#Resound11: The Year in Review

The start of December has been BUSY, and I'm afraid there's not much promise of it slowing down anytime soon. Still, I would be remiss if I didn't try to squeeze in some time for reflection. After all, you have to consider where you are to know where you're going. Jaemie, from my old stomping grounds in Johnstown, started a wonderful site, #Resound11: Reflect & Reinvent, to focus participants' and readers' reflections about this past year as we think about the year ahead. As I can use all the help I can get these days when it comes to focusing, I decided (albeit a little late, as per usual) to play along.

One Word
My intended one little word for 2011 was REALIZE. One could argue that, through what became a very trying year, I did realize according to the first definition of the word, to understand; I realized a lot about myself, and that's always a good thing. The fact that the second definition of the word, to make real (a plan, dream, etc.), didn't come to fruition saddens me. In fact, it led me to think that the real word for 2011 should be disappointing, but I concluded that this wasn't a very fair evaluation as there was a lot of good that happened this year. Really, the word that sums up the year is SURPRISING. Some surprises were not so great (hi, third layoff in two years!), and some, like getting to meet a favorite author, were happy, welcome surprises. For good or bad, the bottom line is that this year didn't turn out anything like I had planned. As such, I was reminded that I can't control everything; the only thing I can control is how I react to what happens, and that's a realization I'm going to take with me into the New Year.

Vices
I successfully gave up caffeine... for less than a month. Diet Coke is my kryptonite. As far as vices are concerned, it's not the worst I could have, right? The vices I need to give up still remain negative self-talk and procrastination, which I've realized only fuel each other.

Virtues
Fortunately, I think the good I've done this year outweighs both the inaction and not-so-great habits. I'm most proud of how I've jumped into the community and have begun practicing what I preach through volunteerism. In the past year, I've dedicated my time to sit on boards, head committees, raise money, and - most importantly - teach.

Superpower
Sadly, my most recent superpower is being bitten by fleas. Seriously, guys, I fought the fleas, and the fleas won. Hm, is it a superpower to parody songs? In all seriousness, I think my greatest superpower is that of flexibility. Whether in my classroom on Sundays, at work, or while planning an event, if something doesn't go as anticipated, I'm pretty darn good at rolling with the punches. Perhaps I can one day learn to apply this superpower to my personal life.

Theme Song
Neko Case and Nick Cave's version of She's Not There really spoke to me this year. Of course, it helps that the song was the theme for the first episode of True Blood this season, but more than that is the fact that, until recently, I spent the majority of the year not feeling like myself, as though I wasn't there.



I thankfully feel less like that now; however, it's still a great tune to dance to!

Thelma & Louise
Having been fortunate to find a great group of friends here in Cola, there are a number of Thelmas to my Louise. Some would bail me out of jail, some would probably be sharing the cell with me, and a few would be there afterward to help pick up the pieces. There might even be one or two who would be willing to drive off the cliff with me...given enough alcohol.

Achievement Unlocked
Though I'm by no means great at it, I can say that I learned to read Hebrew this year. This is something I've wanted to learn for the last decade and simply never took the time to do. I'm glad I allowed myself the opportunity to finally realize this goal.

Catch Phrase
While I still love my catch phrase from 2010 (so much so that I had to include a video of it again),

there is a phrase that I found myself saying a LOT this year. SRSLY. Written, spoken, or texted - whether you end it with a period, question mark, or exclamation point - "seriously" gets the job done. Don't know what I mean? Watch the clip below. Seriously.



I've always loved this word, but since I started working with middle schoolers again, I find it's become a more frequently used part of my vocabulary: Seriously, did you just do that after I told you not to? Seriously?! Yes, you've earned the right to lose your recess - seriously.


And thus wraps up the first week of #Resound11. I'm looking forward to a little more reflection this month and a whole lot of thinking about how to make the coming year better.

The one where I cry "Do over!" and also learn a valuable lesson

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Ever have a week where you wish you could climb into a DeLorean, erase what happened, and have a do over? Such was my week. That blessed, glorious week where I was going to make sure that my "have to"s were not my only focus and that I allowed myself time for my "want to"s? Well, not a whole lot of "have to"s got done, but neither did any "want to"s. The only thing I managed to accomplish was coming down with Preschool Plague of Summer 2011 on the eve of July 4 (if I were to actually keep up with this blogging thing, you wouldn't be scratching your head, wondering how I caught Preschool Plague; you'd know that I am working with preschoolers two days a week now). You know how you often wish you could afford the luxury of staying in your PJs and watching TV in bed all day? The novelty wears off well before the fourth day. And while I admit that there are times I am so wrapped up in my writing that I don't leave the house for a week, not feeling able to leave the house for a week suddenly gave me some sort of recluse phobia. But the intention of this post is not to complain (thank you, though, for letting me do so), nor is it to apologize for not fulfilling my promise of verbal vomit (though I am sorry, especially to Cate who was sweet enough to say she was looking forward to it); being too sick to do any of the things I had previously put off and said I was going to accomplish last week taught me a valuable lesson.

Not being able to recapture the time that I lost, it's finally starting to sink in how important it is to follow my new rule to get out of this terrible habit I developed over the last year or so of denying myself, on a daily basis, personally fulfilling activities until I catch up on all that "has" to be done. First of all, my list of "have to do"s is way too long, and thinking that I'll ever be caught up on it is unrealistic. Hubby often asks me, "What do you have planned for the weekend?" to which I usually respond, "Well, I'd really like to write, maybe scrapbook, and I haven't even looked at that free online course that I was so excited to get into; but I have to do X, Y, and Z" (where X, Y, and Z are not things that truly have to be done in order for bills to get paid or for life to go on). Before I know it, the entire weekend has passed me by, and I have not allowed myself a single moment of pure enjoyment (with the exception of Sunday nights because True Blood is nonnegotiable: if you catch on fire between 9 and 10, don't count on me to put you out). According to this interesting read that I just happened upon this morning (talk about timeliness), this behavior is not fair to "Future Me," not to mention Future Me might - oh, I don't know - wind up in bed for a week with PRESCHOOL PLAGUE! Today Me needs to start being more considerate of Future Me. I wouldn't tell Hubby that I couldn't go out to dinner with him over the weekend because I know that when Monday rolls around, along with all the busyness it brings, Future Him will be disappointed that we didn't take advantage of the downtime and spend it together. Like so many other people, I will go out of my way not to disappoint others, but don't think anything of doing - or refraining from doing - something that will cause disappointment for myself.

Today Me, meet Future Me. Future Me just came home from seeing the final Harry Potter movie (sniff) and is enjoying a cup of hot tea while traveling the blogosphere. Future Me is-a-gonna be a ball of anger if she sees not a single blog entry posted after today's. You know what would make her happy? Seeing at least two more blog posts. Future Me is counting on you not to let her down.

What are you planning to do this week to make Future You happy?

This post was written in part to roll over my goal from last week
as a late Set It Sunday.

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New Rules

Six months ago (where has the year gone?!) I decided to focus on realizing, using both definitions of the word to understand what my priorities are, as well as make some personal goals become a reality. Although priorities are always shifting, I think I've done a pretty good job with the first part of my word. Additionally, I've spent a whole lot of time realizing what works and doesn't work for me as I strive to give reality to all that I had hoped to accomplish this year. Now it's time to work on that second part of my one little word, which brings me to

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New Rule: Once vertical, stay vertical.
I've gotten really good (too good, if you ask me) at waking up early; I'm often feeding the cat somewhere between 6:00 and 6:30. The problem is that I have a bad tendency of crawling back into bed to Facebook on my phone before finally rolling back out to start the day, which doesn't do much to jumpstart my productivity.

New Rule: Once coherent, start working.
Much to my dismay, somewhere along the aging process, I've become a morning person. Like a chocolate-chip cookie, I'm at my best when fresh out of the oven. Too bad I often "waste" my most alert hours on activities that don't require as much attention, which would be better attended to later in the day when I'm sleepy and feeling less motivated.

New Rule: Take your breaks away from the computer. And the kitchen.
Taking "five-minute" Facebook/Twitter breaks wind up sucking away much larger chunks of my time without me even noticing it. Taking breaks in the kitchen is adding chunks of weight to my bones. Until our house is completely unpacked, putting away contents from one box would be a good use of this time instead. After that, perhaps a trip to the mailbox, reading a chapter from my book, triaging pictures into my LOM system, or - brace yourself! - a quick exercise routine would work in lieu of standing in front of the open refrigerator.

New Rule: Don't deny yourself that which makes you happy.
Why does my blog have very few entries this year? Why does my book sit unfinished on my hard drive? Why do so many scrapbooks sit empty on my shelf? Why does my pile of to-be-read books continue to grow while the number of books I've actually read remains stagnant? Because there's this little voice inside my head that says I'm not allowed to do what I want to do until I'm "caught up" on X, Y, and Z. That voice needs to shut it. I have to work to live, but no matter how much I enjoy what I do, I shouldn't be living to work. I need to take time everyday for me. I got SO good at this when I was in PA (I'm thinking being stranded in the snow-covered mountains for weeks at a time might have had something to do with this) but have since regressed to ignoring my needs.

New Rule: Stop collecting pretty paper and start using it.
That pretty paper I ogle at my local scrapbooking store that somehow makes it onto the checkout counter and into my house looks much better in scrapbooks than it does in a container. It's time to stop being a scrapbook supply hoarder and start being a scrapbooker.

New Rule: Do what works.
I spent the better part of a year finding systems - writing schedules, bookending/using a timer, weekly goals - that work for me. When I moved a year ago and got out of my routine, I abandoned my systems and inexplicably never brought them back into my life. It's time to put out the welcome mat!

New Rule: Get out of the house.
Whether it's going out with friends, going to services, or going to a class, I always have a great time out of the house. It's the making myself do it that's the hard part. I am queen of excuses: I'm tired, I don't feel great, it's such a schlep across town. A few girlfriends and I have discussed implementing a weekly girls' night - same time, same day every week, different activity - so that we have fewer excuses not to socialize.

New Rule: When overwhelmed, don't bury your head in the sand.
I have become a master of avoidance. Feeling overwhelmed, I'll pick up the remote or take a nap. Imagine how much more I'd get done if, instead, I chose one thing from my to-do list that was quick and easy to complete, did it, and then checked it off my list. I'm not saying I'm going to deprive myself of much-needed downtime, but I need to start being honest about my motivations. Am I taking a nap because I need to rest, or am I simply trying to put off an overwhelming task?

New Rule: Relearn how to use the phone.
As a preteen, my phone was physically attached to my ear. Thanks to email and social media, what's attached instead are my fingers to my keyboard. Even when I do have my phone in my hand, it's rare that it's up to my ear; more likely, my fingers are texting, emailing, or scrolling. Digital communication is great, but it's no replacement for hearing the sound of a friend's voice.

New Rule: Be present.
I have such a nasty habit of letting my to-do list creep into my mind and cause me to either lose attention on what I'm doing or check my watch to see how many more hours I have left in the day to get stuff done. I would get so much more out of experiences if I would give my full attention to the "here and now." Similarly, when I'm in my "work zone," if I remember something that requires attention, I need to write it down on my to-do list and then Let. It. Go.

New Rule: Don't let fear and perfectionism stop you before you even start.
What's that saying about it being better to try and fail than never to have tried at all? I have so much I want to do, both big and small, and the only thing standing in my way is me. It's time to get out of my own way.

One little word on 1/1/11

Happy New Year!

I would apologize for not posting all the end-of-year ideas that have been swimming around in my brain for the last month, but honestly, I'm not sorry because I was enjoying a glorious vacation from all things "plugged" (with the exception of TV... hello, HBO was replaying season three of True Blood).

A relatively recent New Year's tradition for me is to come up with one little word that becomes a focus of sorts for the year. In 2009, it was relax, a word I'm still trying to incorporate into my daily life two years later. Fortunately, whether of my own accord or by mere circumstance, my word for 2010 was a bit easier for me: try. I didn't try everything I had hoped to, nor did I succeed in everything I tried, but the following highlights made for what I consider to be a rewarding word. In the past year, I've tried:

• my hand at Etsying (hey, if "googling" is now a word, "etsying" can be, too). I've only had 20 sales, but it's enough that I now have a fun little way to support my crafting habit.
• freelance writing, which I really love doing.
• becoming a paid published author, and I succeeded (yay!). This is by far my proudest accomplishment of 2010.
• devoting time to being crafty (in a good way) just for me. The result is finally having completed pages in our family scrapbooks.
• adding to my WIP. My manuscript is 17,779 words longer than it was this time last year, but I expected to have the novel's first draft completed by now.

It's this unrealized vision that ultimately led me to my one little word for 2011:

REALIZE

1.

to grasp or understand clearly.

2.

to make real; give reality to (a hope, fear, plan, etc.).

My friend Cheri described herself a few weeks ago as "Queen of Unfinished Projects." Over the last few years, this has become me as well. There's a lot of thinking about doing, but not enough actual doing. As I said in a Facebook status earlier last month, "Good intentions, bad follow-through. Story of my life." I think some of the problem is that I have too many good intentions, which leads me to the first part of my word: I need to realize what my priorities are, as well as what's getting in the way of them, and focus on those. Unfortunately, that is going to mean saying "no" to some - or a lot - of people and opportunities, but I'd rather dedicate myself to a few things and see them through than make a whole bunch of commitments I ultimately can't fulfill.

The second part of my word is probably obvious: I want to realize my goal of getting this novel written (and, much to my dismay, it's apparently not going to write itself). This time next year, I will have a draft that is ready for pre-readers to critique. Does someone have a brown paper bag I can hyperventilate into, please? I'm tired of thinking about it. I'm tried of talking about it (though that probably won't stop me from continuing to do so). It's time to DO IT.

Here's to 2011 and realizing all it has to offer!