Garden vs Desert - 1st Sunday of Lent

We have often heard it said, that for those who handle large amounts of money or hold important positions, we need to pay them well to prevent the temptation of corruption. Or others who say, "Let me earn enough... before I can ...".

An interesting thought came to me as I was at Mass today, and reflecting on the readings. When we compare the environment in the First Reading (Gn 3:1-7) and the Gospel (Mt 4:1-11), we see two drastic contrasting situations. In the Garden of Eden, also known as Paradise, it was a land of abundance, where Adam & Eve had all they needed to meet their needs. On the opposite end, we have the Wilderness or Desert, where Jesus was, with no food or water, a sparse cruel land.

If we use the thinking mentioned above, one would think that Adam & Eve would be more than satisfied with all that they had, wanting nothing more. And Jesus having fasted for forty days and "was hungry". would have been craving for his first bite to break his fast.

And yet we see the irony, the one who had everything fell for the temptation of the devil to eat the forbidden fruit. And the one who was hungry was able to resist the temptation to change stones into bread. Sounds like some topsy-turvy fantasy world. It just doesn't make sense.

But it does when we reflect further, and it is linked to the recommended practice of Fasting, especially during this time of lent. It is not so much about the giving up of something that we like, but it is the reminding ourselves that man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes forth from the mouth of God. Fasting helps us to realise that the only necessary thing we need in our lives is God. It helps us to realise that we can live 40 days without chocolate, cigarettes, facebook, or whatever may seem to have taken precedence over God in our lives.

The readings remind us that it is foolish to think that if we acquire what we need and what we want, we will be satisfied. Because there will always be more money to be earned, more possessions to have, more new things to do than we will ever have the time to try them all. It is when we fast, that we enter the desert like Jesus, and realise the superfluousness (cheem word I learnt recently - means unnecessary) of so many material things in our lives.

So let us enter the desert, where in the silence and emptiness, we will hear God's voice, enter into His embrace and experience His love that satisfies all hearts.

Life-Giving

In the last week, the theme of being life-giving has been coming up over and over again.

First it was an article in the newspaper where a MP conducted a straw poll, finding that there is a tipping point, a monetary value of benefits that the government can offer to women to encourage them to have children. It was suggested that an amount of $500,000, half a million dollars would change the minds of some childless women. I wonder if that is the real reason why couples (not only the woman) are not having children? Is it that it is too expensive to raise a child in this day and age? Or is it a matter of values and attitudes towards child-bearing and being life-giving. Could it be the notion that having a child is too troublesome, restricts the freedom, limits career prospect, which is delaying or stopping couples from having children.

This was contrasted when we were doing the story of Jephthah's daughter in Jdg 11, who went to bemoan her virginity because she was going to die before fulfilling the mission of her womanhood - that of bearing a child. There are so many stories of women in the bible (Sarah,...etc), where being barren is seen as a curse, and when they are gifted with a child, there is much thanks to God for the gift and blessing that the child is.

Furthermore, I have the two birds flying to and fro, building their nest on my balcony, one strand at a time. These birds with their "small little bird brains" compared to our human intelligence, yet are able to know their purpose and to bring forth new life. Seeing them fly tireless to-and-fro weaving the nest strand by strand, surely limits their "freedom", taking up 4 whole days, reminds and challenges me that I have to be life-giving and tireless in living out this Mission and Vocation that God has called and entrusted to me.



Talking about being life-giving, Wednesday during our afternoon-off, I joined 2 other brother seminarians as they went to donate blood. This was my first time donating blood, and on our journey to the blood bank, I asked both to share why they regularly donate blood. One brother shared that when his father was in hospital and needed blood, it was readily provided, and as such he feels that he wants to donate, so that others too may have blood when they need it. The other brother who is from Malaysia, shared the situation back home, where if a person requires blood for an operation, they will be required to find donors to replace the number of packets used.

Listening to their sharings, and after going through the relatively simple, painless and fast process of donating blood, I started to reflect on this whole experience. Firstly, why have I not donated blood before? It was not that troublesome or time-consuming. In fact there was a guy who was there next to me, who came on his birthday. He had taken a half-day off for his birthday, and there he was donating blood. I guess for myself it was the lack of awareness, or urgency. Most of the time it would need a dramatic situation to jerk me out of my comfort zone. But thankfully I have these 2 brothers who encouraged and motivated me with their own inspiring examples.

Secondly, what is my motivation for donating blood? In the army, those who donate blood get to skip strenuous exercise for the day. For me, it would be the free chocolate brownie and Milo at the cafe after donating blood. Jokes aside, as it is understood in the Old Testament by the Jews, that blood is life, then donating blood would be one of the ways that I can be life-giving. I am just satisfied that my blood can be a gift of someone in need. In fact I would recommend everyone who is physically able, to donate regularly. There is always someone in need of it, don't wait till you need it then realise the importance of it.

Rosy Cheeks or Blind & Bogay

A young boy once asked me this riddle:

"How do you tell the difference between a person in heaven and a person in hell?"
"One has a halo and wings, the other has horns?"
"No. The one in heaven has rosy cheeks and is fit and muscular, the one in hell is blind and bogay (no teeth)".
"How is that so?"
"Because the one in hell takes a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye. The one in heaven has rosy cheeks because he offers the other cheek when he is slapped, and fit because he walks two miles when others walk one."

While this riddle takes what Jesus said in the Gospel (Mt 5:38-48) literally, it does help us visualize the difference between the life of love and the life of hatred. The life of hatred allows hatred and vengeance to perpetuate which will result in a world full of blind and toothless people. But in a world of love and forgiveness, the one who receives injury or insult, puts a stop to it by not taking revenge. He in fact tries to further eradicate hatred by "going that extra mile", by loving the enemy. In loving the enemy, it is not so much doing something good to gain our own salvation, but by loving the enemy, we are trying to help change the person to be better person.

In the battle between good and evil, love and hate, I use scenes from two movies to remind of what Christ was trying to teach us.

First in the movie "Fearless" starring Jet Li, we see the cycle of hatred going on, when first Jet Li's disciple is beaten up by, he goes to take revenge and ends up killing his rival. His rival's godson then takes revenge by killing his wife and child. Jet Li then goes to his rival's house, but before he can get his revenge, the rival's godson commits suicide, denied of his revenge, he turns to his rival's wife and child. In the principle of an eye for an eye, he could have had his revenge for what he himself lost. But he comes to his senses, and walks away. Thus we see how hatred can only stop when one party decides not to revenge a hurt.

The second movie, illustrates Christ call to love. In the movie, "Pay It Forward", a boy Trevor starts a class assignment on a plan to make the world a better place. He decides to do 3 good deeds and he tells the recipients of the good deeds not to repay him, but to do 3 good deeds to someone else. In one chain we see Trevor helping his mum, who in turn forgives her mother, who helps a gang member, who in turn saves a girl's life, and then the Father of the girl gives away his car to a journalist whose car was smashed. At the end of the movie, we see how one boy's initiative touches the lives of so many people.

This is the question that we are faced with - Do we want to be part of the chain that passes on hatred, or the chain that spreads love?

Fall on your knees

Merry Christmas to one and all!
I just want to share a wonderful encounter I had with the Lord this Christmas.

I was at Mass on Christmas Day, it was just after Communion, and I was praying when the choir started to sing O Holy Night for the Thanksgiving Hymn. As I reflected on having just received Christ, the words of the song started to strike me. How we in the world wearied by sin is pining for the Lord, and His coming frees us and fills us with joy and light. And of course when the choir sang the chorus, I trembled with the awe of just being on my knees before our Lord, imagining what the shepherds might have felt kneeling before the baby Jesus in the simple manger.

I hope that this Christmas was as good for you as it was for me. God Bless.

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friend.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

4th Last Word of Jesus - ...why have you forsaken me?

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
Mk 15:34

One way of looking at this was that Jesus was reciting the first line of Psalm 22 which contained prophecies that were fulfilled at his passion (the enemies jeering, dividing of clothes and gambling for the tunic). Or that Jesus was experiencing the consequences of our sin, that disconnectedness with God, that he took upon himself willingly, and so he was voicing out the anguish that he was feeling with the words from the psalm.

As I reflected on the word forsaken, and I looked at my life, I don't think that I have ever done what Jesus did. In times when I'm down, I seldom turn to God until I'm really desperate. I can't say that I've ask God why has he forsaken me because I know its always I who have forsaken him first. It shows the shallowness of my faith and relationship with God.

In my first year of seminary, I read a few books by the Jesuit priest, Fr Thomas Green, on prayer and the deepening of our relationship with God. I wrote a few reflections on my blog on what I had learnt. In one that I wrote in lent 4 yrs ago, I wrote about what spiritual consolation and desolation was. And my second last paragraph, I said that I had not experienced full desolation yet, concluding that I'm not holy enough. Maybe now still not holy.

Read the post if you are wondering why holiness leads to desolation (a sense of abandonment by God). St John of the Cross calls it the Dark Night of the Soul. While deepening of spiritual life one will encounter spiritual dryness, desolation. Mother Teresa went through years of desolation, as revealed in the recent book "Come Be My Light". When the book was published, it sparked off many comments from the secular world, that she didn't believe in God, that she was a hypocrite professing a faith in a God she didn't believe in. But this spiritual desolation is not something that the world will understand. Even most Catholics do not know or understand that there is such a thing or that it exists.

Luckily God only allows it to happen to those who he knows are strong enough to perservere through it, and those who are willing to lay down their lives for him. It is a means through which God purifies our soul, to love him as he loved us. A test of our faith, whether we will still be faithful to seek him even if we do not have the good feeling that spiritual consolation brings. It brings to mind the faith that Abraham had. He was probably in highest consolation when God granted him a son in his old age. But what must have gone through when God asked him to sacrifice that same son.

In my younger days, I remember borrowing a question and answer book from the church library that had this question - "What if I scold God?". I remember that the answer started by saying that its ok, because at least you still have a relationship with God, that you still believe in him enough to expect something from him, and that you can get angry with him.

On a final note, I realised that I haven't reached a familiarity with the scriptures to be able use it in my prayer with God. I am probably like the bystanders who didn't know their psalms enough to recognise what it was. And that the last part of the psalm praises and glorifies God for the deliverance that he has granted.

The 5th Word for tomorrow's reflection is

"I Thirst"
Jn 19:28

3rd Last Word of Jesus - Woman, here is your son...

"Woman, here is your son...
Here is your mother."
Jn 19:26-27

One reason why I like to read Archbishop Fulton Sheen's writings, is his ability to see scripture from a different perspective. When I look at this passage of Jesus giving his mother to the disciple he loved, I see it from two points of view. One that despite his own suffering, Jesus was worried about his mother, that he entrusts her, a widow, into the care of his disciple. The other viewpoint is that the disciple was not named, so that he represents all of us, to whom Jesus gives his mother.

Bishop Sheen being from America, would have used the New American Bible translation, and the word used there is "Behold your son". In this day, we don't really use the word "behold" anymore, so the other translations use "this" or "here". But the word "behold" has a richer meaning than "this" or "here". More than just a statement, it is command to see and look. It is used in John's Gospel when referring to Jesus by John the Baptist "Behold the Lamb of God", by Pilate "Behold the Man", "Behold your king!". And here Jesus is telling Mary to see and look at her son. If the words were to come out from anyone else, Mary would have looked up at Jesus on the cross. But because it came from Jesus, he was telling her to look at the disciple and to see her son Jesus, in the disciple. As the unnamed disciple represents us, Mary sees her son Jesus in each and everyone of us. We are called to be one with him, and he with us, showing his face to the world.

Bishop Sheen also mentions that just prior to this scene, was the dividing of Jesus' clothes by the soldiers. He uses the seamless tunic, most probably woven by Mary, as the link to Jesus' speaking to his mother. But as I reflected on it, somehow I got de-linked from the cross to focusing on the soldiers gambling. Much like the reflection on the two thieves, I found myself wondering what must have been going on in the minds of those soldiers.

"Just another days work"
"Lets get it over and done with"
"Sky getting dark, looks like is going to rain"
"Look at these Jews, fighting among themselves"
"Come lets have some fun and gamble for this tunic"

For them, there was no mystery, no sacrifice, nothing special about that day. In contrast to what the good thief experienced, to what the disciple and women at the foot of the cross were going through. Similarly, this week, from Holy Thursday, Good Friday and the Easter Vigil, which one are we going to be? The women, especially Mary, pondering on Christ's passion and death? Or the soldiers, where it is just another day, in fact better still, a public holiday? Whats going to be my focus, and how am I going to spend these 3 days?

The 4th Word for tomorrow's reflection is

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
Mk 15:34

1st Last Word of Jesus - Father forgive them...

"Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing"
Lk 23:34

The first Last Word that Jesus spoke was to ask for forgiveness on our behalf. Not only was he asking for our forgiveness, but he was giving us the reason/excuse that we should be forgiven - because we do not know what we are doing. Jesus could say that about the soldiers nailing him to the cross, because they did not know him as the Son of God. But how does this apply to us. Don't we know him as the Son of God, as our Saviour, the Way, the Truth and the Life. Thus when we sin, can we say we do not know what we are doing?

Yesterday we had the penitential service at CTK, and I found myself wondering whether the priest were hearing new terms for the sins being confessed. Such as:

Being economical with the truth
Deliberately misleading
Withholding information

These were the words being used to describe the actions of Lewis Hamilton and the McLaren Team in the Formula One race in Melbourne last weekend. When asked if they instructed Hamilton to slow down for the Toyota car to pass him, they said that they did not, despite having done so.

The many fanciful terms being thrown around to describe an act which is basically lying is in fact one of the ways that we try to bluff ourselves that our actions were really not that bad. In the past few weeks, the topic of confessions and sin has occurred a few times at the retreats and conversations with various people. Some have mentioned that they have no sin, no big sin or always the same sins.

I've been there and done that, and thus I can't fault them. We like to forget the bad that we have done, or more likely, we are not even aware of the many sins that we have and are committing. Like I shared earlier on the parable of the wicked servant I don't really know what my full debt/sin is.

Fulton Sheen calls it the ignorance of evil, and it is because of this ignorance that Jesus is asking the Father for our forgiveness. Often we are not aware of our sin, or we are deceived into thinking that we have not sinned, or we water it down by making it sound not as serious. There are other times that I'm not aware of the consequences of my sin, thus if I don't see the consequences, how can it be wrong? Jesus always criticised the Pharisees for exploiting the loopholes in the Law, and we too do that, by using our intellect and reason to worm our way out of our dirty deeds.

Talking about dirt, yesterday a priest shared a story of a wedding he attended, where the bride was eating Kueh Ko Swee, and as she bit into it, the brown sugar burst out onto her white gown. What a shock that might have been. Imagine if that had happen when you were wearing an old t-shirt that you use for painting the house. It wouldn't be much of a bother since the t-shirt would probably be dirty already. Fulton Sheen says that people living in dirt don't realise how dirty dirt is, similarly people living in sin don't recognise sin for what it is. It is only when we try to become clean, then the sin becomes more apparant. Like if I'm wearing a white shirt and eating laksa, I will definitely be more careful about not getting laksa sauce on my shirt. Just like after going for confession, there is the grace that makes me not want to sin and dirty myself. Thats why regular confession not only makes us reflect and aware of our sins, but helps us not to sin.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. - 1 John 1:8-10

The 2nd Word for tomorrow's reflection is

"Amen, I say to you,
today you will be with me in Paradise."
Lk 23:43

Seven Last Words of Jesus

Dying Jesus, let us ponder
Your last seven words, and wonder
At the love of God made Man.

This is the verse that we always sing at the Twelfth Station - Jesus Dies on the Cross. As a young boy, as far as I can remember, I wondered what these Last Seven Words of Jesus were that we were supposed to ponder. One day when I saw in the reflection passage for the twelfth station the line that says.

Jesus cried out in a loud voice, saying,
"Father, into your hands I commit my spirit."
Lk 23:46

So the Jesus' last seven words must have been "into your hands I commit my spirit" I was quite proud of myself for "figuring out" those last seven words. (of course that was in the days before the internet, and before I ever bothered to do any research on church stuff)

But I could never ponder and understand why those last seven words were so important. Until I saw the book "The Seven Last Words" by Fulton Sheen. Only then did I realise that the "Words" were actually "Sentences" said by Jesus. A person's lasts words are normally what he feels really important to tell others. Such as "I love you" or "please forgive me". You can imagine Jesus in his agony on the cross, must have really used up his strength to leave us with these seven "words" to ponder on. So my Lenten project starting from tomorrow, will be to reflect, ponder and hopefully blog on one "Word" per day up to Good Friday. I invite you to join me, and send me a link to your blog if you decide to blog about it too.

The 1st Word for tomorrow's reflection is

"Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing"
Lk 23:34

How much do I owe?

As I was reflecting on tuesday's Gospel passage on the parable of the unforgiving servant (Mt 18:21-35), the words "ten thousand talents" struck me. Looking at the footnote in the NRSV bible, it said that 1 talent was worth more than 15 years of wages. This sparked off the mathematician in me, to compare the amount the wicked servant owed the master with the amount his fellow servant owed him.

Checking the Bible Dictionary, I found that 1 talent = 6000 denarii.
This meant that the wicked servant owed the master
6,000 x 10,000 = 60,000,000 or 60 Million Denarii,
meaning he owed 600,000 times what was owed to him.

Now that the difference has been put into perspective, it basically means that it was a huge debt. This idea of debt brought to mind the conversation we had at the breakfast table, when we saw the front page of the Life section - Travel Now Pay Later. My first reaction was this was how people accumulate debts. We live in a culture of credit spending.


I was quite surprised when I typed in "travel now" into google, the autocomplete immediately brought up "travel now pay later" with 7 million websites. No wonder we are the financial state that we are in. Companies encouraging us to spend first and pay later with their 0% interest monthly instalments. Credit card companies tempting us with their freebies. And the one that bugs me the most, telemarketers calling me up to offer me ready cash up to 4 times my monthly salary. Mr Brown recently posted a video on his blog explaining how credit and greed brought about this whole recession.

Back to my reflection on the passage. The credit spending lifestlye we have accumulates big financial debts before we realise it. Similarly in my life I have also a credit sinning lifestyle. Since there is always confessions, I can sin now and confess later. Thus not realising the enourmous debt that I have accumulated. The NAB version says that the servant owed a "huge amount". I know that I owe God a huge amount, but I don't really know how huge that huge amount is. If I did, I think I would be like that servant begging for God's mercy.

This probably the wonder of Lent, through the readings, fasting and prayer, we realise our nothingness, our sinfulness, our indebtedness to God and realise that in our lifetime we will never be able to "pay back" his love for us and forgiveness. We can only pray that we may have the grace to be mindful of what we owe when we consider what others owe/hurt us and forgive.

Perfect Number Seven

Having to prepare a session which includes the Seven Deadly Sins has been quite a good reflection exercise for me this Lent. Going deeper into the meanings of Pride, Greed, Gluttony, Lust, Sloth, Envy and Anger has given me much fruit for thought with regard to my own relationship with God and with others.

I won't share my own discoveries and reflections here as that is not the intention of this post, but to encourage others to go and research on these Seven Deadly sins and reflect on them in your lives. Together with the corresponding Seven Virtues of Humility, Charity, Temperance, Chastity, Diligence, Kindness and Patience, it makes for a good spiritual exercise to go through this Lent. Maybe you can take one Sin & Virtue to reflect on each day of a week. Just Google "Seven Deadly Sins", and you will find a lot of information.

To add on to that spiritual exercise, there are Seven Penitential Psalms you might want to pray, one for each day. Although they are not directly related to any particular Deadly Sin, still they are good scriptural readings to reflect on our sinfulness and need for God. The Psalms are 6, 31(32), 37(38), 50(51), 101(102), 129(130) and 142(143) [Numbers in brackets depending on your bible]

Have a good week of reflection, not just on the Sins, but also on the Virtues, and pray for the grace to break out of the Sin and to cultivate the Virtues in your life. God Bless