Letting go of rumination (aka my desire to stop beating dead horses)

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Letting Go in 2012

"I swear, you live in your head."
"Cheryl, stop overthinking things."
"You are such a cerebral person, Cheryl."
"You've analyzed this to death, Cher."
"You need to get out of your head."

These are true words spoken by good friends this year, more so in the last couple of months. I've known it to be true, but forcing yourself not to dwell on something is like a kid forcing himself not to fall asleep: the opposite of the desired effect usually results. Yesterday, I received the following article in my inbox from Real Simple: 6 Steps to Stop Overthinking Your Life. I rolled my eyes yet clicked it open and began reading. Reading about people called ruminators. Reading about me.

The strategies given by the article's contributors for overcoming rumination make sense. Shift your focus. I said to myself upon reading that, "I've tried that, but it never works!" Uh, that's because my idea of shifting focus is taking a nap. Perhaps if I tried this strategy the way it was meant to be carried out, I would find a happy side effect of reading more books or writing more. Speaking of writing, I've known this to be a wonderful cure for rumination in the past, and I've even had the inclination to do so recently, but I think I've developed a slight anxiety about putting my feelings in writing - Will my journals really remain private? What will eventually happen to those journals? Will my friend who promised to burn them when I die keep her word? I know that this is a silly paranoia; still it often prevents me from relying on the outlet of writing, so I'm thinking maybe a password-protected file on my computer. And a challenging book that requires all of my attention for total comprehension - maybe a book in Hebrew even. Shifting focus and writing. These are the techniques I'm going to try in 2012 in an attempt to finally let go of - or at least do less - ruminating.

What do you want to let go of in 2012?

Then & Now

Then & Now

Moi circa 2001

December 2001
Ten years ago I had just come back from a Hillel conference in Washington DC. I remember feeling a renewed commitment to Judaism, as well as excitement about my future involvement in the Jewish community at the University of Florida. At the same time, I was studying to become an English teacher, enjoying the company of new friends, and exploring a relationship with this really cute TA of mine. I went home (Orlando, FL) to spend the holidays with my family and then went to NYC to celebrate my grandmother’s 85^th birthday.


December 2011

Reunited with Rabbi Andy, 2011

Life, in many ways, has come full circle. I just came back from the Union for Reform Judaism Biennial in Washington DC, where I enjoyed the company of new friends and experienced a renewal in my commitment to Judaism. It reenergized me to do my newish job as the Community Relations Coordinator for the Columbia Jewish Federation, a type of job I wanted to do after grad school but ultimately forwent in lieu of a teaching career and a life with that cute TA, with whom I celebrated my sixth wedding anniversary last week. I thought the ship of professional involvement in the Jewish community had long sailed, but, as the saying goes, it’s apparently never too late. The icing on this circular cake for me was reconnecting at the Biennial with the man who is largely responsible for my involvement in Jewish life. After taking my seat to hear President Barack Obama speak, I turned around and happened to see my Hillel rabbi, the one who sent me on my trip to DC ten years prior. As I write this, I am in a place I now consider one of my homes with my (married into) family and am looking forward to calling my Grams to wish her a happy 95^th birthday.


December 2021
I have no idea what the next ten years hold, but I hope I’ll be able to look back with the same awe, fondness, and gratitude as I feel for the past decade of my life.


Happy Chanukah, Merry Christmas, and best wishes for a safe, happy, and healthy New Year!

Wordless Wednesday: #Resound11

Best Photo of 2011

Mimi, our little diva

I'm leeeeaving on a jet plane...

The best gift I've given myself this year is that of travel. From the weeklong vacation I took to California at the beginning of January to see a dear friend get married, visit my dad, and meet my stepfamily

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to a Memorial Day reunion with my best friend in Chicago

to the impromptu Charleston dinner cruise I took with Hubby during the summer

to our return trip to Charleston over Thanksgiving weekend...

these little getaways provided much-needed mental holidays. Though the trip I'm leaving for today is not purely a vacation - I'm attending the URJ/WRJ Biennial in D.C. as a representative of my temple's sisterhood - I'm looking forward to one last getaway, catching up with people I haven't seen in over a decade, having fun with new friends, and OMG hearing the President of the United States speak.

Yes, the best gift - one that I am incredibly grateful for - is being fortunate enough to travel and experience fun times with good friends.

My 12 of 2012 (#Resound11)

12 Goals for 2012

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1. FINISH WRITING MY NOVEL!!! (I'm not screaming at you; I'm screaming at me to finally do this so that it's not on my list again for 2013.)
2. Write. Period.
3. Submit another article for publication and/or return to content writing.
4. Read 12 books. I've read 10 so far this year - and I might wind up squeaking out an 11th before the year is up - but I'd like to average one a month. 
5. Have more date nights with Hubby.
6. Try at least one new recipe each month. This, of course, requires me to actually start cooking again.
7. Make a decision about my Etsy store. I feel like I've been Etsying half assed these days, and I need to either dedicate time to it each week or close shop. One of my items was recently featured in a treasury for the first time, so I know that there are people who like what I create, but it's frustrating 1) to have design ideas that never get executed and 2) to look at your pictures and descriptions knowing that you are selling yourself short because you lack the time to do otherwise.
8. Complete my scrapbooking WIPs: iScrap, Me the Abridged Version, and Everyone Can Write a Little.
9. Keep up with Project Life.
10. Play with my Library of Memories at least once a month.
11. Blog two to three times per week.
12. Continue practicing Hebrew.

Phew! I'm tired just thinking about it! Good thing I have a few more weeks before I have to start putting my money where my mouth is.  ;)  What are your goals for the New Year?

#Resound11: The Year in Review

The start of December has been BUSY, and I'm afraid there's not much promise of it slowing down anytime soon. Still, I would be remiss if I didn't try to squeeze in some time for reflection. After all, you have to consider where you are to know where you're going. Jaemie, from my old stomping grounds in Johnstown, started a wonderful site, #Resound11: Reflect & Reinvent, to focus participants' and readers' reflections about this past year as we think about the year ahead. As I can use all the help I can get these days when it comes to focusing, I decided (albeit a little late, as per usual) to play along.

One Word
My intended one little word for 2011 was REALIZE. One could argue that, through what became a very trying year, I did realize according to the first definition of the word, to understand; I realized a lot about myself, and that's always a good thing. The fact that the second definition of the word, to make real (a plan, dream, etc.), didn't come to fruition saddens me. In fact, it led me to think that the real word for 2011 should be disappointing, but I concluded that this wasn't a very fair evaluation as there was a lot of good that happened this year. Really, the word that sums up the year is SURPRISING. Some surprises were not so great (hi, third layoff in two years!), and some, like getting to meet a favorite author, were happy, welcome surprises. For good or bad, the bottom line is that this year didn't turn out anything like I had planned. As such, I was reminded that I can't control everything; the only thing I can control is how I react to what happens, and that's a realization I'm going to take with me into the New Year.

Vices
I successfully gave up caffeine... for less than a month. Diet Coke is my kryptonite. As far as vices are concerned, it's not the worst I could have, right? The vices I need to give up still remain negative self-talk and procrastination, which I've realized only fuel each other.

Virtues
Fortunately, I think the good I've done this year outweighs both the inaction and not-so-great habits. I'm most proud of how I've jumped into the community and have begun practicing what I preach through volunteerism. In the past year, I've dedicated my time to sit on boards, head committees, raise money, and - most importantly - teach.

Superpower
Sadly, my most recent superpower is being bitten by fleas. Seriously, guys, I fought the fleas, and the fleas won. Hm, is it a superpower to parody songs? In all seriousness, I think my greatest superpower is that of flexibility. Whether in my classroom on Sundays, at work, or while planning an event, if something doesn't go as anticipated, I'm pretty darn good at rolling with the punches. Perhaps I can one day learn to apply this superpower to my personal life.

Theme Song
Neko Case and Nick Cave's version of She's Not There really spoke to me this year. Of course, it helps that the song was the theme for the first episode of True Blood this season, but more than that is the fact that, until recently, I spent the majority of the year not feeling like myself, as though I wasn't there.



I thankfully feel less like that now; however, it's still a great tune to dance to!

Thelma & Louise
Having been fortunate to find a great group of friends here in Cola, there are a number of Thelmas to my Louise. Some would bail me out of jail, some would probably be sharing the cell with me, and a few would be there afterward to help pick up the pieces. There might even be one or two who would be willing to drive off the cliff with me...given enough alcohol.

Achievement Unlocked
Though I'm by no means great at it, I can say that I learned to read Hebrew this year. This is something I've wanted to learn for the last decade and simply never took the time to do. I'm glad I allowed myself the opportunity to finally realize this goal.

Catch Phrase
While I still love my catch phrase from 2010 (so much so that I had to include a video of it again),

there is a phrase that I found myself saying a LOT this year. SRSLY. Written, spoken, or texted - whether you end it with a period, question mark, or exclamation point - "seriously" gets the job done. Don't know what I mean? Watch the clip below. Seriously.



I've always loved this word, but since I started working with middle schoolers again, I find it's become a more frequently used part of my vocabulary: Seriously, did you just do that after I told you not to? Seriously?! Yes, you've earned the right to lose your recess - seriously.


And thus wraps up the first week of #Resound11. I'm looking forward to a little more reflection this month and a whole lot of thinking about how to make the coming year better.