?
and maybe it's good that it's the last day of seconday schools syf..
but maybe it won't help in relieving ____.
updating myself with these 2 days' results only made me feel more ____.
fill in the blanks yourself lah.
or you want my answers ask me. lol.
i'd been ranting quite alot.. anywhere, but here. oops.
t-s-k.
today, i found out that i grew with the kids.
it's pretty enriching and entertaining.
there really is a sense of achievement somewhere.
eg. i revised my inequalities today. [and i actually miss maths! anymore maths for me?]
at least it's not like i hated maths.. i thought it was okay.
sorry but i
eh this is getting out of point.
so all in all, i learnt new things today. (:
and i'm going to sleep now..
time: 2.25am. [i edited this post from afternoon]
oyasumi.
Labels: beautiful sunday, concert advertisement, facebook, random, reflect, screenshot, sws
till then; 2:54 PM
Thursday, March 19, 2009
your feelings get pretty mixed up when you start bloghopping to many's blogs.maybe it's just that i haven't been thinking for a long time, been leading a rather simple life doing what i want.
happy you may call it.
but i may rather not think too deeply.
the truth can be hurtful, but one may choose to move forward.
sigh all these was disturbing for awhile.
but i guess my thoughts got tangled up and disappeared.
there was another disturbing thought too but i guess it's my own problem..
sometimes you really don't know whether to live in reality or delusion.
so, to anyone reading this now, it's not just about one single thing but a few altogether.
it's just too complicated to link them all in one before i manage to sort them out. (which i don't think i'll after i wake up from my sleep -.-)
well, i don't know if thinking if healthy.
or do you call this emo?
the emo and reflective mood hasn't been with me for quite some time.
i guess it's dropping by tonight.
maybe i should pay more attention to the surroundings.
instead of drama-ing, sleeping, eating etc. living in my own bubble.
i should at least observe others from my own bubble?
till then; 1:47 AM
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
at 2am last night ...after cooking maggie mee, i wanted to carry the bowl to my room.
then the soup was too full so..
it poured on my left hand.
hottt.
i wanted to put it down then..
it poured on my right hand.
hottt + hotttttt.
it was fucking pain ahhh.
that i almost cried.
feeling so helpless at the same time.
the thought of no one being there to help you at any point of time scared me.
not only then, but any time..
what if there were no friends and family?
*okay it got a bit out of point..
also, i thought.
what if i can't hold a pen and study huh? [symptons of evolving into a mugger]
what if i can't hold drumsticks? how to playyy.
ya and since my left hand was being scalded lesser, i thought of changing to a left hander for a few days.. -.-
*it got out of point..
bah it also came to me.. what if i lose any of my senses?
hahaha okay, one injury can make me think so much.
maybe it stimulated my nerve connecting to the brain..
wah so i hope i'm smarter now.. lol wait long long..
*i dont see any link now..
so yeah, i tried to remember what they taught us in primary school. aha!
during safe & secure or something.. HAHA.
but i think they only taught us what to do when you get burnt by fire?
then wow i couldn't hold the chopsticks to eat.
like my flesh was being cut and chopped below my skin. 0.o
i could just spend the whole night running my fingers under tap water.
until i couldn't tahan so i woke my mummy up to save me and yeah she kinda did. (:
finished up my maggie mee holding the chopsticks in weird positions..
was supposed to study.
but didnt since i couldn't really hold a pen properly. -.-
so i went to sleep instead..
and hope that it'd be better today if not...
I'M GOING TO GET MC FROM STUDYING!
HAHAAA... -.-
last night.
right hand this morning. not as red..
and this is weird cos i remember pouring the soup on my left hand (first) and it's fine and healthy..
okay i think i'm blogging too much.. too longwinded too..
shall not blog anymore today! and try to refrain on any other days..
shall try to hold a pen and study later..
haaa.
till then; 12:43 PM
Saturday, May 17, 2008
there's no such thing as making perfect choices.you gain and you lose no matter what choices you choose.
and i see no point in lying..
Labels: reflect
till then; 1:19 PM
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
geog test: screwed, again.i have the diagrams in my mind, but the thing is i forgot which diagrams belonged to limestone and granite. -.-
oh and i only studied rocks. hahaha.
so the part a on volcanoes i wrote using information at the back of my mind somewhere in the recycling bin..
ha so irsyad weicong and i decided to find ms sim for consultation during the hols. LOL.
after band was band. (lol?)
sectionals was... err you can't possibly want us to sectionals one song for 3 hours?
i mean you'll like get bored and stuff, maybe.
oh and we're playing for band fiesta at botanical gardens in july.
the day before is like eco-carnival. packed packed.
and jap band's coming after that..! (:
i think my july weekends are 75% booked. 0.o
anyway i was quite satisfied with my timpani songs today. ha.
followed the changing of notes part i wrote.. but tuning was still disgusting omg.
but i think rp timpani is going to make my life better. hahaha! :D
on the other hand, i screwed up purcell variants like nothing.
argh it could even be the last time we play that song before concert.. and i'm still not playing it right and nice.
still cant get the ritard bars on time despite alfri telling me orient express all the time. aha.
the feeling is so.. irritating and frustruating and worrying.
sighhh.
after some thoughts, i concluded that i dont practice as hard now.
the worst thing is i'm also not studying hard now.
so i guess i'm sleeping hard and stoning hard.
what a sad/bad life.
i should practice and study hard man.
oh well.
and i realised i haven't ate since my chicken rice, with added rice, at 1pm.
other than biting my kitkat i bought before band and huici's chipsmore..
my mummy cooked maggie mee for me. i was too lazy to cook just now. X:
oh one more thing before my maggie mee.
wah my back has been aching this week..
getting old? lousy body?
maybe soon i'll have aches all over my body.. sheesh!
byee.
Labels: band, geography, reflect
till then; 11:03 PM
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
first post of year 2008.i shall have a year 2007 recap post of significant events.
2007 countdown!
i spent my first second of 2007 at ruixian's house. haha.
we had countdown! with livia and ma de lin :D
MI orientation
school started..
got used to training down to MI [millennia institute] at 6.15am.
og was ohana2!
honestly, i only remember less than 10 of my ogmates' names.
but still remember a few other's faces.. OHNO, what're their names!
day 1: no mood to socialise.
day 2: made some friends.
day 3: sent home early in the morning after assembly..
reason - indefinite suspension due to failed hair check. this was what we were told to write on the early leave form. HAHAHA.
so i only had day 2 to get to know my ogmates!
got posted to our classes after orientation: 07a2!
there were a few from my og who were in the same class as me.
from then on, i was called ahching. as originated from jas.
the class did everything together.
occupying 4 tables and 8 benches, half for us and the rest for our bags. (:
then ponned lessons together. for eg, chinese and double geog [i ponned almost all].
well i pon school like nobody's business too. about twice a week, usually long days.. or when i dont feel like taking the 1hour train ride to school. X:
FEBRUARY 9
o level results.
i didnt expect much as long as i qualify for jc.
so i did, on the dot.
yeah so i improved by 12 points from prelims which was horrible.
didnt really bother about anything then.
[below is an ONLY picture i took on results day with unknown]
SRJC orientation. [one day]
the other 2 days were spent settling admin stuff about transferring.
quite a number of 07a2-ers were there! and some cedarians! and some hips people!
and there were familiar faces everywhere from mi. haha.
settled the transfer thingys and got into mj.
MARCH 17.
i had my first ever BAND-only concert in my life with sws main band - comworks.
it was an eye-opener for me!
under mr willy tan's intensive sectionals, we improved our percussion playing.
[an only picture with mr tan inside. lol]
MJC orientation.
made somemore friends!
atlas1 was the og. 07a101 was the class.
although it wasnt bonded then, we got more bonded over the few months in 2007. (:
APRIL 12.
cedar band had their syf. it was another silver..
reading from my archive, it just brought me back to my csb life. ohwell.
and yes medals dont matter that much do they?
MAY 11.
my first gold in syf!
despite our train crashing.
MAY 19.
cedar 50th anniversary!
omg this is cool and once in a lifetime! :D
went back to perform with the prom/graduation band.
another good performing experience. (:
JUNE 9.
swsyouth winds in concert II.
first concert with youth winds. (:
MIDYEARS.
lol results were screwed up like shit.
[promos was no better either]
JUNE 30 - JULY 1.
percussion'04 overnight kbox part II!
we had our first overnight kbox in february.
yeah so we had our great fun as usual and i miss and love them lots! :D
JULY 14.
phototaking at national stadium for cedarians!
where all our memories were kept.
AUGUST 12.
my first ever concert in esplanade concert hall !!
my dream came true. (:
and it was another superb experience yo!
promos was next and i missed playing for symphonic sounds because of that.
rarrr, and i missed it for NOTHING.
after that was pw all the way.
the longbaos entered my jc life :D
had 4 chalets over the holidays.
DECEMBER 28.
mjcsb juxtapose II.
well, my first proper BAND-only concert with school band!
it was just a few days ago..
and i can say that i didnt play my best. X:
screwed as it was, like forgetting to flip the score and knocking the rim out of nowhere.
2007 passed quickly.
2 incidents left me thinking more about life.
seriously, who knows when the people beside you or around you will be gone?
somehow, death is not within our ability to predict.
and most importantly, all of us only live once.
overall.
2007 was fruitful for me..
and in terms of percussion-playing. had 4 concerts this year! (:
the most contradicting thing is i only had 1 concert in 4 years previously. lol.
as for new year resolutions, one step at a time. ha.
like any other person, it will include academic prospect and band prospect. hohoho.
with some random prospects too luh..
yeah and i blogged this last night at 3am.
continued it tonight and it's 1st january 10.05pm now.
i dont want school to start! ):
think my class is a201 and WHAT i'm in triton. -.-
HAHAHA.
okay that's all.
have a great day tmr..
i still feel like i'm living in 2007.
goodnight! (:
Labels: 2007, recap, reflect, summary
till then; 3:05 AM
Thursday, September 20, 2007
as quoted from Tuesday, June 28, 2005 post."...damn slack. she was like sitting on the chair the whole lesson.. nvm mayb tts wad a english teacher's job is. baoyue had her show and tell. haha. no comments aniwae. then copy answers for hols hw.."
this is what everbody's been looking at when they searched and came to my blog.
not a very nice thing to see i know.
but i think that's the only post which appeared in google.
the reason why you could see this is because i used to blog my DAILY lessons. -.-
but anyway,
i took out my sec3 time table to double check if i'd remember wrongly that she taught us before in sec3 for english.
and yeah, the first thing i saw was her name.
i stoned on my bed for around 30 minutes messaging people.
then thought about how she used to pick on bao and i during lessons for us talking..
recalling the last time i saw her was at cedar's 50th anniversary, with a round tummy.
who'd expected it to happen?
so, 2 known deaths in a month.
first was small monkey and now mrs ng.
is life that fragile?
well, i guess you just wont know who's going to leave you and when.
so the best option is to have the best out of it when everyone's still around.
treasure is still the word.
sigh.
enough of the thoughts.
there's still promos in 4 more days.
i'm off to STUDY.
haven't really studied today.. and i got this 'i'm finished' feeling.
rest in peace, mrs serene ng.
bye.
Labels: life, reflect, rest in peace
till then; 12:08 PM
Thursday, September 06, 2007
ATTENTION TO ALL:feel free to jio me out to study, regardless of age, race, gender, religion, school, subject combi, height, weight, location (within singapore duh!) etc etc. (:
cant think of anymore. ha.
i'm serious!
i got stuck at home the whole day and you can say it was unproductive at all cos got the distractions which will distract me for the whole day.
but hor, i'm booked everyday till next monday.
school days are fine. at most study until 10pm. LOL.
anyway, saw small monkey's friendster. http://profiles.friendster.com/3517577
the comments left by his friends made me think more about life.
and it's like adding a comment and you wont know whether the person will ever see it.. unlike usually when we add comments, it's an exception that you wont get to see that person ever again.
life is just so fragile and full of unexpected happenings.
sighs, my mummy's nagging.
but i shall take it as bliss to be nagged at. -.-...
shall stick my face into my notes later. ):
bye.
till then; 11:11 PM
