God Is Calling Me To Marriage

This is the article that I wrote for last year's seminary magazine "The Journey 2010". When I first proposed the title of the article, I got many puzzled looks and jokes about whether I was going through a vocation crisis. Read the article to find out more.

I once asked a boy in a confirmation camp, what was stopping him from being holy. And his reply was “I don’t want to become a priest”. That answer surprised me. But when I got that same answer from another boy at that camp, it got me thinking. Why was holiness exclusive to the Priesthood? It seems that for those boys, if one were to be holy, it was because he was thinking of becoming a priest, which means that a normal lay person does not have to be holy, or at least not so holy. Sadly this view is shared by many Catholics,

Call to Holiness
In that same line, if I were to ask a young person today “have you discerned your vocation?”, often the answer would be, “no lah, I don’t think that God is calling me to be a priest/nun” The word “vocation” has come to be synonymous with the priesthood and religious life. Partly it could be that the usage of the word has always been linked to priesthood and religious life. Think of terms like “Vocation Sunday” and “Vocation Promotion Team”.

Part of my journey in my renewal of faith in 2003 was to discover what it meant to be Catholic, what it meant to be a disciple of the Lord. I learnt from the Parable of the Rich Young Man (Mt 19:16-22), that it was not just about keeping the commandments, but to follow Christ. And it was in the Lord’s Prayer that I found my answer – “your will be done on earth as it is heaven”. Having prayed that prayer so many times, I realised that it is not an abstract prayer that somewhere, sometime and someone will do God’s will, but that I as Christian, am praying that I may do the Lord’s will in my life. I knew then that I had to discern my vocation. To grow in holiness meant doing the Lord’s will, which meant discerning and living out the call, the vocation that He had made me for.

The Call to Marriage
One of the most common questions I get asked is "how do you know that God is calling you to priesthood?" Recently I have tried a new response to that question. If the one asking is a married person, I would ask them "how do you know that God called you to marriage?" Often the response would be a blank stare or forced laughter. Sometimes the honest ones will say they never really discerned or that they were not that holy when they got married. Then I would ask them how they are living out their marriage vocation now. Silence again.

Vocation Crisis
We often hear that the Church is facing a Vocation Crisis, because of the dwindling numbers entering the priesthood and religious life. But I believe the real Crisis in Vocations is that our Catholics have stopped believing that God has a Will for each and everyone. If our married couples do not see their marriage as part of their call from God to live a life of holiness, are they truly living out a married vocation? Or is their marriage just the same as any non-Catholic marriage.

If every young person were to be asking God “Lord, how do you want me to live my life?”, I am sure that not only will we have more priestly and religious vocations. We will have stronger marriages and better Catholic families where the faith is lived out.

God is Calling Me to Marriage
In my ministry, I have had the privilege of meeting some couples who have shared how God called them to the marriage vocation. But the number of them are fewer than the number of seminarians we have in the seminary. My wish is for all young people to discover God’s call in their lives, so that they will be able to grow in holiness. And also for those who are already married, to find out and live out their marriage as a vocation. It is a call to love, to serve, to lay down their lives for their spouse, for their family, and be the light of Christ in the world.

To read the rest of the articles in the Journey 2010, you can download the pdf version at this link.

Vocation Discernment and Kampung Punggol

A bit of advertisment here.
There are two vocation discernment events that are being organised these two months.

First would be the Vocation Discernment Tools Workshop.
In response to the question of "How do we discern God's call?" that many young people are asking today. The Seminary and Serra Club are organising this workshop for young people who are discerning, those working with young people, or vocation promotion teams.

This Workshop is open to everyone of all ages and gender. You can register with the Serra Club at this website

The Second Event would be the Vocation Discernment Retreat in May
This Retreat is for young men over the age of 17, who would like to find out more about the priesthood, and to discern if God is calling them to the priestly vocation.

You can register for this through the priest of your parish, or email to seminariansonline@gmail.com

The Seminary also has a new website at www.sfxms.org.sg. Actually its been up for quite a while, just that I've never blogged about it. We are still trying to improve certain parts of it, especially the photo gallery. So if anyone has suggestions, feel free to email them to seminariansonline@gmail.com

And Lastly the Singapore Seminarians have come up with a blog, to share our life and reflections in this ulu part of Singapore that we affectionately call Kampung Punggol. So do give it a visit. The links are on the right side of this blog.

Synergy

This afternoon, just before our mid-day prayer, I was doing some thinking of advertisments which can be used for sessions to explain the faith or values, when the Honda advert below came to mind. I was quite delighted with that idea when lo and behold, the Scripture reading for our mid-day prayer was:

As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free persons, and we were all given to drink of one Spirit - 1Cor 12:12-13.

This kind of things can really give you a WOW! feeling of God's presence.

Honda Ad - Cog

I was thinking about the idea of community, being many different parts AND working together, which was why I thought of this ad. But as I thought further, there is also another more subtle lesson to learn from this ad. While it was nice to see the "domino" effect of the many different parts of the car from the start to the beginning, that is all it is - nice to see but going nowhere. And my realisation was that it was because the different parts were doing things that were not their intended purpose. Why is the wiper crawling on the floor? Why is the exhaust pipe spinning around? Sure they fulfilled some function, but in the end they did not move very far. Then we look at the finished product, the car. The car is made up of all those parts, used in the correct way, each one doing what they were meant to do, and the end result is that the car moves, and all the parts move together and further.

That is SYNERGY. One of those coporate buzzwords that we try to use to make our presentations more impressive and bombastic. I still remember one of my modules in uni, where there was this student we called "Synergy guy", because at every tutorial we had, he was sure to talk about synergy. Synergy is the phenomenon that takes place when two or more things working together achieve more than the sum of their individual achievements. In english, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. In maths, that means 1 + 1 = 3 or 4 or 5.5...

And maybe that is what is lacking in the Church and communities. There are many different talents, different gifts, different individuals, all moving on their own and but not moving together and thus not getting very far. Some want to move, but on their own they only move a certain distance. Others are not even moving. How do we achieve this synergy? How do we move together.

Using the ad as an example, I think it really stems from knowing one's purpose. The wheel is meant to rotate, but it needs to be connected to the engine to go fast and far. The nut on the other hand shouldn't be rolling around, it should be holding the parts of the car together. The wiper definitely shouldn't be wiping the ground, it should be cleaning the windscreen to make sure the driver can see where to go. Sadly to say, we are hampered by some parts who are standing alone and not connected, some parts who are playing roles they are not supposed to be doing, or doing it because the ones meant to do it are not doing it.

Personally, I know I am probably in one of those catergories, and that is why I know I have to continue on this road of discovery of self (who God made me to be), and purpose (what He wants me to do). And the last part of fitting myself into the bigger picture of the communities I am in and the Church as a whole. Working with other different individuals so that synergy can take place, to accomplish Christ's mission here on earth, and bring all of us together into eternal life.

Novena - Say Yes First, Ask Why Later

Dear brothers and sisters, we just celebrated the new year on Monday, which means this is the first novena of the year. I am sure that many of us over the course of the last few days have been reviewing the year that has gone by, and come up with resolutions, decisions, to change something, to do something. I too have gone through that process, of thinking how I can better live this year.

But this year as I was doing my new year resolutions, I have had a revelation in my life that I would like to share with you. I found myself asking “How am I going to live as a better Christian this year”. Actually it all started when I watched the movie “Nativity Story”. It is a really good movie, especially for the Christmas period, because it gives us an idea of the thoughts, the fears and the struggles that Mary and Joseph must have faced.

In the Nativity Story, there is one scene, where Mary and Elizabeth are grinding wheat and making bread. Elizabeth asks Mary, “Are you afraid?” and Mary replies “Yes”. Then Mary asks Elizabeth, “Elizabeth, Why is it me God has asked? I am nothing.” This question “Why is it me God has asked?” has been going through my mind ever since. “Why me? Why not someone else? Who am I? What have I to offer?” And the answer I got was, “If not you then who? I made you for a purpose, you are not some random act or an accident.”

And that is the amazing thing, my dear brothers and sisters, that God has a purpose, a reason for each and everyone of us being here today. There is a reason why we are all here in 2007, in Singapore, working or studying at a particular place, with the friends we have. All so that we can be like Mary, and bring the light and love of Jesus to the people around us and to the world.

I just read in yesterday’s NewPaper, a story about a man, Wesley Autrey, who jumped in front of a train to save a man who had fallen onto the tracks. In the interview he said, “I saw someone in distress and went to his aid”. And his mother added, “He was there to help somebody who needed help more than him. He didn't think twice. He dived in, like he said. He helped the guy and God helped them.” Notice the words “He didn’t think twice”, I think if I was there at the train station, I might have thought twice, “Why me, why do I have to be the one to jump onto the track to save the guy?” And by the time I think and think, the chance would have been gone. It really made me reflect on the many times I have hesitated, I have questioned God that I missed the opportunity.


I can recall a few instances of on the bus and MRT, when I see an elderly person needing a seat, I think should I, should I not? And by that time, someone else has already offered their seat. Too often I spend more time thinking of the Why God is asking me, instead of the more important question of What God is asking me? We see Wesley Autrey who did what he had to do. We also have a perfect Christian model in Mary, who said Yes to God. She only questioned later, Why her, not because she wished it was someone else, but the wonder and awe that God would choose her who is nothing.

So my brothers and sisters, the question that we need to ask ourselves as we begin this new year is “What is God asking?”. What is God asking me to do this year? What is God asking me to do in my life? Who does He want me to reach out to?

It could be a simple gesture of visiting an old folks home to bring joy to the residents there. It could be to bring reconciliation among family members. These are only examples, because as I said earlier, each and everyone of us is unique, in our own different circumstances. And God is calling each of us to be Light of the World and Salt of the Earth here and now.

For me I know God is calling me back to the Seminary after my holidays, to continue my formation, to continue to grow in my relationship. I ask that you keep all of us seminarians in your prayers, and also to continue to pray for more vocations to the priesthood and religious life. That more young men and women will find out what God is asking of them, and that they will have the courage like Mother Mary, to say Yes first, and ask Why later. Amen