Honestly, I struggle with the believing in myself part.
This makes me laugh, it is so true.
I love C.S. Lewis. He’s one of the people I hope to meet in heaven one day.
Word.
This particular quote pertains to me and my Project Size Six journey. Its easy to discredit my body for not being what I want it to be but it’s a pretty amazing body, I mean, I grew four humans in my body!
This is our cast of characters. We had a fun gathering at Ev and James’ new house in Laguna Hills with some visiting Johnson cousins too. The kids were super excited when people in the neighborhood were handing out regular sized candy bars!
Sadie was Dorothy from Wizard of Oz (that pose is ALL her idea, don’t give me any credit), Ethan was a spy and Luke was a cowboy.
This picture wasn’t from Halloween but I had to throw it in here. Her costume came in handy for the Carden Country Fair. She’s just too cute.
Sadie turned five almost five months ago and here I am finally documenting it on the blog.
She got to stay home from school that day (and she requested that her brothers stay home too…don’t know, peer pressure?) and the highlight was going to get her first pedicure! If you know Sadie then you know how ticklish she is, especially on her feet. I have the HARDEST time trimming her toe nails because it tickles her too much and she won’t sit still but her pedicure brought out some self-restraint I’ve never seen before. She sat there, completely silent (also one of her traits when she’s around new people, won’t talk to them) and let the pedicurist (is this a word? anyway, I’m going with it) do her thing. But when it came time for the pedicurist to trim her nails Sadie grabbed the seat back behind her and tried her hardest not to squirm. It was the funniest thing! I wish I had recorded it. I could see on her face that she was reeeally trying not to kick her foot free from the woman’s grasp. Of course, Sadie chose a pink color on her toes and got to decorate it with a white flower (why didn’t I take a picture of the finished toes?).
For weeks, Sadie was telling me all about her plan for her birthday cake. She wanted vanilla cake with vanilla frosting and she wanted to decorate it herself.
The finished birthday cake! She even took the pictures herself.
Pre birthday song picture.
We love you, Sadie Anne! We’re so glad you introduced our family to pink and princesses, dancing and all things feminine. You are fearless when it comes to your wardrobe and I hope you keep it up. We love all your sweet love notes you draw for us these days. Its been so fun watching you learn to read and write. I love that you carry around an old folder stuffed with treasured papers and blank pages you are constantly drawing on. Your dad and I hope that Claire has your same happy spirit. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are important.
1. I miss blogging. For some reason I like putting my feelings and thoughts “out there”…its kind of therapeutic. Especially when my readers (are you still there?) comment and tell me I’m not as crazy as I think I am…right? right?
2. I’ve given up on my Resolutions for 2013. One of them, run 520 miles, was completely irrational to begin with considering that I didn’t give birth to Claire until March and wasn’t able to officially begin running until mid April. Doesn’t leave much time for accomplishing that goal. To be honest, I still haven’t gotten this body of mine up to running snuff. I was reading the Hungry Runner Girl’s blog the other day and just WIIIIIISHING I could be her. Not to mention RunEmz that I follow on Instagram. She’s another one of my running idols. Maybe this resolution will go on the list for 2014, I think that’s going to be my year. Anyone want to join me? I love having companions.
3. Losing baby weight is feeling as impossible as flying. That was another one of my Resolutions for 2013, be a size 6 by the end of the year. I’m thinking that’s not going to happen. I’m not giving up on this one but its just not going to happen by the end of the year, breaks my heart. Its just not as easy to exist on lettuce leaves and carrot sticks as I thought it would be. Darn you, doughnuts and Chick-fil-a. Thankgoodness for yoga pants.
4. I actually cried the other day when I realized how quickly Claire is getting older. Its just flying by. She’s army crawling and getting two more teeth up top. She’s started talking her beautiful baby gibberish but my proudest momma moment is how she just can’t live without me. She doesn’t let anyone else hold her and I kind of love that…until I have to make dinner or go to the bathroom.
5. I’m going to cry when Sadie turns five on Monday. Ever since she started kindergarten (aka JP at Carden) she just LOOKS so much older. Its sad. I mean, I know the whole purpose of being a parent is to raise children so that they become good adults and go on to marry and have their own children and all that circle of life goodness but its just so sad to see them grow out of their cute little selves. To be honest, getting closer to teenagers just gives me the heebie jeebies.
6. Ethan got the service award in his 4th grade class today at school. He was so proud of himself. I was too. The 7th graders did a great (insert tear jerking) skit on service and even quoted good ol’ Gordon B. Hinckley a couple times. They ended their presentation with singing “We are the World.” How am I supposed to NOT cry when a group of teenagers sings THAT song?! I’m too sentimental, I need a thicker skin stat.
7. I started doing Les Mills Pump last week. I LOOOOVE it. I feel so tough with a barbell and weights. Don’t be fooled though, I only have 5 lb. and 10 lb. plates so far.
8. Alright, that’s the end of my list for today. Claire is grabbing my shirt and trying to eat my arm. I think she’s done watching me type. Peace out.
I’m still feeling some guilt about Luke’s birthday and baptism weekend. Steve and I both got hit with head colds that left us feeling exhausted and overall crummy. Luke was patient with us and we tried to make it fun, nonetheless. It helped that Grandpa Dan came into town (although, we ended up getting him sick too…we’re generous that way…haha). Grandpa and Dad took Luke, Ethan and Sadie to go bowling – Luke’s pick. We took him out to dinner at his choice – Souplantation. And he was showered with gifts by all his cousins and family. Not too shabby, right?
His birthday fell on Sunday, September 1st and we planned his baptism to take place that evening also. I don’t know how he and Ethan got lucky enough to be baptized on their birthdays, I’m kind of jealous.
We had the family over for a dinner and birthday celebration then we quickly headed off to the Stake center to get ready for the big event!
Luke had given me specific instructions for his cake about 3 weeks before his birthday. He wanted a vanilla cake, with lemon frosting filling and vanilla frosting on the outside of the cake. Then he wanted to decorate it himself. He was really understanding when I got sick and didn’t have the energy to make his cake. His face lit up when I came home with bundt cakes I ordered from Nothing Bundt Cake, especially for him.
Luke was very excited to be baptized! He planned out his baptism right down to which member of the Bishopric he wanted to conduct the meeting (thankfully it wasn’t his dad!).
Our family of 6
Luke and both his Grandfathers, Dan and Mark, who were the witnesses.
Some fun facts about Luke:
We love you bunches and bunches, Luke!!!
It all began at 5 o’clock in the morning. It was still dark outside and no one was awake but me. I got out of bed and headed to the first place most pregnant women need to go in the morning…the loo a.k.a. bathroom. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it. My water broke after just a few steps! That has never happened to me and I was in shock. My shocked gasps followed by my cry for Steve! woke him up. I had a puddle at my feet, sorry if that’s too much information but most of the readers of my blog are women, women who have been through child birth so you can stomach it right?
I called Dr. Clayton and he told me the obvious, go to the hospital...and don’t take your time. Steve woke the kids, called my mom to come over and I frantically packed my bags. My head was swimming. I had never had a baby unannounced like this. All my previous babies I had notice so I could plan for the hospital. Steve took Dr. C’s advice to heart and was rushing us out the door. We were at the hospital by 5:30am.
After getting hooked up, (have I mentioned I hate IVs?) there was a lot of waiting. I planned on laboring on my own as long as I could, hoping that the process would be quickest this way. But by 1:30pm and no baby I finally agreed to have my epidural. I say agreed not to mean I was opposed to it. I love epidurals. I whole heartedly believe in epidurals. But I was under the impression it would slow my labor down and I wanted this baby out sooner than later. My nurse, Ellie, told me that it wouldn’t necessarily slow me down and that it might even allow my body to speed up the process because of the relief from the tension of the pain from the contractions. After hearing that I agreed and had my epidural administered.
Just as Ellie said, within an hour of having my epidural I was dilated from a 4 to a 7 and then a 10 just shortly after that. The doctor was called and by 3:55pm Claire Mae was born at 8 lbs. 6 oz. and 21 inches long. Isn’t she lovely?
February was supposed to go by faster than it did. But, then again, when I’m 8/8.5 months pregnant everything seems to be really slow. I liked February still, there were some good moments.
For one, its not every day I get a manicure from a beautiful four year old girl. My Sadie loves make up and nail polish. I love that this nail polish can easily be peeled off my nails, no acetone required. Sweet.
I wouldn’t go so far as to call this next event one of the “highlights” of February. It was not fun, by any definition of the word, but it did have good results so I’m at peace with it. I’m talking about my external version I had to have performed in order to turn baby girl from breech to head down. Basically, Dr. Clayton pushed down on my belly in a clockwise motion, as hard as he could, trying to get baby to turn. She did turn and I was warned she could go back to the breech position. Thankfully, she never did. The 5-7 minutes of extreme pain I had to endure were worth it.
The only good part of a hospital stay at Hoag is their cranberry spritzer. yum. But the picture above, of my horrible IV, makes me shudder. yuck.
Let’s keep things real with a picture of Sadie’s messy room. This is basically a daily event. Its so much fun trying to get her to clean it up. Lots of threatening goes on, its great…or not.
After my version, there were lots of hospital visits to check on baby girl and make sure she was ok.
Ethan’s Blue and Gold dinner was pretty cute. I love how much he loves Scouts.
He was pretty proud of the cake he decorated with his dad. We kind of think it was the coolest one there too.
We got our house painted!! I love my black door. The house looks so much nicer on the outside now. Its grey, if you can’t tell.
I had a fun little girls night out for a baby shower. My sisters had the great idea of having everyone meet for dinner at Green Leaf. It was delicious and such good company! Thanks, girls.
I was rewarded after leaving the temple with a beautiful sunset. Could it be any better? For that one moment, I felt pretty darn close to heaven. Why don’t those moments last longer?
Last month Steve and I were surprised when Ethan got up, unannounced and completely unprovoked, in Sacrament meeting and bore his testimony. It was short and sweet, typical of a young boy in Primary but it was monumental all the same. He is not the person that takes speaking in public lightly so I knew it took something special to get him up there. I asked him later and he said that his knees were shaking so he knew he had to get up.
Good job, Ethan! I hope you continue to listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost and bear your testimony as often as prompted. After I recovered from the shock that you got up to bear your testimony my heart was swelling with motherly pride and emotion. Testimonies are so important. I hope you will always nurture yours and remember it. One day you will be a missionary, possibly serving in a foreign country, and your testimony will be what the people you serve need to hear and feel.
Ethan, I know God lives. I know He knows you and me and every person on this Earth. I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the church of God. I know Jesus Christ is our Savior. I know the Atonement is real. I know the scriptures are true. There are many things I still have to learn but I know that living life as close to my Father in Heaven as possible is the best way to go. I love you, Mom.
