You swallow your sleep & wake up in the morning to find out you are not who you used to be

Intensive studying starts today.

Went Vivo City with bff & Chrissy to study. Had Long John Silver for lunch, om nom nom! Damn happy to be eating ljs 'cos I haven't had it in a long while. Couldn't find proper seat at Starbucks 'cos their tables are round, and it's very difficult for the tree of us to study together on a round table so I suggested Gloria Jeans. I remembered Jemi & I went there to study once without getting anything & they didn't chase us away! Went there, bought ice latte & it sucks :x I NEED ICE BLENDED CARAMEL :(

 

 

 

 

 

 

Union heels spotted in JUICE magazine! :D

Left the place at around 7ish. Headed to Superdog for dinner!! Hahaha my virgin try ^^ it's damn good. I love the chilli fries. I had cheeseburger, bff had chicken burger & Chrissy had the hotdog! Definitely going back for more :) Thanks Chrissy for the recommendation!

 

 

My cheeseburger!

Chrissy hahahaha

They two = <3

Mom & dad are planning a trip to Bangkok & bff's gonna tag along! I hope the talk with her mom will go well.. I AM DAMN EXCITED & SCARED & NERVOUS :( If she can't come, I'll be damn sad. Cannot wait for her to get back to me!

Off to study, toodles! :>

I love you always, even in the hurricane

Exams are over. End of migraine-filled days with hell lot of notes to be memorized in my hands all the time. Bye Econs, I won't miss you for sure. Bye Mogan, I hope you'll never be seen in my sight ever again. Diploma term one starts in a month's time.. I'm looking forward to it because I'll be attending it with bff, my favourite girl ban & not forgetting Chrissy & Shermaine :)

The paper was okay. I did my best, that's all I know. I don't care if it's a D, I'm okay with it. As long as I passed, I don't care. I just don't wanna redo this whole module ever again!! Chrissy came out after 15 minutes, Shermaine followed suit. I was done in an hour. Swatee left after awhile. Bff was the last to come out. After we were all done, we went off for our steamboat dinner date!! :)

 

Hello mole

 

Look at the butter -slups

 

  

Shermaine the sexy cook

 

Tom yum soup base!!!

 

Tan Quee Lan Street (:

Only after we got on the train then I realised we didn't take a group picture :( :( :(

We were very fickle-minded. At first we sat on the upper deck. Then we moved to the lower deck where the walk way is 'cos that would make space for Rosental ('cos we thought she was gonna make it). We asked for steamboat but when we saw the next table having steamboat & BBQ, we wanted that as well. The smell was too...tempting. Damn nice smell!! We hear the sizzling from the BBQ, couldn't take it, we asked for a change! We were like saying how they'd really hate us & bitch about us & all that amongst themselves hahahaha or even spit into our soup!!!!! Stupid Shermaine keep saying that I look scared & won't drink the soup -.- And she said that Chrissy don't wanna eat the sausage so she 'accidentally' dropped it hahahaha.

$20 per head - damn not worth it for the four of us. All we ate was hotdog, crabstick, meatball, prawns & scallop! But the tom yum soup base was yummy! Very sour, not that spicy for my liking, very nice!!! Thank God Shermaine's good at cooking, she helped a lot! I can't cook, scared :/ I really suck ok I'm sorry guys!!!!

Sat around, chit-chat while our love handles were growing bigger & thicker. Left the place, walked to Bugis Junction. Chrissy bought Chewy Junior 'cos bff told her that Jemi did mentioned before Chewy Junior is nice. We tried the sample & it is really chewy!! Chrissy was damn cute, she had to choose 11 & she was like, "Huh one more!?! Omg..ok this one!" One after another, one after another, until finally the last one, she was like, "No more ah? Wahhhhh.." Hahahahha!

I love hanging out with them :) They totally made me forgot what happened before the exam which kinda worried me 'cos I was concentrating 100% on memorizing & trying to understand, I didn't wanna let my mind wander. More outings with them this term break, I hope!


Celebrating Aunt's birthday tomorrow with Nyonya dinner. Yay I luv Nyonya food!

It's okay not to be alright

"You can never tell what people are thinking and feeling unless they tell you, and usually they lie. you ask them, 'What's wrong?' and they say 'Nothing'. You accept this because it’s easier than digging for the truth. People smile when they want to cry, they laugh when they want to scream and shout. They pretend like nothing is wrong because they don't want to face the truth. Things aren't always rainbows and butterflies, sometimes you gotta scream and cry your anger and sadness to the world, because you can only hold it in for so long before something in you snaps. so when you want to cry, cry. When you want to scream, scream. Don't hide behind fake smiles, it's ok to not be alright."

I certainly am not :(

Lunch with baby today at Far East Plaza. She had cravings for chendol & ayam penyet so we went today. A sudden decision made yesterday after her steamboat dinner. Hahahaha. Love you sweetheart :> lunch was great, food was fab, company was even better. The people who had lunch there needs to learn how to talk in a six-inch voice. They laugh like it's their own place!! I couldn't even hear myself..and we also found out that the restaurant actually does deliveries around Far East!!! :D yay yay yay we went back after lunch 'cos i promised Gran I'd be home quick (quick = 3 hours :( sorry gran i love youuuu) asap.

oh, and not forgetting, I surprised baby with the comic that she wanted to get, so she can read when she's free. Love it when she roll her eyes, smiles & give that why-must-i-close-my-eyes-but-i'm-so-happy-there-is-surprise-for-me look :D she was so happy, unwrapped it immediately..ahhhh that happy look was priceless. love her so much <3

Exactly one more month to my birthday, nine more days to our 26th(!!!), four more days to Econs paper!!!! *chants* I can do it I can do it I can do it!


Headache headache headache!! so painful :( i'm gonna rest early today & wake up early tomorrow to continue studying! will be back blogging after the paper :>

For everything its worth, every breathe I take still hurts

This week, even before it ends, has been a awfully tiring one so far. One more week before I can finally take a break & say goodbye to fatigue & Econs, while I say hello to work & happier days (I really hope so)!

Yes, I said work, I didn't lie to you. I finally got a job!!! No more lazing around, doing nothing, waiting for money to drop from the sky, keep saying how I'm broke but not doing anything to save or earn. I'm so glad because the boss at the shop I'll be working at is really nice, and she's only 19!! Same as me.......how depressed. She's so successful with a shop of her own yet I'm still in the midst of completing my diploma. *sobsobz*

Been studying all day. Lunch at Ajisen with baby was pretty okay. Too much noodles, I couldn't finish. Or rather, I don't have my usual appetite today. I eat a lot lesser or a lot more when I get too stressed. :/ sighhhhh studying = headache. Econs = headache x 3498327!!!!

Baby told me today that we're going on Singapore Flyer on our next anniversary. I wonder if it's because she screwed up the previous one, thus she make it up this anniversary. But still, I really appreciate it. Why? Despite her fear of heights, she still wanna take me on Singapore Flyer. Thanks baby :> Now I can't wait to go up there with her :D

Friday tomorrow, and I'm not excited. Sissy got a week MC, which means she's gonna be home. How now brown cow? I really need a nice quiet place to study and start memorizing Econs. Baby said if we got the money, she'll book a hotel room just for us to study in peace. Ahhhh I wish :( but money is so precious and cute, I don't wanna waste it like that..I shall just stick to the uncomfy, hard chair and occasionally-cold aircon in the library with noisy guys watching videos, girls with fat fingers typing away.

I just need to bear with it for the next few days. Until 24th July, it shall be the last day I will ever touch on Econs or even talk Econs. Never ever. No fucking more. I will never do anything has gotta do with Econs. It kills too much of my brain cells! Oh, on a lighter note, Chrissy, Shermaine, bff & I will be going for steamboat after our paper on Friday!! <3 Can't wait to hang out with them & talk cock. After the exams, I MUST GO TO JEMI'S PLACE! Been saying this but not doing it at all. DIE DIE ALSO MUST GO OVER!

Ok back to Econs :( sighhhhhh

p/s: i hope things get better between us, baby. i love you :>

Maybe I'm not your everything & I'm never ever gonna be

Another day of hardcore mugging
Another day of reading Econs notes & only Econs notes
Another day of sitting at the long table in the library with bff
Another day of buying drinks/food from Cafe Galilee

I want 24th to come quick but then again, I need more time to study :(

 

When can we have some alone time :(
i miss cuddling with you bee.
i miss staying over at your crib,
like we own the whole house,
like this is a brand new life of ours together.

i want to feel loved again ♥  P/s: i feel like eating cup kimchi noodles now :(

Big girls still cry, so please be patient with me

'Time flies', as the saying goes. I was so glad to be reminded of him whenever I saw what he gave me when I was a little girl. Two years, today, there we were praying, at his second death anniversary. I still find it a wee bit hard that he is not around anymore. But I know, wherever he may be right now, he would want the best for me. I love you, kai-pa.


Woke up early and headed down to the temple to meet the rest of the family. Did the necessary praying and all that. Left at around 10.30am for breakfast at Braddell. Then we headed home. I studied a little of JNB before I start preparing to meet bb. I can't just go out without studying, I feel so bad :/

We went to Plaza by the Park. Had dim sum for start, since we were gonna meet the couple for dinner. The Kopitiam just renovated and it looks a lot better right now. The chairs are so cute, it's translucent! I always wanted the red one. There was this cafe at Millinia Walk, I don't know if it is still there, they've got all those colourful translucent chairs. Very pretty!

 

Siew mai, char siew bao

  

Chee cheong fun

 

Carrot cake

I really wanna have proper dim sum now at a restaurant. I want Crystal Jade. I want Hai Tian Lou :( sucks that dad is no longer a member at Pan Pacific arrrrgh ever since then, we stopped dining at Hai Tian Lou or going Pan Pac for drinks pfft

Raffles City, shopped around & bought nothing
Sat on the benches at City Link while waiting for bff to reply
Waited, and waited and waited and waited AND WAITED
We walked over to the train station and continued to wait.
Wait, waiting, waiting, been waiting.
Basically we didn't go anywhere but we spent the entire day waiting for bff to reply. Tsktsk *shakes head. AND FINALLY bee & I went to walk around at the basement of Raffles City to check out what we should have for dinner if they are not joining us. Shokudo seems nice but long queue! We chose Aerin's instead.

While waiting for them to come, we went to The CD Shop at came out $50 poorer. There was a promo going on, any three cds (selective ones) going for $49.90! When we walked in, they were playing Joanna Wang's songs which I've been wanting for a long long time since I worked at Cathay. Gramophone always play her songs! Very nice :)

 

Bevlyn Khoo's You Are My Angel

 

Joanna Wang's Start From Here

 

Olivia Ong's Fall In Love With

I've gotten most of the songs by Olivia Ong and bb just sent me the other two albums. I've to say Bevlyn Khoo is another great singer. Her voice is damn nice! I love the song You're My Angel from the album. It was originally sang by another Hong Kong singer. It was one of the theme songs for the drama series, which I cannot remember the name hahha. She wanted to get M.Y.M.P's new album, Absolute Acoustic but the only outlet that has got it is Paragon. So I told bb that I'll try to get it for her online instead since we won't be going town next weekend.

After that, we went to Aerin's, sat around and waited for them to come.

 

  

  

  

 

It's a very nice place to have dinner at, to be very honest. I love the ambiance there :) bb said we'll come here often if I like, teehee! They came and we started ordering our food and making hell lot of noise disturbing each other. Bff & Marilyn were sho schweeeeeet, they bought bb & I a bag of gummy sweets from Mark & Spencers :)))) Sank yew la sank yew!!!!

 

Marilyn's: M's affair - nice name but weird colour for a drink??

 

Bb's & bff's: Fish & Chips - a Must Try!! on the menu, IMO I think it's not too bad!

 

Mine: Spaghetti Prawn - very fresh prawns but overall, I don't like it

 

 

Marilyn's: Fish for Snapper (or whatever it is called) - very small portion!

Heard someone talking loudly and when I turned around, it was Gab and Deb, the adorably sweeeet couple! I love the two of them together :) I texted her and she turned around to say hi! Nice seeing you Deb, sorry that I didn't get a chance to say bye to you. You were really sweet by the way hehe!

 

  

  

  

  

 

Bill came, camwhored and left for the night market! Bought biscuits again, my favourite snack! I used to eat so much when I stayed in Gran's place. After moving out of Ang Mo Kio, mom don't buy me the biscuits cos only Gran knows I love it, especially when dipped into hot coffee! Teehee we walked the night market for the last time as they are closing already. Walked them to the bus stop and bb walked me home. I'm still smiling over her 'best friend below girlfriend, family same as best friend' & her 'xie xie girlfriend, okay, xie xie girlfriend'. :D


Today was spent at home, with the textbooks and notes. I almost lost control of my feelings today. I could've just taken the plunge and I won't be here right now. I need to start learning how to keep myself calm, don't take certain unnecessary things too seriously.

I was just saying that I wanna have dim sum earlier on in this entry and guess what mom just told me!!! She's bringing me for dim sum tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D And dad's driving which means yay I can wear heels :D Finally something worth being happy over.

OHZ by the way, M.Y.M.P's Absolute Acoustic is faaaaaaaaaaaaabulous. Every song is so soothing, it's like a lullaby. Very nice to fall asleep to. :)

OKI SAY GOODNIGHT AND GO FOR NAO. S factor is coming up on Channel 5 in awhile!

I need your voice on the phone to remind me of how brave I am

A long update ahead!
I'll try to keep it short and sweet though. Need to head back to the notes after this!

28th April, Tuesday
I was home with bff all day. Studying JNB, writing notes, checking Restaurant City throughout.

I was writing notes, while bff was resting..
"Oh, one customer left because too slow.... You need a new table... Customer left... Not enough table... One more left..."

If you do play RC, you'd know what am I talking about.
She was chanting away and I couldn't take it, I went OK SHUT UP I KNOW EARNING 2 BUCKS FROM EVERY CUSTOMER IS NOT ENOUGH RELAX I WILL BUY MORE TABLES AND BETTER STOVE!!

29th April, Wednesday
It was our 23rd month anniversary but I, unfortunately, woke up to a bad start. Got shouted at for a morning call. Had lunch at Mac's with bee. Bff came later in the afternoon and we went to the library to study. Bee stayed for awhile to read books (and also disturb us hahaha). After she left, bff did something so slyyyyyy that got me laughing. Bought a little something for Jemsy! Really hope she likes it! saw it and thought of her hehe! Pass to you on Tuesday when I see you for the paper babe :) bought magazines and waited for Marilyn to come before I left for home.

The other day, I was complaining that the table I'm using right now is about to break in no time if I continue to use it with my heavy laptop and laptop cooler. So I told mom I wanted a new one and hopefully a bigger one.

Guess what my parents got for me?

 

New table for me!

A new, much bigger folded table! How sweet of them ^^

Zel went to the library to study with her friend, so it was just the three of us for dinner. Peace and quiet, me likey! Mom and dad went to the mall to get some stuff and picked sis on their way back. They came home with a cake from Breadtalk for mom! We sang the birthday song and took pictures (we were in boxers and pale faces hahahaha) as dad thinks that we won't have the time to do it the next day after coming home from the concert.

30th April, Thursday
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!
I love you ♥ :)


Mom wasn't home all day until late evening. Bff and I had lunch over at my place and we studied until she had to leave to meet Marilyn. Play was having the PJS party and ugh I missed it because it was mom's birthday and exams are coming, I can't just leave the books and party like that, I feel bad if I do :/ I love themed parties, we should have a themed party soon.

After I got dressed up, we left for NAFA Campus 3. It was SJC's AE Night and Zel was performing so we bought tickets to watch. Met Zel outside the theatre, talked for a bit and we went to sit while she went backstage to prepare.

Saw a lot of familiar faces. Favourite part of the concert? The part when everyone sang along to the IJ song, Hold on to Our Dream. Felt like home again :) I miss being an IJ girl, in a blue uniform, a 10 minutes walk to and fro school, and not having to worry about money at all :(

No photos, it's still in the dslr!

1st May, Friday
Public holiday, Labour Day, came at the right time when all of us needed a break from school or work. Went over to Aunt Shirley's place for a gathering. It felt like it was weekend already but it was only Friday. Too excited about the weekend, aren't I? I had a lot of fun with the two girls, Jermaine and Jenae. Jenae is getting very very naughty! She pulled Jermaine's hair to ask her to go away. She whined and pretended to cry so she'd get what she want. Really naughty!

After we had dinner and set around until about 10pm, Zel suggested to have supper at the newly opened Mac's outlet at Anchorvale Community Center so we all went. It was a greeeaaat night :)

Photos are with Zel and she just refused to send them to me! :@

Mom asked my maid to let Elmo sit in the sun occasionally to avoid bad odours and bed bugs. Guess what she did to Elmo? This was what I saw in the balcony when I woke up in the morning.

I know right!? Elmo's like commiting suicide in the wrooooong way hahaha!


YAY Saturday is finally here :) :) <3
Blog more with photos later!

All I need to know is that I'm something you'll be missing

Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise & the lips to pucker.

I miss you gal gal :( I know you'll be like giving me that what the hell? look in reply to that. I kinda want you here with me right now. It feels horrible here, all over again. I'm just stressing myself up over nothing, nothing at all. It's what is coming and what I'm about to face that I am afraid of. I don't know, I just feel like this battle is too much for me. I can't keep fighting, going on like how I've been for the past years. I'm so so exasperated. Like I said today, if I cannot take it anymore, I will go off from here. This is where I'll leave this as it is. I cannot take it anymore.......

Hate what we spoke of today. Hate what we discussed over lunch. Hate the things I've to worry about.

(Anonymous: Keep your comments to yourself. You can go bitch about me in your MSN conversation with your bff, I don't really care. Unless necessary, or you think it is worth it, you might wanna risk leaving your crap here as a comment. I might accept it, I might delete it. Up to you :))

Y'know honestly, I just wanna know that throughout tough times like these, you won't desert me. I only wanna know that you'll help me through this no matter how hard is it gonna be for you or for me. I don't know why it aches so much here typing this, why my eyes are all watery...

Well, okay back to updates! Today:
x I woke up early
x postman ('twas a female, actually..) came by my doorstep and gave me the package, package filled with my pretty blazer!!!!
x helped Gran with her ezlink card and accompanied her to wait for her bus
x had lunch at Ajisen with bblove
x Apple red earpiece or Philips Bubbles SHE3650? - I cannot decide!
x bff came, bought food and bb walked us back to my place before leaving for home
x 'm glad bblove likes the blazer! her expression was like :S when she was trying it on
x settled down, studied and did 3 topics in less than 4 hours!
x watched Ellen, and we studied until dad came home from his jog
x bff left, we had dinner!
x tv, facebook - restaurant city, MSN conversations

Grandma, get well soon, I love you (L)


Sometimes I wish life isn't this tough. Sometimes I wish I don't have to fight to get what I want. Sometimes I wish I was a spoilt princess who gets whatever she wants without having to work for it. Sometimes I wish love is for ever. Sometimes I wish our distances could be less than 10 kilometres away from each other. Sometimes I wish I could run, run to a faraway place to stay happy. Sometimes I wish happiness isn't short-lived. Sometimes I wish you could be me for a day so you'll know why I've been/I'm worrying myself sick.

Didn't mean to have another emo post on again tonight but my life sucks right now (or rather, it is just me) as you can tell. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that tomorrow will be much better, I will feel better and mugging with the girls would make me gay and chippy :)

Love all, goodnight.


P/s: I just realised my last movie was really long ago. Ftw Mall Cop!?
P/p/s: Two more days to 29th!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P/p/p/s: I feel green when I see happy couple, fml