Britney and K-Fed, then Jon and Kate, now . . . Ace and Allah splitsville?

Little Miss Attila brings us rumors of the latest celebrity breakup. Before Christmas, Ace of Spades trashed Mitch McConnell as a sellout bastard. Allahpundit responded with a contemptuous sneer.

Next: Ace loads up to .13 on Valu-Rite vodka, gets slapped around like Mrs. Charlie Sheen. Then Allahpundit hires publicist Stan Rosenfield to say, in effect, "that bitch Ace deserved it."

Below his pay grade, I suppose

Once you've been mayor of New York and run for president, the Senate is definitely a step down.

This is a perfect opportunity to poke more fun at all those sophisticated people who, in 2006-07, argued in all apparent seriousness that Rudy Giuliani could win the GOP presidential nomination. Dude spent $59 million and got . . . what?

Genius strategy: Bet the whole wad on Florida and finish third. Ron Paul got more delegates, which wasn't really that hard, seeing as how Rudy's delegate count was zero.

Exit question: What loser will Allahpundit support in 2012?

It gets better, Allahpundit

by Smitty

Absolutely crucial post at Hot Air. Senator Bernie Sanders (Imbecile-VT) throws a sweet hissy fit when Senator Tom Coburn (may Heaven bless him) insists his 767 page end-run be read aloud. The Senate Parliamentarian magically allows a halt at the three hour mark with sub-unanimous consent.

Why?

Allahpundit:

Maybe we've actually reached the point where not only aren't they reading the bill before voting on it, they're not even writing it before voting on it.

That's not the half of it. You see, I have it from sources equally as reliable as Al Gore that some wise-ass had inserted the missing CRU data into the text of the bill. Had the reading gone on for another hour or two, an estimated 17 Democratic Senators may have been felled by boredom, embarrassment at the repercussions, or both.

Stopping that reading may have saved lives.

The only way to disprove my nonexistentunnamed source would be to publish the godforsaken legislation. But we all know that representative government is sooo last century.

Update: Fish Fear Me notes some differences between the CSPAN video and The Hill's transcript of Sanders.

BlogoMathematics: Word Problem

On Nov. 14, The Other McCain notched its 3 millionth visitor. On Dec. 11, The Other McCain crossed the 3.2 million threshold. -- that is to say, 1/5th of the way to 4 million in 27 days. Therefore:

• At the current rate of traffic (roughly 7,000 per day or 200K per month), on what day will The Other McCain reach 4 million?
• How much faster would that goal be reached if Allahpundit would occasionally link me in the Hot Air Headlines?
• What would happen if Alyssa Milano re-Tweeted one of my posts?
• While we're at it, how much faster would the traffic grow if I could convince a rich guy to give me $3 million?

Show your work. This might be on the final exam. And if you're a rich guy, please hit the tip jar. Three million bucks would be OK, but so would $10 or $20.

LEAVE ALLAHPUNDIT ALONE!

OK, somebody had to be his Chris Crocker, so why not me, The Blogger Whom Allah Hateth?

Smitty jabbed Allah on Tuesday, joining the general dogpile over Allah's ill-advised comment about the SEALs court-martial. And no wise man would argue with Uncle Jimbo:

I realize you get paid to say controversial shite all day long. Every once in a while you ought to take a gander at who gives you the freedom to flap your freakin' gums and think twice before you decide that zero-tolerance demands that your betters suffer for some bullshit like this.

Anybody can be a blogospheric tough guy. Real-world tough guys play by different rules and, being personally acquainted with a few of those guys, I try to make a point of staying on their good side.

Nevertheless, let's not let the Allah beatdown go too far. There is hope for his redemption. One thing that must be understood is that Hot Air is a commercial enterprise. It generates revenue to pay the bills for Ed Morrissey and Allahpundit and, we hope, leaves a little profit for The Boss.

Several observers have suggested that Allah's bad tendencies -- his crush on Meghan McCain, his jabs at Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck -- actually make Hot Air a more interesting place. He knows where the buttons are, and knows how to push 'em. As a blogger, when I see one of Allah's hot threads go to 400+ comments, and at least 100 of those comments are some variation on "Allah sucks," it inspires a certain sort of admiration for someone who's willing to be the scapegoat.

Allahpundit is a guy of genuine ability and professional accomplishment outside the blogosphere, and the fact that he has only linked me once in the past eight months does not detract from that. (It's possible I'm exaggerating the persistent non-linkage, but not by much.) His sarcastic wit is a skill unto itself, and I've lost track of how much of my own blog-schtick was actually swiped from Allah.

So I'm pro-Allahpundit, even if Allahpundit is anti-me. "Turn the other cheek," "love your enemies," and all that hillbilly Bible-thumper creationist stuff.

Hating your enemy is arguably a waste of time. Even if you disagree with that, however, there is a point at which hatred of our enemies goes too far, when it becomes irrational, sadistic and unseemly. But enough about Andrew Sullivan and Sarah Palin's uterus . . .

During 2006, when Cynthia McKinney stumbled (further) into foolishness and all the conservative bloggers were hatin' on her, I felt a strange empathy for Georgia's most famous moonbat, even though I'd been hatin' on Cynthia since 1991. So I had a Ned Flanders moment, explaining how being the object of hate -- hey, I've been there -- had driven me to contemplate Psalm 69:

They that hate me without a cause are more than the hairs of mine head: they that would destroy me, being mine enemies wrongfully, are mighty . . . O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee. . . . But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O Lord . . . O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation. Deliver me . . . let me be delivered from them that hate me.

Amen. God has been merciful toward me, and it behooves me to urge mercy toward others. We fundamentalists would describe Allah as "lost," but let us not presume him lost beyond redemption. For who can be beyond the power of God?

Aleister rubs it in

"Allahpundit likes me," he says.

Don't worry. My feelings aren't hurt. Because I'm chopped liver, and chopped liver doesn't have feelings.

STOP BUMMING ME OUT, MAN!

Excuse the all-caps shouting, but I just about blew a gasket tonight. I'm now past the 14-hour mark, I got scooped on the NY23 beat twice today -- on the Club for Growth poll and the Pawlenty endorsement -- and spent a lot of time on the phone this evening with my Hoffman sources.

Let me briefly explain the situation up in the 23rd District: Hoffman's got a relatively small paid staff and he's campaigning as a third-party candidate against both the Republicans and Democrats, in the largest geographical congressional district east of the Mississippi River. It ain't a walk in the park up there, OK?

While I generally have a low opinion of Republican campaign staffers -- who tend to treat reporters like crap -- these guys on Hoffman's team have my sympathy. They're spread thin, and working like hell all the time. They must be ordering Red Bull by the case.

Today was absolutely crazy for them, with news breaking faster than anybody could possibly keep up, new ads being produced, a new Democratic TV attack ad airing in the district, etc., etc.

Crazy for them, and crazy for me, too. So then, just after I posted the Fred Thompson ad video, I flip over to Instapundit and see him saying this:

Hoffman's kind of a special case. There's basically no downside. That's not true in 2010. I remember a blog commenter somewhere a while back worrying that Beck would turn out to be a Pied Piper leading people to Third Party self-destruction. In Hoffman’s case that's not really an issue, but a Perot-type candidacy might put the Dems back in bigtime.

And he's writing this irrelevant crap about third parties and 2010 while linking Allahpundit:

What is the endgame? There's a sense I get from watching Beck that he thinks there's a supermajority out there willing to return to Founders-style libertarianism if only he and other conservatives hammer the message hard and long enough. I don't think there is.

Well, f*ck what you think, Allah. We're talking about one congressional election that's now only a week away, and all your forward-looking "Big Picture" theorizing is just a distraction from the fight.

Today, I had the same reaction when I found a couple of commenters squabbling about Hoffman's position on immigration. Here's the thing: What's the deluxe enchilada plate we're looking at now? ObamaCare.

If that passes, we're doomed. Period. Good-bye, US of A. Hello, Sweden.

Doug Hoffman is a sworn opponent of ObamaCare. If a guy like that wins, in an underdog third-party bid where nobody gave him a snowball's chance two weeks ago, what's the message?

The message is that Democrats had better watch out in 2010. If a guy like Hoffman can win in a district that went 52% for Obama less than a year ago, it will be like a flare shot skyward from a ship on a moonless midnight. Add in a victory for Bob McDonnell in Virginia (which also went for Obama last year) and any Democratic senator or congressman with half a brain is going to start thinking, "Ruh-roh. This kinda looks like 1994 all over again."

If Hoffman can pull off a miracle upset victory in NY23, it would be a shot across the bow of Obama, Pelosi and Reid that they won't be able to ignore.

The Blue Dogs will freak out, and the RINOs will start wondering about the possibility of a Tea Party/Club for Growth/Sarah Palin convergence in their GOP primaries. They'll find an excuse to pull the plug on ObamaCare and start looking for opportunities to denounce deficit spending. Heck, you might even see some of them work up the gumption to suggest a vote to extend the Bush tax cuts.

All of this is possible, if Hoffman wins. But a Hoffman win isn't a random hypothetical we can postulate and discuss like we were in some damned poli-sci grad-school seminar. The battle for NY23 is the kind of desperate tooth-and-nail fight that doesn't lend itself to dispassionate theoretical discourse.

At such a time as this, to waste pixels pondering ridiculous fourth-bong-hit-in-the-dorm-room questions -- "Hey, wow, wouldn't a third party be cool?" -- is such a complete waste of time, it's almost a complete waste of time explaining what a waste of time it is.

You're bumming me out, man. Honest to God, you guys are bumming me out.

NY23: Another Hoffman Miracle!

First, he got $40 out of the World's Cheapest Conservative, and now Conservative Party candidate achieves the impossible again. Hot Air world exclusive:

Not surprisingly, the CFG ad invokes the specter of Madam Speaker as a chief reason not to vote for Scozzafava. King’s not blowing smoke, though: As noted in Saturday’s post, Scozzafava led until Hoffman started surging, and now the Democrat’s up by a few points as GOP voters split between the two of them. Exit question via Stacy McCain: Why hasn’t Sarahcuda endorsed Hoffman yet? Doing so would irritate and potentially alienate the national leadership, but if she’s serious about fashioning herself as the “true conservative” outsider, here’s a golden opportunity. Maybe she figures it’s too much of a gamble for too little gain? If she shows up to stump for Hoffman and he loses, it’s a blow to her prestige. She’s probably just playing it safe.

That's right: ALLAHPUNDIT LINKED ME! Brothers and sisters, this is a sign!

Long months of uninterrupted non-linkage (Allah Hates Me, Because I Suck) have been ended in one fell swoop by the miraculous power of Hoffmania.

Clearly, this man is destined for victory, and I'm going to New York to cover this historic election! Hit my tip jar, people, and start spreading the news . . .

Yeah, I know, it's upstate New York, but it's the thought that counts. Hit the freaking tip jar!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE NY23 COVERAGE!

Balloon Boy? Total PWN!

Just watching the Sheriff's press conference. Oh, there will be thoughtful essays written about the 24/7 cable TV environment, the voracious demand for cheap programming that led to the "reality TV" genre, the resulting fame-quest of obscure idiots, "American Idol," et cetera, et cetera.

But nobody will pay me to write one of those essays, so I'll leave it to the "Style" section of the Washington Post or whoever else gets paid for such stuff.

Moral of the story? People watch too much TV. They begin to believe that being on TV (i.e., what is meant today when we say someone is "famous") is synonymous with wealth, popularity, happiness, et cetera. So they devote their lives to a sort of pilgimage, worshipfully seeking their own place on the idolatrous TV shrine.

These people are fools. TV makes them stupid. Turn the stupid thing off occasionally and read a book, fools.

If anyone actually wants or needs more than that, hit the tip jar for $50 and I'll post an insightful, thought-provoking 1,000-word column by tomorrow morning.

Allah won't link it, but Allah never links me. Allah Hates Me. Because I Suck.

NY23 UPDATE: Beware the MSM spin!

How much more in the Democratic tank could the Associated Press possibly be?

President Barack Obama and former President Bill Clinton are lending their political star power to an unlikely Democratic bid to win a special congressional election in an area that's been a Republican bastion for more than a century.
The Nov. 3 contest in upstate New York's 23rd Congressional District, a sprawling, 11-county area where registered Republicans outnumber Democrats by 45,000, is shaping up as a test of a struggling GOP and a possible gauge of Obama's coattails.
Obama, who carried the district by 5 percentage points in his landslide victory in New York last year, forced the special election when he named the incumbent, Republican John McHugh, his Army secretary. The president will host a fundraiser for the Democratic candidate, Bill Owens, later this month in New York City.
In a fundraising e-mail for Owens, Clinton called the special election "bigger than just one candidate or one office ... victory or defeat will also be seen as a referendum on President Obama's agenda." . . .

Yeah. Not even until the fifth paragraph that they mention either the RINO Dede Scozzafava or Conservative Party candidate Doug Hoffman.

Oh, please don't even get me started on Jazz Shaw of the woefully misnamed "Moderate Voice." (With alternative New Media like this, who needs the MSM?) And because Allah Hates Me, he goes out of his way not to link me at Hot Air. -- even after I went out of my way to toss him a softball chance to unload more snark on Sarah Palin.

Pause. Deep breath. Calm. I'm chopped liver, and chopped liver doesn't have feelings. (Blame Eric Telford.) For something truly interesting about the NY23 race, we turn to libertarian Jason Pye:

Scozzafava supports tax increases (refuses to sign a no tax hike pledge), bailouts, the stimulus bill (she would have been the only Republican to support it), card-check legislation, Cash-for-Clunkers, earmarks, the Davis-Bacon Act and the minimum wage. One of the more ironic twists of this race is the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) and Bill Owens, the Democratic Party nominee, are slamming Scozzafava as a tax-hiking liberal. Even Markos Moulitsas called Scozzafava "the most liberal candidate in the race." . . .
This reminds me of the 2004 GOP Senate primary in Pennsylvania between Sen. Arlen Specter and Rep. Pat Toomey. President George W. Bush and the Republican establishment behind Specter, raising money and campaigning for him. While the principled candidate was left behind.
While many conservatives and libertarians are looking for the GOP to get its act together, they are showing that they are still the party of big government.

Indeed. But for a more cheerful outlook, we seek refreshingly factual reporting, and find it from WTTI in Watertown, N.Y.:

Conservative Party congressional candidate Doug Hoffman opened campaign offices in Watertown, Plattsburgh and Canastota on Saturday.
In Watertown, the Lake Placid CPA rallied a group of supporters at the new office at 106 Court Street, telling them it's time to end the careers of career politicians.
"They want to tell you what you want to hear. And then they get elected and they do what they want to do to promote their career. We don't need more politicians like that," Hoffman told the cheering crowd.

A cheering crowd? For a candidate the Associated Press doesn't even mention until the fifth paragraph? I'm shocked!

More at Memeorandum. I might update later, after I go jab some more pins in my Erik Telford voodoo doll.

Memo to Oslo

My wife cancelled the ground-line phone service we'd been getting via the cable company, without realizing that this would also require us to get a new cable-modem connection for the high-speed DSL Internet service.

So Friday morning, I had no Internet and -- because my wife was working lunch shift as the school cafeteria lady -- it fell my duty to go to the cable company and get this mess straightened out, a task for which my impatient temperament makes me particularly ill-suited. (Please hit the tip jar, so I can hire an intern to deal with mundane crap like this.)

After a 10-minute wait behind the herd of mouth-breathing subliterates demanding service -- Why did the cable company cancel their pro-wrestling premium pay-per-view? Can payment be made in food stamps? -- until it was my turn to talk to the friendly woman at the counter named Vonda, who accepted the old Internet modem I was turning in and disappeared into the backroom.

Tempus fugits and time is money, and every minute I waste standing in line at the cable company is a minute I'm not doing something for which I might be paid money. By contrast, Vonda is being paid $20 an hour, no matter how slowly and inefficiently she performs her job, but can't be fired unless her employer is prepared to spend the money necessary to fight a wrongful-termination suit.

Vonda is a woman and is therefore a "protected class" under state and federal law. She has full benefits and a salary, but any actual work she does is strictly optional. Her company has a government-licensed monopoly on cable service in our county, and I can't even get online to rattle the tip jar. (Thanks to Randall in Ohio, Eric in Texas, and Barry in Missouri for their contributions. Whether it's $1, $10, $25 or $50, every donation is appreciated by my wife and six kids.)

Welcome to the 21st century, you see. So my time is wasted while Vonda goes to the backroom and I stand there at the counter amid the mouth-breathing wrestling fans. Well, as my late father said, "Whoever told you life was supposed to be fair, son?"

Vonda returns to tell me that it will be a few minutes before the new modem is ready. Does this mean I'll have time enough to go smoke a cigarette? Yes, probably, says Vonda.

So I go outside, fire up a Parliament Light and start flipping through my cell-phone, trying to find someone I need to call, perhaps to get some usefulness out of this time I'm being forced to waste at the cable company. (Fact: Hunter S. Thompson never had to deal with this kind of two-bit crap.)

Ah, Stogie at Saberpoint! I call to thank him for his services and -- since I haven't seen any news the past 14 hours -- ask him what's up. He tells me that Obama has just been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. We talk a few more minutes before Vonda comes trotting out the front door of the cable company office, waving some paperwork I need to sign.

Great. Well, good-bye, Stogie. Hello, Vonda.

No justice in the world, you see? Even Obama admits he's done nothing to merit the Nobel Prize, while I'm compelled to deal with Vonda and the cable company, merely to get my Internet service re-connected. He's the Leader of the Free World, the object of worldwide admiration, and I'm an inconsequential peon, dealing with the cable company.

People ignore my e-mails and don't return my phone calls. Allahpundit hasn't linked me in months and you can go count the trackbacks at my Hot Air Greenroom special report to see how little interest conservative bloggers have paid to my reporting on the Sparkman case in Kentucky. Even Moe Lane won't link it.

Why? Because I suck, which is why Erik Telford makes sure I'm never invited to attend important conferences like the Defending the Dream Summit.

Dad was right. Life is unfair. You'd think a middle-aged man would be mature enough to deal with that. And now Obama is a Nobel Peace Prize winner. Because I suck.

Ah, well, I've still got the Paco Award. They can't take that away from me, can they? Hit the tip jar.

UPDATE: 5:25 p.m.: Michelle Malkin notices that the DNC Humor Commissars have now classified sarcasm as terrorism, which means we're all doomed to be waterboarded at the Blogospheric Gitmo.

Is Allahpundit losing his touch?

by Smitty

Blogger burnout is such a horrible thing. Carpal tunnel for the mind, if you will. Allahpundit might be showing early signs. Here is a solid post about the UN report of Iranian nuclear progress.

This blog notes that Allahpundit fell short of adding the obvious Gap Band clip, "You Dropped a Bomb on Me":

The exit question, "Ever wonder how Saddam would be reacting to this if he was still in charge in Iraq" misses the point that Saddam himself was fairly old and in the way. Uday and Qusay, the Joker and the Riddler, were probably more worrisome. They were younger and less predictable than the evil old warhorse. Which, possibly, may have fed into the House of Saud's calculus when they brought in the Great Satan for to make boom-boom in Saddam's room.

No, I'm not seriously picking a fight with Allapundit, who would, indeed, drop a bomb on me.

Allah admits he is 'a horrifying candy-ass'

And about time, too. The occasion? The escalating war between Steve Schmidt and Sarah Palin. As I point out in the Hot Air comments, my paleocon nemesis Clark Stooksbury and I unwittingly played a signficant role in this strange little saga. (Reports of ghostly laughter, apparently emanating from the vicinity of Forest Hills Cemetery and clearly audible as far away as Collegedale and Ringgold, could not be confirmed.)

Meanwhile, also in the comments, I remind Hot Air's Christian readers that Allah seems to have a healthy sense of humor about himself and understands blogging as a commercial enterprise. There's something about the profit motive that can unite people despite their disagreements.

Kind of weird finding myself as the lynchpin holding together this unlikely alliance, the coalition known as . . . The Flemish Menace!

UPDATE: A friend just mentioned to me Thurday's profile of Lynn Vincent in the Politico, which amounts to free advertising for Donkey Cons: Sex, Crime, and Corruption, the favorite book of Adrienne's Catholic Corner. I'm hurt and disappointed that my good buddy Ben Smith didn't feel the need to call me and ask about Lynn -- who speaks fluent Belgian, I should mention. (If you don't get these inside jokes, be grateful. The people who do get them are wiping coffee off their computer screens.)

Meanwhile, The Classical Liberal comments on John McCain's mission to destroy the GOP:

The Bailout Maverick and the rest of the Establishment, intend to continue moving left.
Funny, isn’t it? Considering the only excitement McCain’s campaign could drum-up last year, was from Sarah Palin. And she’s still more popular than he is.

This is classic Crazy Cousin John: He did exactly one thing right during the 2008 campaign, and has been regretting it ever since.

Pass the Vodka and Marlboro Reds!Keep Your Kids Home on Sept. 8

After I woke up about 2 a.m. this morning, I saw that Smitty had linked a Hot Air post in which Allahpundit declared, "I'm with CJ" and ridiculed VodkaPundit's advice to parents to keep their kids home from school next Tuesday rather than subject them to the Obama Mass Indoctrination.

Hey, Allah hates me and, considering I've been keeping my kids out of public schools for nearly 15 years . . . well, what's the Green Room for, anyway?

I still love to hang out with hoodlums, like VodkaPundit: "The President of the United States --whether an Obama a Bush or a Lincoln -- is not my son's daddy." You tell 'em, Steve! I'm with VodkaPundit!

Read the whole thing. Composing a 3,800-word essay in less than seven hours? Not bad for a hoodlum. Ah, if only Tonya could see me now . . .

UPDATE: School's out for kids in Mrs. Malkin's class:

Thanks to the National Tea Party Coalition, which is one of the sponsors of the Sept. 12 Taxpayer March on D.C. Hey, how's that for a field trip, kids? Just get one of your hoodlum buddies to hot-wire a car . . .

UPDATE II: What Would Ferris Bueller Do?

Michelle Malkin on Hannity discussing the Chicago US Annenberg Challenge

by Smitty

[unofficial transcript bits]

"People have to understand the context, timing, and culture of this speech."
...
"It's not about the text. He'll actually deliver a very innocuous speech. I can guarantee you that. But in these classrooms that are living laboratories for left-wing activism, what your are going to get are over-zealous teachers, teacher's union brass, who are in the hip pockets of the Democrat party, urge their kids to write letters, to demonize ObamaCare opponents, to call them opponents of change."

Meanwhile, Daphne of Jaded Haven is having none of this:

My children are not pawns. I have every expectation that their public education will be rhetoric free. I should be able to vet any blatant political message passed through our schools. My sons will not be viewing this historic piece of political claptrap, I could not give a good damn about Obama's benign educational message. He is using his bully political platform in an inappropriate manner and this family is more than glad to quietly dissent.

Whatever sycophants are advising the President, somebody has got to tell him to lay off the kids.

Increasingly less nonsense will be tolerated from the man. Going after the kids promises to bring enough momma bears roaring out of the woods that even a narcissist with his head parked halfway up his digestive tract is bound to hear something. Will the Community Organizer in Chief expend double digits off of his approval rating on this misguided venture? Why yes; yes, he could.

Allahpundit seems hardly clueful on the matter.

One pap-filled 20-minute speech about working hard and serving others is so lethal a threat to tender minds that they have to be yanked off the premises for the day to shield them from it? Or is this more of a protest in principle at the idea of the president giving a captive audience of schoolkids a pep talk on civics?
...
Irresistible exit question: If it's true that "state indoctrination of children is a hallmark of totalitarian government" (never mind that various subtle forms of indoctrination are happening in schools constantly), does that mean atheists were right all along in opposing prayer in public schools?

Michelle dispatched the opening paragraph in the Fox clip above. The stereotypical Allahpundit exit question, often interesting, is unintelligible here. The First Amendment reads as follows:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Thus, the same amendment protecting speech also separates church and state. Where the country has gone off the rails is allowing Critical Theory to drive towards a separation of church and culture. Into this breech steps an ideologically driven President.

So, amongst all of the people who should give their actions review, the atheists may want to consider whether the current situation is at least somewhat predicated upon their focus on the relatively innocuous.

As Michelle notes above, the speech itself won't dare offer ammunition to critics, any more than a brief, benign, ecumenical public prayer. The fact that this is the overture to the Chicago Annenberg Challenge writ large is what should concern us all.

Update:
Carolyn Tackett:

My daughter recently told me that she appreciates that my grandkids wear uniforms at their charter school. I have no doubt that soon all children at public schools will be wearing uniforms as well. Won't they look nice in those cute little brown shirts?

Update II:
VA Virtucon has a minor confidence builder.

Update III:
Obi's Sister has a disturbing cartoon, plus an excellent roundup.

Update IV:
Instapundit brings in some reaction from a couple of local schools. Sounds like there may be some life left in the American public school system, but I wouldn't get too enthusiastic just yet.

Allahpundit will hate this

Amazing what turns up in the algorithms:

Does God exist?
Here are six straight-forward reasons to believe that God is really there.

Completely random coincidence . . .

Glenn Beck Says: 'Best. Book. Evah!'

Obviously, it takes a big man to admit that a mere "Asian woman" has written a better book than his own bestseller but . . . Glenn, have your people call my people, OK?

You know, I never did get around to exploring the question of why Allah hates me. When we were in Denver for the Apotheosis last summer, I asked Michelle, and she said she doesn't know, either. Maybe it's . . . wait a minute.

What's this? MK Ham and Sully, sittin' in a tree? . . . Errrr, errrr . . . .

Michelle Malkin: Best book evah!

And not just because, on Page 1, she begins by giving a well-deserved punk-smacking to David Brooks.

Culture of Corruption: Obama And His Team of Tax Cheats, Crooks, and Cronies -- buy two copies and give one to a liberal friend, just to annoy him -- is the most thorough, well-documented history of Democratic Party corruption since . . .

Hey, wait a minute. What's this on Page 291?

No author is an island. Robert Stacy McCain, fellow ink-stained wretch-turned blogger and co-author of the essential Donkey Cons: Sex, Crime, and Corruption in the Democratic Party, provided invaluable writerly advice and counsel (every bit of which I took except . . .

Read the whole thing. I'm not authorized to give away all of Michelle's secrets, but for a mere $35.50 $18.45 -- our special Amazon discount! -- you can learn the hidden truth!

Not only that, but if you'll hit the tip jar and come back to this post later today, I'll update with some fascinating exclusive background about Michelle and explore the Big Question: "Why does Allah hate me?"

The Blogger Whom Allah HatethGets No Credit for His Scoop

Allah hates me -- I own that Google-bomb -- and the complex algorithm of Allahpundit non-linkage contributes enormously to situations like this:

In October, a truck driver traveling through a low-income district of Jacksonville, Fla., saw a billboard advertising a program that offered free cell-phones for the poor. The truck driver tipped me, and I reported it on my blog.
Sunday, the New York Times finally did a feature story about Lifeline, a federally-subsidized, federally-mandated program.
The blogosphere is excited about this story. Do I get any credit for my scoop? Of course not. Because I suck.

People have asked me why I keep pointing out how much I suck, but it is Allah who -- by his eternal non-linkage -- continuously points this out. I merely note the fact, so that when my friends behold with sadness my poverty and obscurity, they need not wonder why.

UPDATE: Woe unto ye, Ed Driscoll, for it is a proverb among the wise that there is hatred sufficient to encompass all who link the blogger whom Allah hateth.

Dibs on 'Allah hates me' Google-bomb

Allah hates me. Why? Because I'm not a Cool Kid:

Why have I never been cool? Because cool people, by definition, are never enthusiastic. “Cool” is the antithesis of such words as cheerful, energetic, optimistic. All the Cool Kids wear black, quote Nietzsche, and stare blankly at the world muttering darkly cynical aphorisms that no one outside their clique can hope to fathom.
My career as a Cool Kid peaked one Friday afternoon in April 1977 . . .

Read the whole thing.

UPDATE: Brother Dave cites Terry Pratchett:

The monastery of the Monks of Cool is found in a laid back valley in the lower Ramtop mountains. They are a reserved and secretive sect and believe that only through ultimate coolness can the universe be comprehended, that black goes with everything, and that chrome will never truly go out of style. To become a fully accepted Monk, a novice is given the following test. Several outfits are laid out in front of him and the tester asks, "Yo, my son, which of these outfits is the most stylish thing to wear?" The correct answer is "Hey, whatever I select."

Righteous, brother. You're cool. And I mean that in an utterly unironic way, too.