Oh, boy! 'Fistgate' on Fox!

Sean Hannity just announced that Michelle Malkin's going to be on after the commercial to talk about every middle-schooler's favorite subject!

Don't try this at home, kids!

UPDATE: The Boss gives big props to Gateway Pundit! Attagirl, Michelle!

UPDATE II: Michelle and Hannity made a point about the kind of sexually explicit stuff that is being pushed on kids in the name of "tolerance" -- you can't quote most of it on TV, or in a mainstream newspaper. And the advocates of "tolerance" know this.

If the average taxpayer or the average parent were to see the worst of this stuff, there would be a riot.. And if they understood the psychological influence of "comprehensive sexuality education" -- or saw what goes on in the classrooms where kids are taught this stuff -- they'd be urging that the instigators of such programs be fired. Ten years ago, I interviewed Wendy Shalit:

Her conflict with a sexually explicit culture actually began years earlier when, as a fourth-grader, her complaints about a sex-education class led her parents to request that she be excused from the classes. She spent those hours in the library.
"I was glad to be in the library, because the other girls got teased, and I would just pretend like I didn't know what they were talking about," she recalls. "And in a lot of cases, I didn't, and I was glad not to, frankly."
Sex education in public schools should be "completely abolished," Miss Shalit says. “At best, it's redundant, because kids do not learn the facts from sex education. They know it already."
But Miss Shalit also says sex education hurts girls -- "and boys, too" -- by eroding natural modesty. "The problem is that we have it so early now, we really don't allow people to develop their personalities before their sexual identity," she says.

Wendy's book is A Return to Modesty.

Fun Facts: 'Tuscaloosa' is a Creek Indian word meaning . . .?

If you said "excellence," you got that one right:

TUSCALOOSA, Ala. - Alabama students and faculty won't have to worry about missing class to attend the national title football game in Pasadena.
The university canceled classes from Jan. 6-8. . . .
The top-ranked Crimson Tide plays No. 2 Texas on Jan. 7 at the Rose Bowl.

And as I noted over at AmSpecBlog:

Insignificant schools like Harvard and Yale simply lack the kind of commitment to excellence necessary to becoming a genuinely first-class institution of higher learning.

Oh, everybody talks about GPAs and SATs and Ph.D.s, but the University of Alabama is the only place on earth where you can get advanced certification in MTTC: Made Tim Tebow Cry.

No Harvard boy can ever claim that . . . .

As my intellectual hero Larry the Cable Guy says, that's funny, I don't care who you are. Please hit the tip jar and send me to Pasadena so I can provide exclusive coverage of Alabama's expedition to the frontiers of educational excellence -- the kind of excellence that also happens to involve good-looking cheerleaders.

ROLL, TIDE, ROLL!

Don't try this at home, kids!

Before you shove your entire fist into an uncomfortable place, remember that this man is a professional educator:

Barack Obama’s Safe Schools Czar Kevin Jennings founded the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) in 1990. In 2007 Kevin Jennings was paid $273,573.96 as the executive director of GLSEN. Recently he was appointed by the Obama administration to run the Office of Safe and Drug Free Schools in the US Department of Education. . . .
If Gay Straight Alliances are not about sex, why are the people who run Gay Straight Alliances telling students about fisting? . . .

Read the whole thing. Of course, GLSEN was teaching 14-year-olds about fisting in 2000, before the full-fledged development of Internet porn videos made such educational efforts redundant.

Nowaday -- Progress! -- any teenager's curiosity can be satisfied by a simple Google search, provided they can spell the words right, that is. How much random traffic does First Things get from misspelled Google searches?

Schools should spend more time teaching kids how to spell and less time teaching them how to fornicate. When I was a teenager, we managed to figure out fornication without any help from professional educators. Well, not much help.

There was an English teacher at Douglas County High -- greetings, Ms. Dowd, wherever you are -- who left the school under a cloud of suspicion. Although I never learned the name of her alleged victim, I envied him nonetheless. I'd been in smitten with Ms. Dowd since she'd been my teacher in sixth grade, when she was fresh out of college.

She had long, straight hair and wore wire-rimmed "granny glasses," as they were called circa 1970. Her husband had been our fifth-grade English teacher and read aloud to our class Orwell's Animal Farm, explaining it as a metaphor for the Bolshevik Revolution. His wife attended our class for a few weeks while doing her student teaching. At the time, I never imagined that, a few years later, she'd be teaching high school and accused of improper association with a student.

Back then, such accusations were handled administratively and rarely resulted in criminal charges, so I have no way of knowing whether Ms. Dowd was innocent or guilty. However, she was one of the first teachers who ever saw me as anything other than an incorrigible discipline problem, and for that I am still grateful.

Speaking of gratitude, thanks to all those who have already pitched in to send me to Pasadena to cover Alabama in the Jan. 7 BCS championship game. Keep hitting the tip jar, folks.

And kids: Keep your hands (and fists) to yourself!

Update on the California homecoming gang rape: 'It's not safe there at all'

ABC News reports four suspects arrested and this:

One student, 16-year-old Jennie Steinberg, told the Associated Press that her mother has let her transfer from the school Tuesday.
"It's not safe there at all," she said. "I'm not going back."

Of course it's not safe. It's a California public school. Details of the suspects and the crime:

Manuel Ortega, a 19-year-old former Richmond High School student, has been charged with robbery, assault with a deadly weapon causing great bodily injury, rape in concert [gang rape] and rape with violence, according to Richmond Police Lt. Mark Gagan.
The Contra Costa County District Attorney's Office is going to ask for a life sentence for Ortega, Gagan said. His bail has been set at $1,230,000
The other three suspects are juveniles, ages 15, 16 and 17, but are to be charged as adults, and the D.A.'s office will seek life sentences for the trio, Gagan said.
The three juveniles are being held without bail on charges of rape in concert and penetration with an foreign object in concert. In addition, the 16-year-old will be charged with robbery.
A fifth suspect, 21-year-old Salvador Rodriguez, arrested Tuesday night, has not yet been charged, although the district attorney's office continues to investigate his role. . . .
Police now believe that as many as 10 suspects took part in the gang rape, while 20 others stood by and watched the crime occur in a dimly lit corner of the sprawling campus, according to KGO. . . .
"These suspects are monsters. And, I don't understand how this many people capable of such atrocious behavior could be in one place at one time," Gagan told KGO.

To repeat: It's a California public school. If you live in California, don't send your kids into that mess.

Girl, 15, gang-raped for two hours at California high school homecoming dance

California screaming:

A California high school student who police said was gang raped in a two-and-a-half-hour assault outside a homecoming dance remained hospitalized in stable condition Monday . . .
Nineteen-year-old Manuel Ortega, described as a former student at the school, was arrested soon after he fled the scene and will face charges of rape, robbery and kidnapping, police said.
A 15-year-old was later arrested and charged with one count of felony sexual assault. A third teenager was being interviewed, according to Lt. Mark Gagan of the police department in Richmond, California.
"Based on witness statements and suspect statements, and also physical evidence, we know that she was raped by at least four suspects committing multiple sex acts," Gagan said.
Investigators said as many as 15 people, all males, stood around watching the assault, but did not call police or help the victim, a 15-year-old student at Richmond High School in suburban San Francisco. . . .

Another argument for home-schooling, just in case there is any semi-intelligent parent (i.e., with the minimal IQ necessary to read a blog) who is still sending their children into the organized barbarism of America's dysfunctional government education system.

Home-school arithmetic lesson

My wife is the cafeteria lady at the academy, which explains why she's been forced to entrust me as substitute teacher at The McCain School while she's at work. This isn't how we planned it, but necessity is a mother, IYKWIMAITYD.

So, immediately after I'd assigned Emerson to supervise Reagan's kindergarten spelling lesson -- "bring," "better," and "about" are her Words of the Day -- the phone rang and my wife started telling me that she'd paid the past-due car payment and was planning to go pay the electric, for which we had a shut-off notice. (Hit the tip jar, but fret not. We are past masters at the financial genius of strategic delinquency. and don't plan to be living under a freeway overpass any time soon.)

Just as my wife was burdening me with this discussion of the creditors who'd been neglected while I was in Kentucky, I looked out the window to see the mail truck pull up to the box.

"Hey, the mail's here," I said. "I'm walking out in my pajamas to get it."

This embarrasses Mrs. Other McCain, who's still on the phone when I get to the box to find good news.

"Hey, the Spectator check's here," I say.

"Good," she says. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, there's two other checks for you on top of the piano."

"Two other checks?"

"Yeah, your Google Ads check and your Amazon check came last week."

"Well, now you tell me."

Anyway, I go back in the house, open all three checks, separate them from the stubs, and hand them to Emerson.

"Get out your notebook and add 'em up," I say.

Emerson just brought me his notebook and showed me his work. Of course, his work was perfect. (The sum was more impressive to my 8-year-old than to me, since I earned an equivalent amount in salary during a single day less than two years ago.) The value of this lesson, however, was not about the simple arithmetic. Rather, it was intended to teach him how capitalism works:

• Dad writes 16 hours a day like a crazy fool.
• People send Dad checks.
• Everybody gets to ride to the bank with Dad and stop by Sheetz for slushies on the way home.

So, what did your kid learn in school today? Hit the tip jar. Lessons this valuable are worth it.

P.S.: Necessity is a mother. One of the things we've neglected lately is to purchase printer paper, so I've been recycling by printing on the back of any old stuff laying around my desk (of which there is an awful lot).

Anyway, I grabbed some scrap paper to print out the preview of this post -- let 10-year-old redheaded Jefferson read it aloud to his siblings on the way to the bank -- and happened to notice it was from a draft manuscript I'd read a few months ago: "Hunter Biden raked in the MBNA consulting payments . . ." Best. Book. Evah!

Remember to check Page 291. I Write For Money, and there are five A's in raaaaacist.

Veteran Home-Schooling Dad

Emerson, age 8: "Dad, can you help [6-year-old] Reagan?"

Me: "Son, you can help her. You know your ABCs and 123s. You teach her. I've got confidence in you."

So, my 8-year-old son is now a kindergarten teacher.

In case you're wondering, the reason Reagan is still in kindergarten is that she's a genius and so darn cute, she thinks she can slide by on her cleverness, good looks and irresistible charm. I don't know where she gets that . . .

Laurel County, Ky.: Just like old days, I'm told to report to the principal's office!

That's what the sign on the door of Johnson Elementary School said: "ALL VISITORS MUST REPORT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE."

Johnson Elementary is the school where Bill Sparkman worked part-time as an instructional assistant in an after-school program for about a decade.

Donna at the front desk of the Laurel County Public Library -- where I've been using their computers today -- gave me directions: Take a left on 192, go down to the light, turn left (west) on 80 and go back into town. Before you get to the railroad tracks, there will be an IGA store on your left. McWhorter Street is on the right, across from the IGA. Take McWhorter Street until it crosses the parkway, at which point it becomes McWhorter Road, and the school is a little more than a mile down, on the right.

The principal of the school is a tall, bespectacled man with jug ears named Tyler McWhorter, although he said he's not sure if the road was named for his family. McWhorter has only been at the school a couple of years and didn't know Sparkman. He gave me the cell-phone number of someone who could be more helpful.

Having figured out the computer set-up here at the library a bit better, I can now link Joseph Deal's article in Monday's London (Ky.) Sentinel-Echo, which I think may be the most important news story yet about the Sparkman case.

Joe Deal is a smart, tough, experienced journalist, a native of Wisconsin. Like most good newspapermen, Deal feels a real responsibility to his community and to the truth. It's important for people far away from eastern Kentucky to understand that misinformation from certain media outlets has resulted in the defamation of an entire community. But the entire 25,000 people of Clay County can't bring a class-action suit for libel, can they?

There seems to be a lot of craziness going around online lately. Brooke Shields is nude, Roman Polanski's been arrested, Gore Vidal is warning about "dictatorship," Bette Midler is talking "civil war," and there are even dangerous crackpots alleging that I'm somehow involved with Sarah Palin. (Let me make one thing perfectly clear to Dave Weigel: I did not have political relations with that governor, Mrs. Palin.)

When the going gets weird, the weird get going, and pretty soon I'm going to have to hit the road back up toward Washington. My wife's worried about me, down here with all these Kentucky women -- 19-year-old short-order cooks and 20-year-old journalists and so forth. Little Miss Attila suspects a "scam," a term that my Samoan attorney says might be considered defamatory per se.

As always, the vital question to ask is, "What Would Hunter S. Thompson Do?" And the blindingly obvious answer in this case is: Get the heck out of this library and go east on the parkway, very fast, before anyone even suspects I've gone.

Maybe I'll stop and talk to more sources -- Judge Garrison was at the Huddle House on Tuesday night, and gave me his cell-phone number -- and could possibly even make another post or two before I leave Kentucky. But I've done what I came here to do. I've got enough notes and pictures to lash together 10,000 words if I had to, and plenty of sources I can contact if this story heats up again, as it may at any moment. Let's see, if I head southeast toward Bristol, then hit I-81 . . .

Ask Dr. Stacy

As the author of Know Your Vajayjay: An Expert Guide to What's Up Down There and founder of the McCain Institute for Advanced Vaginology, Dr. R.S. McCain, M.D., OB-GYN, IYKWIMAITYD, is often asked by esteemed colleagues to share his expertise in all matters vaginological for the benefit of those coping with nookie-related issues.

While most of these consultations are handled privately, it is occasionally helpful to share with the general public certain case studies submitted as comments, to wit:

Dr. Stacy:
A friend of mine has a question...
My wife and I were not having sex before I began to blog; since I've been blogging, we're not having sex more. Is this a bad thing? Should I be concerned? Should I worry that she's started saying our 85 year old neighbor is 'kinda cute'?
-- Dr. Bob Belvedere, M.D., TCOTS

While this may appear to the untrained eye to be just another case of Lackanookie Syndrome -- the raging pandemic continues unabated, as researches frantically seek some means of controlling an illness that self-evidently cannot be cured -- Dr. Belvedere's friend is most likely suffering from a disease which has similar symptoms, but a different cause.

Analeptic Nookie Neglect is largely psychosomatic, one of the various maladies categorized as Blogger Mood Disorder by our eminent colleague Professor William Jacobson, the Blogospheric Neologian.

The addictive qualities of blogging provide such powerful neurostimulatory effects that, by compulsively seeking the orgasmic thrill of an Instalanche, the patient's limbic system response becomes so oriented toward online stimuli that not even the most overt signal of the availability of the world's finest nookie -- e.g., the blogger's wife bringing him, at 9 p.m. on a rainy Friday evening, a chocolate milk shake from Dairy Queen -- can lure him away from his keyboard duties.

Most symptoms of Analeptic Nookie Neglect occur as frequent repetition of certain telltale phrases:

• "Not now, Meine Frau, I've got to finish the FMJRA and the clone-bots aren't cooperating."
• "I'll be up in a minute, I swear. Just let me finish making fun of Charles Johnson."
• "Would you stop bugging me, for crying out loud? I'm trying to put a trackback on this Hot Air post, and Simpletracks keeps giving me that ****ing Unknown Error Occurred message."
• "Wow, yeah. That white silk bustier and thong ensemble is nice, dear. Check out this new Charles Johnson 'Downfall' video . . ."

In the case of Dr. Belvedere's friend, as with 95% of patients treated for Analeptic Nookie Neglect at the McCain Institute, there is little danger that his wife will actually begin an affair with the neighbor. In fact, ANN usually has a positive correlation with marital fidelity, as bloggers and their wives are the only category of human pair-bonds whose mastubatory fantasies are exclusively focused on their spouses.

Just ask Dr. Helen.

So the real question for Dr. Belevedere's friend is whether he actually wants treatment for his problem. Unless his wife begins showing symptoms of Delaneymania -- wearing low-cut dresses to blogger parties in hopes of stimulating linkage to her husband's site by his concupiscent peers -- there is no particular reason to seek treatment. No matter what my daughter's boyfriend tries to tell her, the fact remains that no man has ever died from a lack of nookie, although specialists believe that onanistic side effects are a major cause of acute neurasthenia, myopia and male pattern baldness (a clustering of symptoms caused by the brooksianius gergenia virus, leading to the disease that world-renowned vaginologist Dr. Moe Lane has identified as Gerson-Wehner Complex).

So, Dr. Belvedere, the prescribed treatment is simple: Your friend can cure his ANN any time he wants, merely by deciding to step away from the computer, shave, shower, brush his teeth and put on some of that Geoffrey Beene Gray Flannel eau de cologne his wife buys him every year for Christmas. Remember our motto at the Institute:

Good Nookie Is a Terrible Thing to Waste!

Your esteemed colleague,
Dr. Robert Stacy McCain, M.D.
Director of Research and author of Know Your Vajayjay: An Expert Guide to What's Up Down There

TOTALLY UNNECESSARY DISCLAIMER: This case study has been offered as a public service by the McCain Institute for Advanced Vaginology, but cannot be considered as professional therapeutic advice. Standards of the International Vaginological Society prohibit such practices, except in such cases where a licensed clinician can provide direct examination of the patient's nookie. Your generous contributions to support the Institute's advanced research in vaginology are neither tax-deductible nor charitable, and may be used as the Institute and its creditors see fit.

Communist Angela Davis will speak in Baltimore tonight for Constitution Day event

Jeff Quinton has the amazing news that a college in Baltimore thought this Marxist revolutionary would be an appropriate speaker.

Remember that Angela Davis supplied the shotgun used to murder Judge Harold Haley in a 1970 jailbreak attempt led by her boyfriend, murderer George Jackson.

Worth 1,000 words

Founding Bloggers has a lot of commentary on the Obama Mass Indoctrination, but this Photoshop sums it up best:

Teacher Says 'No' to Obama Speech

Our blog buddy Pat Austin teaches in Shreveport, La.:

In my own school district, they've decided to let individual teachers make the call whether or not to show the speech. I won't be showing it in my classroom because I have a scheduled quiz and a curriculum to meet. In an age where every single school minute of the day is counted and documented, I don't have 20 minutes to spare for Obama. . . . .

Read the whole thing.

Pass the Vodka and Marlboro Reds!Keep Your Kids Home on Sept. 8

After I woke up about 2 a.m. this morning, I saw that Smitty had linked a Hot Air post in which Allahpundit declared, "I'm with CJ" and ridiculed VodkaPundit's advice to parents to keep their kids home from school next Tuesday rather than subject them to the Obama Mass Indoctrination.

Hey, Allah hates me and, considering I've been keeping my kids out of public schools for nearly 15 years . . . well, what's the Green Room for, anyway?

I still love to hang out with hoodlums, like VodkaPundit: "The President of the United States --whether an Obama a Bush or a Lincoln -- is not my son's daddy." You tell 'em, Steve! I'm with VodkaPundit!

Read the whole thing. Composing a 3,800-word essay in less than seven hours? Not bad for a hoodlum. Ah, if only Tonya could see me now . . .

UPDATE: School's out for kids in Mrs. Malkin's class:

Thanks to the National Tea Party Coalition, which is one of the sponsors of the Sept. 12 Taxpayer March on D.C. Hey, how's that for a field trip, kids? Just get one of your hoodlum buddies to hot-wire a car . . .

UPDATE II: What Would Ferris Bueller Do?

'Ask not what your president can do for you. Ask what you can do . . .'

". . . for your president," says Ace of Spades, translating the teacher's guide to President Obama's Sept. 8 speech to students. Ace is demanding to see an advance text of the speech:

I'm not saying I don't trust you. I'm just saying -- no, I am saying I don't trust you, now that I think about it.

More at Memeorandum, Exurban League, 24Ahead, The Daily Paul, Michelle Malkin, Moe Lane, Hot Air, Dr. Melissa Clouthier, And So It Goes In Shreveport, Pundit & Pundette and Caught Him With a Corndog.

UPDATE: Michelle Malkin follows up with a column:

Obama's White House Teaching Fellows include Chicago high school educator Xian Barrett, a fierce opponent of charter schools who founded a "Social Justice Club" and bussed students to protests and Michelle Bissonette, a Los Altos, Calif., teacher who is "focused on developing my leadership as a more culturally and racially conscious educator."
The activist tradition of government schools using students as junior lobbyists cannot be ignored. . . .

Read the whole thing and, please, parents, ask yourself: "Why am I entrusting my child's education to unionized government bureaucrats?"

UPDATE II: An excellent suggestion from that role model for America's youth, VodkaPundit:

In impossible times, the only way to be a responsible parent is to do the irresponsible thing. If my son were in a public school…
I’d call him in sick next Tuesday. I’d keep him home. I suggest you do so. I urge you to do so. If pressed, be honest about your reasons -- but be reasonable about presenting them. Otherwise, don’t offer an explanation. Make it a silent protest.

VodkaPundit's a dad now, and I'm sure this will be a teachable moment at his house: "OK, son, today we're going to learn how to make Daddy a martini . . ."

'What Is the President Trying to Tell Me?'

Why is he gesturing with his middle finger extended?

How have things reached such a state of political crisis that Michelle Malkin is linking Ron Paul?

Why have my Mommy and Daddy started talking about home-schooling me this year?

UPDATE: Now a Memorandum thread, with a slew of conservative bloggers commenting about the president's Sept. 8 speech to school children: Hot Air, Dr. Melissa Clouthier, And So It Goes In Shreveport, Pundit & Pundette and Caught Him With a Corndog.

Reader's Digest: Death by Consultants

Reader's Digest plans to
file for US bankruptcy

When I was a kid, the reading fodder at our home consisted chiefly of three things:

• The Atlanta Journal (the afternoon paper, which had then not yet fully merged with the morning Constitution);
• The World Book Encyclopedia, which our parents bought as a Christmas gift for us kids when I was 7, and which I had read in nearly its entirety by the time I was 12; and
• The Reader's Digest.

Most people probably don't remember what a glorious, important, exciting magazine Reader's Digest used to be. When I was 8, 9, 10 years old, Reader's Digest would have articles about the Vietnam War, great "true crime" stories, historical features, profiles of major newsmakers and entertainers, jokes, cartoons, recipes -- just everything you could imagine.

The basic idea was that each month's issue would include 30 articles -- an article a day, a diet of literacy for the ordinary person who couldn't subscribe to dozens of magazines, but who, via Reader's Digest, could keep himself informed, enlightened and, yes, entertained.

There was a true variety of content and, in my role a top Hayekian public intellectual, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that Reader's Digest famously helped make The Road to Serfdom a nationwide bestseller by publishing a condensed version that went through several printings in its own right.

Just the most wonderful thing you could imagine for a kid to have in the house back in the day. There was no cable TV or Internet, and many an idle hour was spent poring over those thick little magazines. Mom kept them collected in stacks on the bottom shelves of coffee tables and end tables. Sometimes, scouring around for something to read, I'd go into the stack and read articles from five, six, seven years previous -- just fascinating stuff, really.

What a sad dessicated thing the Reader's Digest had become in recent years, a steep decline for which I blame consultants. The publishing industry -- newspapers, magazines, books -- is plagued with these overpaid "experts" who collect fat fees to give bad advice.

Whatever his advice, the one thing the publishing consultant will never tell an editor this:

"Hey, you've got a pretty good [magazine/newspaper/book company], so basically, you should just 'dance with the one that brung ya.' Circulation and sales might be a little bit slow lately, but your basic content is pretty good. Maybe you could add more photos or try some snappier cover layouts, or develop a new marketing campaign. But in terms of the basic product you're delivering to your readers, that's great. Focus on maintaining quality and high standards, and you'll be fine."

If you're ever working for a publisher and you get a memo from the executive suite telling you that they've hired a consulting company to "refocus our brand," etc., you should put in your two-week notice immediately. If the folks in the executive suite don't know how to run their own company . . .

UPDATE: Wow, strong reaction in the comments -- welcome Instapundit readers. One commenter questioned the extent of the role of consultants in the decline of Reader's Digest. We don't know the full answer, but one of our commenters who used to work in their D.C. bureau had some interesting observations about their switch to a celeb-focused lightweight approach in recent years.

One of the things I've noticed over the years is that journalists can be divided into two classes: (a) those who spend their time reading publishing-industry trade journals, trying to spot new trends, and (b) good journalists.

In every newsroom there are worthless drones who waste hours of company time sitting in their cubicles reading useless crap like Editor & Publisher or the monthly ASNE newsletter. Keeping up on "industry trends," you see -- a convenient substitute for doing actual work. Is it any wonder that the main "industry trend" is the worst gotterdammerung in publishing since Guttenberg invented moveable type?

UPDATE II: Thanks to the anonymous commenter who found at least one consultant's fingerprints on this story -- which is certainly not to say that this particular consulting firm did anything wrong or that their services are not valuable.

Rather, it merely demonstrates how the hiring of consulting firms so often serves as an indicator-light on the company dashboard, a potential signal of managerial incompetence. If your IT despartment can't do its own system upgrade and your graphics department can't handle a page redesign -- so that your bosses are always hiring outsiders to do such things -- it's not exactly a hallmark of a well-run publishing concern.

But hey, don't believe me. It's not like I have experience with the publishing industry or clueless management . . .

The Future of the Conservative Movement

Just brought me lunch:

This is Trey Easton, Sarah T. Herman Intern Scholar for the Young America's Foundation, and a junior majoring in economics at George Mason University.

You may ask yourself, "Why is such a promising young fellow bringing Stacy McCain a cheeseburger, fries and a large sweet iced tea from Wendy's?"

As famed George Mason economist Walter Williams would explain, the secret of capitalism is how "the Invisible Hand" redirects resources to their most valuable use. In this example, the resource involved was time.

There was a line at Wendy's downstairs here at GWU's Marvin Center, site of the YAF National Conservative Student Conference. Would my time be best spent standing in that line, rather than getting my laptop set up and logged in?

So I decided to come up here and was getting set up when -- as if by magic -- the "Invisible Hand" brought me into contact with young Mr. Easton.

"An intern?" I said. "Listen, I've got a job for you . . ."

Never let it be said that I haven't done my share to train the future leaders of the conservative movement in the glories of capitalism!

UPDATE 3:42 p.m.: "Mom?" young Mr. Easton said into his cell phone just now, after I showed him this post. "Mom, go to Google. . . . OK, now type in 'The Other McCain' . . . That's right. The first link at the top of the page. . . . OK, Mom, I gotta run now. Kind of busy. Love you. Bye."

He forgot to add, "Hit the tip jar, Mom." Never let it be said that I haven't done my share to train the future leaders of the conservative movement in the glories of capitalism!

EXIT, LYING: SCHOOL'S OUT FORANTI-PALIN BLOGGER GRIFFIN

ANCHORAGE KINDERGARTEN AIDE
RESIGNS FOLLOWING DISCLOSURE

Jesse Griffin, the Alaska blogger who Saturday claimed in an "exclusive" report that Todd and Sarah Palin were divorcing, will no longer work as an Anchorage kindergarten teaching assistant, school officials confirmed Wednesday.

Griffin's resignation followed revelations that the 49-year-old Griffin had posted (under the alias "Gryphen") sexually explicit advocacy of pornography and masturbation on his "Immoral Minority" blog. (See "Give Jesse Enough Rope" WARNING: GRAPHIC LANGUAGE.)

Because Griffin's MySpace profile page featured a link to "Immoral Minority," that material -- as well as other vulgar content, including descriptions of former Gov. Palin as "a nasty b*tch" who wore "f*** me pumps" -- could have been accessed by anyone searching online for "Jesse Griffin" in Anchorage. (See "Jesse Griffin: Disturbing Revelations," by Dan Riehl.)

Investigative blogger Dan Riehl on Wednesday spoke by phone with Anchorage school district officials who seemed to have been previously unaware of the graphic content on Griffin's "Immoral Minority" site. (See "Jesse Griffin: Latest Developments," by Dan Riehl. )

Riehl was interviewed Wednesday evening about the Griffin case on Eddie Burke's popular Anchorage KBYR radio program. Burke said on the program that school officials told him that Griffin had submitted his resignation and that the district had "no record of any inappropriate actions" by Griffin while he was employed at Trailside Elementary School in Anchorage.

"Sarah is finished with Todd and has decided to end their marriage," Griffin wrote at "Immoral Minority" Saturday morning, saying that "one of [his] best sources" had told him the Palins were divorcing. Griffin's story was immediately promoted by Dennis Zaki's "Alaska Report" site, which claimed that "multiple sources" had confirmed the report.

Jeanne Devon, an Anchorage Democratic activist who had previously blogged anonymously, also promoted Griffin's "exclusive" at the Huffington Post. As a result of this promotion, by Saturday afternoon Zaki's headline, "Todd and Sarah Palin to divorce," was the lead item at the popular Memeorandum political news site, even though it had already been officially denied by Palin spokeswoman Meg Stapleton.

Griffin wrote on his blog Wednesday, "I stand by every single word" of the original report, which accused Sarah Palin of attempting "to hide a broken relationship" with husband Todd.

Griffin blamed "the Palin team and their minions" for discovery of his "Gryphen" online alias, which he says resulted in death threats and harassment. During his KBYR interview, Riehl disparaged Griffin's credibility.

"Right now, the best I can tell, [Griffin] has 'bogus' written so much all over him it should be his middle name," Riehl said, adding that he had discovered "one lie after another" from Griffin.

Griffin wrote Wednesday at "Immoral Minority" that he had a "long career working with children in gymnasiums, camps, and various schools."

After revelations that Griffin had used his "Immoral Minority" site to advocate "self pleasure" and express his preference for amateur pornography, Griffin told his blog readers Wednesday: "I think what is truly frightening is how ready some people are to believe that just because you are a male who works with kids you must be a pervert. . . . The truth is that I have never even been accused of anything inappropriate with a child in my classroom, camp, or home. It has simply never happened."

Further updates are expected at RIEHL WORLD VIEW.

THE GRYPHEN FILES: When You Catch A Liar Lying

Sunday, an anonymous source e-mailed the identity of "Gryphen" to Dan Riehl and I. In ensuing days, the same source has also sent along quotes (with screen-capture JPEGs) from Jesse Griffin's Immoral Minority blog.

Griffin is not only a liar, but an extremely stupid liar, who arrogantly believed that no one else could ever possibly be smart enough to discover his "Gryphen" deception. For three days now, Griffin piled up lie upon lie in an effort to explain that deception. And all the time, there were those quotes the source had sent:

GIVE JESSE ENOUGH ROPE
STRONG LANGUAGE WARNING: Please note that the juxtaposition of quotes at that post is intended to highlight the vast difference between (a) what he wrote when he thought his anonymity was secure, and (b) what he wrote once his deception was exposed, and it was learned he was "an assistant teacher in a room full of five year old children."

An interesting development discovered while compiling that post: At some point since Monday, Jesse Griffin changed the banner motto at Immoral Minority from this:

"What is morality? Who decides? Are we in charge of our own destiny? What is right? And what is wrong? Are these questions which can be answered? You betcha."

To this:

"Morality is not determined by the church you attend nor the faith you embrace. It is determined by the quality of your character and the positive impact you have on those you meet along your journey."

Question: Why the change? Why now?
Answer: The first quote was a blunt statement of moral relativism, in which each individual decides, without reference to any enduring and acknowledged standard, what is right or wrong.

Or, as the serpent said: "Ye shall be as gods!"

Remember that mysterious delay Monday? Last night someone found the answer to a question I'd been asking since Sunday night. Which is why I took some poetic advice Angela McGlowan's father taught her: I burned the midnight oil.

Previously, "Gryphen" had declared himself an atheist. He is, in fact, his own god. Let him save himself from the consequences of his own freely chosen actions. The banner motto at this blog, meanwhile, remains unchanged:

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up."
-- Arthur Koestler

Hmmm. Didn't some commenter tell me to "STFU"?

As bloggers say, READ THE WHOLE THING and look for further updates at RIEHL WORLD VIEW.

Once more all readers are warned not to threaten anyone. LEAVE JESSE GRIFFIN ALONE!

Obama's $4 billion 'school reform' agenda

Everyone remembers Obama's plan for education reform, right? Uh, actually, no. Never mind that. Does anyone remember when $4 billion was a lot of money?

The rush is on for $4.35 billion in “Race to the Top” grants, targeted to leverage historic reforms in US public schools.
"This is one of the largest investments in education reform in American history," said President Obama at the US Department of Education on Friday. "And rather than divvying it up and handing it out, we are letting states and school districts compete for it."
The high-stakes grants are targeted to reward states and school districts that are "ready to do things that work," the president said. "That's how we can incentivize excellence and spur reform and launch a race to the top in America's public schools." . . .

(Note strategic deployment of the magic words: "incentivize," "excellence" and "reform.")

For the past two months, Education Secretary Arne Duncan has been telling education groups that if they want to have an edge going into the competition for these grants, they must demonstrate four key reforms. These include:
• Reversing a pervasive dumbing down of academic standards and testing.
• Establishing better data on student achievement, including linking teacher evaluations and pay to student outcomes.
• Improving or replacing teachers who aren't up to the job, especially in high-poverty schools and hard-to-staff subjects.
• Turning around failing schools, including replacing school staff and changing school culture.
"For the first time in history, we have the resources at the federal level to drive reform," Secretary Duncan said as he released draft guidelines for the competition on Friday.
"We cannot continue to tinker in terrible schools where students fall further and further behind, year after year," he added. . . .

To summarize in three words: Yadda. Yadda. Yadda.

Another throw-money-at-it giveaway to the teachers' unions, with "goals" and "standards" that are vague and arbitrary, the primary purpose being to give the president sufficent rhetorical coverage for that (mandatory) paragraph about "education reform" in his next State Of The Union speech.

In other words, it's No Child Left Behind, Part Deux.

The problem with the public education system is the system itself. Parents who send their kids to public schools are constituents of the world's largest welfare program. Whatever the total federal expenditure is on K-12 education, every dime of it is "waste, fraud, and abuse," a stupid idea with stupid consequences.

You cannot defend public education and call yourself a conservative. The entire history of public education shows that it has been, from Day One, a liberal project aimed at achieving liberal policy objectives that have nothing to do with actual education.

More than anything else, public education is a propaganda vehicle for teaching American children falsehoods, including the belief that government can give you stuff for "free." Let the government give people something for "free," and you automatically guarantee two things:

• It will be ridiculously expensive.
• Whatever it is, will suck.

As Newt Gingrich once famously observed, high school nowadays is nothing but "subsidized dating." It's a colossal waste of time and money. Kids learn more playing hooky than they do when they go to class. "Public school reform" ought to be done the same as "public housing reform":