A Second Cigar-Shaped UFO Ascending Over Mars - some independent observations

Inspired by this scoop.

The legendary chupacabra of Ratcliffe, Texas

An allegedly mythical creature, elusive for so many years, chupacabra was finally caught and exposed to the media, in a small town of Ratcliffe, Texas. Here it is, alive and in all its glory:

Here is the story of the capture, told by Jackie Stock, the spouse of chupacabra hunter:

"He saw this strange animal sitting up here eating corn," said Stock. “He called me to come and look, and I said, ‘Bubba that looks like a baby chupacabra.’”

Told what to do in no uncertain terms, Bubba has done it. And here is Jackie Stock, a remarkable woman who wasn't afraid to issue the right order at the right time:



Image of the obedient Bubba, the catcher of the chupacabra, doesn't appear in the article, obviously being superfluous to its purposes. As for the fate of the creature:

Mike Cox, spokesman for the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department said, "The land owner left a message on the warden's voice mail this morning that the animal had been euthanized."

Oh well, the meeting of minds was too short to bear fruit...

P.S. Due to time constrains and the pressure to go public, and error occurred in this article: the picture of Ms Stock was switched with the recording of the legendary chupacabra. I hope that a discerning reader noticed this and that any possible mental anguish was avoided.

Simon Parkes, a Labour councillor claims to have fathered alien child

And I don't see any reason to doubt the man, especially after seeing this picture:

After all, the caption says quite clearly: "Simon Parkes who will star in a documentary about his alien encounters". Being a documentary, it must be true.

Married father-of-three Simon Parkes, who represents Stakesby on Whitby Town Council, said his wife had rowed with him after revealing he had a child called Zarka with an alien he refers to as the Cat Queen.

I can see where the news may be a bit distressing for the spouse, but she must be more understanding, because a) the man is a politician, after all and b) he "also claims his 'real mother' is a 9ft green alien with eight fingers". One just cannot invent details that fine. Although - it may be interesting to know where exactly these eight fingers are located (of course, being an Elder and thus not totally alien - no pun intended - to the 6 ft and above reptilian E.T.s, my interest is not exactly idle).

Yes, I fully believe the man (or half-man, all things considered). As I believe that all politicians are conceived and sometimes born with direct participation of some kind of an alien or even two. And that the day should come when they will get up and leave us to our earthly devices.

Say amen to that, please.

Notifying my favourite Ufologists.

P.S. Zarka? Well, he is half-Brit anyway, and Brits usually stick to tradition, even an alien one.

Baltic UFO aliens rock!

Apparently.

Too bad.

UFO over Israel. Or, at least, in the general area.

This is what Ynet reports:

Read more »

It is legal to kill bigfoot in Texas

Here it is, black on (almost) white.

If the Commission does not specifically list an indigenous, nongame species, then the species is considered non-protected nongame wildlife, e.g., coyote, bobcat, mountain lion, cotton-tailed rabbit, etc. A non-protected nongame animal may be hunted on private property with landowner consent by any means, at any time and there is no bag limit or possession limit.

Uhu... clear enough.

I am looking for partners to organize hunting trips in Texas for a variety of species. We'll start, of course, with Sasquatch, Nessi and Yeti. Guns and ammo to rent, first aid kits and sleeping bags, assistance with field dressing and taxidermy. Signature on a waiver a must.

Via Lesley.

The little Russian drill that rocked the world

Of course calling the drill that has reached through 3,768 meters of ice to the Antarctic sub-glacial lake Vostok "little" is an understatement. After all, the drill didn't damage the Earth axis. But, compared to its size, it surely has shaken our fundamental beliefs.

After decades of drilling, Russian scientists have finally managed to pierce through Antarctica’s ice sheet to reveal the secrets of a unique sub-glacial lake, Vostok, that has been sealed there for the past 20 million years, a scientific source said on Monday.

And I don't mean all manner of prehistoric creatures that will be gradually raised from the lake to shock and awe many a modern biologist.

What I have in mind is the Truth. To start with, the Russian (RIA Novosti) article linked above begins with a lie, i.e. "After decades of drilling" means diddly squat. Russians are futzing around Antarctica for decades indeed, and they have decided to go public only after all the Nazi goodies they could put their grubby mitts on were safely transported to a secret location near a village Chugueva* (Siberia, Russia).

And the article doesn't completely succeed to gloss over the Truth. Notice the gleeful reference:

With the current events happening at Lake Vostok, an old theory saying that German Nazis may have built a secret base there as early as the 1930s, has resurfaced.

It is thought that towards the end of the Second World War, the Nazis moved to the South Pole and started constructing a base at Lake Vostok. In 1943, Grand Admiral Karl Dontiz was quoted saying “Germany's submarine fleet is proud that it created an unassailable fortress for the Fuehrer on the other end of the world,” in Antarctica.

According to German naval archives, months after Germany surrendered to the Allies in April, 1945, the German submarine U-530 arrived at the South Pole from the Port of Kiel. Crewmembers constructed an ice cave and supposedly stored several boxes of relics from the Third Reich, including Hitler’s secret files.

It is also rumored that later the submarine U-977 delivered the remains of Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun to Antarctica for DNA cloning purposes.

Surely you have discerned that smirking style: "It is thought...", "According to German archives", "It is also rumored" etc. Rumored my foot! Of course, existence of the Nazi base was suspected by many and for a fairly long time. But only now we have the real truth. And real proof.

Obviously the Elders' machine wasn't totally indifferent to the fate of the Nazi memorabilia in Russian hands, and our operatives were reporting all the time from the Chugueva environs. Here is a brief of our findings, in order of importance.

Remains of Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun were indeed delivered to Antarctica, only to be retrieved by the Russians and brought to Chugueva for processing. Deity only knows why Russians decided they need the dreck. Here you can see a Hitler's DNA sample being taken for cloning and incubation:

However, the cryogenic device used for preserving the Hitler's stiff was damaged (either on the long trek to Antarctica or later), and the only organ that Russian eggheads have succeeded to re-grow was the mustache:

Aside of possibly being a collector's item (surely to find its way to the rumored Putin's collection of similar relics), it's hard to see the benefits from this part of the deal.

It is different with Eva Broun. Look at the picture of the original:

Everyone who have visited Russia during the last thirty years must have encountered one or more of hauntingly similar ladies, all about 65 to 70 years old, all being virgins and, in addition, great-aunts of a few adorable babies whom they mercilessly pinch on the cheek***, disregarding the consequent baby's wailing. The reason for proliferation of Eva Braun clones is that the lab that was in charge of cloning was forgotten, administratively speaking, during Perestroika times and no one issued an order to cease production.

To save some work and to preserve the identities of our agents in place, I shall use further in this document some of (our own) information, compiled by a site that calls itself Godlike Productions. Their version of reporting is titled:

Russia Admits NAZI UFO BASE IN ANTARCTICA, CONFIRMED BY GOOGLE EARTH TOO

(I solemnly swear that the upper case use in the title is reproduced by me faithfully.)

To start with, the author succeeded to put his hands on a rare map of Antarctic:

If this unique map doesn't prove to you that both Nazi secret base and UFOs are real, I don't know what possibly could. But of course, there is plenty of supporting documentation. Like the photo of the Nazi flying saucer's drawing:

The text on the above photo was blurred by the Elders on purpose. Otherwise the unbelievable simplicity of the saucer, invented by one Victor Shauberger, could have caused a saucer or several being built in everyone's back yard****. And here is the said Victor Shauberger with a less secret part of his revolutionary still engine.

(In fact, it could have be some other Nazi scientist, but as an illustration it will definitely have to do). And now to the secret Nazi base. Here it comes:

You can see above a Bismark - class UFO being serviced by its ground crew (or, rather, sub-glacial crew, since the base was hidden under the above mentioned 3,768 meters of ice on the lake Vostok's shore).

On the next photo you can see a smaller Nazi UFO over a Norway fjord.

It was obviously on a supply mission, since Nazi moguls were partial to the Northern seas fish.

And, of course, we cannot finish the report without mentioning the heinous bloodthirsty attack upon the Admiral Byrd's Operation Highjump ships, described so vividly in that article.

The armed to the teeth UFO is going to make short work of the American cruiser, as could be clearly seen in that snapshot. 

And, after all you have seen and read by now, it must be also clear to you that making this kind of information public could be dangerous. It is no wonder that the fate of the author of that article with upper case affliction is rather questionable by now. Judge by yourself:

Account terminated... by the same Google what hides the evidence of the Nazi base. So, you have seen some of the Truth - exactly what you were allowed to. Now go to sleep and try to forget it - until further notice.

And take care out there, lest a UFO makes an unannounced twilight visit.


Remarks

(*) Chugueva is that godforsaken place that nobody ever visits, nobody thinks about or mentions** and, no matter what manner of mayhem you create around it, no one will ever be interested in it. Even the watchful spy satellites close their lenses when overflying the place. Anyway, you are welcome to look it up on Google Maps. Tell me if you notice something around it... no? Why I am not surprised?

(**) Aside of an ancient and unprintable Russian quatrain, that is.

(***)  In reality the cheek-pinching is attributed to the original E.B.'s compulsive checking whether the baby's skin is already tough enough to be harvested for production of handcrafted lampshades, wallets and other goodies.

(****) If you don't have a back yard, don't come here with complaints. Go and occupy yourself one, you know how it is done by now. If not - too bad.

Nikolai Valuev as female yeti

Nikolai Valuev aka The Russian Giant aka The Beast from the East aka Sugar aka Goliath, a retired professional boxer and former two-time WBA heavyweight champion, has decided to dedicate some of his time to science. Well, science of a kind: on an expedition to the Azasskaya cave the role assigned to Valuev was to impersonate a female yeti in the hope that yeti males will be attracted by this live bait. The reasoning behind the idea was that Valuev, while certainly one of the largest humans in existence - 2.18 m (7 ft 2 in), is still not up to male yeti standard, thought to be in the region of 2.7 m. Here is Valuev in action (on the left, of course):

Unfortunately, according to the report, male yetis were not all that excited by the bait (I wonder why) and the meeting of minds didn't take place.

However, aside of making contact with a live yeti, the expedition was a total success, with multiple finds of yeti traces of all kinds. In addition, ESP experts of several kinds who were part of the expedition, reported on feeling yetis' presence in the area.

Well, I personally feel that the yeti's case is almost sewed and shut. Next time, though, I would suggest to perfume Nikolai with different substances every time he is being sent out for contact. Who knows...

Spirit orb of Ghost seen over Jerusalem

From the Hebrew article in NRG:

Initially Jerusalemites didn't consider it strange, but soon the shining ball started moving over the old city and the Western Wall and especially over the Temple Mount. Suddenly it descended and stopped over the Western Wall / Temple Mount. "It was like the ball stopped at the Western Wall, left a prayer note there and returned to the skies", a witness said.

Was it a portent? The UFO appeared on January 28, and we've had the gas price hike this midnight. So it figures...

My favorite UFOlogist is already notified.

Kavkaz Center vs Royal Academy of Sciences. Or gins vs aliens.

Kavkaz Center - the PR arm of the Chechen insurgents - while being preoccupied by the matters of holy Jihad against all kinds of infidels (rest assured, the Big Satan and the Little Satan are on the waiting list, right after the completion of the current task: defeating the Russian bear) found some time to dedicate to the interplanetary relationships.

The definitive article comes as a response to the meeting of the above mentioned Royal Academy of Sciences on the subject of detection of extra-terrestrial life and the consequences for science and society. The article is signed by a Department of Monitoring. It sounds serious then, so take it in the same manner, meaning seriously. This is how the Department of Monitoring describes the proceedings of the meeting:

Democratic British academics proposed to create a specialized agency within the Democratic organization "United Nations" which would deal with issues related to an expected contact with extraterrestrial civilizations. It is to be noted that it is not the first time when Western "scientists" argue that human contacts with aliens is just a matter of time.

Notice the judicious use of quotation marks and the word "Democratic". So, what is the pure Islamic verdict on the Democratic "scientists'" ideas? Here it comes:

We would like to point out in this connection that from the point of view of Islam, all theories of non-believers about the existence of some alien civilizations, UFOs, extraterrestrials are complete ignorance and absurdity.

To prevent you from useless arguing, the Department of Monitoring found a few more minutes to outline the only true cosmology, of which I shall quote sparingly (so read the whole for enlightenment). To start with:

Islam makes it clear that living intelligent beings were created by Allah, and were reported in the Quran. There are three kinds of creatures - angels, created from light, gins, created from fire (pure flame) and humans, created from clay.

I don't know about you, but to me it makes a lot of sense, besides it's much simpler than any Drake formula and stuff. Notice especially the gins:

It is well known that there are of several kinds of gins - those who can fly, those who move through the soil, and those who swim.

Allah be my witness - at various times I have been bitten by flying, crawling and swimming varieties of gins, getting all kinds and degrees of allergic and other reactions to the critters' bites! For crying out loud, now it all became clear!

But what about all these encounters so richly described in many sources? Here it comes:

In contact with gins are all kinds of sorcerers, witches, healers using a so-called "energy", fortune-tellers, yogas, shamans and others. Gins are contacted by various occultists, exorcists, cabbalists, magicians, satanists, others. Some believe that musicians, singers are under the influence of gins, since music and musical instruments are "flutes of Satan". Gins can manifest themselves in different cases, and in different situations, but humans can not see their true face. It is known that gins can abduct humans. Gins can also cause diseases for humans, both physical and mental. Gin can seize a human and take his mind. However, this can only happen by the will of Allah.

So there: all these stories about little green men (or big hairy ones), about abductions, anal probes, getting pregnant by an alien etc. - it's all explained, and to my total and absolute satisfaction, I have to add.

There is more, much more in that article, but I cannot dawdle - I have to alert my favorite UFOlogists. And an astronomer too now. And you all - just read that article.

Pleiadians shot down a California missile fired by Obama at Iran. Bilderberg, Illuminati and...

Sorry, the length of the headline isn't sufficient even to start condensing the full message. Which message is simply vital for you to know, so you have to watch this short clip:



And you - yes, you, laughing over there! Mind your laugh. If Illuminati somehow miss you, which is unlikely, taking your girth into account, we, the Elders, will not.

Er... will not miss, I mean.

So, look out, fatso.

And another thing - don't you dare knocking our reptilians. It will cost you dearly.

Via Lesley. With thanks.

UFOs over New York City?

(If the embedded clip doesn't show, look here).

That's it? For a self-respecting city it's a pretty poor show...

120 retired officers know: someone knocks their nukes off

The latest deluge of the articles on the UFO subject is focused on the uncanny knack of the E.T.s to disable the military nuclear installations all over the world. While the paraphernalia of the aliens continues to show the bewildering variety of shapes (saucer, fat cigar, triangle, even a orange or reddish pulsating oval-shaped object) and approaches, the main point in the latest articles was that the aliens can easily switch off whole launching sites, effectively disabling the mighty WMDs of nuclear nations.

Of course, everyone understands by now that it's not the usual "classic" foes:

Hastings said that because similar incidents had occurred in the Soviet Union - as attested to in declassified KGB files - it was not the Russians messing with us or us messing with the Russians.

Even if there is an element of flippancy in this:

"We can also rule out the Samoans," he added.

I wouldn't discard any suspect that quick, and Samoans should not be waived away in this manner too. However, due to the disturbingly high level of histrionics surrounding the nukes, the Elders have decided to come out with an explanation. No more Aliens ate my Pershing! headlines, please.

Yes, it is the Elders who meddled with your nukes, dear Americans, Brits, Russians, Chinese, French etc*. For many years we have checked (and rechecked again, as is the manner of our field operations dept.) our POND (POrtable Nuke Disabler) before it was concluded that it works as prescribed and can effectively destroy all known nuclear weapons without the operator moving his/her backside from his/her office in ...

Of course you may want to know why did we have to organize the whole megillah with flying saucers, triangles, cigars and whatnot. Why the crop circles, dripping molten metal and indentations in the forest? Why, in short, all the crapola that keeps Spielberg and many others busy for so many years and sells Prozac like there is no tomorrow?

Especially when the POND's size is about that of an iPod. Well, to start with - we needed some distraction. It certainly helps when the senior officer on duty gets several phone calls in his bunker from guards stationed on the surface, complaining about UFOs, while all nuclear missiles under his command are blinking out of existence...

And who will listen to him the next day, when half of his soldiers are on tranquilizers and the second half cannot agree whether the objects in the sky were circular, square and what kind of lights did they carry... Not to mention the crop circles. Really, let's not mention the crop circles - maybe the first two or three were fun, but after that it's a major pain in one's backside...

So, the whole UFO geschaft is being discarded by the Elders as of now. No more flying saucers, strange pulsating lights, no more audio-visual shows. And if you happen to see some strange object skulking around your neighborhood and lighting the sky in all kinds of ways, you better call the air force.

Like they care...

(*) The case of Andorran arsenal mentioned by Jams baffles us too, frankly. It could be our own installation of several thousand years ago, but what with the state of our archives and general laxity of records...

This wouldn't work, dear DoD!

The Air Force’s classified test range at Groom Lake, Nev., has never lacked for evocative nicknames — it and its restricted airspace have been called Dreamland, Paradise Ranch, The Box and, most famously, Area 51. Now there’s a less romantic moniker to throw on the pile: “Homey Airport,” according to a few civilian aviation journals.

For crying out loud! Do they really think it will work? Homey Airport?

They must be kidding.

Hat tip: Lesley.

Edgar Mitchell: Man not alone in universe

So he says.

And he is absolutely right - this is what we have these folks for:

Bigfoot Trackers Say They've Got a Body

Finally.

Two Northern California men and two Georgians say they've got a body, a photo and DNA evidence pertaining to the elusive forest-dwelling man-ape — and that they'll reveal all at a press conference in Palo Alto, Calif., on Friday.

Two Georgians. Aren't they supposed to be fighting them Russians? Nah, it's an old one.

Now we can sleep well, without all that shouting and lights in the neighborhood forests.

Update: missed this part with more details. And the happy hunters site here, which is overloaded, it appears.

Update 2: no, after all this doesn't look like Jimmy Hoffa carelessly wrapped up in a rug.

Update 3: a stray thought while looking at "before" and "after" pictures of the freezer here - where do they chill the Bud cans now?

Update 4: marginally more here. Maybe still Hoffa? Go figure...

NASA are not alone!

Via Lesley.



The clip is definitely interesting and raises a few questions. While the crucial parameter of the story, namely the distance of the suspicious object from the camera, is not known, and to talk about its speed without knowing this parameter is useless, the usual stonewalling by NASA is not very helpful.

Of course, the truth could be even more surprising. After all, some official responses from NASA and USAF, not to mention other countries' similar agencies, look as if they are written by an E.T.

Nazi Flying Saucers

Or just Hitler's sombrero?

Via Regan.

UFO attacks FBI in Dallas?

It looks (at the beginning) rather that UFO extracts something (FBI people?) from the building. Makes some weird sense.

More here.

Via Lesley.

Britain gives up on UFO, aliens reciprocate

The news about the official decision by Britain to deny the existence of UFOs and to sweep the whole issue of existence of aliens into a garbage bin came as a shock* to some denizens of our Galaxy.

Britain's Ministry of Defense has released files on UFO sightings dating back to the 1970s, including witness accounts and the government's response. One of the documents released Wednesday is a detailed briefing prepared by the Ministry of Defense for the debate, and it sheds light on the military's position on the matter. "There is nothing to indicate that ufology (the study of UFOs) is anything but claptrap and no evidence at all of 'alien space craft,'" read the briefing, prepared by the ministry for Lord Strabolgi, then government chief whip.

So UFOs are claptrap, according to the British government. Someone is definitely trying to ignore the stark truth staring them in the eyes and with it the whole Universe, full of life and sometimes (mostly when looking Earthward) of incomprehension and sorrowful laughter.

Due to Elders' excellent relationships (and, indeed, tight cooperation on some projects) with the Galaxy Central Command, it was easy** for me to get the Galaxy's semi-official response to the British faux pas:

Cannot say we are shocked here in the HQ. We had high hopes for these people initially. Just yesterday they have been in control of almost the whole globe of yours, and look where they are now. Still, we have not despaired with them immediately. We have sent them our best saucers, we have jumped up and down making faces at them, we have abducted, experimented, probed. We have even planted our trained reptilian to replace one of their more scandalous elected officials:

(The previous one was also one of ours - some kind of semi-sentient plant, but very adept in mimicry). We have telepathically instructed one of their best scribes to write several books with all the necessary information about the life, the universe, the whatnot. But it just didn't take root in this place. Mighty peculiar, I have to say, but at the end of the day not that surprising.

Apparently, this pale-face vitamin-deficient life form just cannot cope with the mere idea of aliens, no matter of what kind. Look what they... aw, what the heck...

Well, this is the end of it with these Brits. No more visitations, no more lights in the sky, no more anal probes for them. Let them drink that fermented swill (we have really had some hopes regarding them and the Pan Galactic Gurgle Blaster, you know) and be happy. Or, at least, half catatonic as they usually are. And these two clowns can continue to make them crop circles, if this is what gets them off. Pfui!

We give up on them, you can tell them in my name. Actually don't bother, you can hardly tell them anything as far as my experience goes. Now I see what that bearded chap meant by that "life is the mode of existence of protein bodies". Indeed...

Anyhow - we are moving the focus of our operation to... no, you don't have to know.. oh, you already do, good for you. Ciao...

It is unclear what is in wait for Britain in the near future as a result of this diplomatic fiasco, but there is no chance of getting any coherent response from their FO (as on many other issues, so it's not that surprising).

So I shall be calling on my favorite Ufologists to comment on this event.

(*) The shock value should not be overestimated, as well as the importance of Britain on the Galaxy scale. See the next remark.

(**) In fact, it was excruciatingly difficult to find the person responsible for communications with Earth in the endless maze of the Galactic HQ. Eventually, the Hon. Scroom RfticulG, the Galactic official who takes care of 4,965 inhabited worlds of ITC*** class, was located. Needless to say, the Elders do not normally go through this channel, having access to much higher echelons of Galactic bureaucracy.

(***) ITC - Intransigent Temporary Civilization.